Monday 31 December 2012

2012 is No More.

It's now 2013 and I'm still here. So happy new year everyone. And f'ck you!

No if anyone needs me I'm going to be off terrifying myself by watching the Hackney weekend highlights.

01:40 on 1/1/13

Seriously Owww!

Believe it or not I'm not actually that hungover. It's just as with with shaving I've not been to the gym since before Christmas. So now all the stress, tension and fatigue that's built up in my muscles is slowly and painfully working it's way out. As a result my shoulders hurt, my neck hurts, my calf hurts and my thigh hurts. Basically everything from my ribcage down has pretty much gone on strike. My sister had surgery on the burn on her leg the other day and has been ordered to keep it immobile while it heals. I actually think there's a better chance of me following those instructions because right now my butt feels like a dead weight anchoring me to the sofa.

17:40 on 31/12/12.


Saturday 29 December 2012

New Delhi Gang Rape.

On December 16th 2012 (16/12/12) a 23 year old woman who has not been identified was raped by six men on a bus in New Delhi India. After filming the attack and severely beating her the attackers threw the woman off the moving bus. Yesterday she died of her injuries in a hospital in Singapore. Across poor nations violence, especially sexual violence against women is common place and it is measure of how developed a society is whether or not it is prepared to tolerate this and protect the perpetrators. As Indian society has developed economically and socially it's people are becoming less and less prepared to tolerate this type of thing. The New Delhi attack has become the lighting rod for this wider shift within Indian society. Therefore I've been actively ignoring the story up until now because all I've seen is normal people behaving naturally and I think it is something Indian society needs to work out for itself without my interference.

However in order to cope with the mass demonstrations and riots in which police officers have been killed which the attack provoked the Indian government has been attempting to present the story as it's response to the US over the Rihanna/Chris Brown reunion. Obviously in this metaphor Rihanna is the rape victim while Brown and those who continue to protect him are the gang of rapists. This comparison has also expanded outwards to include the issue of force marriage through a similar story about an 18 year old rape victim in the Punjab who was told by police to marry her attacker and the return of Atiya Anjum-Wilkinson to the UK from neighbouring Pakistan. This bothers me primarily because it clouds a very important issue and may well confuse it to the point of derailing it completely. Secondly it is never nice to hear yourself described as the rape victim or as the rapist that everybody wants to see put to death especially when there is more then a grain of truth in the comparison. Therefore I can't help but feel this makes the situation much worse because the US themselves seem very keen to pile the pressure on Rihanna at the moment although Brown seems to be being left alone.

15:15 on 29/12/12.

Edited at around 18:05 on 29/12/12 to add: There's really things I'd rather being doing at this point. However as this now making proper news you'll be glad to know that Chris Brown has missed his flight to the Kora Awards (dubbed the 'African Grammy's') in Cote D'Ivorie. As a result the entire awards ceremony has been rescheduled to accommodate him. This along with the public appearance at the Staple's Centre on Christmas day and the arrest of the woman over a false business relationship with the Webster gunman is Brown's people arguing that a restraining order can't be re-introduced because it would have a negative effect on his career. If anything this highlights the giant chasm between Brown's people and well most everybody else. The minimum that would be expected would be the re-introduction of the restraining order. A more reasonable expectation would be 3-5 years in prison and there are plenty of people who would happily just see him killed. Politics aside though it must be said that if the LA courts are seriously considering putting the offenders desire to make money over their duty to protect the victim something has gone very badly wrong. 

Friday 28 December 2012

Hayley Atwell's Boobs.

There is absolutely no way I can tell this story without sounding like a pervert. However I've been waiting to tell it for ages so here goes;

Back in 2010 Tony and Ridley Scott co-produced a mini-series entitled "The Pillars of the Earth" along with Canadian and German (EU) money. So amazing was this mini-series which poured so much money into Hungary that it became an instant classic with all those summit people who spend far too much time on aeroplanes. So much so that it was clearly referenced in at least one agreement between the IMF (pre-Lagarde) and the EU at one of those many summits about the Eurozone crisis and was recentlely re-referenced in the run-up to the COP18/CMP8. The pillars of the title represented the multi-polar foundations on which western society is built. For example Matthew Macfadyen's monk represented religon, Ian McShane's Cardinal represented politics and the several Kings and Queens represented Monarchy. Hayley Atwell's character represented love/lust as represented by her two suitors Jack and Alfred.  In order to explore this juxtaposition between love and lust the series required many scenes in which either Jack or Alfred would spy on Atwell's character as she swum naked in a lake, took a bath, changed clothes etc. In a series that featured a lot of violence and a lot of nudity (you really must watch it) you would have expected Atwell's breasts and or genitals be to shown on camera. If that had happened you would probably not have noticed. However every time the occasion arose the scene was edited in such a way as to draw more attention to the edit then to the story. As this carried on throughout the eight episodes this became more and more of an issue leading to lots of speculation about things like how much of a 'difficult' actress Atwell must be to appear in a series in which sex, violence and nudity play such a big part but refuse to appear naked on camera. Then in the final episode Atwell's character featured in a full on sex scene with I think Jack and all was revealed so to speak. After so much suspense I - along with probably most male viewers - went; "I'm definitely going to look!" Then the sharp edit re-appeared and cut straight to the aftermath of a 12 year old girl being raped. This perfectly drew that long discussed comparison between straight male sexuality and paedophilia and remains as one of the greatest "F'ck you's!" I've seen from a filmmaker to his audience in years.

Tonight I've mainly been watching a two part (very) mini-series from the BBC entitled "Restless." It actually features a mother in 1970's Britain telling her adult daughter about her experiences in the second world war through a series of flashbacks. However as I'm quite drunk for the sake of simplicity I will simply focus on the 1940's period. Here Atwell plays the mother as she is recruited to spy for Britain during the second world war. After being recruited to work for some unnamed spy agency that plants made-up stories in the news media across the world Atwell's character proceeds to sleep with her boss, be sent to sseduce a White House aide in order to blackmail him by arranging for the pair of them to be photographed in bed before finally being asked to strip naked by a Mexican police officer with Nazi sympathies. As a result you would have expected Hayley Atwell's boobs to feature heavily and having seen them I can assure they always do although sadly on this occasion only constrained by a good cloth. Therefore I thought a good narrative for this adaptation would be the actual actress Hayley Atwell's journey through Hollywood after "The Pillars of the Earth" came out. Sadly the BBC weren't allowed into Hollywood so were forced to shoot the majority of the show in South Africa. As result they just sort of panicked and chucked everything at it from that film Romala Garai did about the second world war that heavily influenced the first season of "The Hour," "Any Human Heart," "Homeland," "The Sweeney (film)," "Layer Cake" the UK rapper "Plan B." To be honest I sort of wandered off when Atwell's character was sitting the 'London' pub with Lilly Allen's little brother Alfie talking about them all getting rolled up.

So in summary if an online game called "Good TV Bingo" suddenly appears I definitely want a cut of the takings.

01:45 on 29/12/12.

So Nearly a Fightback Against Rwanda.

Overnight the United States has closed it's Embassy and withdrawn all of it's diplomatic staff from Bangui the capital of the Central African Republic (CAR) ahead of an assault by the Seleka rebel coalition who are fighting the French backed government of Francios Bozize. However the French appear to have agreed that government will fall. As always with this type of conflict it is being driven by grubby little local warlords fighting for control of mineral resources such as diamonds, gold and uranium. However what seems to have triggered the latest round of fighting is the failure of a United Nations Peacebuilding Commission (UNPBC) program that should have seen the government pay rebel fighters to lay down their arms and demobilise. This is based almost entirely on how the Nigerian government brought an end to the conflict with the Movement for the Emancipation of the Niger Delta (MEND). So by making this a toxic issue by sending Chris Brown to Nigeria the US have been blocking peace efforts in order to allow the Seleka rebels to continue their advance.

Although a coalition the majority of the Seleka rebels is made up of the Union of Democratic Forces for Unity (UDFR) who were allied with  Jean-Pierre Bemba's Movement for the Liberation of Congo (MLC) during the 2001 coup attempt and subsequent bush war. While I can't begin to unpick the various conflicts that have ravaged the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC) the MLC's stronghold is in the north west of the country and it's fighters have remained loyal to the government of Jospeh Kabila against the advance from the east of the M23 rebels who are backed Rwanda and by extension the UK. So by aiding the overthrow of the CAR government the US appears to be attempting to secure it's mineral smuggling routes out of the north of the DRC in order to counterbalance the mineral smuggling routes that the UK has been busy securing out of the east of the DRC through Rwanda. You've got to admit it's a bit of a smart move by the US but personally I would have preferred to hold on to Libya, Mali and Egypt instead.

Of course the prospect of another proxy-war opening up in the DRC doesn't bode well for the DRC but with an estimated 4 rapes a minute taking place it's hard to imagine how the situation can get worse.

12:55 on 28/12/12.

Edited at around 15:30 on 28/12/12 to add: I really should wake up properly and check the news before going off on one like that.

Anyway today is the day that Britain's National Archive releases government documents that had been kept as official state secrets under something known as the 30 year rule. This happens every year and is normally quite dull. However 30 years ago it was 1982 and Britain was fighting the Falklands war so obviously a lot of the documents have been about that. A lot of the focus has been on how Britain's intelligence services apparently had very little warning that the Argentineans were going to invade and how the conflict caused extreme diplomatic tensions between the UK and it's NATO ally France over the supply of French Exocet missiles to Argentina.

So it appears that Britain had such advance knowledge of what is going on in CAR that they've been able to prepare a special something to convince every one they're jolly angry about it. They're not though because one consequence of the Seleka victory could be a strengthened UDFR restarting their conflict with Kabila's government creating a distraction allowing the M23 to take control of greater swathes of the mineral rich east.

