The Clocks Have Gone Back

On Sunday, October 25th British Summer Time (BST) ended and Britain went back to Greenwich Mean Time (GMT). Personally I think the mood of the nation has improved dramatically since the end of the imposition of this false reality. Unfortunately I forgot to change the clock on my VCR meaning I recorded the wrong programs and now have nothing to hibernate with. On the plus side though I did accidentally record the first episode of Andrew Marr's The Making of Modern Britain giving me the opportunity to recommend it to you once again. That's a good thing because the series serves as a warning for so many, many reasons.

The Britain the program talks about. A Britain where few men a no women were allowed to vote. A Britain where real poverty and deprivation plagued the inner cities. A Britain which gave the world concentration camps and the "science" of eugenics was really not so long ago. In fact it was so recent that from the second episode onwards my grandmother will be able to point at the screen and say; "I remember that. It happened in my life time."

Therefore I think the program is being screened on BBC2 on Wednesday up against the extreme peril of either Crimewatch or Spooks on BBC1 specifically to get my grandmother to watch it. The idea being that when Thursday morning brings the arrival of the alleged cleaner my grandmother will be full of reminiscence about her formative years. That makes the screening of the program part of the Brits second great counter attack and the Croydon network have already been briefed to watch it. You might as well watch it too. After all the UK version is free to air and is both educational and accessible. The Labour party only got in on the act by seeing the program advertised on TV and remembering when the Labour party was formed.

As for the counter attack itself I don't really want to say too much. This blog is the Croydon networks main source of intelligence after all. However I think it's fair to say that the offensive was intended to be a three pronged attack which has now been cut down to a single prong. I wasn't overly worried when it was three pronged and now I'm about 66% less worried. Or to put it another way. When I work hard it normally results in a success. I understand this may be quite a difficult concept for the Brits to grasp.

Also I owe and apology to those Somali pirates because I've now had a look at where they're holding their hostages. However I stand by my statement that if the Special Boat Service (SBS) raid them the SBS will win. This is because the SBS only go in when they're sure they're going to win.

EU Leaders Summit.

The leaders of the national governments that make up the European Union (EU) are currently having a summit in Brussels. The main topic on the agenda is the adoption of the Lisbon Treaty and the sub issue of whether Tony Blair should become the EU President. The second item on the agenda is the upcoming Copenhagen climate change summit (COP 15)and specifically how less economically developed EU members will fund cuts in carbon emissions. They are obviously pushing for subsidies from the more economically developed EU members who are equally obviously resisting.

Britain is attempting to muddy the waters and by doing so block an agreement at the COP 15 by also making this already complicated discussion one about how to fund a negotiated settlement with me over the Bristol Abuse Case. On that point I think I should make one thing perfectly clear and beyond dispute;

The Bristol Abuse Case was and is an action of the British State. Therefore I will not be accepting any settlement that is not funded in it's entirety by the dissolution of British assets. If Britain is trying to tell anybody anything else then it is unaware of its own negotiating position.

Has Anyone Seen Any News?

Although I'm not ill I've decided that part of the reason for getting ill was that I was working far too hard. Therefore I've decided to compensate by being as lazy as humanly possible without actually forgetting to breathe. As such I've not really been paying much attention to the goings on in the world. Even so it was hard not to notice the conclusion of the inquiry to the crash of an RAF Nimrod.

This inquiry relates to an incident in 2006 when an RAF Nimrod crashed in Iraq killing all on board. The inquiry firmly placed the blame for the loss of the 40 year old aircraft on the Ministry of Defence - who operated the aircraft, BaE systems who built the plane and Qintec - the BaE subsidiary who were supposed to be keeping the plane airworthy. As the crash occurred in the same year that the Bristol Abuse Case (BAC) began the noise around the announcement was meant to convince the world that the Brits had accepted the whole thing was a moral failure and are now looking for the appropriate people to punish. In reality the story represents the Brits accepting that the BAC was a practical failure and are looking for the cause of that failure so in the future they can behave as badly as they like without fear of consequence. You'll excuse me if I don't assist in this ongoing process. The announcement yesterday also helped soften the blow for the announcement today that BaE systems is being forced to close a factory and lay off 200+ staff. You see it's not that the Brits can no longer protect their own it's just the Queen striking a blow for the members of the armed services who were killed by BaE incompetence.

Yesterday (29/10) also saw a leaked preview of changes that are to be made to the system for paying MP's expenses. While the full report isn't out for another month you don't need to read it to tell that it's just a knee-jerk reaction that will do nothing to improve Parliament and will probably end up costing the taxpayer even more money. The Labour party decided to leak the preview yesterday to coincide with the first episode of the BBC2 documentary series; "Andrew Marr's the Making of Modern Britain." This series is attempting to tell the story of the myriad of social, political and economic upheavals that Britain underwent between 1901 and 1945 in just six, one hour episodes. The first episode featured the shift from so-called "Country House government" where only 1 in 4 men were allowed to vote and all Britain's MP's were landed gentry who thought the poor deserved to be poor because they were genetically inferior to the upper classes towards a fairer society where working class men were allowed to sit in the House of Commons for the first time. The next episode will feature, amongst other things, universal suffrage for men, the suffragette movement for women's rights and the entire first world war. I recommend that you watch this series because it represents the BBC at its fair and balanced best even if it's pace makes me seem coherent and organised.

Today, being Thursday, is the day the dreaded cleaner comes round so obviously the news is packed with stories designed to stir the pot. This includes further developments in the Plymouth/Bristol Child Abuse Case and the conviction of some Scottish paedophiles. Of course that latter story also represents a rather crude attempt by the Brits to get the Indian Commonwealth Games delegation who are currently in London to take and obstructive position at the Copenhagen summit. Croydon has held a parade welcoming the local TA regiment home from Afghanistan. This is meant to be viewed as the Crown getting tough with Croydon Council by putting them face to face with the soldiers who are prepared to sacrifice everything for their country and announcing that they're sending in the army to sort them out is quite a strong statement for a government to make. In reality the whole thing, like the Mandelson visit, is just an attempt to further stress me out by putting all the people around me on edge. Besides if the Crown was serious about getting tough with Croydon Council they would simply fulfill their legal obligation and issue an arrest warrant. After all that is the minimum price.

The other big story of the last few days is the British couple kidnapped by Somali pirates. The total lack of spin and the fact the MoD have appointed a Captain Harbour as spokesman suggest to me that the pirates are just pirates and the Brits haven't got a clue what's going on. That said the ITN news network have made contact with the pirates and provided the Foreign Office negotiating team with proof of life. That means that in the next couple of days there will either be a special forces raid that the pirates will lose or the Foreign Office will take over the negotiations and the corpses of the hostages should be repatriated by 2011 at the latest

I've Just Got Rather a Strange Letter.

It's from HM Revenue and Customs (HMRC) informing me that there is a shortfall in my National Insurance (NI) contributions. What' strange about this is that the benefits I receive from the Department of Work and Pensions (DWP) cover my NI contributions. Therefore if there is a problem with my NI payments HMRC need to address their complaints to the DWP not me. This means I'm interpreting this letter as a, not very good, attempt at intimidation.

