In the first part of today's post I explained how the purpose of the Caribbean and second US leg of Rihanna's Diamonds World Tour was to help drive immigration reform through the US Congress.
However as anyone who's watched the news recently knows the US goes to great efforts to find out what is going on in the inner workings of the governments of other nations. As a result the US is also in the process of throwing up a massive smoke screen to disguise to the outside world the effect that Rihanna's tour is having on the progress of immigration reform. Also making it appear as though the US is also doing something vitally important on the global stage not only helps to fuel the compulsory national service element of the immigration debate it also helps to disguise to the American public how utterly vile their government's treatment of Rihanna is.
The main focus of this smoke screen so far has been China. It began on Saturday (26/10/13) - the day of Rihanna's Dominican Republic concert - with the discovery of the bodies of five people killed in a shooting rampage in Phoenix, Arizona. This is believed to have stemmed from a dispute between neighbours about barking dogs. It was intended to send the signal that the US Establishment (CIA etc) has conceded that its big plan for Rihanna's tour up to now has indeed failed and the US are now looking for the reasons why I caused that plan to fail. After all I've repeatedly compared the US' attempts to get us all excited about Chris Brown's fate as barking dogs that never bite. The other thing of note about the incident is that compared to things like the Sandy Hook massacre it was very small with a very low death toll. This is the US trying to assess whether the level of brutality they've been using recently is something of a turn off with potential allies.
The smoke screen was followed up on Saturday by the killing of again five people in a stabbing in Brooklyn, New York City. Although she won't be moving to Brooklyn specifically it seems highly likely that once this tour comes to an end Rihanna will be quitting Los Angeles on the west coast for New York City on the east coast. This moves seems in no small part to reflect a desire on Rihanna's part to get away from Chris Brown and his social circle in an effort to get him out of her life once and for all. I have very loudly objected to this because with Chris Brown clearly being the one in the wrong I don't see why Rihanna should be forced into exile in order to keep him away from her.
Therefore this stabbing incident was supposed to promote discussion about my position on Rihanna's move to New York with the US rather offensively claiming that I object because I - like the accused Mingdong Chen - am jealous of Rihanna and in particular Chris Brown's lifestyle. However the fact that a knife rather then a gun was used in the killing and the fact that all involved are Korean was supposed to be the US Establishment sending China the message that it has conceded that Obama's efforts at gun control were driven by a desire for North Korean style totalitarianism rather then concern about the safety of the public. Therefore the inevitable and deserved damage to Obama's reputation that will result from his insistance that the Rihanna operation continues has in fact been intended by the US Establishment in order to help protect the nation from Barack Obama. As such China can continue to trust the US Establishment if not its current President.
While I don't think Chris Brown's arrest on Sunday (27/10/13) was planned by anyone expect maybe Brown himself it and the ensuing Court appearance did provide China with the opportunity to have a bit of a laugh at the US expense. So in the hours between the arrest and the Court appearance the Chinese staged a car crash in the famous Tiananmen Square which was dramatically covered up from the media and any evidence of the event taking place was quickly erased. As I've explained before this was the Chinese telling the US that they knew exactly what the US was up to and didn't believe a word of it.
Unfortunately the US Establishment is currently feeling rather bruised, battered and humiliated in the wake of its big failure so rather then calmly considering the Chinese point and changing direction they instead started to fail about wildly. This involved hammering China on the way that information about the Tiananmen Square incident was being covered up in the Chinese media. This was intended to a reference to the total information blackout that has been imposed on Rihanna's tour with a view to find out if that bothered the Chinese in anyway shape or form. This was followed up by the fatal shooting of six people in Greenwood County, South Carolina. With the death toll raising by one to six this was again intended to promote discussion about the level of brutality the US Establishment employs. The return to gun violence rather then knife violence is meant to reinforce the idea that the US Establishment is bravely standing up to Obama and his totalitarian quest for gun control.
Since then China has declared the Tiananmen Square incident a terrorist attack and arrested a number of Uighur Muslims. Although it's sending the message that the US Establishment's brutality is so unacceptable it is comparable to terrorism this is really just China trying to wind down the story. However demonstrating how these things can quickly cascade out of control China's neighbour India joined in with a fatal bus crash which was an attempt to find out if the discussion between the US and China had anything to do with the US withdrawal from Afghanistan.
As for Chris Brown himself in response to his recent arrest he has checked himself into a rehabilitation facility. Far from being of any medical relevance this move is purely political intended to reflect the fact that it is now impossible to his CIA handler to justify not placing a restraining order on Chris Brown because he really should be in prison now. After all federal authorities in Las Vegas have mounted a prosecution against Cirque du Soleil for a failure to follow the correct procedures resulting in the death of a performer. So what is going to happen now that is Brown is going to lie low in effectively a holiday resort for the next thirty or so days. He will then pay a Conrad Murray style doctor to provide a glowing report of his progress to the Judge freeing the Judge to take no further action against him and allowing Brown to opportunity to try and worm his way back into Rihanna's life.
Although it's hard to prove the way Rihanna reacted last night to Kerruche Tran posting a picture on Twitter/Instagram of her kissing Brown seems indicate that Brown has actually increased his chances of a reunion with Rihanna through his arrest. That reflects the dysfunction at the heart of the relationship between Rihanna and Chris Brown because Rihanna doesn't actually love Chris Brown. Instead she wants to mother Chris Brown because it distracts from the hardship in her own life. Therefore every time Chris Brown does something stupid or get bullied by the bigger boys Rihanna becomes attracted to him all over again. As such I wouldn't be too surprised to learn that Chris Brown planned his own arrest in an effort to win Rihanna back.
That's because Chris Brown seems to me to be so manipulative and so exploitative that sadly I think he is beyond any form of rehabilitation.
17:35 on 30/10/13.
Wednesday 30 October 2013
Operation Misery: Month 8, Week 4, Day 4.
Overnight Rihanna's Diamonds World Tour returned to the United States with a concert in Puerto Rico. As I been saying since this Caribbean and second US leg of the tour was announced the political purpose it to help drive immigration reform through the US Congress.
Apart from highlighting the different US immigration status between Puerto Ricans and other Caribbean islanders this would be achieved by making Rihanna so miserable that she personifies the tired, the poor[sic] and the huddled masses yearning to be free that are synonymous with US' famous Ellis Island immigration station. The idea being that Rihanna's misery would create such a wave of empathy towards all immigrants to the US that it would be impossible to for Congress to refuse to pass immigration reform. It rather goes without saying the Ellis Island actually re-opened to the public on Monday (28/10/13) after a year of repairs following Superstorm Sandy.
Therefore the objective of Rihanna's CIA handlers/Live Nation (the management) was to make Rihanna as miserable and stressed out as possible ahead of the Puerto Rico concert to ensure the most wretched and poor performance possible. Apart from only allowing Rihanna to travel to Puerto Rico in the hours before the concert this was to be achieved primarily by getting Rihanna and members of her core tour party such as her friend Melissa Forde and Gomillion and Leupold (@GnLStudios) who are the sort of in-house paparazzi to be very active on social media (Twitter/Instagram). This would prompt me - in my post-pub state - to tell them all exactly what I thought of them in brutal and sweary detail. This would of course ibncrease the tensions within the group and create waves of discussion and argument amongst Rihanna's huge social media following. If you look back over my Twitter feed (@Sovereignaka) from last night you will see that I went about this task with a great deal of glee and gusto. After all it helped prove my point.
Despite all these efforts Rihanna's actual performance was far from poor or wretched. There was a small issue about how long it took for Rihanna to arrive on stage because with a scheduled show start time of 20:00 (local) you would have expected Rihanna to appear between 21:00 and 21:30. The fact that Rihanna didn't actually take to the stage until between 22:15 and 22:30 would suggest that she was very late. However with the support act also running late and there being little expectation that Rihanna would actually turn up on time no-one seemed to mind that much.
I don't know what sort of stage-set was used for the concert but Rihanna put in an energetic and enthusiastic performance of the standard set-list. Again Rihanna dispensed with the usual costume changes instead wearing one outfit throughout her performance made up of a black leather bra top and black leather trousers. Basically this looked sexy as hell and although the use of black was supposed to symbolise that Rihanna was depressed there was no great political significance to the outfit.
Obviously in a country of some 315 million people the fact Rihanna is performing the occasional concert in front of a few thousand isn't going to be enough to put Rihanna in the US public consciousness to the extent needed to drive through national immigration reform. As such efforts have been made to really boost Rihanna's public profile within the US primarily through the release for radio airplay of "The Monster" Rihanna's collaboration with Eminem. As always with music it would be better for you to listen to this song or even buy it rather then have me analyse it on the Internet. However any analysis of that song will immediately pick up on two things;
Firstly The Monster is quite clearly the strongest work Rihanna has released all year. Apart from highlighting just how weak the "Unapologetic" album which makes up the bulk of the concert set-list actually is this promotes discussion about where Rihanna's career goes once this unfortunate chapter ends. After all Rihanna won't be able to release a new album until at least the autumn of 2014 but she could certainly fit in a summer of collaborations with artists of Eminem's calibre which I suppose makes Eminem something of the lamp by Rihanna's golden door.
Secondly Rihanna's main part in the song is singing the hook; "I'm friends with the monster under my bed. I'm friends with the voices in my head." Years ago someone assigned me the pseudonym "Eminem" and since then the actual Eminem and I have been slowly and gradually driving each other insane. Therefore you could say that I am Eminem's 'Monster.' As such it sounds as though Eminem has got Rihanna to record this song in order to get her to very publicly and very loudly admit that she and I are indeed friends. This creates the obvious question of why we've never met up or why Rihanna never phones or writes. Apart from my performance last night a large part of the reason for this is that Rihanna is afraid that if she does meet up with me the management will punish her in some way most likely through the Inland Revenue Service (IRS) audit.