Thursday 27 December 2012

Fireworks in Lagos.

Days after Chris Brown visited the city as part of his tour a fire started in a warehouse storing fireworks yesterday tore through the Jankara neighbourhood of Lagos, Nigeria killing one and injuring thirty. This was obviously reminiscent of the damage done in Breezy Point, New York state during Superstorm Sandy which was of course referenced in the killing of firefighters in Webster, New York state. As I've mentioned the purpose of the US sending Brown to Nigeria was to put pressure on the Nigerian government specifically through the possible threat to his safety presented by primarily the Islamist terror group Boko Haram. In itself this was a very stupid move by the US because even if you're trying to destabilise a resource rich nation through an armed insurgency the idea is to get them to fight each other not you. However with the Nigerian government knowing this well in advance in agreeing to allow the visit to go ahead there seemed to a large element of the Nigerians going; "We'd rather take the hit then see Brown reunite with Rihanna."

Unfortunately Brown and Rihanna did very publicly reunite at a televised basketball game at the Staples Centre (where the Grammys will be held) in Los Angles on Christmas day (25/12/12). Although far better then crushing Barbados between the US and the UK Commonwealth this did make the US the centre of attention at a quiet time of the year by making it look like they had some really cool secrets. This was not helped by Rihanna sending out such strong signals it looked like provocation and appearing to have a massive argument with her friend Melissa Forde on Twitter over the Brown issue. Therefore the Lagos fire seems to be Nigeria criticising the US for not keeping up their part of the bargain and instead trying to inflict fireworks on the world. This was underlined by the fact the Nigerian government has been considering banning the sale and use of fireworks due to the threat presented by Boko Haram because it can be hard to tell if a loud bang is a firework or a terrorist bomb. The US response to the Lagos fire was the sudden and suspicious worsening of former President George H Bush's condition which has seen him admitted to intensive care. His 'raging fever' is supposed to represent the delirium the people running the Brown/Rihanna reunion must be suffering from. This an attempt to draw the world in by making it look like there's some internal dispute between the Republican and Democrat factions within the US establishment which is preventing an arrest warrant being issued for Brown for breaching the terms of his probation and setting off multiple red flags through his conduct. It is of course also an enquiry to South Africa as to whether Nelson Mandela's medical problems are a reference to the Brown situation because well they did rather coincide.

While I'm here I should point out that the Brown/Rihanna thing does demonstrate one of the the fundamental problems with  Obama's Presidency in microcosm. I think it's well established that Obama is something of a ditherer often unable to make tough decisions. This all stems from his time as a law professor which encourages people to think that if an argument around a decision can be continued indefinitely you can avoid making the decision. This is a major flaw in a President but rather then facing up to it Obama is passive aggressively transferring this on to his 'kill list' of Islamic terrorists because there seems no tougher decision then to kill a man using an unmanned drone. So when a lot of people outside of the US talk about the controversy of Obama's drone program they're actually mocking Obama. However I'm not sure if the writers of Homeland were aware to this.

11:35 on 27/12/12.

Edited at around 15:24 on 27/12/12 to add: Due to high levels of illiteracy Egyptian voters who wished to reject the constitution were asked to vote "Brown" at the referendum. Needless to say the constitution was adopted by around 65% of the vote pushing Egypt further out of the US' sphere of influence and further into the Gulf Co-operation Council's (GCC). Therefore I think someone's handlers should be spending the rest of their festive break writing a very long essay entitled; "We though this was a good idea because..."

Tuesday 25 December 2012

Fuck Me That Was Elaborate.

At around 08:50GMT yesterday (25/12/12) there was a multiple vehicle accident on the I-40 in Oklahoma, USA. Although reminiscent of the UK's Environmental Science Club motorway pile-up of November 2011 there were no fatalities. Shortly afterwards my mother's wife received a telephone call from one of her legal circle who happens to be the duty Coroner for the Isle of Wight/South Hampshire, UK saying something along the lines of; "I have terrible news, I'll tell you tomorrow."  Then at around 10:00 there was a fatal road accident on the B3349 in which a husband and wife were killed near Basingstoke in Hampshire. However nobody really noticed this because everybody was hopelessly focused on what was actually a very small car crash on the M6 near Stoke-on-Trent at around 11:25. Although this was just one family car crashing and overturning the authorities felt the need to close the M6 motorway in both directions between junctions 14 and 15 so they could bring in multiple air ambulances to attempt to save the family. They partially failed because the mother and her two sons (4&6) died while the father and a mother-in-law remain in hospital.

In the south of England alone there have also been fatal road accidents in Oxford, Dorset and Suffolk. So you know how I was saying you've been drinking all day but can't feel the effects well;

You are still too drunk to drive.

00:50 on 26/12/12.

Ah Christmas - Truly a Magical Time of the Year.

It's the one day you can have a double scotch for breakfast and drink steadily for the next 18-20 hours but never feel the effects because you've been stuffing your face with turkey, bacon and ham. I can't understand why our Jewish and Muslim friends never really got into it.

Anyway with my grandmother dying we thought it might be an appropriate time for my father to rejoin his ex-wife and her new wife for the day so we were all aspiring to boredom. In the end my father opted to entertain himself so my family had a very quiet day. Well between the funerals, house moves, the Olympics, the outbreaks of dysentery and the chemical burns it was more like five stunned people sitting around going; "December 25th already, are you sure?!?" As a result the genuine highlight of the day was BBC1's flagship "Doctor Who" Christmas special which will be broadcast across the globe and discussed extensively on the Internet. Fortunately it was infinitely better then last year and as I try to explain it see if you can work out why.

Set in Victorian times the story centred an alien force known as 'The intelligence" which on earth manifested itself as a type of sentient snow which could talk but was controlled by people's emotions. Without spoiling the story too much older gay men who have relationships with much younger men/boys took quite the bashing while more age appropriate lesbian relationships got a big thumbs up. After all the line "I'm a lizard woman from the dawn of time and this is my wife." has got to go down in television history.

Also some gifts were given and received but I'll get onto that later. Now where did I put the brandy?


23:25 on 25/12/12.

Monday 24 December 2012

This Actually Kept me up at Night.

Well that and I think the universe is conspiring to make sure I experience that heady mix of sleep deprivation, paranoia and stress without which Christmas just wouldn't feel like Christmas.

Anyway  last night the final episode of the second season of "Homeland" was broadcast in the UK just a week after it was shown in the US. While I don't want to spoil it for anyone this provoked a lot of controversy on Twitter over a scene in which the Saul character stood over a dead body and said something in a foreign language. He was actually saying the Kaddish which is a Hebrew prayer for the dead similar to the Catholic last rites. However a lot of people mistook this for Arabic and speculated that Saul might actually be one of the terrorists. I think there's a good chance this was done on purpose because there's been a lot of controversy at an inter-governmental level of Homeland's use of Arabic and it's portrayal of Arabs. In much the same way you get British English, US English and Australian English you get different versions of Arabic. The version used in Homeland is actually Israeli Arabic and well some of it's just nonsense. This has led to some people speculating that the writers are trying to make a connection between Israeli Zionism and Palestinian terrorism. However I think it's simply that the Arabic adviser the show uses is a guy called Gideon Raff who wrote the "Prisoners of War" show on which Homeland is based. Raff is an Israeli so obviously he speaks Israeli Arabic. Other problems with Homeland include the fact that no matter how many times they show characters in Muslim prayer I don't think one of them has got it right yet and the fact that the name of the central terrorist character "Abu Nazir" actually means "the father or Nazir." The biggest controversy though is over the name of Nazir's son "Isa." Although to a US audience this is quite a good joke about Darrell Issa the chair of the House Oversight Committee Isa actually means Jesus in Arabic which is hardly the first name an Islamic extremist would chose for their child.

All these little niggles come together to mean that while a western audience are watching a taut political thriller to Arab audiences it does take on the air of a Carry On film style farce. Some - particularly Gulf Co-Operation Council (GCC) nations - have used this to suggest that the show is deliberately mocking Muslims and Arabs. This suggestion is being made in an attempt to drive a wedge between the US and the so-called "Arab Street" in order to isolate the US in the region - particularly in the Israeli/Palestinian peace process.

So yeah I think season three's going to be fun.


10:10 on 24/12/12.

Edited at around 16:30 on 24/12/12 to add: As no other bugger is stopping it seems my Christmas message is going to be me just blathering on about Homeland.

Thinking about it with the Walden character representing Romney/the Protestant Republican Party having them as the people who killed Isa could be a little swipe at the implicit anti-Semitism within Protestant Zionism. The common excuse always being that the Jews killed Jesus. And to think people say Christmas has lost it's religious dimension. Similarly the Abu Nazir name seems to be a little hint to a western media who keep referring to terrorists such as Abu Hamza. That is of course a pseudonym roughly meaning "Father of the Provocation." Abu Nazir roughly translates as "Father of the Beautiful Observer" which sounds like a joke at the viewer's expense. I've actually noticed that since Homeland has started US media outlets have started referring to the Abu Hamza with the hooks for hands as Abu Hamza al-Masri in order to differentiate him from the 15 or so other Islamic terrorists who all use the same pseudonym.

Also while I don't want to spoil it in the finale of Homeland there was a blink and you'll miss it reference to a truly awful UK/US co-production called "Secret State." This is only worth mentioning because it was the collaboration on this series which allowed the US and the UK to dream up the investigation into the natural gas wholesale market that tried and failed to force it's way on to the COP18/CMP8 agenda.

So in summary much like House while it contains many glaring errors Homeland remains one of the best things on TV. For example Clare Danes was actually heavily pregnant throughout the second series but it was so well covered no-one seemed to notice.

Saturday 22 December 2012

That Didn't Get Commissioned Then.