I am aware that the Brits are attempting to frame the sending of this letter as an attempt to re-start negotiations. This must be untrue because as has previously been discussed, at quite some length, while those in Britain who have engaged in crimes against humanity retain the right to work or the right draw on public funds no negations can exist that include the notion that I have to pay tax.

I've not yet written a response to this letter or indeed am sure if I will both. However if I do I am sure that I will be billing HMRC at a rate of £10,000 per letter of £100 per character, whichever is greater, for the privilege of my time.

I Feeling Much Better Today, Thank You For Asking.

It seems that whatever illness I was suffering from has decided to not become a full blown cold and has slipped away into nothing. In order to speed the process I skipped going to the gym today and instead watched Atonement. This seemed a sensible decision for two main reasons. Firstly it left me feeling that I'd suddenly been cultured and secondly it means that I will probably be back to full strength tomorrow.

Aside from the announcement that yet another British Army helicopter crashed because the pilot ran out of talent the big news was that Radovan Karadzic failed to appear in court for the first day of his trial at the Hague. For one blindingly obvious reason this has been aimed in my general direction however I think it's possible to read a little too much into the story. I think the whole thing reeks of a deal between the judiciary and the defendant to make sure that the start of the trial doesn't co-incide with the anniversary of the Nord-Ost Theatre Massacre. That sort of poor scheduling would open a massive can of worms that I may or may not be bothered to expand upon tomorrow. After all the Hague is the court that holds ultimate jurisdiction over the Nuremberg codes and I suspect Karadzic's defence will involve attempts to attack the credibility of the court.

I'm ill.

Well for the last couple of days I've had a bit of a sore throat, a bit of a headache, a bit of a runny nose and a few aches and pains. I don't know yet if this is the start of something more serious or whether it's just the sort of run down feeling you get after rushing around too fast for too long. Obviously I'm going to be hedging my bets towards the latter by spending the next couple of days firmly attached to my sofa. If I'm feeling particularly energetic I might eat some soup. However in the meantime I must remember my gender and assure you all that I'm Dying!!

Interestingly yesterday I did wake up with a massive hangover which for some reason cancelled out my other symptoms. This put me in the unusual situation where as the hangover gradually lifted I was left feeling progressively worse.

There Are Only 46 States in the United States

Because Virginia, Kentucky, Pennsylvania and Massachusetts all ascended as Commonwealths. Legally this serves no other purpose then to make me look like a bit of a smart arse right up to the point I make my next statement;

This fact and many others can be found in the QI book of General Ignorance with a foreword by Stephan Fry and four words by Alan Davis. The book also includes the history of the Celts as researched by Edward Luyld although I swear I'd heard this in advance in respect to the Pict tattoo I have on my back. Imagine how clever I felt when that question came up on QI and I suddenly realised that I had once spoken to an man who was more intelligent then Stephan Fry.

Aside from that I feel extra credit must go out to the random safa who asked me in Thornton Heath how to get home because he has a long walk to Clapham.

The Crown and the BNP

The other day I wrote an article explaining how the British Crown was doing everything in its power to help get the fascist British National Party (BNP) elected. For an article that was thrown together after eight pints I thought it was rather good however it did omit one import detail.

If you count the BNP as a legitimate political party then here in the UK we have three right-wing political parties. The Conservatives who are very much a centre ground party and only really distinguishable from the Labour party by virtue of the fact they seem more competent. The BNP who are just fascists in the mould of Hitler or Mussolini with no real polices to speak off. Between the two sits the UK Independence Party (UKIP) who were set up to bring about a full withdrawal of the UK from the European Union. As the name suggests UKIP are a nationalistic party but their nationalism is defined by whether or not you have a British Passport not the colour of your skin or even where you were born. While the party itself is not racists I think it's fair to say that a significant number of the people who vote for them are the sort of casual racists who live in constant fear of the day Johnny Foreigner is going to come over here and force us all to eat frogs legs.

On Monday October 19th the Court of Appeal (the Crown) ruled that UKIP were guilty of a very technical breach of the rules on party funding from a UK citizen who was not on the electoral register*. As punishment UKIP were ordered to repay £367,697 along with a £1500 fine and the legal costs of bringing the case. In the financial year ending 2009 UKIP only managed to raise £200,000 in political donations. So even considering other sources of income such as EU money this bill of £400,000 is going to dramatically reduce the amount that UKIP is going to be able to spend campaigning at the General Election even if it doesn't completely bankrupt the party and consign it to the history books. If that happens UKIP share of the vote will be spilt with the majority going to the Conservatives and possibly as much as 30% going to the BNP. Depending on the geographic distribution of these votes this should be more then enough to let the BNP win seat(s) in the House of Commons alongside a Conservative government.

Also, whilst talking about the BNP's now defunct constitution, I said that referring to ethnic groups such as "the Celtic Scottish Folk Community" only made the BNP look stupid because these groups never existed and bore no resemblance to the ancient Celtic tribes. That was understating the fact because there weren't even ancient Celtic tribes. In ancient times (400BC) there were groups of people in Ireland, Scotland, England, Wales, France and the Balkans who spoke a similar language. In the 18th Century researchers termed this the Celtic language and determined that it had managed to spread over such a wide area because the people who spoke it travelled and didn't divide themselves along ethnic of tribal lines so the language was born out of the melting pot. That means the Celtic folk tradition that the BNP claim to be defending is one of immigration and multiculturalism.

Anyway the BBC are planning to record tonight's edition of Question Time at 18:30 and there have already been clashes outside the studio. With the postal strike starting today I think we can safely describe the mood of the nation as well up for it, whatever it may be. So over the next 24hrs feel free to use the term Royal Mail as creatively as possible.



*The donor in question is a man called Alan Bown. He is a UK citizen and as far as I know currently not in prison so the only bar from being on the electoral register was his apparent failure to send in the form.

No Punching Required

The people from the memory service have just been round and they weren't even medical so it was even easier then expected. There were two of them which created the obvious problem of trying to be in two different locations at the same time. I left the woman (Chris) to go through a series of cognitive processing tests with my grandmother such as memory, mental agility and spacial awareness. Although the results of these test still need to be collated and actually analysed I'll pretty sure they'll show nothing more the age related deterioration. While they were doing that I was with my father and the man (Dave Matthews) going through a patient history based on census data like date of birth, date of marriage etc. There was also a series of questions to establish capacity for independent living most of which had to be crossed out as clearly not relevant.

There were two slightly nasty moments first when I pointed out that if we were going to be having a discussion about patient care it might be a good idea to include the patient in that discussion. The second was when they tried to claim they weren't part of Croydon PCT. Instead they argued that they were a secondary, social service provided by the Local Health Authority. Try and guess what other names the local health authority is known by.

Dave and Chris are now going to report back to their team to decide on their next move. Obviously there will be a next move as this is a piecemeal process but as they have nothing to offer it's going to be difficult for them to sustain that process for a substantial period of time.