So I don't know about Rihanna but I'm certainly yearning for the day when she's allowed to breathe free.
12:55 on 30/10/13.
Apart from highlighting the different US immigration status between Puerto Ricans and other Caribbean islanders this would be achieved by making Rihanna so miserable that she personifies the tired, the poor[sic] and the huddled masses yearning to be free that are synonymous with US' famous Ellis Island immigration station. The idea being that Rihanna's misery would create such a wave of empathy towards all immigrants to the US that it would be impossible to for Congress to refuse to pass immigration reform. It rather goes without saying the Ellis Island actually re-opened to the public on Monday (28/10/13) after a year of repairs following Superstorm Sandy.
Therefore the objective of Rihanna's CIA handlers/Live Nation (the management) was to make Rihanna as miserable and stressed out as possible ahead of the Puerto Rico concert to ensure the most wretched and poor performance possible. Apart from only allowing Rihanna to travel to Puerto Rico in the hours before the concert this was to be achieved primarily by getting Rihanna and members of her core tour party such as her friend Melissa Forde and Gomillion and Leupold (@GnLStudios) who are the sort of in-house paparazzi to be very active on social media (Twitter/Instagram). This would prompt me - in my post-pub state - to tell them all exactly what I thought of them in brutal and sweary detail. This would of course ibncrease the tensions within the group and create waves of discussion and argument amongst Rihanna's huge social media following. If you look back over my Twitter feed (@Sovereignaka) from last night you will see that I went about this task with a great deal of glee and gusto. After all it helped prove my point.
Despite all these efforts Rihanna's actual performance was far from poor or wretched. There was a small issue about how long it took for Rihanna to arrive on stage because with a scheduled show start time of 20:00 (local) you would have expected Rihanna to appear between 21:00 and 21:30. The fact that Rihanna didn't actually take to the stage until between 22:15 and 22:30 would suggest that she was very late. However with the support act also running late and there being little expectation that Rihanna would actually turn up on time no-one seemed to mind that much.
I don't know what sort of stage-set was used for the concert but Rihanna put in an energetic and enthusiastic performance of the standard set-list. Again Rihanna dispensed with the usual costume changes instead wearing one outfit throughout her performance made up of a black leather bra top and black leather trousers. Basically this looked sexy as hell and although the use of black was supposed to symbolise that Rihanna was depressed there was no great political significance to the outfit.
Obviously in a country of some 315 million people the fact Rihanna is performing the occasional concert in front of a few thousand isn't going to be enough to put Rihanna in the US public consciousness to the extent needed to drive through national immigration reform. As such efforts have been made to really boost Rihanna's public profile within the US primarily through the release for radio airplay of "The Monster" Rihanna's collaboration with Eminem. As always with music it would be better for you to listen to this song or even buy it rather then have me analyse it on the Internet. However any analysis of that song will immediately pick up on two things;
Firstly The Monster is quite clearly the strongest work Rihanna has released all year. Apart from highlighting just how weak the "Unapologetic" album which makes up the bulk of the concert set-list actually is this promotes discussion about where Rihanna's career goes once this unfortunate chapter ends. After all Rihanna won't be able to release a new album until at least the autumn of 2014 but she could certainly fit in a summer of collaborations with artists of Eminem's calibre which I suppose makes Eminem something of the lamp by Rihanna's golden door.
Secondly Rihanna's main part in the song is singing the hook; "I'm friends with the monster under my bed. I'm friends with the voices in my head." Years ago someone assigned me the pseudonym "Eminem" and since then the actual Eminem and I have been slowly and gradually driving each other insane. Therefore you could say that I am Eminem's 'Monster.' As such it sounds as though Eminem has got Rihanna to record this song in order to get her to very publicly and very loudly admit that she and I are indeed friends. This creates the obvious question of why we've never met up or why Rihanna never phones or writes. Apart from my performance last night a large part of the reason for this is that Rihanna is afraid that if she does meet up with me the management will punish her in some way most likely through the Inland Revenue Service (IRS) audit.
So I don't know about Rihanna but I'm certainly yearning for the day when she's allowed to breathe free.
12:55 on 30/10/13.
Monday 28 October 2013
Operation Misery: Month 8, Week 4, Day 2.
In the early hours of Sunday (27/10/13) Chris Brown and his bodyguard Christopher Hollosy got involved in a fight outside a Washington D.C hotel in which a member of the public had his nose broken. The two were promptly arrested, charged with felony assault and were held in the County Jail until they could appear in Court today.
As I explained at the time what normally would have happened is the Judge would have done a quick assessment of the evidence and if it was found to be insufficient immediately released the pair. However if there was sufficient evidence the pair would have been committed to trial at a later date and decision would have been made to either free them on bail or remand them in custody until that trial date. As neither of the two are residents of the state and because Chris Brown is already on probation for a similar offence and has been found to be in violation of that probation you would have expected bail to have been set extremely high or to be denied outright with Chris Brown being transported by Federal Marshals to the custody of Los Angeles County where he is on probation.
However it is clear that overnight Chris Brown's CIA handler has been applying the thumb screws to the Washington district attorneys offence because the felony assault charge was dropped in favour of a misdemeanour assault charge which considering the level of bodily injury is simply ridiculous. The Judge then not only proceeded to grant the pair unconditional bail but failed to demand a financial surety or "bail bond." So it seems to be just another simple case of; "Suck enough white c*ck and the magic will happen for you."
The outcome of this hearing was a surprise to absolutely no-one in the business. So much so that the US' great rival China even went to the trouble of putting on a little stunt overnight to explain to everyone exactly what was going to happen. This involved a car crashing in the famous Tiananmen Square before bursting into flames. That was of course reminiscent of the recent Capitol Hill shooting in which a mentally disturbed women tried driving a car first into the Capitol Building and then into the Whitehouse. The police force that dealt with that incident is of course the same police force that arrested Chris Brown. As soon as this nasty incident occurred Chinese authorities swarmed on Tiananmen Square blocking all access to the public and media, erecting screens to literally cover up the scene of the incident before performing a rapid clean up to erase any evidence of the event ever taking place.
So I seriously hope that the Americans don't think they've fooled anyone with this little charade or caused me or anyone else any level of stress of anger. After all from now on I'm going to start using "Carrie Mathison" as the codeword to refer to Chris Brown's CIA handler because they clearly need to be locked up in a psychiatric facility before the do further harm to themselves or others.
Elsewhere the Eminem track "Monster" featuring Rihanna has been released for airplay but I'll be saving that until tomorrow when I can give the *ahem* attention it deserves.
23:30 on 28/10/13.
As I explained at the time what normally would have happened is the Judge would have done a quick assessment of the evidence and if it was found to be insufficient immediately released the pair. However if there was sufficient evidence the pair would have been committed to trial at a later date and decision would have been made to either free them on bail or remand them in custody until that trial date. As neither of the two are residents of the state and because Chris Brown is already on probation for a similar offence and has been found to be in violation of that probation you would have expected bail to have been set extremely high or to be denied outright with Chris Brown being transported by Federal Marshals to the custody of Los Angeles County where he is on probation.
However it is clear that overnight Chris Brown's CIA handler has been applying the thumb screws to the Washington district attorneys offence because the felony assault charge was dropped in favour of a misdemeanour assault charge which considering the level of bodily injury is simply ridiculous. The Judge then not only proceeded to grant the pair unconditional bail but failed to demand a financial surety or "bail bond." So it seems to be just another simple case of; "Suck enough white c*ck and the magic will happen for you."
The outcome of this hearing was a surprise to absolutely no-one in the business. So much so that the US' great rival China even went to the trouble of putting on a little stunt overnight to explain to everyone exactly what was going to happen. This involved a car crashing in the famous Tiananmen Square before bursting into flames. That was of course reminiscent of the recent Capitol Hill shooting in which a mentally disturbed women tried driving a car first into the Capitol Building and then into the Whitehouse. The police force that dealt with that incident is of course the same police force that arrested Chris Brown. As soon as this nasty incident occurred Chinese authorities swarmed on Tiananmen Square blocking all access to the public and media, erecting screens to literally cover up the scene of the incident before performing a rapid clean up to erase any evidence of the event ever taking place.
So I seriously hope that the Americans don't think they've fooled anyone with this little charade or caused me or anyone else any level of stress of anger. After all from now on I'm going to start using "Carrie Mathison" as the codeword to refer to Chris Brown's CIA handler because they clearly need to be locked up in a psychiatric facility before the do further harm to themselves or others.
Elsewhere the Eminem track "Monster" featuring Rihanna has been released for airplay but I'll be saving that until tomorrow when I can give the *ahem* attention it deserves.
23:30 on 28/10/13.
The Great British Drizzle of 2013
Over the past 24-36 hours the UK has been experiencing a weather system that has brought heavy rain and winds that have momentarily gusted all the way up to 99mph. This is slightly more extreme weather then the UK is used to so it has been something that the emergency services, those who maintain the national power grid and people living in particularly vulnerable areas have needed to be aware of.