In what surely marks the start of my Christmas hibernation today I've mostly been watching Frankie Boyle's "Last Days of Sodom" DVD. As usual this pretty much made me weep with laughter and helped convince me - for a short time at least - that I'm a well adjusted member of a civilised society. The DVD extra was really good though because it was an unbroadcast pilot for a possible show for Channel 4. Entitled "Frankie Boyle's Rehabilitation Programme" it was meant to be an attempt to get the comic back on main stream TV after his previous attempt caused some issues with the broadcast regulator. The premise was basically that Boyle would make a controversial statement and a guest would come on to argue the point with him. If the guest won the argument they would be rewarded with a Jim'll Fix It style badge saying "I proved Frankie Boyle wrong." One of the main topics discussed in the pilot was; "Having children makes you happy." This basically involved getting a nine year old boy to sit on stage in headphones while Boyle and another comedian Jack Whitehall made jokes about shagging his mum. Needless to say the pilot did not get commissioned for a full series.

As this was all been filmed right at the end of 2011 you can't escape the feeling that Channel 4 made the whole thing up just to have a swipe at the BBC over their celebration of Jimmy Savile Christmas schedule.

22:50 on 22/12/12.

Friday 21 December 2012

What a Waste of Council Tax.

As the conference of the governing African National Congess (ANC) has drawn to a close the South African leg of Chris Brown's tour has also ended. Unlike the European leg and Rihanna's associated 777 tour which were intended to generally increase levels of annoyance and irritation during the COP18/CMP8 by making it look like certain nations were being gifted with details of Rihanna's private life the South African leg had a much more specific purpose.

The replacement within the COP/CMP process for the Ad-Hoc Working Group on the Kyoto Protocol (AWG-KP) and the Ad-Hoc Working Group on Long-Term Co-operative Action (AWG-LCA) is something called the Ad-Hoc Working Group on the Durban Platform for Enhanced Action (ADP) which was obviously created in Durban during the COP17/CMP7. As a result South Africa are very proud of this and key players in it's formation. The intention was that questions about Brown's safety and security in South Africa would put pressure on the South African delegation delaying progress on the ADP. The question over the safety and security of visitors/holiday makers automatically brings up the Ani Dewani murder case. Ani Dewani was a Indian/Swedish dual national who was murdered in Cape Town, South Africa in November 2010 whilst on honeymoon and since then the South African authorities have been very keen to extradite her husband Shrien Dewani - a British/Indian dual national - from Britain to stand trail for her murder. Although I don't think the Dewani murder was anything other then a private enterprise it did take place just before the COP16/CMP6 summit in Mexico and since then Britain have been doing everything in it's power to prevent Shrien's extradition in order to put pressure on South Africa. Just for added confusion the Swedish link also bring in the Julian Assange case and the Indian link brings in the death of Savita Halappanavar in Ireland which itself brings in the issue of Rihanna's alleged pregnancy that marred the second US Presidential debate.

As a lot of people are now thinking that Brown's not worth the price of the bullets to kill by the time he actually arrived in South Africa there were precisely zero threats to his safety and security so Brown himself had to make some up. Primarily this involved him creating a bit of drama at a shopping mall in Durban that's shown in this video; http://vimeo.com/55728748 Basically it shows Brown walking through the shopping mall surrounded by security and team members filming him essentially holding a giant neon sign over his head reading; "I'm a celebrity look at me!" in order to provoke a reaction. At first no-one actually seemed that bothered but members of Brown's team had made sure there were a group of his fans (basically teenage girls) corralled together ready to burst into hysteria as he walked past. As it often does this hysteria rapidly spread drawing out shoppers and shop workers to join in creating what local security and police might have considered a bit of an issue. The following day Brown used Twitter to post a photograph from one of his fans showing two baseball caps from Brown's "Black Pyramid" clothing line. To most people this just looked like Brown sharing with the world that one of his fans was excited about their new clothes. However for someone like me who has spent far to long around English football crowds this would remind you of the "What a waste of council tax!" chant; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCXHbCYvzjI Basically if the police patrol infront of a football crowd as they often do if it's a boring bit of the game the crowd will chant "What a waste of council tax. We paid for your boots. We paid for your coats. We paid for your hats." before chanting "Two hats! Two hats" over and over again. Due to the English accent and the noise of the crowd this sounds like they're calling the police "Twats" but they're not because that would be swearing and that would be illegal. 

The idea of these two events was to promote discussion about public order policing of protests/riots. With many South Africans becoming more and more angry that the end of apartheid has not brought about a noticeable improvement in their standard of living protests/riots are becoming more and more of an issue as shown by the Marikana mine shootings and the protests that took place during the ANC conference. Within the ANC there are primarily two main factions with very different views on protest/riot. In one camp there is the somewhat authoritarian ANC leader Jacob Zuma who would be very happy to pick up tips on silencing protest. In the other camp there is former Youth wing leader Julius Malema who has taken a leaf out of Robert Mugabe's book by getting supporters to take to the streets in riot and occasionally attack white owned farms. Malema's camp would be very much angered by the sight of the Zuma camp picking up tips on how to silence protest. The idea was to enrage these two camps in order to get them at each others throats making the ANC conference an even more tense and aggressive affair then it was. It was around Wednesday (19/12/12) that Brown's handlers worked out that this course of action would also have a negative effect on US interests in the middle-east.

Brown is now apparently heading off to a concert in Lagos, Nigeria. Although a major oil producing nation Nigeria has long suffered with unrest and poverty. This mainly stems from the fact that successive Nigerian governments have basically been chosen by and run for the interests of western oil companies such as Royal Dutch Shell and BP. Under President Goodluck Jonathan this is slowly starting to look like it is changing. Therefore the US obviously want to use Brown to put pressure on the Nigerian government to see how this is changing. The only problem is that this level of interference is likely to derail that process strengthening  the influence of non-US oil multi-nationals or drive the new Nigerian government closer towards the Chinese. With groups like Boko Haram and veterans of MEND knocking around there are more then enough violent and connected people to threaten Brown's safety and security in Nigeria. However as with South Africa there seem to have been no threats. Therefore the US is trying to use the issue of Brown's punishment for the 2009 beating of Rihanna. They laid the groundwork here through the Jessica Tata trial. Tata is a Nigeria/US dual national who caused the deaths of four children at her daycare centre before fleeing to Nigeria only to be extradited back to the US. To help or hinder Canada is currently in the grips of a custody dispute over the Ikea monkey.

For his part Brown is also trying to raise the tension by speculating that his relationship with Rihanna is back on. This included posting and then deleting a photograph showing them together that was actually taken last week in I think Paris. This of course was also intended to trick Rihanna into taking him back by playing on the loneliness she must be feeling as she takes a holiday in Barbados which she originally had intended to share with Brown. For her part Rihanna is sometimes making it look like the relationship might be back on and at others making it look like the relationship is definitely over. Sadly I think this is just her being genuine and really serves to underline why I'm really not happy about the way this has played out because relationship break ups always hurt and are rough enough on the people involved without them having to consider the wider geo-political implications.

20:40 on 21/12/12.

Thursday 20 December 2012

Yeah There's the Festive Feeling.

Woke up late and went into town to do some Christmas shopping. Stopped off in the pub at lunch time. Did some Christmas shopping. Went back to the pub. So while I'm not seeing much in the way of work being done before Saturday I just thought I'd share with you the fact I'm still alive.

20:30 on 20/12/12.

Wednesday 19 December 2012

Plebgate's Back

You may remember that about three months ago the former UK Secretary of State for International Development and then Conservative Party Chief Whip Andrew Mitchell was forced to resign the Whip post after it was alleged in the press that he'd sworn at police officers guarding Downing Street and called them "plebs" after they refused to let him ride his bicycle through the vehicle gates. The police officer who claimed to have witnessed this has since been arrested for misconduct in a public office and CCTV footage has been released showing the police officer was not present at the time of the incident. The suggestion being that the police officer made up in the story in order to force Mitchell's resignation as a protest against government cuts to police budgets.

Coming as a report into the BBC's mishandling of the Jimmy Saville case is released there is an attempt to dress the latest development in the plebgate story as another instalment in the argument into press ethics encompassed by the Leveson Inquiry. There is also a further attempt to disguise it as a debate into the UK's international aid spending with specific reference to India and Rwanda. In reality though it's about Egypt which is currently halfway through it's plebiscite vote on it's constitution. Although a strike by judges in protest against the constitution  means that this referendum will now not be completed until Saturday (22/12/12) unless there is a big surge in no votes the referendum will most likely be adopted. As the the constitution will block Egypt receiving IMF loans worsening Egypt's economic situation combined with it's controversial nature this could well provoke a second Egyptian revolution. In those circumstances the loyalty of Egypt's security forces (police & military) will be key to Morsi's survival. The UK want him to survive because with the constitution locking Egypt out of the global economy it's economic problems will make it very dependent on aid from Gulf nations such as Qatar boosting Qatar's growing influence across the middle east. The UK's help will go a long way to ensuring the supply of Qatari gas.

On a somewhat related note the report into the September 11th 2012 (11/9/12) on the US consulate in Benghazi was released yesterday. The primary finding that the security plan was not sufficient but because no-one wants to get into the wider tactical reasons of why the US was keeping a small security footprint this is being dressed as discussion of the Rihanna/Chris Brown thing. That's quite a flawed discussion because the thing that annoyed me about that was it was so weak you got the impression the person who planned it wanted it to fail. The other main finding of the Benghazi report was that neither the para-Olympic closing ceremony nor the wide distribution of the "Innocence of Muslims" trailer provoked protests to mask the assault on the consulate. As a result it was clear what had actually happened and the group responsible for the attack were quickly eliminated. So I'm inclined to say the US really needs to make a gesture before all the people who've been carrying them for four years become disillusioned. After all it's no accident January's inauguration will be funded by corporate sponsorship rather then exhausted donors.