The BNP On Question Time

Here in the UK we have a weekly political TV show called Question Time. This show features a panel normally made up of representatives of the three main political parties, a representative of one of the minor political parties and a respected or celebrity political commentator answering questions about the political issues of the week posed by an audience made up of the general public. The show has been broadcast on BBC 1 for thirty years and in the days before multi-channel TV was one of the only ways for politicians to engage with the public making it something of a national institution. This Thursday (22/10) everyones favourite Holocaust denying, Nazi saluting, Paki-bashing paedophiles - the British National Party (BNP) will be making their debut on the show. The fact that their two seats in the European Parliament makes the BNP a legitimate political party makes it near impossible for the BBC to deny them airtime. However this hasn't stopped Britain's chattering classes having a rabid debate over fascism and the limits of free speech with Cabinet member and decorated anti-apartheid campaigner, Peter Hain calling for the BNP to be banned from the show. Personally I'm waiting with baited breath to see how much of a fool, party leader, Nick Griffin is going to make of himself come Thursday.

In the meantime the British Establishment seem to be doing everything in their power to make sure that the BNP stop publicly humiliating themselves and become a more respectable and electable party. Last week they did this by issuing a court order forcing the BNP to change their constitution to allow non-white members to join. Although all the talk of court orders, injunction and fines sound ominous this whole process actually does the BNP a huge favour. You see, at the moment, the argument in pubs. living rooms and Internet chat rooms across Britain as to whether the BNP is a racist party or not goes something like this;

A BNP supporter says that the party is not racist so the person they're talking to asks if the BNP lets black people join. The BNP supporter claims that they don't so the other person says, "Well you're racists then, now F*** off."

It's so simple that a ten year old can win it. With a new constitution that argument becomes more complicated allowing the BNP to recruit more ten year olds as members. Further more the current BNP constitution states that new members must be from bizarre ethnic groups such as the Scottish Celtic Community or the Welsh Celtic Community. As I'm sure anyone whose college form tutor also happened to be a senior research fellow in ancient British history at Oxford university* knows these ethnic groups simply do not exist nor have ever existed. There were ancient British tribes known as Celts but the notion of Celtic folk was invented in the 17th century as a way to sell tat to tourists. Therefore allowing members of the BNP to claim that they are members of the Celtic folk community allows them to announce to the world that they are idiots who know nothing of the British heritage they claim to be protecting.

Today has brought another attempt to civilise the BNP as a number of former British Army generals signed an open letter calling on unnamed extremists groups to stop using the iconography of the British military to further their political cause. Although the language used in the letter is pretty strong calling for "all those who seek to hijack the name of Britain's military for their own to cease and desist!" and claiming that their values "are at odds with with the values of the modern British military " it is hard to view the letter as anything other then an attempt by the British military to make the BNP more electable.

After all it was the BNP who dubbed their European election campaign as "The battle of Britain, a fight for British jobs for British workers" and used images of Winston Churchill and RAF Spitfires to emphasise their point. However being the BNP they used the image of a Spitfire from one of the RAF's Polish squadrons that was flown by a Polish pilot. A prime example of a skilled worker coming over here to take the job that a British worker wasn't skilled enough to do which makes the BNP's anti-immigrant worker stance look more then a little bit stupid. Besides every time Nick Griffin compares himself to a man in any army I have to fight this seemingly irrepressible urge to point out that this short, podgy, one-eyed freak couldn't even qualify as cannon fodder should he ever grow the balls to try.






*Seriously his name was Wilfred Leng and he tried to get me to apply. You could ask him yourself but apparently in 2004 he died of some exotic disease in some far flung part of the South American jungle which as a pretty odd place for him to be on an archaeological dig.

**Yep the memory service people are coming tomorrow at some time between dusk and dawn. I hope you won't think less of me if I appear tomorrow proudly announcing that I've just punched a female nurse in the face.

The Great Climate Swoop

Over the weekend of October 17th and 18th activists associated with Climate Camp staged a direct action protest to at the Ratcliffe-on-Soar, coal fired power station in Nottinghamshire, UK.

Broadly speaking this was undertaken to highlight the urgent need for the Copenhagen Summit to take action on Climate Change and draw attention to the fact that coal fired power stations are by far the largest contributor to man made greenhouse gas emissions. More specifically Ratcliffe-on-Soar was chosen to highlight the hypocrisy of so called greenwashing. This is the collective name given to a range of practices undertaken by energy companies to convince the public that they are trying to be environmentally responsible while at the same time continuing to pollute as if there's no tomorrow and fighting any attempts to make them clean up their act. E-On, who own Ratcliffe-on-Soar, are notorious for this especially through their commitment to Carbon Capture and Storage (CCS) technology. Although there are a number of ways to go about it CCS basically involves using filters to remove the carbon from the smoke produced by burning coal before it is released into the atmosphere and then storing the carbon under ground. As it is possible that, over time, this carbon could be turned back into coal CCS is the holy grail of energy research as it has the potential to turn coal into a carbon neutral, renewable energy source.

The problem is that it doesn't exactly work yet so the British Government have made funding available to one lucky energy company to develop the technology. E-On have entered the competition for this funding and have made it the centre piece for a marketing campaign that bills them as the industry leader in CCS technology. Of course what E-On are less keen to have known is that their bid to develop CCS involves building a new, massive coal fired power station of which less then 2% will actually be involved in CCS. In order to fuel this new power station they also want permission to build a new open cast coal mine because obviously CCS requires special, magic coal that can't be brought on the open market(!)

The Swoop itself took the form of a traditional red zone assault with the protesters forming up into five blocs;

1. Footsteps to the Future whose "mission" was to march to the main gates of the power station and wave banners and placards highlighting the complaints against E-On.

2. Bike Bloc whose mission was to noisily and colourfully cycle around the roads encircling the power station to draw attention to the fact there was a protest going on.

3. Take Back the Power whose mission was to go over, under, through or around the power stations two perimeter fences in order to occupy the main control room.

4. False Solutions whose mission was to go over, under, through or around the power stations two perimeter fences in order to occupy the main coal pile.

5. Capitalism is Crisis who were an autonomous bloc with no pre-determined role or mission.

Over the two days a total of around 1500 protesters took part in the demonstration with varying degrees of success. With their relatively simple missions the Footsteps to the Future and the Bike Bloc's were a complete success achieving everything they set out to and more. The False Solutions bloc was a partial success breaching the power stations inner perimeter allowing a few protesters to reach the coal pile. The Take Back the Power bloc was pretty much a total failure with the protesters failing the breach the inner perimeter let alone reach the control room. With no stated purpose it is hard to tell if the Capitalism is Crisis bloc was a success or failure. Collectively though the Swoop was a complete success because the extra security required to keep the protesters out meant that the power station was unable to operate safely. This meant that E-On were forced to power down the plant to tick over on Friday and hold it there over the weekend before bringing it back up to power on Monday in spite of their claims that the plant continued to provide power to to 3 million homes throughout the weekend. This claim is made even more ridiculous when you consider that Ratcliffe-on-Soar only has the capacity to power 2 million homes.