Unfortunately though the UK's big international diplomatic plan for 2013 failed to materialise. So with the COP19/CMP9 Summit on global warming and climate change fast approaching the UK government saw an opportunity to make itself the centre of attention. As a result this storm dramatically closed down all public transport and has created a lot of interesting talking points;
This began on Sunday evening with the news that the authorities were searching for a 14 year old boy who had gone missing in the sea off Newhaven in East Sussex. This was of course a reference to the 14 year old burglar who is connected to the local criminal entity that were supposed to have been making my life really stressful yesterday.
Overnight a 17 year old girl died after a tree fell onto the static caravan in which she was sleeping. As only gypsies tend to live in caravans this was intended as a reference to the ongoing European Union (EU) discussions about Roma gypsies including the recent "Maria" case in Greece with all its connotations to the Madeline McCann case. It was also a reference to the UK's eviction of Irish Traveller gypsies from Dale Farm which some have classed as ethnic cleansing and the two year anniversary of which came up last weekend.
At around 06:50 on Monday morning a crane close to the government's Cabinet Office in central London suddenly went all floppy. This was of course a reference to the crane that went all floppy in New York City, US in the build up to hurricane Sandy that was the US trying to convince us that Rihanna's mood swings somehow control the weather. The London crane also caused Deputy Prime Minister and Liberal Democrat Party leader Nick Clegg to cancel a press conference. The actual Prime Minister David Cameron and his Conservative Party are currently trying to exploit profiteering rises to home energy bills as an excuse to do away with levies intended to fund renewable energy projects. In theory Nick Clegg is trying to stop him. Therefore Clegg being forced to cancel was supposed indicate that Cameron is winning that argument although no-one ever really doubted Clegg's ability to lose any argument.
At around 07:30 on Monday morning a tree allegedly cut a natural gas line leading to an explosion that destroyed three houses. When I took the local criminal entity to Croydon Magistrates Court under the Environmental Protection Act back in 2010 the case was dismissed amid rumours of a mysterious Supreme Court ruling. Although it has never been declared what that Supreme Court ruling was the best guess is that it related to a case in which a negligent contractor had caused a natural gas explosion which destroyed a number of houses leading to the property owner being sued for damages. The Court found that because the property owner had conducted due diligence they were not liable for the negligence of the contractor. This of course had no relevance to my case because on that occasion the property owner was behaving maliciously rather then negligently and had repeatedly failed to perform due diligence.
Also as part of its flawed efforts to cut greenhouse gas emissions by switching almost exclusively to natural gas fired power stations the UK has left itself extremely vulnerable to supply problems and price rises within the global natural gas market. Therefore as the storm struck the Dungeness nuclear power station successfully shut down in an effort to show us just how safe nuclear power can be.
I of course would have downplayed the effects of the storm and instead argued that the weather had conspired to give everyone in the UK a half-day off work in order to allow them to adjust to the one hour shift from British Summer Time (BST) back to Greenwich Meantime (GMT).
After all that would have helped underline the damaging effects that all that poorly planned travel had on Rihanna during the final leg of her Diamonds World Tour thus complicating the argument about whether Rihanna controls the weather and helping to build up the empathy that Obama needs to drive through his immigration reforms.
12:20 on 28/10/13.
Edited at around 16:05 on 28/10/13 to add;
I'm still a little bit hungover so I sort of forgot to mention that this storm has also seen some 220,000 UK homes cut off from the electricity supply. Apart from being a really big number that makes the whole thing sound more dramatic this was intended to make the not altogether accurate point that efforts to reduce greenhouse gas emissions - in particular the switch to gas fired power stations - has made the UK very dependent on nations such as Qatar in order to keep the nation supplied with electricity. Therefore if we want to stop getting involved in situations like Syria we had better stop trying to reduce greenhouse gas emissions.
The other thing is that in a effort to complicate matters further by adding a religious dimension the UK is trying to dub this the "Saint Jude's Storm" because today is the feast day of Saint Jude. The irony is that Saint Jude is the Patron Saint of lost causes.
Unfortunately though the UK's big international diplomatic plan for 2013 failed to materialise. So with the COP19/CMP9 Summit on global warming and climate change fast approaching the UK government saw an opportunity to make itself the centre of attention. As a result this storm dramatically closed down all public transport and has created a lot of interesting talking points;
This began on Sunday evening with the news that the authorities were searching for a 14 year old boy who had gone missing in the sea off Newhaven in East Sussex. This was of course a reference to the 14 year old burglar who is connected to the local criminal entity that were supposed to have been making my life really stressful yesterday.
Overnight a 17 year old girl died after a tree fell onto the static caravan in which she was sleeping. As only gypsies tend to live in caravans this was intended as a reference to the ongoing European Union (EU) discussions about Roma gypsies including the recent "Maria" case in Greece with all its connotations to the Madeline McCann case. It was also a reference to the UK's eviction of Irish Traveller gypsies from Dale Farm which some have classed as ethnic cleansing and the two year anniversary of which came up last weekend.
At around 06:50 on Monday morning a crane close to the government's Cabinet Office in central London suddenly went all floppy. This was of course a reference to the crane that went all floppy in New York City, US in the build up to hurricane Sandy that was the US trying to convince us that Rihanna's mood swings somehow control the weather. The London crane also caused Deputy Prime Minister and Liberal Democrat Party leader Nick Clegg to cancel a press conference. The actual Prime Minister David Cameron and his Conservative Party are currently trying to exploit profiteering rises to home energy bills as an excuse to do away with levies intended to fund renewable energy projects. In theory Nick Clegg is trying to stop him. Therefore Clegg being forced to cancel was supposed indicate that Cameron is winning that argument although no-one ever really doubted Clegg's ability to lose any argument.
At around 07:30 on Monday morning a tree allegedly cut a natural gas line leading to an explosion that destroyed three houses. When I took the local criminal entity to Croydon Magistrates Court under the Environmental Protection Act back in 2010 the case was dismissed amid rumours of a mysterious Supreme Court ruling. Although it has never been declared what that Supreme Court ruling was the best guess is that it related to a case in which a negligent contractor had caused a natural gas explosion which destroyed a number of houses leading to the property owner being sued for damages. The Court found that because the property owner had conducted due diligence they were not liable for the negligence of the contractor. This of course had no relevance to my case because on that occasion the property owner was behaving maliciously rather then negligently and had repeatedly failed to perform due diligence.
Also as part of its flawed efforts to cut greenhouse gas emissions by switching almost exclusively to natural gas fired power stations the UK has left itself extremely vulnerable to supply problems and price rises within the global natural gas market. Therefore as the storm struck the Dungeness nuclear power station successfully shut down in an effort to show us just how safe nuclear power can be.
I of course would have downplayed the effects of the storm and instead argued that the weather had conspired to give everyone in the UK a half-day off work in order to allow them to adjust to the one hour shift from British Summer Time (BST) back to Greenwich Meantime (GMT).
After all that would have helped underline the damaging effects that all that poorly planned travel had on Rihanna during the final leg of her Diamonds World Tour thus complicating the argument about whether Rihanna controls the weather and helping to build up the empathy that Obama needs to drive through his immigration reforms.
12:20 on 28/10/13.
Edited at around 16:05 on 28/10/13 to add;
I'm still a little bit hungover so I sort of forgot to mention that this storm has also seen some 220,000 UK homes cut off from the electricity supply. Apart from being a really big number that makes the whole thing sound more dramatic this was intended to make the not altogether accurate point that efforts to reduce greenhouse gas emissions - in particular the switch to gas fired power stations - has made the UK very dependent on nations such as Qatar in order to keep the nation supplied with electricity. Therefore if we want to stop getting involved in situations like Syria we had better stop trying to reduce greenhouse gas emissions.
The other thing is that in a effort to complicate matters further by adding a religious dimension the UK is trying to dub this the "Saint Jude's Storm" because today is the feast day of Saint Jude. The irony is that Saint Jude is the Patron Saint of lost causes.
Sunday 27 October 2013
Operation Misery: Month 8, Week 4, Day 1.
Last night (26/10/13) Rihanna performed at the Hard Rock Hotel in Punta Cana in the Dominican Republic. Although I'm sure a geographer could squeeze in some commentary about economic globalisation based on the way this impoverished island nation has embraced all the big US brand names of the 1990's the concert was pretty routine.
Rihanna took to the stage within 30 minutes of her scheduled curtain time and worked her way though the standard set-list with significantly more enthusiasm and competence then she managed in Israel. This is no doubt a side-effect of the fact that Rihanna was allowed to arrive in the Dominican Republic some four days before the concert giving her plenty of time to prepare. It seems that Rihanna's CIA handler/Live Nation (the management) took the majority of the usual Diamonds World Tour stage-set with them to the Dominican Republic. However Rihanna did not wear the usual costumes instead wearing a single outfit throughout the concert. This outfit was made up of matching floral print, jacket, long shorts and top. Unless there are any surprises in the unnamed designer there was no significance to the outfit which just rather fitted the Caribbean surroundings.
The concert was attended by A$AP Rocky who along with 2-Chainz will be supporting Rihanna on the final US leg of this tour if indeed those concerts are still going to go ahead. Therefore be prepared to expect lots of rumours about Rihanna dating either A$AP Rocky or 2-Chainz in order to provide yet another excuse as to why Chris Brown has still not been served with a 10 year restraining order keeping him away from Rihanna. This actually deeply offends my feminist sensibilities because by continuing to make up these excuses the management are actually revealing their belief that Rihanna - as a woman - only has the right to exist as the property of a man. Even Saudi Arabians are slowly moving away from that arcane point of view
The big news from the tour though is that Rihanna Barbados concert which was scheduled for November 1st (1/11/13) has been postponed indefinitely. Officially this has been done due to; "the technical difficulties associated with the transport of equipment." However in reality it is the management trying to put pressure on Rihanna's native Barbados over the future of Rihanna's career if indeed there is to be one.