14:00 on 19/12/12

Tuesday 18 December 2012

Holy Hell This Time Next Week it'll be Christmas Day.

And there was me just coming to terms with it being December. Do you think it's a good time to break the news to my relatives that this year they're probably only going to get money for presents?

Yep it's Tuesday night and I'm back from the pub.

20:00 on 18/12/12.

Feinstein's Assault Weapons Ban

In the wake of the Newtown massacre the US media in particular seems to have become fixated on the Bushmaster/AR-15 rifle that was one of three firearms used in the attack. Senator Dianne Feinstein in particular has promised to introduce a bill banning this type of weapon into both houses of Congress on January 8th 2013 (8/1/13).

The only problem is that this type of ban would have done very little to prevent the events at Sandy Hook elementary school where all the killings were carried out at close range within the confined space of a building. In those circumstances the long range accuracy of the weapon used is much less of an issue then the shooters ability to quickly select new targets and sweep through doorways and stairwells so generally the shorter the weapon the more effective the weapon. The only reason that SWAT and military assault teams use weapons like the AR-15 or more commonly the MP-5 is because they are fully automatic and therefore provide a very high rate of fire. The Bushmaster used at Newtown along all other similar type weapons on the civilian market was not fully automatic and therefore does not offer that high rate of fire. In fact members of some of the better trained assault teams are taught to use their main AR-15 type weapon when clearing open areas like courtyards before switching to their sidearm to clear confined spaces like rooms. So while I don't really want to start writing a how to guide for carrying out more effective school massacres Lanza would have probably been better off leaving the AR-15 at home and just using the handguns. There is also evidence for China's true epidemic (4 a week at one point) of mass killings that if the person planning the attack doubts the killing power of the weapon they intend to use they will simply switch from targeting places like shopping malls which are filled with adults to attacking softer targets such as schools and nurseries.

The reason why the Senator for California and the Chair of the Intelligence Select Committee is pushing for discussion about an assault weapon ban is so it can be used as a metaphor for the Chris Brown/Rihanna/me thing. Outside of the US the 'assault weapon' is supposed to be Chris Brown's tour which the South Africans have compared to a failed fascist bomb plot to kill the ANC leadership. Within the US the 'assault weapon' is my quite clear warning that any attempt to use Brown or more specifically his relationship with Rihanna as a diplomatic tool is something I will use to do damage to their handlers. The fact that the US is using a massacre as a way to describe it's performance at the COP18/CMP8 demonstrates that I most certainly have the capabilities to do this.

However that said if I really wanted to damage the US over the matter I would be pushing for it to be discussed at the highest levels - say by introducing a bill banning assault weapons - to Congress when Congress really should be focusing on the fiscal cliff.

17:00 on 18/12/12.

Neon Roberts Verdict Reached.

Throughout the COP18/CMP8 Britain has been putting on a Court of Protection (COP) case regarding Neon Roberts a 7 year old boy from Brighton. Having been diagnosed with a brain tumour doctors recommend that Neon undergoes brain surgery followed by radiotherapy. His father supported this treatment while his mother was opposed. The case was heard by two COP Judges - Mr Justice Bodey who refused to hear my grandmother's case and Mrs Hogg who heard my grandmother's case and made the errant ruling. As the case can be interpreted in an almost infinite number of ways this was clearly Britain trying to coax the world into thinking there was some kind of coded discussion about my case going on.

Today Mr Justice Bodey has ruled that the surgery can go ahead while the issue of the radiotherapy remains outstanding. Obviously this can mean anything and most likely means nothing. However big supporters of the Bristol Abuse Case (BAC) were my 'Brighton mothers' (read as Lesbians) so I'm interpreting this ruling to mean that the operation to bring the BAC to an end must go ahead. There is little need for the BAC victims to be alarmed though because untangling a 6 year operation is going to be a long and complicated process. The first step of this process is the arrest and successful prosecution of Mrs Hogg et al on charges of murder, conspiracy to murder, perverting the course of justice and crimes against humanity. The next step is stripping the Whitgift Estate of any and all assets in order for them to be transferred to me as compensation. Then we can do a damage assessment of the victims of the BAC to determine whether or not at this point it may just be more humane to allow the relationship to continue only on a much larger budget.

16:00 on 18/12/12.

Monday 17 December 2012

Amy Winehouse Inquest Re-opened.

Without the consent of the family Britain has decided that it is going to re-open the Coroner's Inquest into the death of Amy Winehouse after it emerged the original Coroner was in no way qualified to carry out the Inquest. A fact most people picked up on when the orginal verdict bore no resemblance to the available evidence. You may remember that at the time of the para-Olympic closing ceremony I said that Britain was keen to have Rihanna involved so she would act as a metaphor or mirror for every girlfriend I'd ever had and I'd act as a mirror for every boyfriend she'd had. A female pop star who had been previously been used as a mirror for the Amy at the heart of the Bristol Abuse Case (BAC) was Amy Winehouse because no-one pulled any muscles there. There are actually very significant similarities between the Brown/Rihanna reunion and the way the BAC began hence the term 'mirror'. Aside from heaping extra pressure on the victims of the BAC close to Christmas Britain is re-opening the Inquest as a way to discuss with the US what went wrong with the BAC because I'm yet to hear the pitter-patter of little lesbian baby feet from Bristol and well life's never been the same for Britain since. So I have to ask again is the US really sure it wants this front and centre of it's public relations strategy?

As for Brown he has added extra tour dates so will be in South Africa as the governing African National Congress (ANC) choose their new leader before heading of to Trinidad for a concert on December 27th (27/12/12). Therefore I think it would be appropriate for the Interpol red notice to be issued during that concert in order to ensure that Brown's only further onward travel is to a US prison. It certainly makes more sense the Feinstien introducing a highly controversial gun control bill to the senate one week after the US economy falls off the fiscal cliff.


16:00 on 17/12/12.

Suddenly I Feel Quite Unwell.

You may remember that at the start of the COP18/COP8 the Department of Work and Pensions (DWP) wrote telling me that as part of my benefit claim I must fill in a questionnaire about my medical condition. As they actually bothered to include a ESA50 3/11 questionnaire I been filling it in and it must be said that writing mini-essays on your symptoms and how they affect you doesn't half make you feel ill. As most people will get hold of it anyway I may upload a copy when I've finished. In the meantime though I kind of stuck on question 17 which asks; "Does your behaviour upset other people?" Somehow I feel I should conduct some sort of survey before answering that one.

10:05 on 17/12/12.

Edited at around 20:30 on 17/12/12 to add: I have now completed that ESA503/11 form and saved a copy for my records. If I get the time and over my natural aversion to doing so tomorrow I might create a PDF and share both my private medical records and my appalling handwriting with the world wide web. In the meantime I should point out that one of the things the Brits were hoping to achieve from the Bristol Abuse Case is getting me to redesign their welfare system for free. That is why DPM Nick Clegg was today making a big noise about welfare reform as they try to gauge their level of success from that 6 year operation. It also meant that large parts of the new form were designed around answers I gave on the old form which didn't half makes things easier. Also I must now make a statement that hopefully will only make sense to a very small group of people; "The exact opposite of helping."

Saturday 15 December 2012

The Newtown Massacre.

As recently as 2010 global international politics such as the COP/CMP process has been wholly dominated by the relationship between the two global superpowers - the USA and China. However since the so-called Arab Spring and the fall of Libya in particular the Gulf Monarchy's lead by Saudi Arabia have begun to emerge as a powerful third player. Therefore I am hesitant to go into much detail on the Internet.

However I think it's well established that yesterday (14/12/12) 27 people - most of them young children - were massacred at the Sandy Hook elementary school in Newtown, Connecticut in what has been one of the worst mass shootings in US history. This was proceeded earlier in the day by a mass stabbing attack at an elementary school in Henan, China which left 22 wounded. This was a Chinese enquiry over the US' progress on significant issues that were raised in and around the COP18/CMP8 Summit. As I used the example of knife attacks in China as an argument against further gun control in the US following the Aurora shooting this further raises the authoritarian versus libertarian approach to government that crops up every time a government discusses banning something be it guns, drugs cigarettes, sugary drinks or even Internet pornography. Mainly though it was an enquiry as to the US' position on the shock and revulsion the majority of the world has expressed in response to the US' efforts to turn Rihanna into a diplomatic pawn by engineering her reunion with Chris Brown. Although most of the people involved in this debate regularly do truly horrific things to each other many still like to make the distinction between those in the business and innocent civilians. As Rihanna is just about viewed as a civilian and if anything a victim there is a general discomfort about the levels of violence being used against her amongst people who understand that using her as a pawn in this way will involve dehumanising her to the point where it would be more humane just to kill her. There is also shock that the US could be so stupid as to behave in this way to someone who is not only truly world famous but has the sort of fame that means she has millions of older brothers and cousins prepared to extract revenge on anyone who harms her.