Obviously the police were out in force to meet the protesters and because their Blackheath Climate Camp ruse fell flat on it's face they seem to be back to their pre-G20 violent best. This took the form of the usual baton strikes, kicks, punches and pepper spray along with the interesting technique of using police dogs to attack people sitting quietly having a picnic in a field. This more traditional approach to policing led to the usual range of minor injuries to the protesters including bruises, sprains and more then a few dog bites. The most serious injury sustained by a protester was a heart attack and although it is unclear what, if any, role the police had in inducing the attack they did prevent the casualty receiving medical assistance for 1 hour. Fortunately the actions of the protesters own medics prevented a loss of life and the man made a full recovery.

The police also reported that a small number of their officers suffered minor injuries although it will take a freedom of information request to find out if these were as a result of contact with protesters or from the average police officers seeming inability to drink a cup of tea or get up from a chair without hurting themselves. The most serious injury sustained by the police was a head injury which resulted in the officer being airlifted to hospital although he was released from hospital within the standard 3 hour A&E waiting period for non-urgent cases. This incident was captured on video by both a protester and the BBC although the BBC seem unwilling to admit it let alone show the tape. Even though the injury occurred just after the police had been given the order to advance on the crowd with force it is unclear from the video if the officer received a blow from a police baton or simply suffered a fainting spell and hit his head on his way down. Either way it is obvious that the officers injuries were not serious enough to warrant an airlift. People familiar with the police's attempts to cover up Ian Tomlinson's death at the G20 protests will find it highly ironic that there is a delay in the injured officer receiving treatment because the police were pelting the protesters with plastic bottles.

Another Pleasent Day

Seriously it was. The only thing of note was that at 16:58 the girls next door decided to call the fire brigade so suddenly I had fire trucks pulling up outside and firefighters in breathing apparatus wandering around my garden. The Brazilian Grand Prix began at 17:00 so I decided to do the only sensible thing which was to check that I wasn't actually on fire before completely ignoring them. This was a pretty good decision because the first three minutes of the race were action packed with crashes, safety cars, a punch up and fire in the pit lane. The race was eventually won by Mark Webber but more importantly Jenson Button finished sixth making him the 2009 world champion.

Aside from that I've not really been paying much attention. The protests at the Ratcliffe-on-Soar power station have continued with the station operators and the police trying to emphasise that the power station has not been shut down. Technically this is true because powering down a power station before powering it back up again actually takes the best part of six weeks so the operators have kept the power station ticking over on a skeleton staff. This means that the station is still operating but not at a high enough level to supply power to one home let alone three million.

Ah Yes I Should've Mentioned.

part of my grandmother regaining her facilities is her remembering that my father, like all his British Intelligence colleagues, is a pathetic, worthless waste of skin. Obviously this occasionally leads to a little bit of confrontation as we have seen today. However with a few gory details and the occasional technical term the issue was soon resolved.

While I was doing that activists associated with the Climate Camp have been trying to shut down the Ratcliffe of Soar power station. While this action is still on going I can report that they have been totally successful in their operation because E-On, the station operators shut down the plant in preparation of the action. Contrary to the police's scaremongering ahead of the protest this did not lead to national power grid collapsing nor did a single light in the area served by the power station go out because that's not how the national grid works. During clashes with the police one of the protesters suffered a heart attack but after the police had delayed him receiving medical attention for three hours he made a full recovery. One police officer also had to be airlifted to hospital with head injuries although the fact he was released after a couple of hours suggests those head injuries were not serious and the police were being a little melodramatic. No details of how the officer was injured have been released but it has been suggested that he was trying to hit a protester with his baton so hard that it recoiled and he ended up punching himself in the face.

Also Carter-Ruck have now fully dropped their injunction against the publication of the report into Trafigura's involvement into the dumping of toxic waste so all in all it's been rather a good day.

Dynamic Working Environment

Since my post this morning the Brits have issued a blanket denial. As this denial is blanket it's a bit hard to tell exactly which bit they're denying. They can't possibly be denying that Biobank is trying to map my father's genetic profile. After all Biobank are quite open and upfront about the fact they're trying to collect detailed genetic information on 500,000 people in order to map their genetic profiles and hopefully provide treatments for a variety of illnesses. Similarly they can't possibly be try to deny that CIPTS have breached my patient confidentiality because I'm looking at the letter they sent to me inviting me to that appointment. The second sentence reads; "Following my telephone conversation today with your father...."

They must then be denying that they're only pushing my grandmother into dementia just so they can use a CAT scanner to map her brain. This is more complicated because dementia is diagnosed as normal memory loss accompanied by one or more of the following symptoms; confusion, change in personality, wandering, depression and sleeplessness. We already know that two of the side-effects of Omeprazole are confusion and sleeplessness. Therefore when the memory service diagnose her with dementia and expose her to a battery of genetic and other tests they will do so because she displays normal memory loss, confusion and sleeplessness. In terms of research into dementia all these tests will prove is that Omeprazole causes two of the symptoms of dementia, something which has been known since the drug was licensed for use. Now I know that the Brits are hardly the brightest nor the best so it is possible they are just doing this because they think it's easier then Googling the manufacturers advice. However I think it is far more plausible that they are doing it for a much more sinister reason which could just be plain old spite.

Elsewhere my father has been in contact with my sister who is having a spot of bother. It turns out Hampshire Council have failed to pay her the housing benefit that she uses to pay her rent. If this happens twice more her landlord, Hampshire Council, will be able to take out an eviction order against her and the fact that Hampshire Council have failed in their legal obligation will count for nothing in court. I'll see if I can dig up my post from six months ago on the matter but it appears that everything is happening on schedule so while I'm not happy about it we knew these day's would come.

Today there have also been developments in the Binyam Mohammed case. While I haven't had the chance to look into it properly it appears to be an attempt by the Brits to bully the Americans into continuing to share intelligence.

My Letter Has Arrived.

The letter I sent to Croydon Integrated Psychological Therapies Service (CIPTS) in response to their offer of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) has now arrived so I can share it's contents with you all;

Dear Sir/Madam
As previously discussed with you department at great length the nature of my condition means that no therapy will be effective until a suitable social placement can be found. As the PCT is currently unwilling or unable to provide such a placement I am forced to defer your offer of an appointment on November 6th. I should make it clear that this does not mean that I am no longer interested in starting therapy because I look forward to benefiting from your service just as soon as an appropriate treatment program can be provided.

Further more I have to say the fact that you are prepared to discuss details of my treatment with my father against my express wishes leaves me concerned that you lack the commitment to patient privacy and confidentiality that is necessary when providing psychological treatment.
Yours faithfully.

As I'm sure you'll agree there is nothing in that letter that constitutes a refusal of treatment it merely requests that certain pre-conditions, one of which is legally enforceable, are met before treatment begins. Anyway as previously discussed a refusal of treatment does not automatically trigger a termination of benefit payments it merely provides a justification to the Department of Work and Pensions should they wish to terminate benefit payments. That said I think we're all aware of the mood music at the moment.