As I've been saying throughout the last year of Rihanna's life including the recording of the less then great "Unapologetic" album, the resumption of the relationship with Chris Brown, the 777 Tour and this painfully long Diamonds World Tour has been all about destroying Rihanna's career. Mainly this would have been achieved through repeated delayed and generally poor concert performances and the political friction created by conflicts in Mali, Democratic Republic of the Congo, Kenya, Zimbabwe and Syria that should have put the death toll into the tens of thousands.
Fortunately very little of this actually materialised. However 2013 will be the first time in seven years that Rihanna has not released an album. Therefore through the indefinite postponement of the Barbados concert the management are giving Barbados a tough choice. They can either insist on rescheduling the concert meaning an extension of the Diamonds World Tour that not even I will be able to save Rihanna from. Alternatively they can settle for a special Rihanna concert in the spring/summer of 2014 that will form the part of a summer of festival appearances by Rihanna that will help rebuild her reputation in preparation for a new album in the autumn of 2014. Although I don't want to put words into their mouths Barbados seem to already be on the right track in this negotiation.
The reason why the management and their Commander in Chief, US President Barack Obama are still insisting that the Diamonds World Tour will drag on until November 15th (15/11/13) is that they hope I will spend the remaining time emotionally bemoaning the suffering and hardship that Rihanna has already had to endure. The idea being that the sorrow we all feel for Rihanna can be used as a metaphor for the plight of pre-dominantly Hispanic immigrants as they attempt to illegally enter the US creating a wave of empathy that helps drive immigration reform through the US Congress.
That Obama is relying on a wave of emotion rather then cold hard facts and technical detail to drive through immigration reform reveals his true motivation for seeking immigration reform. Rather then trying to create a fair system that address the complex issues of economic migration Obama is simply trying to make it easier for illegal immigrants to become US citizens.
That's because these roughly 11 million new citizens along with their friends and relatives will owe Obama a huge debt of gratitude that should translate into votes for Obama's Democrat Party successor at the 2016 Election. That is also why the majority of the opposition to Obama's immigration reforms has come not from the Republican Party but from the traditionally Democrat supporting trade union movement.
It is probably also worth pointing out that while a permanent work visa would be a reassurance Rihanna doesn't seem to be that interested in becoming a US citizen. A much more significant way that management are exerting control over Rihanna is through the Berdon LLP case and associated Inland Revenue Service (IRS) audit that has been going on for 2 years and counting.
This issue of IRS audits is already very shaky ground for the Obama administration.
14:10 on 27/10/13.
Edited at around 16:45 on 27/10/13 to add;
Whilst I was waking up at around 09:20 and making my first Tweet of the day ("Well hello sweet GMT. Oh how I've missed you!") Chris Brown and his knuckle dragging moron of a body guard Christopher Hollosy were getting involved in a fight outside the "W" hotel in Washington D.C, US. Police arrived at around 04:25 local (09:25 GMT) and the pair were arrested.
They have since both been charged with felony assault. As it is a Sunday this will normally mean that they are to be held overnight in (I assume) the protection wing of the County jail before being brought before a Court for a Habeus Corpus hearing first thing on Monday (28/10/13) morning. At that hearing the Judge will decide if there is a case to answer and if there is commit the pair to trial. The Judge will then decide whether to grant bail and although I'm not sure of Brown's exact assets he should be able to raise whatever amount of money that bail will be set at.
However as we all know Chris Brown is already on probation for his 2009 assault of Rihanna and has been found to have violated that probation on at least one occasion. He is also not a resident of Washington D.C. This would normally mean that he is not a good candidate for bail and instead faces being remanded in custody until his trial. Therefore I think it would be better if Brown is released into the custody of the State of California. They can then on Tuesday (29/10/13) free him on bail with electronic tag and the condition that he does not in anyway attempt to contact Rihanna until such a time as his probation can be reviewed.
That probation review hearing is going to be a bit of a head-scratcher all round because even with CIA protection and overcrowded prisons I'm really struggling to see how Brown can escape a short - like 6 months - prison sentence.
I should though point out though that by the time I was insulting him on Twitter the alleged fight had already happened and Brown was already in police custody.
Rihanna took to the stage within 30 minutes of her scheduled curtain time and worked her way though the standard set-list with significantly more enthusiasm and competence then she managed in Israel. This is no doubt a side-effect of the fact that Rihanna was allowed to arrive in the Dominican Republic some four days before the concert giving her plenty of time to prepare. It seems that Rihanna's CIA handler/Live Nation (the management) took the majority of the usual Diamonds World Tour stage-set with them to the Dominican Republic. However Rihanna did not wear the usual costumes instead wearing a single outfit throughout the concert. This outfit was made up of matching floral print, jacket, long shorts and top. Unless there are any surprises in the unnamed designer there was no significance to the outfit which just rather fitted the Caribbean surroundings.
The concert was attended by A$AP Rocky who along with 2-Chainz will be supporting Rihanna on the final US leg of this tour if indeed those concerts are still going to go ahead. Therefore be prepared to expect lots of rumours about Rihanna dating either A$AP Rocky or 2-Chainz in order to provide yet another excuse as to why Chris Brown has still not been served with a 10 year restraining order keeping him away from Rihanna. This actually deeply offends my feminist sensibilities because by continuing to make up these excuses the management are actually revealing their belief that Rihanna - as a woman - only has the right to exist as the property of a man. Even Saudi Arabians are slowly moving away from that arcane point of view
The big news from the tour though is that Rihanna Barbados concert which was scheduled for November 1st (1/11/13) has been postponed indefinitely. Officially this has been done due to; "the technical difficulties associated with the transport of equipment." However in reality it is the management trying to put pressure on Rihanna's native Barbados over the future of Rihanna's career if indeed there is to be one.
As I've been saying throughout the last year of Rihanna's life including the recording of the less then great "Unapologetic" album, the resumption of the relationship with Chris Brown, the 777 Tour and this painfully long Diamonds World Tour has been all about destroying Rihanna's career. Mainly this would have been achieved through repeated delayed and generally poor concert performances and the political friction created by conflicts in Mali, Democratic Republic of the Congo, Kenya, Zimbabwe and Syria that should have put the death toll into the tens of thousands.
Fortunately very little of this actually materialised. However 2013 will be the first time in seven years that Rihanna has not released an album. Therefore through the indefinite postponement of the Barbados concert the management are giving Barbados a tough choice. They can either insist on rescheduling the concert meaning an extension of the Diamonds World Tour that not even I will be able to save Rihanna from. Alternatively they can settle for a special Rihanna concert in the spring/summer of 2014 that will form the part of a summer of festival appearances by Rihanna that will help rebuild her reputation in preparation for a new album in the autumn of 2014. Although I don't want to put words into their mouths Barbados seem to already be on the right track in this negotiation.
The reason why the management and their Commander in Chief, US President Barack Obama are still insisting that the Diamonds World Tour will drag on until November 15th (15/11/13) is that they hope I will spend the remaining time emotionally bemoaning the suffering and hardship that Rihanna has already had to endure. The idea being that the sorrow we all feel for Rihanna can be used as a metaphor for the plight of pre-dominantly Hispanic immigrants as they attempt to illegally enter the US creating a wave of empathy that helps drive immigration reform through the US Congress.
That Obama is relying on a wave of emotion rather then cold hard facts and technical detail to drive through immigration reform reveals his true motivation for seeking immigration reform. Rather then trying to create a fair system that address the complex issues of economic migration Obama is simply trying to make it easier for illegal immigrants to become US citizens.
That's because these roughly 11 million new citizens along with their friends and relatives will owe Obama a huge debt of gratitude that should translate into votes for Obama's Democrat Party successor at the 2016 Election. That is also why the majority of the opposition to Obama's immigration reforms has come not from the Republican Party but from the traditionally Democrat supporting trade union movement.
It is probably also worth pointing out that while a permanent work visa would be a reassurance Rihanna doesn't seem to be that interested in becoming a US citizen. A much more significant way that management are exerting control over Rihanna is through the Berdon LLP case and associated Inland Revenue Service (IRS) audit that has been going on for 2 years and counting.
This issue of IRS audits is already very shaky ground for the Obama administration.
14:10 on 27/10/13.
Edited at around 16:45 on 27/10/13 to add;
Whilst I was waking up at around 09:20 and making my first Tweet of the day ("Well hello sweet GMT. Oh how I've missed you!") Chris Brown and his knuckle dragging moron of a body guard Christopher Hollosy were getting involved in a fight outside the "W" hotel in Washington D.C, US. Police arrived at around 04:25 local (09:25 GMT) and the pair were arrested.
They have since both been charged with felony assault. As it is a Sunday this will normally mean that they are to be held overnight in (I assume) the protection wing of the County jail before being brought before a Court for a Habeus Corpus hearing first thing on Monday (28/10/13) morning. At that hearing the Judge will decide if there is a case to answer and if there is commit the pair to trial. The Judge will then decide whether to grant bail and although I'm not sure of Brown's exact assets he should be able to raise whatever amount of money that bail will be set at.
However as we all know Chris Brown is already on probation for his 2009 assault of Rihanna and has been found to have violated that probation on at least one occasion. He is also not a resident of Washington D.C. This would normally mean that he is not a good candidate for bail and instead faces being remanded in custody until his trial. Therefore I think it would be better if Brown is released into the custody of the State of California. They can then on Tuesday (29/10/13) free him on bail with electronic tag and the condition that he does not in anyway attempt to contact Rihanna until such a time as his probation can be reviewed.