The Newtown massacre was very much the US rejecting this criticism over it's use of violence by being so exceptionally violent that they not only massacred 18 young children but killed 27 of their own citizens. They were also trying to dismiss China's concern over the US' conduct by trying to make it look like China was simply expressing false concern as a to register it's displeasure at a range of other issues. This include things like whether the shooter broke into the school or was given permission to enter which feeds into a debate over the levels of access that people like me are given to things like COP/CMP Summits and the wider current discussions about restricting the freedom of the Internet. The shooter is said to have been diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder which is a very hot topic with the new edition of the Diagnostic Statistical Manual dropping the Asperger's Syndrome diagnosis and instead considering it as part of the broader autism spectrum. Many people have also suggested that my father suffers from a form of autism and because of that I've picked up some autistic personality traits. There will also be lots of talk about how the surviving children at the school will cope with the psychological trauma of the incident. With large numbers of service personnel returning from Afghanistan and Iraq with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) this is huge topic within the US military establishment and something they've long been trying to trick me into helping them with. There is also some debate over whether the reason I don't trust them is because I suffered some sort of childhood trauma or because I've just had years of experience dealing with them. Eventually the discussion about helping the survivors will get around to how therapists working with children often use play as a counselling method. Basically this involves giving the child something like building blocks/Lego to play with while the therapists talks to them. The idea being that the play activity keeps the analytical/practical part of the mind busy allowing the therapist to access the emotional parts of the child's mind without the child really noticing. The idea here was to promote discussion about the recording of Rihanna's new album "Unapologetic" just after the para-Olympic closing ceremony and during the time of the reunion with Brown because everyone in the business looked at that and went; "Dull and repetitive familiar activity intended to relax and build confidence - soft interrogation techniques 101." The Sandy Hook is of course a reference to the average Americans refound interest in global warming/climate change in the wake of super storm Sandy and any discussion about protecting children always seems to have a sexual element to it these days.

Apart from the actual reference to Rihanna I don't think any of these is what China was enquiring about though. Obviously there are issues that the US and China need do need to discuss with each other such as efforts to combat global warming/climate change. Another such issue is the US' proposed withdrawal from Afghanistan which is something I would have thought the US wanted to keep quite quiet at this stage. The people who arranged the Newton massacre clearly didn't though because it resulted in TV screens the world over being flooded by images of local SWAT teams carrying L129A1 'Sharpshooter' rifle. This is a weapon that is used by both US and UK troops in Afghanistan and has been the source of quite a bit of controversy. Although US troops had been using it for years when UK troops started using the weapon there was some scandal over the fact the rifle has a biblical quote on the sight mounting which was felt could be bad relations with the Afghans by making it appear western troops were Christian crusaders occupying Muslim lands. The timing of this scandal just as UK troops started using the rifle seemed to be the US suggesting that the UK couldn't be trusted to keep their weapons out of the hands of the Taliban. The L129A1 also reopened a very old argument within NATO because when the alliance was formed in the 1950's the US insisted that all members had to use the 7.62mm rifle round. Then in the 1960's the US turned round and introduced the M16 which uses the 5.56mm round and eventually everybody in NATO followed suit. The L129A1 fires the 7.62mm round and the reason it had to be introduced in Afghanistan was because it was found that the 5.56mm round lacked the range and stopping power to match the Taliban's 7.62mm AK-47's.

The US' final F*ck You! to the world from the Newtown massacre was that it actually seemed to be a direct effort to kick lumps out of Rihanna who while all this was going on was back in a recording studio recording her part in an upcoming animated film with an actor called Jim Parsons. Parson's is probably best known for playing Sheldon Cooper in the US TV show "The Big Bang Theory" in which his character displays many autistic personality traits such as adherence to a strict routine and an inability to detect sarcasm. Specific elements of the shooting story would also have particular personal resonance for Rihanna. For example this debate over whether the 20 year shooters mother was a teacher at the school or at another school sounds a lot like the story of Chris Brown's punishment for the assault on Rihanna. The then 20 year old was sentenced to do community service in a child care centre run by a friend of his mother. As this seems like an extremely soft sentence and the courts have raised questions over whether Brown actually turned up when he claims to even if Brown hadn't racked up multiple probation violations since then the courts could still jail him on the grounds he failed to complete his original sentence. This is an issue the US tried to needle Nigeria over in the run up to the COP18/CMP8 with the conviction of Jessica Tata over the deaths of four children in a fire at Houston daycare centre. Also a Glock handgun and a SIG-Sauer handgun might have been two objects that I suggested could be used to resolve the Brown issue should the US be unwilling or unable to use the judicial route.

16:45 on 15/12/12.

Edited at around 15:20 on 16/12/12 to add: I've just remembered that while I was going on about Glocks and SIG's Chris Brown was having a meltdown on Twitter after his concert in Poland. This altercation was so bad that Brown was immediately ordered off Twitter and although his account has been reactivated his tweets seem more written by his media team the Brown himself. I think a large part in the delay in Poland being announced as host from the COP19/CMP9 Summit is a significant proportion of the world using the issue as a way to bash the US over the Rihanna/Brown thing. So rather then the Rihanna/Brown thing being a code for the issues of the summit the issues of the summit appear to have become a code for the Rihanna/Brown thing. This really gives the US the deciding vote over whether or not the COP19/CMP9 will go ahead. With nations like Britain, Saudi Arabia and Qatar very opposed to the summit going ahead and equally powerful factions like the EU and the BRICS excluding Russia very keen for it to go ahead this puts the US in a very difficult position diplomatically. 

Oh and Obama will be visiting Newtown today before addressing the nation. Hopefully he will keep the fake tears to a minimum.

It Was Never my Intention to Make You Feel Guilty.

If anything the way you're prepared to take Brown back despite everything makes me proud. It shows me that you can only really see the good in people and that's a quality that I never want to see change. Anyone around you who is encouraging or allowing you to get back into that relationship should feel deeply ashamed though. Sadly I know they won't because in my world people will queue up to live your life for you. For example the studio where you recorded "Unapologetic" needs fire bombing because it's a standard police interview technique to relax someone and give them a false sense of confidence by getting them to perform a dull, familiar and repetitive task. It is also a standard police technique to chain someone to that sort of statement for the next 12-18 months on condition of a guilty plea.

I would have said this earlier but I thought it was too much to dump on someone in the middle of a working day. That and it's a bit gay for the Internet really.

11:00 on 15/12/12.

Friday 14 December 2012

As Dawn Rises Over Egypt.

The nicest thing I can say about President Morsi is that deep down he knows the Egyptian people are far too clever to approve his constitution. So instead he put out a joke document packed with talking points. For example Article 117 raises the issue of the US fiscal cliff perfectly. Article 44 was a direct snipe at Pakistan's anti-Blasphemy laws. Article 11 raises the Saudi moral police. Article 53 brings up my father and his family's chequered history because I believe his father got made in what was then Egypt's Benghazi. Articles 2&3 prompt discussion about the role of Christians and Alawite's (Islam's Jews) in a post-Assad Syria while all the stuff about the appointments of the Prime Minister, Shura Council and Cabinet talks only of the UK's 2010 General Election because nothing neuters a lower house like a Nick Clegg.

Of course in order to make that reality a truth Egyptians need to vote to reject the draft constitution.

02:30 15/12/12.

I'm on More of a Gun Porn Vibe at the Moment.

Because an intelligence agency that carries out the Newtown massacre in an area where they know local SWAT are equipped with that infamous 7.62mm rifle with the bible quotes on the sight mounting is actually trying to lose. Unfortunately "7.62mm rifle with bible quotes on the sight mounting" is too vague a search term even for Google so I'm off to the shed to hammer out another clip.

23:45 on 14/12/12.

Thursday 13 December 2012

Just a Quick Note.

I have now completed my post on Egypt's draft constitution and the full version can be read either below or on my much tidier other blog 100badones.blogspot.com

17:35 on 13/12/12.

It's Miracle! I Can See Again!

Ok possibly not a miracle but I have picked up my new glasses so I can see the world in more crisp and fine detail then I actually want to. The new frames are supposed to be flexible so should be less likely to break. Well at least until I'm in the pub and go; "No it's fine they're flexible. Punch me in the Face!"

In other news after disappearing for a couple of days Rihanna is back in the US while Chris Brown is still in Dubai. The gossip columns are full of stories about the couple breaking up after Brown reunited in Paris with his ex-girlfriend on Friday (7/12/12). Based on what I've seen this is likely to be true. However I can't shake this feeling I'm being told exactly what I want to hear and the timing of the break up at the climax of the COP18/CMP8 is enough to make anyone suspicious. Therefore the US still need to act to put an end to this because the situation means that the current reality can quite easily change and is likely to. You only need to look at the US's recognition of the Syrian opposition yesterday and Hillary Clinton's sudden bout of illness that prevented her attending the Marrakesh meeting to see that this current path will bring nothing but pain.

14:05 on 13/12/12.

Wednesday 12 December 2012

Egypt's Draft Constitution.

On Saturday (15/12/12) voters in Egypt will go to the polls in a referendum to either approve or reject the nations post-revolution constitution. The official Arabic text of the document can be viewed here; http://www.sis.gov.eg/Newvr/constitution2012.pdf and the English translation that I've been working from can be viewed here; http://www.egyptindependent.com/news/egypt-s-draft-constitution-translated

On reading the proposed constitution the first problem that becomes apparent is that large sections of it would seem more at home in the manifesto of a political party rather then in the constitutional basis for a sovereign state. For example Article 17 puts a constitutional obligation on the Egyptian state to foster small handicraft industries. This may be a very good idea and may be very popular now but in 50, 75 or 100 years the Egyptian economy may well have moved on from small handicraft industries. As a result this article will at best become redundant and at worst might actually prove damaging by forcing the government to spend a portion of money every year on something nobody wants or needs in order to fulfil the constitutional obligation. Therefore I think that this along with things like Article 58 which places an obligation on the state to extend the take up of higher education are things that an elected government should achieve through statute rather then through the constitution. A more serious example of this problem is probably Article 27 which gives workers representation (up to 50%) on the boards of public and private enterprises. One of the driving factors of the Egyptian revolution was high unemployment brought about by a sluggish economy built around outdated and discredited Communist principles. The notion of the workers being able to share in the management and profits of a private enterprise is one of those key Communist principles. So making it a constitutional obligation  is only likely to damage Egypt's economy further. That said my political background means I'm actually a big fan of things like workers co-operatives. However while I think that the state most certainly shouldn't legislate against them it shouldn't be making them compulsory and most certainly shouldn't be making them a cornerstone of national identity by including them in the constitution.

