What It's Wednesday my Day of Rest.

So it's religious observance why I've not done much in the way of work today and absolutely nothing to do with the massive hangover. Seriously I was speaking to a mate on the phone this afternoon about the logistics of getting some bricks delivered for some building work he's doing and I had to stop him halfway through to explain that I'd spent most of the day wandering into rooms and then completely forgetting what I'd gone in there for. As a result my next instalment of the para-Olympic closing ceremony is not exactly finished although it might be done by tomorrow evening.

In the meantime though I suppose I should tell you about one of my more infamous Guinness binges that involves that ex-girlfriend I share with This Morning presenter Holly Willoughby from act 9. Saying I don't remember her name is a bit of an understatement. I first met her in an after-hours dive bar and because I'd been on the Guinness since about lunchtime I spent the entire evening talking to her thinking she was someone else completely. She was pretty wrecked herself so it was really the next day before we eventually worked out we weren't who we thought we were. Actually thinking about it it would probably have been better if I'd never found out who she was because she turned out to be a right gold digging little bitch. Seriously after we fell out she completely changed her identity (name, social security/national insurance number etc) and moved to London in order to try and worm her way into the entertainment industry trading on my reputation. You only need to look at the absolute kicking she's getting off both the BBC and HBO as the Valentine Wannop character in Parades End to see how well that went for her.

Of course it was that same dive bar where after another Guinness binge the bouncer assisted me in leaving in speed after I apparently offended the entire population of France after insulting a French barman. However as everyone seems so desperately interested in that story I'm rather childishly going to refuse to tell it. After all it didn't come up in the ceremony.

Oh I miss my old life.

22:20 on 19/9/12.