Para-Olympics Day 4: The Working Week Begins.

People in Islamic and Jewish societies went back to work this morning. Tomorrow morning worker's in western, Christian societies will also go back to work. Afghanistan never stops. So if you're reading this in Europe you really need to go to bed while if you're reading this in Asia you really need to get up. Personally I'm just trying to find a way of fitting Sunday's events in and around the para-Olympics into two hours. To make matters worse I've also got to type up the changes to my opening ceremony V2.0 I've drafted this afternoon. I'm about 2000 words in and only about two thirds of the way though the opening act.

Anyway the day started with the news that the United States will stop training members of the Afghan National Police (ANP) until they carry out enhanced background checks on recruits. Following a spate of incidents where members of the ANP/Afghan National Army (ANA) have turned their guns on NATO troops (green on blue attacks) this is no great surprise and something the US actually put into practice several weeks ago. The announcement though was to gauge reaction to the US' big Hantavirus outbreak yesterday. In the metaphor the 'ANP' are the Brits and the 'training' is the US and others attempts to reason with them. Then there was the Belgian Formula 1 Grand Prix which was won from start to finish by Britain's Jenson Button after most of the rest of the drivers were knocked out in a big first corner accident. This all makes perfect sense when you realise that Britain not only has a Royal Family but actually has the same Royal Family as Britain. Basically the point I'm trying to make is that I have a very limited knowledge of what actually happened today at the para-Olympics.

However the big story of the day though was Oscar Pistorious' outburst at International Para-Olympic Committee (IPC) rules about the lengths of blades after he was beaten in the T44 100m by Alan Oliveria of Brazil. Apart from the fact Pistorious has had the misfortune of becoming a metaphor for me as both Brazil and South Africa are emerging economies and seen as competitors within the BRIC class this seems to be South Africa being marked down for the latest development in the Lonmin platinum mine in Marikana dispute. If you don't remember this it really hit the international headlines on 16/8/12 when police shot and killed 34 striking miners then last week a local prosecutor charged 270 striking miners for the murder of their 34 colleagues who were killed by the police under a legal principle known as "Common Purpose." Today the South African national government overturned the local prosecutor's decision and the 270 will be released from prison. At the time the charges were laid liberals were outraged and quick to remind everybody that Common Purpose was used throughout the apartheid era. What they failed to mention is that it is a legal principle that South Africa's apartheid era government imported from Britain were it is still a necessary component to prove the offence of riot including for the purposes of the 1886 Riot Damages Act (See Field V Metropolitan Police Receiver, 1907). In fact it was because British police are generally too thick to prove Common Purpose that we introduced the easier to prove Violent Disorder offence to replace riot and now use the principle of Joint Enterprise in murder cases. So I don't think that by charging 270 people the local prosecutor intended for 270 people to be convicted. Unfortunately the pressure (and some government ministers with company shares) paid off and national government dropped the charges which means the miners can no longer rely on being in prison as an excuse for not going back to work which has pleased Lonmin greatly. That Brazil would never have tried something that daring explains why the Olympic family want to encourage them.

There was success for TeamGB though with Sophie Christiansen winning Gold in the Dressage. Now I don't understand the point of Dressage let alone the classification system used in the para-Olympics. However Ms Christiansen clearly suffers from cerebral palsy and to such and extent that she has very obvious problems speaking and controlling her limbs. In Dressage this last point presents particular problems - especially for the horse who has to put up with being randomly kicked for no apparent reason. However Ms Christiansen is also frighteningly intelligent to the point where at the age of around 20 she is either completing her masters degree in pure mathematics or has just started on her PHD. Therefore her Gold really drives home the point that Cerebral Palsy sufferers really have nothing wrong with their brains. You may think this is relevant to the Pakistani case of a 12 year old Christian girl with Cerebral Palsy who has been charged with Blasphemy but it isn't. After all the medical report ordered by the Pakistani court clearly stated that the girl did not have the mental capabilities of a 14 year old (age of criminal responsibility). Now if I were to make a joke about still not wanting Ms Christiansen as a waitress do you reckon your average Channel4 viewer would get the cutting satire on the ATOS/DWP Arbeit Macht Frei policy or instead get offended and complain to OFCOM?