Once you delve further into the draft constitution is becomes clear that these populist articles and the noble language of the preamble have been included in a cynical attempt to get people to vote for a constitution that has a thinly veiled Islamist agenda and places a worrying amount of power in the hands of the President. For the most part that Islamist agenda is very subtle such as in the oaths of office to be taken by members of the House of Representatives, the President and the Prime Minister outlined in Articles 86, 137 and 157. These oaths all require the person taking them to swear in front of "Almighty God." With Article 219 referring to the importance of the principles of Sunni Islam it is quite clear that the Almighty God mentioned is the Sunni Muslim interpretation of god making this a difficult oath for a Christian Egyptian or even a Shia Egyptian to take. Even things like Articles 43 and 44 which guarantees freedom of religion and prohibits the insulting of religious messengers which seem fair and balanced conceal an Islamist agenda. Due to very old and restrictive Egyptian laws governing the way that Christian Churches operate far from ensuring religious freedom the inclusion of the "as regulated by law" phrase of Article 43 actually makes it much easier for the Egyptian state to persecute religious minorities. Although it doesn't say it explicitly Article 44 is clearly designed to stop people insulting the Prophet Mohamed and paves the way for something similar to Pakistan's controversial anti-blasphemy laws. In fact as an article of the constitution it actually probably goes further then Pakistan's laws. Similarly Articles 10 and 11 which place religion and morality as the basis for Egyptian society and place and obligation on the state to uphold public morality respectively seem to be paving the way for Saudi, Pakistani or Iranian style morality police who patrol the streets making sure that women adhere to strict dress codes and unmarried couples don't speak to each other.

The Islamist agenda even extends to areas you would not expect such as Article 117 which requires the national budget to achieve a balance between income and expenditure and Article 121 which prevents the Executive Authority from obtaining any sort of loan without the approval of the House of Representatives. Although Egypt's debt to GDP ratio is a bit on the high side at around 75% and the Eurozone crisis has led to national debt being unpopular the world over this seems to be an attempt to force Egypt to run it's economy in line Sharia banking principles that prevent the charges of interest on loans and generally discourages the taking out of loans all together. Again if this is an economic policy that an elected Islamist government wants to follow they should be free to. However by making it a constitutional obligation it makes things very difficult for any future government that hasn't been elected with an Islamist mandate. This article is likely to cause very immediate problems for Egypt because the nation is currently in the process of negotiating crisis loans from the International Monetary Fund (IMF) to help ease it's economic turmoil. As Egypt's House of Representatives is currently suspended Article 121 if passed will make it impossible for Egypt to take up any IMF loan.

The Islamist agenda is probably at it's most overt in Article 4 which places a obligation on the Egyptian state and by extension people to provide the Al-Azhar Mosque/University with sufficient funds to "achieve it's objectives" which appear to be advising the government on Islamic law. From a secular perspective the most alarming articles are Article 2 and Article 3. Article 2 sets out Islamic Sharia as the principle source of legislation while Article 3 sets out the principles of Christianity and Judaism for the personal status laws Egypt's Christians and Jews. In these few simple lines Egypt's constitution will, if adopted, create a two tier society with Sunni Muslims at the top and Christians and Jews in a lower class. From a secular perspective this is simply unacceptable and although it seems to have become a dirty word in Egypt Secularism does not mean Atheism. Instead it means creating a separation between religion and politics so people be they Sunni Muslims, Shia Muslims, Sufi Muslims, Salafi Muslims, Christians, Buddhists or Jews can all practise their religion (all of which worship the same God) without the interference of the state.

As with the Islamist agenda the biggest problem with the draft constitution - the sweeping powers given to the President - are shown in a number of small and subtle articles. These include Article 54 which gives Egyptian citizens the right to address public authorities under their own names. This is obviously a right that Egyptians have gained through the revolution. However the stipulation that this must be done in the name of the individual rather then in the name of a group seems like a recipe for the state building a database of known trouble makers which is the first step towards political oppression. The right to public assembly/demonstration based on notification by law guaranteed by Article 50 is a prime example of this. The provision of Article 54 means that in order to lawfully exercise their right to public demonstration the protest organisers must apply for permission under their own names rather then semi-anonymously as part of a protest group. That makes it very easy for the state's authorities to identify protest organisers in order to arrest, harass and intimidate them and you only need to look at the revolution to see how badly that can end. Another example of the state trying to suppress political dissent is Article 53 which stipulates that there can only be one trade union per profession. If there is only one trade union it makes it very easy for agents of the state to infiltrate and control the actions of that trade union. This is actually something my father did in Britain's National Union of Railwaymen (NUR) in the 1970's.

The much more significant power grabs the draft constitution gives to the President are the almost sovereign powers it grants the President over the main apparatus of state security - the police and the military. Article 146 makes the President the Supreme Commander of the armed forces and Article 147 gives him sole power to appoint and dismiss members of the military leadership. While Article 146 stipulates that the President must receive the approval of the House of Representatives to declare war or deploy the military outside of Egypt's borders there is no such requirement for military operations within Egypt's borders. This very much leaves the military as a play thing of the President which can be used against the Egyptian people - something that was a significant problem under Mubarak. A better alternative would be to make the military the property of the Egyptian people sworn to protect the constitution and the values of the revolution. It's Supreme Commander should be someone chosen by the military itself but approved by both the President and the House of Representatives. In order to declare war or deploy outside of Egypt's borders there must be triple agreement between the President, the House of Representatives and the Supreme Commander. For deployment within Egypt's borders there need only be agreement between the Supreme Commander and the President or agreement between the Supreme Commander and the House of Representatives. This would allow the Egyptian military to side with the Egyptian people against any future President who starts behaving like a dictator. The same problem exists with the police with Article 199 making the President the Supreme Chief of police. This is a recipe for a political police force. A far better alternative would be to make the police an independent body sworn to uphold the constitution and the law which selects it's own Supreme Chief with the approval of the Minister for the Interior. This would make Egypt's police force an apolitical body better able to uphold the law regardless of who may be trying to break it.

The most serious and fundamental problem with Egypt's draft constitution is the way it envisions Egypt's political system working. Having a Head of State (the President) overseeing a partially elected upper house (the Shura Council) and a fully elected lower house (the House of Representatives) Egypt seems to be modelling itself on a British style Parliamentary democracy only with an elected Head of State rather then a Monarch. In order for this system of government to work there needs to be a strong lower house led by a strong Prime Minister to protect the interests of the people and counter-balance the power of the Head of State. The semi-elected upper house is supposed to act as a buffer between the two helping to negotiate compromise. Egypt's draft constitution simply has no intention of doing any of this. Article 139 gives the President the power to appoint the Prime Minister turning the office into nothing more then the President's deputy. Article 140 makes the President responsible for all policy and leaves the Cabinet appointed by the Prime Minister as simple tools tasked with doing the President's bidding. Article 128 grants the President the power to appoint 10% (15 members) of the Shura Council. Assuming that the President's party will be represented in the elected membership of the Shura Council this 10% guarantees the President a majority on every vote turning the Shura Council into a simple rubber-stamping body. A more democratic alternative would be for the largest party/bloc in the House of Representatives to choose the Prime Minister who would then appoint the Cabinet and work with the President to shape and implement policy. The President and the Prime Minister should both be able to appoint 6% (9 members) of the Shura Council to ensure balance.

So for this very long list of quite complicated reasons I urge Egyptians to vote to reject this draft constitution and they will have to vote. As with the Presidential election the Muslim Brotherhood will mobilise their members to vote for the draft constitution in large numbers. Therefore the opposition must vote in equally large numbers to stop them and prevent the constitution being adopted.

17:20 on 13/12/12.

It's Warmed Up. I've Remembered my Point.

As you may have noticed from my Twitter feed last night I had more to say. Unfortunately the cold left my brain unable to form coherent sentences and my fingers unable to type them up. Anyway now I've warmed (and sobered) up I've remembered what it was.

After saying that pretty much everything in global politics at the moment has a Rihanna angle to it I then went and did a big post about Egypt and Northern Ireland without mentioning her once. Far from being because there isn't a Rihanna angle Egypt sort of represents the Rihanna mother load with you able to choose from things like the "Run This Town" video, her Isis tattoo and the regional trouble that followed the para-Olympic closing ceremony. Personally though I'm going with the fact that the result of the Egypt Presidential election was declared on June 24th 2012. This was also the day that Rihanna was headlining the BBC Radio 1's One Big Weekend festival in Hackney and I was watching the Euro2012 finals in Brighton going; "I don't care we're not driving up to Hackney and trying to blag our way in!" Unbeknown to me at the time that Radio 1 and Rihanna's people were negotiating whether the performance would go ahead I popped up and started explaining that of all the August 2011 riots the Hackney riot was probably the most easy to justify because unlike riots in other areas that focused on looting and property destruction the Hackney riot focused on attacking the police which is a more sensible response to the police killing someone. Then all of a sudden the Hackney performance was agreed. This discussion was revisited in the first week of the COP18/CMP8 when Rihanna agreed to headline the 2013 T in the Park music festival in Scotland shortly after I used a #welcometoscotland hashtag on Twitter. The idea was to promote discussion about whether Rihanna simply agrees to bookings based on stuff I say when I'm drunk. As a "Welcome to Scotland" is a quote from the James Bond film "Skyfall" which at that point I hadn't seen this was also supposed to raise suspicion about my supposed psychic powers. Sadly the actual answer is much more dull. I simply used the hashtag to explain that the guy I used to know who went on to build prisons in Canada was the grandson of the former head of the Royal Bank of Scotland in 140 characters or less. The black lion statues featured in Skyfall are of course a reference to my black lion statue that I've been saying for years I need to dig out and show to people. As to why I chose that point to do so let's just say there is little point developing an elaborate code if you're just going to explain it to everyone.