Ahead of next weeks expected strike the Royal Mail has been exceptionally busy today because my father also received a letter inviting him to take part in the UK Biobank http://www.ukbiobank.ac.uk/ Run by the NHS and supported by my always sinsister old friends, The Wellcome Trust Biobank sets out to collect the genetic information of 500,000 UK adults aged between 40 and 69. Officially this is being done to improve the prevention, diagnosis and treatment of a wide range of illnesses including cancer, heart disease, diabetes, dementia and joint problems.

Unofficially, and I apologise if this sounds insane, it makes it look less and less likely that they want to stick my grandmother in a CAT scanner to provide effective treatments for the illnesses of aging and more and more as if they're trying to genetically map my entire family in order to help them genetically engineer an army of super soldiers. Either that or they're trying to prove once and for all that I am inferior to Prince Harry in which case I suspect it's likely to be a long assed research project.

Now I Do Not Like Publishing...

...the real or imagined details of my medical history on the internet so I like publishing my grandmother's even less. However I think it's fair to say that since the codeine has been removed from her drug regime the improvement in her condition has been noticeable and dramatic. So much so that the Croydon Memory Service have been on the telephone to inform us that she's suddenly been moved up the waiting list and has been offered and appointment for a memory test next Wednesday (21/10). It's almost as if they've calculated that if my grandmother is left symptom free for a long period of time it will become more and more difficult for them to convince her that she needs the help of their service.

Also the Croydon Community Mental Health Team have been in contact with my father to inform him of a new specialist service they are offering patients with personality disorders just like mine. Quoting from the pamphlet this service is designed by service users for people who have been let down by more main stream services and may lead to employment with the [NHS] Trust as a group facilitator. This service is known as the Service Users Network (SUN) and throughout the literature is referred to as "The Sun." That made me smile and I'm sure the service will come out tomorrow because having kicked their arses in the fields of law, politics, psychology, medicine and economics I'm now mocking them through the medium of musical theatre.

MP Does Something Good Shock!

I know that with the long running expenses scandal it's almost impossible to believe but one of Britain's Members of Parliament not only done the job he's being paid to but almost went above an beyond the call of duty in the process.

The story began in August 2006 when Trafigura, a British Oil brokerage firm, brokered a deal between an oil company and a local contractor to dispose of toxic oil slops. Compagine Tommy, the Ivorian contractor, clearly didn't do their job properly because the toxic waste ended up being illegally dumped at various locations around Abidjan, Ivory Coast. Within weeks tens of thousands of local residents fell sick with a range of similar symptoms including vomiting diarrhoea and breathing problems. In February 2007 Trafigura paid the Ivorian government £100million to remove the waste but denied any liability claiming that they'd employed Compagine Tommy in good faith and had no idea the waste was to be dumped illegally. In October 2008 the head of Compagine Tommy was jailed in the Ivory Coast over the incident and after some further negotiation Trafigura agreed to pay £1000 each to 30,000 people made ill by the waste but still refused to accept liability.

In September 2009 a report emerged revealing that not only did Trafigura know in advance that the oil slops were toxic they also fully understood that the contractor intended to dump them illegally and tried to cover up these details. Trafigura reacted quickly to the news of this report by instructing Carter-Ruck, a British legal firm who bill themselves as specialists in "corporate reputation management" - that is making sure that damaging information about private companies never makes it into the public domain - to deal with the report. Carter-Ruck swiftly killed the story by applying for and being granted a so called super injunction. Unlike a normal injunction that would have simply prevented the report being published the terms of the super injunction also stopped people discussing the fact that an injunction had even been applied for let alone who applied for it or what it covered.

Through some diligent investigative reporting the Guardian newspaper discovered that Paul Farrelly, the MP for Newcastle-Under-Lyme intended to table a question about the case in Parliament on October 12th 2009. As is standard Parliamentary procedure and what we pay them for this would require a government minister to stand up and offer a detailed answer to the question. The Guardian immediately contacted Carter-Ruck to inquire if the terms of the injunction extended to this parliamentry question. Carter-Ruck replied that they felt the injunction most certainly did apply to the floor of the House of Commons and threatened the Guardian with legal action if they reported the question or its answer. This forced the Guardian to issue a statement on their website saying that they had been "prevented from identifying the MP who has asked the question, what the question is, which minister might answer it or where that question can be found." Within hours Twitter and the blogosphere were full of some incredibly accurate guesses of which case the injunction referred too along with lots of complaints against the injunction itself because while toxic waste dumping in Africa may not be a major concern for British voters the fact that a private company thinks it can dictate to Parliament what it can and cannot discuss most certainly should be.

The next day John Farrelly stood up in Parliament and asked the following question;

"Yesterday, I understand, Carter-Ruck quite astonishingly warned of legal action if the Guardian reported my question. In view of the seriousness of this, will you accept representations from me over this matter and consider if Carter-Ruck's behaviour represents a potential contempt of Parliament?"

In itself asking this question could well have broken the terms of the injunction however the reporting of it being asked most certainly doesn't. This forced Carter-Ruck to drop the ban on reporting the original question and has called the legality of the injunction into question. It is now up to the Speaker of the House of Commons to decide whether to pursue Carter-Ruck and the Judge who issued the injunction on the charge of contempt of Parliament.

Now That Was Depressing

Today saw the first Prime Minister's Question Time (PMQ) of the new term of the British Parliament. Normally PMQ's is one of the more lighthearted events of the political week with the leaders of the three main political parties asking each other questions that may as well begin with the words; "Does the honourable member know that his mother's so fat.....?" Today's exchange was noticeably different because it began with the Prime Minister reading the names of all the British troops killed in Afghanistan since the last PMQ's back in July. Once all three party leaders had paid their respects there was only time in the half hour session left for a quick question about health care provision in Barnsley and a longer question about why British troops are having their training cut before being deployed to Afghanistan.

PMQ's was followed by a statement from the Prime Minister in which he announced that Britain would be sending 500 extra troops to Afghanistan. This is half the 1000 troops the military requested and while no details were given there appear to be three opt outs that would prevent these troops actually being sent. That is to say that unless the military feels there is adequate equipment to protect them, Britain's NATO allies make similar commitments and the yet to be appointed Afghan President commits far more Afghan troops the British troops may not be sent. After the announcement a former army officer turned TV pundit declared that the statement was timed to convince the Americans that Britain was still very much committed to the war and put pressure on the Whitehouse to commit 40-80,000 more US troops to the campaign.

I Can Confirm

That I have recently received a letter from the Croydon Community Mental Health Team (CCMHT) offering me an appointment for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) on November 6th. Today (13/10) I sent them the response to this offer. Due to the mysteries of the postal service they, themselves have not yet received this response so I'm hardly likely to post the exact details of it on the Internet. However I think it is fair to say that my response can be summarised by a two letter word, the first letter of which is "N" and the second letter of which is "O".

In itself this exchange should have no direct effect my existing benefit claims however as they say the shoe is firmly in the local authorities court and the ball is certainly on their foot so you'll excuse me if I sit here getting drunk and try not to freak out too much.