That probation review hearing is going to be a bit of a head-scratcher all round because even with CIA protection and overcrowded prisons I'm really struggling to see how Brown can escape a short - like 6 months - prison sentence.
I should though point out though that by the time I was insulting him on Twitter the alleged fight had already happened and Brown was already in police custody.
Friday 25 October 2013
Operation Misery: Month 8, Week 3, Day 6.
Sub-titled:
May the Carpet Bombing Begin(!)
After six weeks in which great efforts have been made to suppress any and all information about Rihanna it seems we're about to enter a two week period in which a series of publicity stunts mean that she is going to be almost impossible to avoid;
The only problem with this is that the only part of US immigration policy that is actually relevant to Rihanna is the requirement that new citizens must give up their existing citizenship because the US doesn't currently allow its citizens to hold dual national status.
This is actually a very small and not in anyway controversial aspect of the immigration reforms that are being discussed so I'm at a loss as to what Obama hopes to achieve from all this apart from reminding everyone that he's easily made a fool of.
10:30 on 24/10/13 (UK date).
May the Carpet Bombing Begin(!)
After six weeks in which great efforts have been made to suppress any and all information about Rihanna it seems we're about to enter a two week period in which a series of publicity stunts mean that she is going to be almost impossible to avoid;
- Today Rihanna's fragrance "Rogue" gets its UK nationwide roll-out. Although this is strictly limited to the UK the Rouge fragrance was actually launched in early-September whilst Rihanna as in London, UK on her way to Macau, China. As a result it is extremely unlikely that the UK press will put in much of an effort to cover this nationwide roll-out. That means that it will be up to Rihanna to support the product by promoting it heavily on international social media such as Twitter/Instagram.
- Today in the US Rihanna's "Styled to Rock" TV Show launches in the US on the Bravo channel. This is not a new show and was actually first run in the UK last year where - to be charitable - it died on its ar*se peaking at a puny 750,000 viewers. Therefore to make sure that it doesn't meet the same fate in the US the Bravo network at its commercial partners have no doubt been promoting it heavily across multi-platforms in the US and Rihanna is no doubt under contractual obligation to promote the show via social media.
- Tomorrow in the UK the documentary about Rihanna's ill-fated "777" Tour finally airs in the UK on the "4Music" channel who have been heavily promoting it for weeks. Although this only a UK thing it actually presents me with a particular set of problems. For example it is scheduled for when I'd normally be eating dinner meaning that in order to watch it I would have to make a special effort. I'm not sure I want to do that because I have my own memories of the 777 Tour and few of them are pleasant. However by the same token knowing that the show is airing whilst I'm not watching could be enough to irritate me. Therefore I think the hope is that I will eventually cave and write an angry review detailing how far away from reality the documentary actually is.
- Over the weekend the autumn/winter edition of 032C magazine will be released globally featuring Rihanna on the cover. Although its published in Germany and has a tiny circulation 032C magazine has long marketed itself as reflecting the cutting edge of intellectual fashion cool. As a result all the cool kids must buy it and discuss it ironicaly in order to they are indeed the cool kids.
- On Monday (28/10/13) the Eminem single "Monster" featuring Rihanna will be getting pushed heavily across US radio stations music TV stations in order to ensure maximum airplay ahead of it's November 5th (5/11/13) release date. Although I believe its been quite some time since the pair actually met Rihanna recorded her part of this song whilst she was in London, UK on her way to Macau, China. The purpose here was to create the rumour that Rihanna had met up with me whilst she was in London. After all 'Eminem' has long been one of my pseudonyms which is probably why the actual Eminem went a bit funny for a few years back there. So not only will the effort to push the "Monster" single help put Rihanna's name out there in the US it also seems intended to promote discussion about the horrors that have been inflicted on Rihanna since the 2012 para-Olympic closing ceremony.
The only problem with this is that the only part of US immigration policy that is actually relevant to Rihanna is the requirement that new citizens must give up their existing citizenship because the US doesn't currently allow its citizens to hold dual national status.
This is actually a very small and not in anyway controversial aspect of the immigration reforms that are being discussed so I'm at a loss as to what Obama hopes to achieve from all this apart from reminding everyone that he's easily made a fool of.
10:30 on 24/10/13 (UK date).
Thursday 24 October 2013
Operation Misery: Month 8, Week 3, Day 5.
On Tuesday (22/10/13) Rihanna performed in Tel Aviv, Israel. I pretty much fully covered this concert on the day in a post that can be read below. However now we've had time to reflect it seems appropriate to re-summarise it;
Arriving in Israel only six hours before her scheduled stage time Rihanna eventually arrived on stage more then an hour late after being delayed by a trip to the Dead Sea. Apart from being an unessecery drain on Rihanna's time this photoshoot was intended to act as an excuse as to why Rihanna had arrived late after making an unscheduled trip to the Greek island of Crete. The idea being to demonstrate that the scenery around Israel's Dead Sea is different from the scenery on Israel's Mediterranean Sea coast line.
After eventually arriving on stage Rihanna worked her way through the standard set-list with all the enthusiasm of someone who wasn't quite sure what day it was or which country they were in. For this concert Rihanna dispensed with the usual costume changes and wore a single outfit throughout. Although people who worry about these sort of things will have noticed that Rihanna's choice of an all black outfit probably reflected her mood the only significance of this outfit was that it wasn't the standard costumes. The absence of the standard costumes and a very sparse, stripped back stage set was intended as a clear snub to Israel. The message being that Israel not worth the full Rihanna experience.
Amid much talk of Bat Mitzvah's one of the early reviews of the concert pointed out that Rihanna didn't refer to Israel as a nation at any point during her performance which was true. It went on to claim that Rihanna changed the lyric "All I See is Dollar Signs" in the song "Pour it Up" to "All I See is Palestine" which is probably less true. It did though reflect that the concert had been a big snub to Israel and was the sort of rumour that would have helped protect Rihanna from abuse from pro-Palestine campaigners.
If the concert itself wasn't enough of a snub almost immediately after her performance Rihanna left Israel for the Dominican Republic where she is set to perform on Saturday (26/10/13). Rihanna herself announced this on Twitter/Instagram by saying she woke up in Greece, went to the office in Israel and was leaving as soon as possible for the Dominican Republic.
On Wednesday (23/10/13) US Secretary of State John Kerry met the Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu to discuss amongst other things Israeli/Palestinian peace talks. Therefore Rihanna's CIA handlers/Live Nation (the management) were hoping that this snub of Israel would be viewed by Fatah who for some reason are representing the Palestinians in those peace talks as the US getting tough with Israel. The idea being that Fatah would be convinced that the US' tough stance would help stop Israeli settlement building meaning that this current round of talks are indeed a complete waste of time.
The problem though is that the management made sure that Rihanna was out of Israel long before the Kerry/Netanyahu meeting began. That's because the management knew that even though the meeting took place in Italy Netanyahu rather then Kerry would have had a much better idea of what was going on with Rihanna because nothing that's happened to Rihanna in the last year has fooled Israel in the slightest. So far from being a show of strength Rihanna's early departure from Israel was actually the US covering in fear because as always they know that diplomatically they are far outgunned by Israel.
As is becoming something of a trademark of his Presidency and indeed his life US Barack Obama was of course on hand with a bullsh*t excuse to cover up this failure. On this occasion the excuse was that Obama needed Rihanna in the Caribbean in order to help drive immigration reform through the US Congress. Personally I think it was a very bad idea for Obama to publicly admit that the reason he has allowed this operation to continue is because he thought he could get his pound of flesh out of it too.
Rihanna is of course in the Dominican Republic. I mean no offence to them but that really p*sses me off. That's because not only is Rihanna being denied the opportunity to play with some of the best in the business (myself included) she isn't even the Caribbean island she calls home.
18:20 on 24/10/13.
Arriving in Israel only six hours before her scheduled stage time Rihanna eventually arrived on stage more then an hour late after being delayed by a trip to the Dead Sea. Apart from being an unessecery drain on Rihanna's time this photoshoot was intended to act as an excuse as to why Rihanna had arrived late after making an unscheduled trip to the Greek island of Crete. The idea being to demonstrate that the scenery around Israel's Dead Sea is different from the scenery on Israel's Mediterranean Sea coast line.
After eventually arriving on stage Rihanna worked her way through the standard set-list with all the enthusiasm of someone who wasn't quite sure what day it was or which country they were in. For this concert Rihanna dispensed with the usual costume changes and wore a single outfit throughout. Although people who worry about these sort of things will have noticed that Rihanna's choice of an all black outfit probably reflected her mood the only significance of this outfit was that it wasn't the standard costumes. The absence of the standard costumes and a very sparse, stripped back stage set was intended as a clear snub to Israel. The message being that Israel not worth the full Rihanna experience.
Amid much talk of Bat Mitzvah's one of the early reviews of the concert pointed out that Rihanna didn't refer to Israel as a nation at any point during her performance which was true. It went on to claim that Rihanna changed the lyric "All I See is Dollar Signs" in the song "Pour it Up" to "All I See is Palestine" which is probably less true. It did though reflect that the concert had been a big snub to Israel and was the sort of rumour that would have helped protect Rihanna from abuse from pro-Palestine campaigners.
If the concert itself wasn't enough of a snub almost immediately after her performance Rihanna left Israel for the Dominican Republic where she is set to perform on Saturday (26/10/13). Rihanna herself announced this on Twitter/Instagram by saying she woke up in Greece, went to the office in Israel and was leaving as soon as possible for the Dominican Republic.