16:20 on 12/12/12.

Tuesday 11 December 2012

Ok Probably Not the Best Start But...

...It's Tuesday night and I'm back from the pub with no obvious problems to report.

Before going to the pub I spent the afternoon reading the controversial draft constitution that Egyptians will be voting on this Saturday (15/12/12). It can be read here in Arabic; http://www.sis.gov.eg/Newvr/constitution2012.pdf and in English here; http://www.egyptindependent.com/news/egypt-s-draft-constitution-translated although I can't vouch for the accuracy of the translation. As the English version is some 41 pages and 236 articles long it is going to take me at least a day to fully digest. After all I doubt there's going to be much of a bidding war over the rights to turn the sections about the House of Representatives role in passing the national budget into a Hollywood movie. In the meantime though I think I should give a quick recap of the political situation in Egypt.

Back August 2012 Israel staged an attack on a Gaza/Israel border post from Egypt's Sinai peninsula in order to highlight how the security situation in the Sinai and Egypt as a whole had deteriorated since the January 2011 revolution. Unfortunately Egypt's Islamist and somewhat elected President Mohamed Morsi used this attack as an excuse to oust Egypt's Supreme Council of the Armed Forces (SCAF) that had overseen the revolution and subsequent transition of power and install himself as something of a dictator ruling by diktat without the oversight of a Parliament or constitution. On November 22nd 2012 (22/11/12) Morsi went one step further and issued a Presidential decree that stripped the Judiciary of any right to oversee his decisions. Coming on the day that Israel and Hamas agreed a ceasefire and four days before the start of the COP18/CMP8 this highly provocative act was a deliberate attempt by Morsi to provoke protests in order to push the issue of Egypt's revolution and the August Sinai attack onto the COP18/CMP8's unofficial agenda about the Arab Spring. This was also an attempt to head off protests against the draft constitution which even a speed read shows gives far too much power to Morsi.

Roughly a week later on December 3rd (3/12/12) councillors in Northern Ireland, UK voted to stop flying the Union (jack) flag over Belfast City Hall every day of the year. This provoked violent protests/rioting from Northern Ireland Loyalist Protestants that continues to this day. Although this latest outburst of violence is being commanded by paramilitary/drug gangs such as the Loyalist Volunteer Force (LVF) probably the most prominent Loyalist organisation in Northern Ireland is the Orange Order which I have previously compared to Morsi's Muslim Brotherhood. Therefore Britain has provoked and is orchestrating (in this instance the terms LVF and MI5 are almost interchangeable) the rioting in order to help Morsi survive the current protests and drive through his constitution. This is because Britain prefers other nations to be weak because that makes them easier to control. In Morsi they have obviously found an ally to help that dream become a reality for Egypt.

20:50 on 11/12/12.

Monday 10 December 2012

Syria's Chemical Weapons.

As I think I've mentioned before the issue that the US and others were trying to push onto the agenda for the COP18/CMP8 was the situation in Syria. Matters came to a head at the beginning of the high level segment of the summit when the US announced that it had evidence that Syria was mixing it's chemical weapons preparing them for use. I personally believe this to be true however in order to understand why you first need to go back a bit.

The US undoubtedly played a key role in starting the Syria conflict by providing media training and communications equipment to Syria activists from as far back as 2008 in order to better protect Israel by being able to destabilise the Syrian government should their support for Hezbollah become too significant a threat. However now almost two years in with around 120 people being killed a day we are clearly far beyond the point of activists posting videos of beatings on YouTube. What's happening now is that Gulf Co-operation Council (GCC) nations led by Saudi Arabia and Qatar are providing a high volume of weapons and training to Jihadist groups within Syria in order to overthrow the Syrian government as quickly as possible. A clear preference being given to the most devout and therefore most extreme Jihadists. This means that the US is now very much in the background of what is going on in the Syrian war. So the US is currently actually trying to slow down the fall of the Syrian government so they can buy time to gain influence within the Jihadist groups in order to contain the threat they present. Slowing the conflict down also has the effect of sucking money out of Iran as they try to support Syria. The Syrians know this so made sure they were seen preparing their chemical weapons for use in order to put pressure back on the US in the hope the US would realise that their containment strategy is not likely to be successful and therefore back down. After all it is one thing for terrorist groups to obtain the component parts for chemical weapons but quite another for them to mix them ready for use without killing themselves. The GCC is aware of all of this which is why their media has been presenting US concerns over Syrian chemical weapons as similar to US concerns over Iraq's chemical weapons - i.e a complete fiction - in order to push the US further into the background on the conflict.

The Chris Brown/Rihanna angle to this which everything seems to have these days is that discussions about containing the domestic violence threat that Brown presents to Rihanna could be used as a coded way to discuss containing the domestic violence threat that Syrian Jihadists present primarily to Israel. The only problem is that everybody in the business not only accepts that the violence threat Brown presents will be contained but view it as an essential part for what comes next. What everybody is concerned about is the damage that containment strategy will do and the price the US will attempt to extract for putting it in place. It should come as no surprise then that Brown has added an extra date to his Carpe Diem tour and tomorrow (11/12/12) will be playing Dubai in the United Arab Emirates (UAE) - the only member of the GCC liberal enough to tolerate western entertainers.

20:05 on 10/12/12.

Tiny Bit Racist Canada.

You'll be glad to know that yesterday shoppers at an Ikea store in Toronto, Canada came face to face with a Macaque monkey wearing a tiny, tailored sheepskin coat acting like he was people. Having been dubbed the 'IkeaMonkey' he's gone on to become something of an Internet sensation with his own Twitter account and a host of tribute videos on Youtube.

Although you wouldn't think this story could get any more strange I actually think it's a Canadian response to the Rihanna/Chris Brown Reunion that threatened to become a major theme of the COP18/CMP8. More specifically it deals with the 'Rehabilitaton of Rihanna' theme that Britain has been running since the para-Olympic closing ceremony. One of the reasons Britain cited as why Rihanna needs intervention in her life is her habit of appearing in public wearing not very many clothes. The shooting of the "We Found Love" video being a particular example. Looking at photographs of her now in northern European during what is only the beginning of the winter it's hard to not find yourself exclaiming; "Well at least now she knows why in this part of the world people are shocked when they see someone choosing not to wear clothes!" However the point the Canadians seem to be trying to make is that large swathes of the north American continent regularly experience weather as bad if not worse then a northern European winter therefore the exercise is a little meaningless.

The use of the monkey is a reference to a type of 19th century street entertainment that was popular in Europe especially Germany and the Netherlands where a man would play a mechanical organ while a captive Macaque monkey would be forced to dance along. This led to an expression whereby if you wanted to speak to someone's superior or in espionage terms their handler you would ask to speak to the organ grinder rather then the monkey. This seems to be a little Canadian hint to the US that no-one believes that the Rihanna/Brown reunion is spontaneous or a I suppose natural but they are very interested to know why the US is continuing to run an operation that is only going to result in harm to them.

On a related note the viewing figures for last night's UK X-Factor final are in and they show that even bringing out the big guns like Rihanna and her accompanying scandal the show only scraped 9 million viewers which is less then half what you would expect. It's also only almost a third of Rihanna's Twitter followers. So while that does promote a discussion about traditional media versus new media it does serve to underline the fact that even if Rihanna can be provoked into a war with traditional media outlets her career's not going to be disappearing anytime soon meaning the shame will follow the US around for a good while yet.

15:45 on 10/12/12.

Edited at around 19:30 on 10/12/12 to add: I hope the rumours I've been hearing about Rihanna and Chris Brown spending the New Years holiday together in Barbados are just that - rumours. That's because in the current climate I can easily see a small nation like Barbados being squished between the Commonwealth Realm of which it is part and the US over the issue. In fact while it's deliberately complicated and confusing I think an element of Britain's current gay marriage push is them going; "Please don't put us in a position where we have to ask if there's any lawful impediment why these two should not be joined in holy matrimony." There is also a suspicion that the US is trying to engineer circumstances in which Barbados gets so p*ssed off with Rihanna she's encouraged to give up her citizenship and take up US citizenship ending that hot debate about the US denying dual citizenship post-9/11. So if it must happen I'd much prefer it to happen in the US.

Sunday 9 December 2012

Jenni Rivera Plane Crash.

Edited at around 11:10 on 10/12/12 for a more coherent version.

Throughout his career Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez has irritated people in probably every area of his life. Probably the most relevant cause for irritation at the moment is his refusal to adhere to United Nations (UN) language rules. The UN has six official languages and to give you an idea of the calibre of people involved many speak all six fluently. However to assist those that don't each UN body/process sets one or two languages that all submissions should be made in. The official language for the United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change (UNFCCC) while includes the COP/CMP is English. However under Chavez Venezuela flatly refuses to use English and instead insists on making all it's submissions in Spanish to protest against US Imperialism. This really annoys everyone because if for example your native language is Arabic and the designated language is English you bring an English translator not a Spanish one. Over the last year or so this has led to Venezuela receiving some gentle nudging that it might like to admit that although they speak Spanish there are some of them who can speak English too. The highlight of this nudging was probably the very sarcastic suggestion by outgoing Mexican President Felipe Calderon that Mexico should drop the United States part of their official name to avoid being associated with the imperialist United States of America.