Bad Luck Banksy.

I guess the summer long residency at the Bristol museum didn't go quite as well as planned because the once rebellious graffiti artist Banksy has been forced to move on to pastures new. In September this piece, allegedly by the Bristol based artist appeared on a wall in Croydon.



Now while being insulted by a world renowned artist is I suppose in it's own way a bit of a compliment the berk went and stuck his latest piece on a wall belonging to Croydon council. Following a poll run by the the local newspaper to decide if it was vandalism or art the local council were planning to remove the wall and auction off the piece for a tidy sum. At least they were planning too until this happened



Which had nothing to do with me because I would have used lighter fluid. So apparently today the news comes out that Gordon Brown is going to be forced to repay £12,000 of "cleaning expenses."

On a slightly related note the doctor who we saw earlier who had never met or treated my grandmother before turned up having being briefed that she was going to visit a geriatric patient with dementia. As such she went into a protocol to assess the level of confusion which involved asking a series of questions such as what's your name, what's your date of birth, what year is it and who is the Prime Minister? When she asked that last question everyone in the room sort of looked at each other as if to say, "Why what have you heard?"

Dr Quincy Wins it Again!

For those of you who don't know and those of you who are too proud to admit to knowing what I'm talking about Dr Quincy is the eponymous hero of the TV show Quincy, ME. This show which ran between 1976 and 1984 centres around the exploits of a Los Angeles Coroner as he tenaciously investigates murders and brings the guilty to justice. The show is widely respected as the genesis for all those forensic cop shows and medical mystery dramas like CSI, NCIS, House and Medical Investigation that you see on TV today. This lineage is made even more impressive by the fact that over its eight year run Quincy, ME only really ever had three story lines;

1. A person is killed and the police either mistakenly think it's an accident or have accused and innocent man of the crime. Battling the police, his bosses and the corrupt politicians at City Hall Quincy investigates the crime properly and wins justice for the victim.

2. Someone drops dead from an exotic disease like Anthrax, Meningitis or Botulism. Quincy then faces a race against time to prevent a public heath disaster often having to battle the police, his bosses and the corrupt politicians at City Hall on the way.

3. Someone drops dead and although it's often just a tragic accident the circumstances are linked to an important social issue of the day. As Quincy investigates the case the people he meets are forced to shoehorn into the dialogue long polemics warning of the need for legislation to reduce air pollution, the short comings of privatised health care, the dangers of drugs or the evils of punk rock music.

While waiting for that Scene of Crime Officer back in August I filled my time by watching an episode of Quincy that fell firmly into the third category. In the episode "Whatever happened to Morris Pearlmutter" a famous actress in her twilight years was found dead apparently murdered by a street punk. During the course of the investigation Quincy befriends one of the dead woman's friends, an actor who has just been offered the leading role in a live TV drama examining societies attitudes to aging. The problem is that, being in his seventies, the actor is having trouble remembering his lines and worries that he is descending into senile dementia. Being an honourable doctor and an amiable chap Quincy vows to help him only to be warned by Mrs Quincy, a psychiatrist, not to jump to conclusions because; "Senile dementia is frequently mis-diagnosed in elderly patients. Their problems are often caused by an underlying illness, emotional distress or the over prescription of drugs. It's all too easy for a lazy doctor to assign a diagnosis of dementia and simply leave the patient to suffer." Quincy heeds the advice, helps the actor learn his lines, catches the killer and still has time to be on hand to watch the actor deliver and barnstorming performance in the TV show and receive a standing ovation.

I only bring this up now because after a few days of, er, encouragement my father today decided to summon the doctor to discuss if my grandmother's apparently worsening senility might be due to the fact she is being prescribed 60mg of codeine daily as a long term pain management solution and 125mcg of Omeprazole (a treatment for stomach ulcers that causes disturbed sleep and confusion) for no apparent medical reason. The doctors first solution was to offer urine and blood tests. She then suggested a memory test and a CAT scan before finally trying to insist on yet more drugs. However after being pressed on the matter she couldn't provide a medical justification for the existing prescriptions so the codeine's out and the omeprazole is on it's way out pending a wider review because if you want to give someone stomach ulcers then pumping them full of prescription pills is a pretty good way to go about it.

As for that episode of Quincy, ME it was first broadcast in 1983 so I'm not too worried about giving away the secrets of cutting edge medical research. Besides it's becoming increasingly obvious that Croydon Primary Care Trust know exactly what they're doing.

A Time To Reminisce

A few weeks ago I told a story from my childhood where a man walked into a church with a samurai sword leading to blood, horror and a million and one really bad Crocodile Dundee impersonations. Although I only brought the matter up as an example of a really dark anecdote what I failed to mention was that throughout the span of my life that actually ranked as one of the better days. Anyway that's my comfort zone what's yours?

The weekend has also brought another EDL/UAF demonstration in Manchester, UK. While I've not really had the opportunity to look into the matter beyond the totally excellent Manchester Evening News coverage the incident seems best scored as a clear win the the Greater Manchester Police.

Drowning Not Waving.

In spite of being a Saturday Britain has been in a verbose mood. The day began with the Daily Telegraph publishing an interview with Gordon Brown. The main topic for discussion was the MP's expenses scandal and the Prime Minister announced that he expected those MP's who have over claimed to repay the taxpayer and that the worst offenders to face criminal charges of fraud and corruption. Although I'm pretty sure that Brown's comments were limited to the expenses scandal the prospect of members of the British government being prosecuted for breaking laws sent a noticeable shudder through the Establishment.

At around midday Downing Street, the civil service department that "handles" the Prime Minister, announced that Gordon Brown has two small tears in the retina of his right eye. Despite this injury Downing Street went on to announce that Brown will not be undergoing any further operations. This story will keep the translators busy because in English the word "tear" meaning a hole, split or rip is spelt exactly the same way as the word "tear" meaning the liquid that appears in the eyes often whilst weeping in sorrow. Therefore it would be very easy to interpret this announcement as the civil service rushing to reassure everyone that Gordon Brown is currently crying himself to sleep every night and will be stopped should he try and sign any executive orders that might upset the status quo.

Elsewhere Prince Phillip decided to give an interview to the BBC. The Royal Consort used the opportunity to share with us his views on the design of modern consumer products. While he thinks that generally the standard of design has improved in some areas it has declined complaining that he often struggles to control televisions. He went on to say that when trying to watch television he often finds himself lying on the floor fiddling around with a torch and a magnifying glass. A process that he describes as being rather like making love. Feel free to make of that what you will.

The award for the most stupid political announcement of the day though has to go to Italian Prime Minister, Silvio Berlusconi. Speaking about his upcoming prosecution for a variety of charges of bribery and corruption Berlusconi declared that he was the most persecuted man in the history of the world. He went on to say, in an amazing Freudian slip, that he has spent millions paying off judges.

Death, Destruction and Horror.

That's right it's been just another week in Britain. With all the intensity of the Conservative party conference there are a couple of stories that may have slipped through the net.