On Wednesday (23/10/13) US Secretary of State John Kerry met the Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu to discuss amongst other things Israeli/Palestinian peace talks. Therefore Rihanna's CIA handlers/Live Nation (the management) were hoping that this snub of Israel would be viewed by Fatah who for some reason are representing the Palestinians in those peace talks as the US getting tough with Israel. The idea being that Fatah would be convinced that the US' tough stance would help stop Israeli settlement building meaning that this current round of talks are indeed a complete waste of time.
The problem though is that the management made sure that Rihanna was out of Israel long before the Kerry/Netanyahu meeting began. That's because the management knew that even though the meeting took place in Italy Netanyahu rather then Kerry would have had a much better idea of what was going on with Rihanna because nothing that's happened to Rihanna in the last year has fooled Israel in the slightest. So far from being a show of strength Rihanna's early departure from Israel was actually the US covering in fear because as always they know that diplomatically they are far outgunned by Israel.
As is becoming something of a trademark of his Presidency and indeed his life US Barack Obama was of course on hand with a bullsh*t excuse to cover up this failure. On this occasion the excuse was that Obama needed Rihanna in the Caribbean in order to help drive immigration reform through the US Congress. Personally I think it was a very bad idea for Obama to publicly admit that the reason he has allowed this operation to continue is because he thought he could get his pound of flesh out of it too.
Rihanna is of course in the Dominican Republic. I mean no offence to them but that really p*sses me off. That's because not only is Rihanna being denied the opportunity to play with some of the best in the business (myself included) she isn't even the Caribbean island she calls home.
18:20 on 24/10/13.
Tuesday 22 October 2013
Operation Misery: Month 8, Week 3, Day 3.
Today (22/10/13) Rihanna performed in Tel Aviv, Israel just some 'six' hours after arriving in the country. Although it would have been more sensible for Rihanna to use those precious few moments preparing for her concert she was instead dragged off for a photoshoot at the Dead Sea in what was p*ss poor attempt to justify why she was arriving from the Greek island of Crete rather then the United Arab Emirates (UAE) a day earlier.
Needless to say Rihanna epically f*cked up arriving on stage some 90+ minutes after her scheduled stage time. As of yet I do not know the exact running order of the standard set-list but I gather Rihanna was wearing one outfit throughout her performance. If I was being charitable I would say this ensemble of black trousers, skirt, and long black mesh veil attached to a China style headpiece which was eventually stripped down to just a black sports-bra style top/hotpants/headpiece combo made it look as though Rihanna had got dressed in the dark.
That is of course charitable because the phrase; "Looks like they got dressed in the dark" is owned outright by follow Roc Nation 'artist' Kanye West. Therefore Rihanna's general demeanour on stage could possibly be explained away by Kim Kardashian posting on Twitter/Instagram a picture of herself wearing an engagement ring in front of an electronic scoreboard sign bearing the slogan "Will You Marry Me?" Now I'm not a detective but I think this might indicate that Kanye West and Kim Kardashian might be getting married. However I think Kanye West's accountant might have something to say about that in the next 72 days.
Anyway even though Rihanna was epically late and they had to close most of the major roads in their capital city during a municipal election the Israelis were desperate for this concert to go ahead. That's because in the original script Rihanna's UAE concert on Saturday (19/10/13) was merely to provide an excuse to drive Rihanna to a full-scale emotional and psychological breakdown while she was in the country. As such Israel was determined they would be the next nation Rihanna would visit so she could be provided with a safe space to rest and recover from her ordeal.
Therefore I suppose I should probably start this review of Rihanna's Israel concert by talking about her time in the UAE. The great news is that Rihanna's scheduled breakdown did not even come close to materialising. However this was not from a lack of trying on the parts of both Rihanna's CIA handlers/Live Nation (the management) and the local hosts.
And at 22:05 on 22/10/13 I'll tell you all about that after I just step suspiciously outside for a moment.
Edited at around 22:25 on 22/10/13 to add; Seriously there used to be a time when people were allowed to smoke in offices;
The main part of the management and the local host's effort to drive Rihanna to a breakdown involved making sure that she spent the maximum amount of time as possible in the country. Therefore Rihanna arrived in the very early hours of Saturday (19/10/12) and was booked to remain there until this morning. However something came up and I'll get to that later.
The second part of the management and the local hosts plan was scheduling two incredibly stupid excursions for Rihanna. The first of these was on Saturday morning which saw Rihanna visit a western-style water park. The plan here was for Rihanna and her friends to be photographed cavorting around in skimpy bathing costumes and Rihanna duly obliged posting said pictures on Twitter/Instagram. In a strictly Sunni Islamic country where women are expected to fully cover their bodies if they even dare leave their husbands home this was intended to provoke an extremely hostile backlash. If you want to know exactly how "hostile" think Benghazi.
The other extremely poor choice of an excursion was to the Sheikh Zayed Mosque. The effect of that particular visit was intended to be twofold;
Firstly although she strictly adhered to 'Islamic' modesty standards the mere act of Rihanna being photographed at this religious site (for example non-Muslims aren't even allowed into Mecca) would be enough to cause massive offence to Muslim extremists prompting an extremely hostile backlash against Rihanna. If that wasn't enough the sight of Rihanna covering her hair whilst visiting a Mosque was enough to cause massive offence to Christian extremists prompting an extremely hostile backlash against Rihanna who they accused of promoting Islam. As a result pretty much every comment I've read about Rihanna on social media (Twitter/Instagram) since Saturday has been of the extremely angry, insulting and offensive nature that only a religious zealot can truly achieve.
The second intended effect of inviting Rihanna to the Sheikh Zayed Mosque was to produce a picture of Rihanna "standing firm in front of the [any] Mosque." That is because most of the stress placed on Rihanna during Sunday (20/10/13) was supposed to be being generated by me being placed under ceaseless attack by my neighbours and their friends and associates otherwise known as "The Police." For reasons that still make no sense to me the address of those neighbours is known as 'the Mosque."
Whatever you call it though the property is owned by a - I suppose "criminal entity" is the correct term. This criminal entity was very active during the Croydon branch of the UK's August 2011 riots burning down occupied properties in the hope that they could buy the fire damaged sites at a knock-down price in order to re-develop them for a huge profit. Therefore the image of Rihanna standing firm in front of 'the Mosque' was supposed to give the entirely false impression that Rihanna fully supported this little, local criminal entity. As such Rihanna jolly well deserves all the punishment she gets because Rihanna was totally responsible for the UK's August 2011 riots(!).
At around the time Rihanna left the UAE in the early hours of Monday (21/10/13) on an emergency detour to the Greek island of Crete the Sheikh Zayed Mosque released a statement announcing that Rihanna had been thrown out after entering the compound and taking photographs without permission. Apart from being a coded reference to the fact that Rihanna had left the UAE this was the UAE's - government is not the right word - trying to shore up domestic support. Firstly it was intended to give the entirely false impression that it hadn't given its full prior permission for Rihanna's photoshoot. Secondly it was intended to give the entirely false impression that it was the UAE's choice that Rihanna had left a day early.
Rihanna's management of course agreed to go along with this statement because it was so shrill that it made it quite clear that the UAE most certainly did not given permission for Rihanna to leave a day early. Therefore the US was hoping to spin this as them bravely, finally standing up to the Gulf Monarchs. The problem was that everybody in the business (see the Republic of Ireland for details) already knew full well that Rihanna was being diverted to Greece because the management were having trouble deciphering this incredible story of a blond haired, blue eyed white girl who had been bravely rescued by Greek police from a Roma Gypsy family who had stolen her as a baby.
At around 23:10 on 22/10/13 this rather neatly brings me on to the bit of my job I hate the most - the tensions in the relationship between Rihanna and Melissa Forde. Therefore it seems like an appropriate time for me to leave my partially prepared statement, smoke a little more, open another bottle of wine and basically just try and wing it.
Edited at around 00:35 on 23/10/13 to add: Well this is going to be s*t;
The reason why I consider the tensions between Rihanna and Melissa Forde to be the worst part of my job is that because unlike Rihanna's repeated, forced reunions with Chris Brown her relationship with Melissa Forde strikes me as being completely genuine. In my experience it is best to let this type of friendship run it's natural course without over-analysing it. Or having someone over-analyse it on the Internet for you. As the case may be.
Anyway somewhere back there in one of those distant pasts Rihanna and Melissa Forde had a big bust up that led to Ms Forde being sent home from the tour. Rather then being anything to do with Ms Forde's blatant and massive homosexuality this argument was all about whether Rihanna should follow my tactical plan for this third and final leg of the Diamonds World Tour or follow Ms Forde's plan. As this sort of thing is very much my area of expertise it goes without saying that Ms Forde lost.*
After something of an air clearing session though the relationship between the two began to improve. A large part of this was Rihanna's decision to send Ms Forde to London in order to prove a point to the South Africans. Unfortunately Melissa Forde kind of lost her sh*t and got on the phone to Rihanna begging to come to South Africa. This caused more then 100 types of trouble so Rihanna paid for Ms Forde to fly commercial to Crete because there was no point bringing that sort of un-settlement to the UAE.
However being determined to look like an idiot whilst she was flying to Crete Melissa Forde decided to make a great deal of a book of Ancient Greek proverbs that someone (I honestly don't know who) had given her to read on the plane. Possibly because of the blatant sarcasm of this 'gift' or her annoyance at being forced to bang her knees against the seat in front Ms Forde decided to share exerts of this book on Twitter/Instagram.