Apart from annoying people Chavez also has cancer. As he has previously blamed the CIA for giving him cancer and terminal illness is rarely a vote winner the exact nature of Chavez's cancer and his prognosis are not publicly known. However yesterday (9/12/12) Chavez took to the airwaves to announce that his cancer has returned and to name his successor making it extremely unlikely that he will complete his current 6 year term of office that is due to end in 2018. The timing of this announcement so soon after the COP18/CMP8 seems to be an attempt by Chavez to assess his popularity with his regional neighbours especially Mexico who have been quite critical of his language policy. The US was ready to react to Chavez's announcement with a mass shooting on a Native American reservation in California seemingly carried out by a Hispanic man - Hector Ceyla and a private plane crash over Mexico that killed US/Mexican singer Jenni Rivera. Combined these create the impression that the US knew about Chavez's medical condition in advance and knew that he was going to make the announcement. In the secrecy business where who knows what who knows is all important this is quite a provocative statement to make. The Rivera crash also allows the US to open up a bilateral with the new Mexican President Enrique Pena Nieto.

The involvement of a plane crash also has the spin off effect of raising discussion about the big current argument whether greenhouse gas emissions from aviation should be included in a nations emissions totals and the private plane expands that argument into whether non-commercial aircraft should be considered. To further complicate matters with Rihanna doing what looked a lot like a diplomatic mission by appearing live at the UK XFactor final there was a hope that the crash would be interpreted as a warning to her that if she continues on her current path there may well come a day when the story the summit needs is of her tragic and untimely death. In reality though it was simply an effort to put extra pressure on her and her core group including her PA Jenni Rosales because having people threaten to kill you is rarely relaxing. By putting all this pressure on a group of people in the UK the hope that little secrets would get get forced out and Britain would be seen to catching these secrets drawing attention on to them.

11:40 on 10/12/12.

COP18/CMP8: That Was F'king Grim.

After an extension of 24 hours the 18th Conference of Parties (COP18) and the 8th Conference of the Members of the Protocol (CMP8) has concluded in Doha, Qatar. I suppose we should start by looking at the positives. 37 developed  nations led by the 27 nation European Union (EU) have signed up to what is being called the "Doha Climate Gateway" which will see them voluntarily extend their legally binding commitments to cut greenhouse gas (ghg) emissions between the expiry of the Kyoto Protocol at the end of 2012 and the expected introduction of it's replacement in 2020. Although the hosts are making a big song and dance about this agreement it was actually reached prior to the start of the summit. Excluding big ghg emitters such as the USA, Russia and Canada this deal only represents 15% of global ghg emissions so will have little to no impact in keeping rises in global temperature below the 2C target identified to prevent runaway climate change. The deal though will keep the carbon credit market alive in the signatory nations and it is this market that provides much of the funding for programs such as the Clean Development Mechanism (CDM) that funds green development within developing nations allowing them to mitigate their carbon emissions and adapt to the effects of climate change. The Doha gateway also intends to raise USD100bn to aid with mitigation and adaptation but so far only USD6bn has actually been committed. The Doha summit has also been able to confirm that the COP19/CMP9 Summit will take place in Warsaw, Poland in 2013 although exact details still need to be confirmed.

The biggest challenges presented by the COP/CMP process is that the Kyoto Protocol will expire on December 31st 2012 (31/12/12). This will also bring an end to the Ad-Hoc Working Group on the Kyoto Protocol (AWG-KP) which assesses signatory nations adherence to the protocol and looks for improvements and the Ad-Hoc Working Group on Long term Co-operative Action (AWG-LCA) which worked to bring about a replacement to Kyoto including efforts to have nations that were considered developing (annex ii) under Kyoto to be re-classified as developed (annex i) under it's replacement. Along with the Subsidiary Body for Implementation (SBI) and the Subsidiary Body for Scientific and Technological Advice (SBSTA) the AWG-KP and the AWG-LCA have been the backbone of climate negotiations since the signing of the Kyoto Protocol in 1997 so their closure does rather leave future negotiations without a compass. They are though to be replaced by the Ad-Hoc Working Group on the Durban Platform for Enhanced Action (ADP) which was agreed at the COP17/CMP7 in Durban, South Africa. This change in approach is actually something I've lobbied for over a number of years because the Kyoto Protocol and it's focus on legally binding emissions targets has tended to make governments too focused on hitting those targets at the expense of a more holistic and rounded approach to sustainable development. Britain's approach of simply carrying on much as before but switching from coal fired power stations to gas fired power stations being a case in point. However it is difficult to gauge how successful or unsuccessful the ADP is going to be because at this point all we really have is the name. Having held it's first meeting in May 2012 the ADP is still at the stage of accepting submissions on what it's workplan should be and has yet to decide what it's role should be let alone agree a timetable (which always over-runs) for it's work to be completed. With the ADP being the body tasked with having a replacement for the Kyoto Protocol ready for signing by the end of 2015 they had better hurry up.

So in summary while the COP18/CMP8 was not quite the funeral for transnational efforts to tackle global warming/climate change that the hosts and others had hoped for it does rather leave the whole process up in the air with very few visible signs of support.

17:35 on 9/12/12.

It's Not That the Diamonds Play Was Weak But.

This is the birthday card my mother gave me on November 15th (15/11/12);

tillersofthesoil

It's a copy of a linocut by British/Canadian artist Sybil Andrews from 1934 called "Tillers of the Soil." As you can quite clearly see it contains horses and although I wouldn't call it a classic piece it does hint at the Cubist style that was popular within the anti-fascist/Communist movement of the time particularly Picasso's famous "Guernica." So at that point even my mother was well aware of the Orwell analysis of Rihanna's "Diamonds" video and normally I have to explain to her who people like Rihanna are.

As for the Rihanna thing now the COP18/CMP8 is over I suppose I could back down from being such a direct a$$hole but I'm not sure I want to because in case I haven't mentioned it this reunion with Chris Brown makes me really, really angry. So furious in fact that I'd much rather be dedicating my time to taking any other man she may have her eye on to one side and tutoring them on the challenges of dating a celebrity because having experienced first hands the seven labour of Hercules it takes to get near to her it's hardly a surprise she keeps backsliding to Brown as if he were the only man in the world. So despite what they say about the Malibu whale I don't think nature is going to run it's course in this case and probation violations are more certainly the responsibility of the state.

14:55 on 9/12/12.

Saturday 8 December 2012

Japans Earthquake.

It's not that the COP18/CMP8 Summit is going badly it's just they haven't yet fully agreed that there will be a COP19/CMP9 Summit next year. Everybody is around 98% certain that it will take place in Poland in November 2013 but you only need to look at Chris Brown's tour schedule to see how deeply unpopular that idea is within certain circles. This opposition to Poland is largely driven by the fact that over the years Poland has carved out a reputation for itself as being a beacon of sanity amid the chaos of climate change negotiations. Having continued to meet throughout the night the COP18/CMP8 is now in an extra day in what can only now be viewed as an exercise in futility designed to inflict maximum stress on all participants.

The main problem with the COP18/CMP8 has been the decision to hold it in a nation whose very existence is wholly dependent on the world continuing to buy and burn fossil fuels in particular natural gas. Another significant problem though has been some major players such as the US, the UK, France and Egypt trying to make the Summit about the changes to the middle east in the wake of the so-called 'Arab Spring' in particular Syria. This has played perfectly into the agenda of the Gulf Co-operation Council (GCC) hosts who have keen to cement the progress of their Islamist agenda in the region by exploring more elaborate ways to control their restive populations in order to stop these revolutions in their tracks. This has been done things like a protest march organised by the hosts through the streets of Doha last Saturday (1/12/12), Twitter accounts claiming to represent the Arab youth (al Shabaab) stirring up anger and Arab protesters being arrested and deported after unfurling a banner within the summit building.

Yesterday (7/12/12) Japan was struck by a 7.3 magnitude earthquake with result in a 1 metre tsunami wave. As Japan is a rich technologically advanced nation with a long experience in dealing with earthquakes this resulted in absolutely nothing happening apart from a few buildings shaking. Although it is quite difficult to argue that an earthquake is a climate hazard this did serve to highlight the inequality that exists between rich nations and poor nations when it comes to vulnerability to environmental hazards. This is particularly true when you compare Japan's earthquake with Typhoon Bopha which struck the Philippines early in the week killing at least 459 people. After all it doesn't really matter if the four feet of sea water being dumped on land is the result of a tsunami or a torm surge. An earthquake in Japan obviously also brings make memories of the truly catastrophic earthquake that struck Japan in March 2011 just as the world was debating whether or not to intervene in Libya so it could well serve as a hint to the US about the last time it chose to go down the wrong path.

While they are undoubtedly on a mission to make themselves the least popular nation on earth the US can't bear all of the responsibility for the failure of the COP18/CMP8. Another major sticking point has been the issue of compensation for loss and damage. This is a long running theme within climate negotiations which essentially argues that because a lot of the greenhouse gases that are currently causing climate hazards across the world were put there by a small group of developed nations up to a hundred years ago those developed nations should pay compensation to developing nations. Although they have a point at the COP18/CMP8 the developing nations have been too focused on getting the US alone to hand over compensation. The problem with this is that while they don't like to admit it the US is not the be all and end all of the developed world so any compensation package will have to include western European nations along with nations like Canada and the UK who are really opposed to it. Due to a series of very bad moves over the last few years the US is actually in a very weak position diplomatically so by putting all the pressure on them the developing nations are actually further reducing the US' ability to negotiate with their peers in the developed world.

The weakness of the US's position was revealed last night with the Hail Mary play that was opening of the autopsy report for the rapper Notorious B.I.G who was shot an killed in 1997 in Los Angles. The purpose of this was to create a defensive cloud of confusion by invoking the Arafat exhumation that the US had hoped would play a larger role at the summit. It also raises the question of why Britain has declined to carry out an autopsy on my grandmother that would conclusively prove their dementia diagnosis which obviously would have a bearing on whether I'm entitled to compensation. There was also hope that it would fuel speculation that there was some sort of internal East Coast/West Coast feud within the US that's keeping Chris Brown out of jail and possibly lead some people to believe that LA County prosecutors are now starting to dream of the old days when someone would have just shot him.

15:00 on 8/12/12.