The first of these is the discovery on Monday (5/10) of a bag of human bones by workmen clearing the verge of the M5 motorway near Bristol. By Thursday (8/10) the bones had been identified as belonging to Melanie Hall using a combination of dental records and a gold ring that belonged to Ms Hall's grandmother. Melanie Hall went missing from the Cadillac's nightclub in Bath in 1996 and although the case is not technically a murder investigation two men were arrested in 2003 but released after searches of their properties and farmland near Bath failed to uncover enough evidence to charge them. Therefore I think it's highly likely that Avon & Somerset police have known since 2003 exactly who committed the crime and where the body was buried but were unable to obtain the search warrant needed to go and prove it. That means it would be incredibly easy for another government agency that is less concerned with due process to go and dig up the bones before leaving them lying around for someone to find.

The reason behind this is that on Friday October 2nd I said that I was disappointed that the Brits were finding it difficult to boast that they were winning. This discovery in Bristol gave them the opportunity to claim that they have succeeded in their mission by recovering and examining the remains of the dead girl in Bristol. As this case is a long running and important story in Bristol, Bath and the small villages around Trowbridge the discovery also helps to turn up the tension in these important locations. After all it's never good for the ego to hear the television describe you as a bag of bones dumped by the side of the slow lane of the motorway. Of course that contradicts the claims of success because a man who has enough food has no need to fish further. As for the murderer I wouldn't be too surprised to learn that he's been given a staff position.

The second story is that Sharon Shoesmith has been seeking a judicial review of her sacking as the head of children services at Haringey council. Ms Shoesmith was dismissed for her post without compensation in the wake of the Baby P case a move which she claims was illegal as it was the result of a media witch-hunt. I think I have made my position on the Baby P case and those involved in it perfectly clear. However I think I should point out that Sharon Shoesmith held a senior position in Haringey's children's services department at the time of the Victoria Climbe's death in 2000 and during the ensuing investigation earned a reputation with the Brits for being difficult although judging by the way they behave that could means she wasn't being evil enough. As a result when the Baby P case broke I heard a strong rumour that the Brits would be more then happy to see Ms Shoesmith's career ended by the scandal and that this thirst for vengeance could well have been a contributing factor in the decision to stage the murder in Haringey. That should not be seen as me speaking in Ms Shoesmith's defence but it is a warning that if you think all the guilty have been brought to justice when her judicial review is refused then you are being taken for a fool.

Afghanistan

While at the Conservative party conference the issue of the Afghan war is little more then a sideshow in America it is at the top of the political agenda with the Whitehouse considering a request from the army to send some 30,000 more troops to the country. This is a difficult topic to write about because publishing details of a war strategy on the Internet is generally frowned upon.

That said I think it is a matter of common knowledge that NATO's current mission in Afghanistan is unwinnable. However if the mission is dramatically streamlined and considerably more then 30,000 US troops are deployed to lift the burden on some of the less qualified NATO allies then the current Afghan mission has a much greater chance of success then any previous Afghan mission.

Of course this raises the question of whether America is sure that it wants to win in Afghanistan. After all it was not the Taliban who carried out the Sept 11th attacks. They were carried out by Al Queda whose allegiance with the Taliban was largely manufactured by the Bush Whitehouse when it gave the Taliban an ultimatum to hand over Osama bin Laden knowing full well that they would be unable to complete a task the Americans themselves haven't managed in eight years. Meanwhile Al Queda continue to operate in Pakistan, Yemen, Iraq, Egypt, Sudan, Somalia and possibly parts of south America. To my mind that means that if America is going to spend the next decade, billions of dollars and possibly thousands of lives battling the Taliban in Afghanistan they're wasting effort fighting the wrong enemy for control of a country that doesn't even have any oil.

Conference Catchup.

I've finally managed to bring myself up to speed on goings on at the Conservative party conference. The big event yesterday (6/10) was the speech by the shadow Chancellor of the Exchequer, George Osborne. In this speech Osbourne announced that the Conservatives plan to scrap government funded child trust funds and child tax credits for families earning over £50,000. Maintain the 50% top rate of income tax. Slash the Whitehall civil service budget by 30% and cap their pensions.Freeze the pay of public sector workers earning over £18,000 (national average wage = £24,000) and raise the national retirement age by a year to 66. The idea of these policies is to reduce Britain's annual debt of £170bn by around £17bn. It also means that the Conservatives campaign slogan for the next election will be something along the lines of "Vote for Us. We'll make you work harder and pay you even less!" That makes it very hard to tell if the Conservatives are deliberately trying to alienate middle class voters in the hope they'll vote Lib Dem causing a hung parliament or if they're trying to put the most positive spin possible on the brutal realities that Britain now faces. Either way if you recently gave up smoking in hope of enjoying a long retirement you don't half look stupid right now.

The main event of today was shadow Home Secretary, Chris Grayling's speech on Law & Order. Unlike Cameron's and Osborne's speeches the BBC didn't cover this speech live instead opting to screen a double bill of the Flintstones, you know, the modern, stone-age family. Although the Conservatives will no doubt take this as an insult the BBC were actually doing them a bit of a favour. Prepared months in advance the main themes of Grayling's speech were all about how the Conservatives would get tough on political extremists, anti-social behaviour and binge drinking (hello there) and even the delegates looked like they were beginning to accept that idea is fast running out of steam. Theatrics aside I did pick up on one policy which hopes to cut down on alcohol fuelled crime by increasing the cost of a liquor licence for businesses trading in designated problem areas. The obvious problem with this is that by increasing a businesses overheads you force them to compensate by increasing their sales volume. In the pub trade increased sales volume translates as more drunk people.

Away from the conference the British state *coughs*pay frozen*coughs* have been making alot of noise about the conviction of a high profile drugs lord. Curtis Warren, who was apparently known as a cocaine king in the 1980's and 1990's, was today convicted of trying to smuggle £1million worth of cannabis into Jersey from the Netherlands. Although I've never heard of Curtis Warren I did used to know a guy who's given name was Warren who I suppose, using the strictest legal definition, could be described as a cannabis dealer. Therefore the story appears to be an attempt to promote discussion of this Warren character by scaring me and other people who know of him into thinking that he's just been sent to prison. While I haven't been in contact with him for quite some time I think that this prospect is very unlikely to be true because I haven't heard anything. The coverage of the trial has also given the Serious Organised Crime Agency (SOCA/ FBI Lite) lots of airtime to boast about how they used wiretaps and covert surveillance to crack the case and warn those who are involved in organised crime that even if they don't notice it SOCA are always watching them. I hope that is true because if I'm not under at least SOCA level surveillance I'll be forced to take it as an affront to my ego.

Domestically it has been alleged that, in a material breech of patient confidentiality, the Croydon mental health team today telephoned my father to inform him that they are sending out a letter offering me an appointment for CBT*. Obviously I can't confirm this but if it is true and such a letter does arrive I think we can all guess what my answer's going to be. Today we've also been having a little bit of a drama because my grandmother's bankcard and a quantity of cash has gone missing. She thinks they were stolen by the man she saw in her living room at around 05:00. My father thinks she's hallucinating because of her senility. I think that it's a situation that will have to be resolved. Incidentally the police have still not been in touch over August's burglary so that looks like it's going to have to end with a fine far exceeding level 5 on the standard scale.