I am though arrogant enough to think that Ms Forde was so keen to share with us the fact she'd been sent to fly ahead to Crete alone was because she thought the announcement about a blond haired, blue eyed white girl being saved from a Roma Gypsy family in Greece disproved my assertion that Kate McCann's claim that her daughter Madeline had being kidnapped by - I believe now a Saudi Arabian white slavery ring - rather then simply killed by an accidental sedative overdose was just the words of a doctor trying to cover up her mistake. Little did Ms Forde realise that there's a lot more depth to the 'Maria' story then that.
Of course if the management hadn't insisted on sending Rihanna to Crete or if Rihanna had bothered to tell me that she'd left the UAE I would have spent most of Monday talking your ears off about the 'Westside Story." However because as we all know the management are far more intelligent, cunning and downright sexy then you or I, I will say simply this;
"Fu*king Hell!! That's got to be the first time in history European fascism has prevented someone escaping to Israel!!!"
Honestly(!) 23:59 on 22/10/13 (UK date.)
* I do though reserve the right to mock Melissa Forde about her massive and blatant homosexuality on Twitter anytime I like. After all it's not what we're actually arguing about.
Needless to say Rihanna epically f*cked up arriving on stage some 90+ minutes after her scheduled stage time. As of yet I do not know the exact running order of the standard set-list but I gather Rihanna was wearing one outfit throughout her performance. If I was being charitable I would say this ensemble of black trousers, skirt, and long black mesh veil attached to a China style headpiece which was eventually stripped down to just a black sports-bra style top/hotpants/headpiece combo made it look as though Rihanna had got dressed in the dark.
That is of course charitable because the phrase; "Looks like they got dressed in the dark" is owned outright by follow Roc Nation 'artist' Kanye West. Therefore Rihanna's general demeanour on stage could possibly be explained away by Kim Kardashian posting on Twitter/Instagram a picture of herself wearing an engagement ring in front of an electronic scoreboard sign bearing the slogan "Will You Marry Me?" Now I'm not a detective but I think this might indicate that Kanye West and Kim Kardashian might be getting married. However I think Kanye West's accountant might have something to say about that in the next 72 days.
Anyway even though Rihanna was epically late and they had to close most of the major roads in their capital city during a municipal election the Israelis were desperate for this concert to go ahead. That's because in the original script Rihanna's UAE concert on Saturday (19/10/13) was merely to provide an excuse to drive Rihanna to a full-scale emotional and psychological breakdown while she was in the country. As such Israel was determined they would be the next nation Rihanna would visit so she could be provided with a safe space to rest and recover from her ordeal.
Therefore I suppose I should probably start this review of Rihanna's Israel concert by talking about her time in the UAE. The great news is that Rihanna's scheduled breakdown did not even come close to materialising. However this was not from a lack of trying on the parts of both Rihanna's CIA handlers/Live Nation (the management) and the local hosts.
And at 22:05 on 22/10/13 I'll tell you all about that after I just step suspiciously outside for a moment.
Edited at around 22:25 on 22/10/13 to add; Seriously there used to be a time when people were allowed to smoke in offices;
The main part of the management and the local host's effort to drive Rihanna to a breakdown involved making sure that she spent the maximum amount of time as possible in the country. Therefore Rihanna arrived in the very early hours of Saturday (19/10/12) and was booked to remain there until this morning. However something came up and I'll get to that later.
The second part of the management and the local hosts plan was scheduling two incredibly stupid excursions for Rihanna. The first of these was on Saturday morning which saw Rihanna visit a western-style water park. The plan here was for Rihanna and her friends to be photographed cavorting around in skimpy bathing costumes and Rihanna duly obliged posting said pictures on Twitter/Instagram. In a strictly Sunni Islamic country where women are expected to fully cover their bodies if they even dare leave their husbands home this was intended to provoke an extremely hostile backlash. If you want to know exactly how "hostile" think Benghazi.
The other extremely poor choice of an excursion was to the Sheikh Zayed Mosque. The effect of that particular visit was intended to be twofold;
Firstly although she strictly adhered to 'Islamic' modesty standards the mere act of Rihanna being photographed at this religious site (for example non-Muslims aren't even allowed into Mecca) would be enough to cause massive offence to Muslim extremists prompting an extremely hostile backlash against Rihanna. If that wasn't enough the sight of Rihanna covering her hair whilst visiting a Mosque was enough to cause massive offence to Christian extremists prompting an extremely hostile backlash against Rihanna who they accused of promoting Islam. As a result pretty much every comment I've read about Rihanna on social media (Twitter/Instagram) since Saturday has been of the extremely angry, insulting and offensive nature that only a religious zealot can truly achieve.
The second intended effect of inviting Rihanna to the Sheikh Zayed Mosque was to produce a picture of Rihanna "standing firm in front of the [any] Mosque." That is because most of the stress placed on Rihanna during Sunday (20/10/13) was supposed to be being generated by me being placed under ceaseless attack by my neighbours and their friends and associates otherwise known as "The Police." For reasons that still make no sense to me the address of those neighbours is known as 'the Mosque."
Whatever you call it though the property is owned by a - I suppose "criminal entity" is the correct term. This criminal entity was very active during the Croydon branch of the UK's August 2011 riots burning down occupied properties in the hope that they could buy the fire damaged sites at a knock-down price in order to re-develop them for a huge profit. Therefore the image of Rihanna standing firm in front of 'the Mosque' was supposed to give the entirely false impression that Rihanna fully supported this little, local criminal entity. As such Rihanna jolly well deserves all the punishment she gets because Rihanna was totally responsible for the UK's August 2011 riots(!).
At around the time Rihanna left the UAE in the early hours of Monday (21/10/13) on an emergency detour to the Greek island of Crete the Sheikh Zayed Mosque released a statement announcing that Rihanna had been thrown out after entering the compound and taking photographs without permission. Apart from being a coded reference to the fact that Rihanna had left the UAE this was the UAE's - government is not the right word - trying to shore up domestic support. Firstly it was intended to give the entirely false impression that it hadn't given its full prior permission for Rihanna's photoshoot. Secondly it was intended to give the entirely false impression that it was the UAE's choice that Rihanna had left a day early.
Rihanna's management of course agreed to go along with this statement because it was so shrill that it made it quite clear that the UAE most certainly did not given permission for Rihanna to leave a day early. Therefore the US was hoping to spin this as them bravely, finally standing up to the Gulf Monarchs. The problem was that everybody in the business (see the Republic of Ireland for details) already knew full well that Rihanna was being diverted to Greece because the management were having trouble deciphering this incredible story of a blond haired, blue eyed white girl who had been bravely rescued by Greek police from a Roma Gypsy family who had stolen her as a baby.
At around 23:10 on 22/10/13 this rather neatly brings me on to the bit of my job I hate the most - the tensions in the relationship between Rihanna and Melissa Forde. Therefore it seems like an appropriate time for me to leave my partially prepared statement, smoke a little more, open another bottle of wine and basically just try and wing it.
Edited at around 00:35 on 23/10/13 to add: Well this is going to be s*t;
The reason why I consider the tensions between Rihanna and Melissa Forde to be the worst part of my job is that because unlike Rihanna's repeated, forced reunions with Chris Brown her relationship with Melissa Forde strikes me as being completely genuine. In my experience it is best to let this type of friendship run it's natural course without over-analysing it. Or having someone over-analyse it on the Internet for you. As the case may be.
Anyway somewhere back there in one of those distant pasts Rihanna and Melissa Forde had a big bust up that led to Ms Forde being sent home from the tour. Rather then being anything to do with Ms Forde's blatant and massive homosexuality this argument was all about whether Rihanna should follow my tactical plan for this third and final leg of the Diamonds World Tour or follow Ms Forde's plan. As this sort of thing is very much my area of expertise it goes without saying that Ms Forde lost.*
After something of an air clearing session though the relationship between the two began to improve. A large part of this was Rihanna's decision to send Ms Forde to London in order to prove a point to the South Africans. Unfortunately Melissa Forde kind of lost her sh*t and got on the phone to Rihanna begging to come to South Africa. This caused more then 100 types of trouble so Rihanna paid for Ms Forde to fly commercial to Crete because there was no point bringing that sort of un-settlement to the UAE.
However being determined to look like an idiot whilst she was flying to Crete Melissa Forde decided to make a great deal of a book of Ancient Greek proverbs that someone (I honestly don't know who) had given her to read on the plane. Possibly because of the blatant sarcasm of this 'gift' or her annoyance at being forced to bang her knees against the seat in front Ms Forde decided to share exerts of this book on Twitter/Instagram.
I am though arrogant enough to think that Ms Forde was so keen to share with us the fact she'd been sent to fly ahead to Crete alone was because she thought the announcement about a blond haired, blue eyed white girl being saved from a Roma Gypsy family in Greece disproved my assertion that Kate McCann's claim that her daughter Madeline had being kidnapped by - I believe now a Saudi Arabian white slavery ring - rather then simply killed by an accidental sedative overdose was just the words of a doctor trying to cover up her mistake. Little did Ms Forde realise that there's a lot more depth to the 'Maria' story then that.
Of course if the management hadn't insisted on sending Rihanna to Crete or if Rihanna had bothered to tell me that she'd left the UAE I would have spent most of Monday talking your ears off about the 'Westside Story." However because as we all know the management are far more intelligent, cunning and downright sexy then you or I, I will say simply this;
"Fu*king Hell!! That's got to be the first time in history European fascism has prevented someone escaping to Israel!!!"
Honestly(!) 23:59 on 22/10/13 (UK date.)