TeamGB also had Gold medal success in the pool with Jessica-Jane Applegate winning the S14 200m freestyle. Now apart from looking a bit like her in her waterproof mascara Ms Applegate also shares the same given name as "Jessica-Jane Clement" who has been something of a regular feature in British TV circles presenting "The Real Hustle" on BBC3 and appearing on various daytime shows. However she since got into a serious relationship with somewhat famous hairdresser "Nicky Clarke" who is about 20 - 30 years older then her. By the time she appeared on "I'm a Celebrity Get me Out of Here" she'd had a poorly thought through breast enlargement operation and a number of very large tattoos including a rose that covers her entire left shoulder. Although I don't feel I know either of them well enough to comment people have suggested that Ms Clement's body modifications are a form or self-harm and use that as evidence that her relationship with Mr Clarke is somehow abusive. This plays into the debate about paedophilia, normal sexuality and the grey area between the two. This is because many feminists have suggested that many of the psychological elements of power, control and domination that are present in paedophilic relationships and other forms of rape are also present in what are considered normal sexual relationships in patriarchal societies especially relationships involving a much older male and a much younger but adult female. This is why many men get almost irrationally angry about paedophilia because it cuts so close to the bone. Also in an effort to fuel pop-star Rihanna's impending nervous breakdown a TeamGB athlete called Rhiannon Henry has not been doing very well. Rhiannon is of course the Welsh spelling of Rihanna.

Also in the pool TeamGB's James Clegg could only manage a Bronze in the S12 100m butterfly before Cameron Leslie from Britain's close and active ally New Zealand won Gold in the S4 150m medley. Later on the track TeamGB's Libby Clegg went one better then her namesake and won the silver in the T12 100m. Considering that Britain's Conservative Party is led by a man named David Cameron who is the Prime Minister in the governing coalition while Britain's Liberal Democrat Party is a man named Nick Clegg who is the Deputy Prime Minister and Britain's political classes are getting all fizzy in the knickers about cabinet reshuffles and leadership challenges as party conference season approaches do I really need to explain this? Sample jokes include "There's clearly too many Cleggs and not enough legs" which is a reference about David Cameron's comments about the need to cut out the differing. Personally I just think there's too many Liberal Democrats fullstop but on the plus side we could probably get away with killing them because they'd still be unable to make up their minds whether they are for or against it.

Finally Monday September 3rd 2012 sees the start of the autumn school term. This means that many 4-5 year olds will be going to school for the very first time while many 11 year olds will be going to big school for the very first time. In London going to big school also often involves using public transport alone for the first time. Therefore there will lots of extra traffic on the roads and passengers on the trains including many 11 year old's who don't have a clue what they're doing. So hopefully everyone will plan their journeys, try to be patient and the bigger kids will wait until next week to start the bullying.

23:25 on 2/9/12.

Edited at around 23:40 on 2/9/12 because I've just remembered it.

Today a man and a women have been arrested in Melton Mowbrey after a number of burglars were shot with a legally held shotgun after attempting to break into the couple's farm. Apparently it was the burglars that called the police. As it's not that difficult to talk some not very bright criminals to break into a house they don't know firearms are present so I think this has been set up to draw attention to all the issues surrounding the use of forces in order to prevent a robbery. This has a specific resonance with the Tony Martin case which keeps getting brought up by the American gun lobby as an example of how Britain's tight gun laws mean we're not allowed to defend ourselves from criminals. Of course what they don't mention Mr Martin was only convicted after it emerged that there were significant differences between his account of events and the physical forensic evidence. Mr Martin also had significant psychological problems but annoyingly I can't remember the details because the case took place in 1999. Also it has a specific resonance with the Trayvon Martin case in the USA. All I have to say about that at this time is that it is a case that will turn on the interpretation of a very complicated point of law. Therefore by dismissing the Judge the US Judiciary were trying to kick it into the long grass because provided Zimmerman is free on bail and the Martin's are able to bury the body it's better all round if the case can take place away from the politically charged environment of a US Presidential election.

23:50 on 2/9/12.