*I should clarify that the psychiatric symptoms that the Brits are desperate for me to be cured of are that I don't think they're particularly competent nor do I think they're particularly trustworthy. Against the current backdrop I'm sorely tempted to go for it just to see if I can make a psychiatrist cry.

I've Got a New Mobile Phone

I acquired it this afternoon. Following the principle that in my world a simple weekly food shop takes three hours getting this damn phone took five and a half. As a result I've not had the chance to see a single thing that's happened in conference land or the world outside the Whitgift shopping centre. However it turns out that mobile phone technology has moved on slightly since I brought my last one with the yellow and black screen so I won't be expecting to bring the new handset online until Saturday or Sunday at thee earliest. In the meantime please feel free to place your bets on what will become of my new Sony Ericssons;

A. Hacked to death by the spooks.

B. Stolen by my thieving neighbours

C. Broken by me being a fat handed twat.

I Feel Sorry For the Tories.

The Conservative party conference has begun today in Manchester UK and although the party is going to form the next British government and the next general election is to be a mere formality I can't help but feel a bit sorry for the poor lads. You see the issue of Europe has long divided the party between those who vehemently oppose it and those who accept it as a pragmatic reality. Therefore I can't help but think that Ireland's yest vote to the European constitution was timed to coincide with the start of the conference in order to divide the party and end any potential fightback before it gets started.

Secondly the agenda for the conference was formulated months in advance. This meant that the big announcement for the first day was that the Tories plan to go to war with incapacity benefit claimants and force them into work as this is the key for giving them new and happier lives. This is a carbon copy of the Labour party's Arbeit Macht Frei policy and a thinly veiled reference to me. On the plus side there is still a week of the party conference to run so that that should be more then enough time for the Tories to realise that policy needs to be filed under stuff that ain't never going to happen.

Elsewhere the British Establishment have unveiled a memorial to the Special Operations Executive, a memorial to the Paddington rail crash and published a book detailing the history of MI5. All this should have made it very difficult for me not to reminisce especially as I was meeting my mother for drinks but I think I just about managed it. As for the meeting with my mother it's a little to early to call it as either a success or a failure as my mother is not famed for making good decisions and no doubt the sisterhood will be on hand to fill her head with rocks again. That said I think it is going to be very hard for her not to notice that if she continues on her current path it will end with her, my sister and my brother living in that miserable little flat for the rest of their miserable little lives.

Tomorrow I will procuring and new mobile cellular telephone device. I feel I should give this prior warning to GCHQ because I know how they're prone to tantrum.

Well I For One Am Disapointed

Not because the Olympics have gone to Rio, after all it's a great city and key to large an emerging market. Nor am I disappointed that the police have yet to be in touch because it was always going to take a long time for any order to sink that low into the layer cake. No I'm disappointed because once again I'm in dispute with the Brits over their inability to control their troops. This is almost exactly the same as the dispute I was having with them in the spring of 2008. On that occasion they responded with lots of laughter lots of abuse and tales of how they had nothing to fear and I would come round to their power and authority eventually.

This time round they've gone awfully quiet. The best they've been able to come out with so far is mumbling some nonsense about no police officer will face disciplinary action from the IPCC over the De Menezes shooting and they couldn't even manage to say that like they meant it. I guess they've just run out of fight.

Plymouth Abuse Case.

In June 2009 British police raided a pre-school nursery in Plymouth UK after it emerged that a female employee had been sexually abusing the children in her care. After further investigation it became apparent that the woman had been using Facebook to share images of the abuse with a man in Manchester and a woman in Nottingham. There is no suggestion of any state involvement in the crime.

Although the offence occurred in the jurisdiction of Plymouth Crown court and the two other suspects lived in the jurisdiction of Manchester Crown court and Nottingham Crown court respectively the trio went on trial today in Bristol Crown court. This unusual choice of venue serves two purposes for the state;

1. It allows them to ratchet up the tension in Bristol.

2. It allows them to make a big show that will try and convince the people of Bristol, Britain and possibly the world that something is being done about the Bristol Abuse Case This is obviously completely untrue because I am aware of the people involved in the BAC and they are under observation so I will inform when any action is taken to resolve them.

Today (1/10) the news also broke of a double murder in South Croydon where it appears that a 34 year old man murdered his father and mother before being detained under the mental health act. I've seen no indication of any staging in this incident so I guess it's just further evidence of what a pathetic little town Croydon is.

I should also add that a few months ago I blogged that my grandmother had set fire to her cooker while my father and I stood outside laughing that one of our neighbours bonfire had set of their smoke alarm. This incident was a direct result of the Croydon networks practice of lighting fires as an intimidation tactic. Therefore I feel these people have now crossed a line. Under the rules of the game I am entitled to have them burnt at the stake as a punishment. I think the Brits should bear that in mind when they discuss what form of negotiated settlement will be acceptable.

Hectic Times

While the Brits have been busy embarassing themselves the world has still been turning;

On September 30th the European Union published it's report into last summers war between Georgia and Russia. The report found that the war was indisputably started by Georgia who illegally opened fire on civilian positions in South Ossetia. The report also claimed that Russia provoked the attack by preparing for war over a long period of time. I sure that was just a mis-print and what the report meant to say was that Russia, having lived alongside the deeply hostile Georgian regime for a long time, were aware that it was inevitable that violence would eventually arise and therefore had been preparing to defend themselves when the Georgians lashed out.

On October 2nd the Republic of Ireland will hold its second referendum on whether to adopt the Lisbon treaty. If they vote no again the EU Constitution will be sunk and the process of European integration will be delayed indefinitely. If they vote yes the treaty will be ratified, the federalisation of Europe will continue apace and Tony Blair should be installed as President of Europe by the end of the year. The leader of the no campaign is a business man called Declan Ganley and the leader of the yes campaign is the Irish Prime Minister, Brian Cowen. If I was able to vote I would be voting for a resounding no but I still haven't got round to sorting out my citizenship out.

Today I saw my doctor for a pretty standard appointment although he seemed to be in a bit of a bad mood. It's almost as if the local health authority is beginning to realise that it has neither money nor time to burn. Anyway my doctor updated my medical records and if you think those are confidential I should probably tell you a little story. About 8 months ago I told a psychiatrist, in the strictest confidence, that I have this anxiety about parts of my home spontaneously catching fire. Since then all the houses around me in the Croydon network have taken to lighting bonfires and BBQ's at all hours of the day and night in sort of burning horseshoe of fire that fills my home and garden with smoke. I should also point out that if the local health authority continue to make ill advised statements I won't embarrass them further by making those statements a matter of public record.

I've also been on to the police to enquire why they've still not been round to take a witness statement regarding Augusts burglary. The officer in charge of the case seems to be doing everything in his power to try and avoid me although his colleagues assure me that he'll be in touch soon. I won't be holding my breath but let it never be said that the Brits were never given the option for a peaceful resolution.