* I do though reserve the right to mock Melissa Forde about her massive and blatant homosexuality on Twitter anytime I like. After all it's not what we're actually arguing about.
Saturday 19 October 2013
Operation Misery: Month 8, Week 2, Day 7.
Today Rihanna has performed her concert in Abu Dhabi in the United Arab Emirates (UAE). As I've been saying since pretty much the date was announced the artistic/entertainment significance of this concert pales into insignificance compared with its political purpose. The idea of that was to drive Rihanna into a fullscale emotional meltdown whilst she is in the UAE in order to allow Rihanna's CIA handlers/Live Nation (the managment) to restore the honour to the Gulf Monarchs that Rihanna is supposed to have taken from them. However what exactly Rihanna or even the management did wrong is still a bit of a mystery.
One of the main ways that the management intended to cause Rihanna a great deal of stress was by causing me a great deal of stress. The idea being that I get p*ssed off and start shouting at Rihanna. It goes without saying then that it has been almost impossible for me to get good quality information about the concert. For example the venue (du Arena) has on its website a clock counting down the seconds until Rihanna was scheduled to be on stage. The problem was that it was completely wrong and was instead counting down to the start of the Music Of Black Origin (MOBO) awards that are currently taking place in Glasgow, UK. No doubt the intention was that the snub of not winning a MOBO along with all the award show gossip would only add to Rihanna's stress levels. However it must be said that with the possible exception of Tinie Tempah if Rihanna considers any of those attending the MOBO's her peers then Rihanna is really selling herself short.
Another attempt to cause Rihanna the maximum stress while she is in the UAE has come from that European Monarchy Belgium where a plane carrying 10 parachutists has crashed killing all on board including the pilot. The idea being that with everyone waiting with baited breath to find out when Rihanna would fly into the UAE this would prompt me to point out Rihanna hadn't been killed in a plane crash. Rihanna's detractors - Teyana Taylor springs to mind immediately - would then seize on this to point out that Rihanna's 'Body Count' has risen. There is already some confusion about whether Rihanna's 'Body Count' refers to the number of people she has sex or the number of people who've been killed since the start of this tour so this was intended to both promote discussion about promiscuity (in Gulf nations any woman who consents to any form of sex is considered a whore) while leaving Rihanna with some unpleasant facts to dwell on.
Rihanna's better then that though and ended up taking to the stage between 18:00-18:30 (22:00-22:30 local). Obviously not knowing what time Rihanna was supposed to be on stage I cannot comment on whether this was early or late but the impression I get is that it was right on time. Rihanna then put in what even the local press are conceding was an excellent performance of the usual set-list although I'm not sure of the exact running order. The stage set was of course different. The intention being that outsiders would be forced to fight their way through the information blackout to find out if there was any significance to this. Apart from the managment trying to give the Emirs yet another gift there wasn't.
In order to adhere to Islamic dress codes/modesty standards that are strictly enforced in the UAE Rihanna obviously dispensed with the usual costumes and instead wore a single outfit. This consisted of loose fitting white trousers, a relatively loose white top with shoulder straps and a white hat with a long fabric train to cover up her hair. The only thing noticeable about this is that it indicates that the management are so subservient to the Emirs that they didn't even dare raise the issue of modesty standards. The fact that Rihanna did expose her arms though will be criticised loudly on social media throughout her stay in the UAE and we're all tensely waiting to see whether the UAE's Monarch will dispatch Salafi protesters to Rihanna's hotel to harass her further.
Most of the harassment of Rihanna will of course will take place on Sunday (20/10/13) while Rihanna's in the UAE with no concert to prepare for and I've had a very stressful day scheduled for me. The problem though is that it now seems extremely unlikely that Rihanna will experience any sort of emotional break down whilst she's in the UAE because Rihanna has certainly got a lot to be proud of at the moment. Even the Belgians have been forced to admit that this plan is a failure by blaming the wings falling off the aircraft for their plane crash.
Therefore most people in the business are currently casually waiting to see whether the management will continue to scrape their nose across the asphalt in subservience to the Emirs or simply give up and let Rihanna head on to Israel. After all the only thing that would more humiliating for the management then being seen to lack the courage to say no to the Emirs would be being seen to be too incompetent to succeed in the task the Emirs have demanded of them.
21:15 on 19/10/13.
One of the main ways that the management intended to cause Rihanna a great deal of stress was by causing me a great deal of stress. The idea being that I get p*ssed off and start shouting at Rihanna. It goes without saying then that it has been almost impossible for me to get good quality information about the concert. For example the venue (du Arena) has on its website a clock counting down the seconds until Rihanna was scheduled to be on stage. The problem was that it was completely wrong and was instead counting down to the start of the Music Of Black Origin (MOBO) awards that are currently taking place in Glasgow, UK. No doubt the intention was that the snub of not winning a MOBO along with all the award show gossip would only add to Rihanna's stress levels. However it must be said that with the possible exception of Tinie Tempah if Rihanna considers any of those attending the MOBO's her peers then Rihanna is really selling herself short.
Another attempt to cause Rihanna the maximum stress while she is in the UAE has come from that European Monarchy Belgium where a plane carrying 10 parachutists has crashed killing all on board including the pilot. The idea being that with everyone waiting with baited breath to find out when Rihanna would fly into the UAE this would prompt me to point out Rihanna hadn't been killed in a plane crash. Rihanna's detractors - Teyana Taylor springs to mind immediately - would then seize on this to point out that Rihanna's 'Body Count' has risen. There is already some confusion about whether Rihanna's 'Body Count' refers to the number of people she has sex or the number of people who've been killed since the start of this tour so this was intended to both promote discussion about promiscuity (in Gulf nations any woman who consents to any form of sex is considered a whore) while leaving Rihanna with some unpleasant facts to dwell on.
Rihanna's better then that though and ended up taking to the stage between 18:00-18:30 (22:00-22:30 local). Obviously not knowing what time Rihanna was supposed to be on stage I cannot comment on whether this was early or late but the impression I get is that it was right on time. Rihanna then put in what even the local press are conceding was an excellent performance of the usual set-list although I'm not sure of the exact running order. The stage set was of course different. The intention being that outsiders would be forced to fight their way through the information blackout to find out if there was any significance to this. Apart from the managment trying to give the Emirs yet another gift there wasn't.
In order to adhere to Islamic dress codes/modesty standards that are strictly enforced in the UAE Rihanna obviously dispensed with the usual costumes and instead wore a single outfit. This consisted of loose fitting white trousers, a relatively loose white top with shoulder straps and a white hat with a long fabric train to cover up her hair. The only thing noticeable about this is that it indicates that the management are so subservient to the Emirs that they didn't even dare raise the issue of modesty standards. The fact that Rihanna did expose her arms though will be criticised loudly on social media throughout her stay in the UAE and we're all tensely waiting to see whether the UAE's Monarch will dispatch Salafi protesters to Rihanna's hotel to harass her further.
Most of the harassment of Rihanna will of course will take place on Sunday (20/10/13) while Rihanna's in the UAE with no concert to prepare for and I've had a very stressful day scheduled for me. The problem though is that it now seems extremely unlikely that Rihanna will experience any sort of emotional break down whilst she's in the UAE because Rihanna has certainly got a lot to be proud of at the moment. Even the Belgians have been forced to admit that this plan is a failure by blaming the wings falling off the aircraft for their plane crash.
Therefore most people in the business are currently casually waiting to see whether the management will continue to scrape their nose across the asphalt in subservience to the Emirs or simply give up and let Rihanna head on to Israel. After all the only thing that would more humiliating for the management then being seen to lack the courage to say no to the Emirs would be being seen to be too incompetent to succeed in the task the Emirs have demanded of them.
21:15 on 19/10/13.
Thursday 17 October 2013
Operation Misery: Month 8, Week 2, Day 6.
Yesterday (16/10/13) Rihanna performed her second South African concert in Cape Town. Although I'm trying to find a way to slip in the phrase "tired and emotional" I feel I pretty much covered this here; http://watchitdie.blogspot.co.uk/2013/10/operation-misery-month-8-week-2-day-4.html
Despite the lateness of the hour I still think this was a very strong performance by Rihanna because as always her CIA handlers/Live Nation (the management) had been doing their best to make sure that Rihanna was not only tired and emotional but a bit stoned and drunk.
As far as I'm concerned the key pressure was me. Specifically the way that I behaved like a coked up d*ckhead on Twitter by posing the question of whether Rihanna's failure to mention that last week she was in Sydney, Australia rather then Johannesburg, South Africa counted as a lie. I went on to ask that if people agreed with me that a lie of omission does indeed count as a lie whether or not Rihanna should apologise?
I am still waiting for a response but in the meantime I decided that this was actually all part of the management's plan. Obviously there are the already stated reasons of trying to con the South African government into thinking they were clever for committing to the Diamonds World Tour and ensuring that Rihanna is as tired and emotional as possible for her trip to the United Arab Emirates (UAE). Then there was the strongly implied reason of making it appear as though the UK Crown had great access to Rihanna through the Commonwealth Realm of Australia although we are still waiting for the hidden camera footage. However the new reason I decided on was that it was obviously to offend me for some emotional reason I still need to come to terms with. Whether it was damage to my pride, reputation, jealously or betrayal this offence would force me to shout at Rihanna. Then because she feels that there is nothing she could have possibly done about it she shouts back at me and all of a sudden everyone's shouting and no-one's happy.
Although it's not strictly speaking relevant this does provide me with a neat segway into my general communication problems with Rihanna. You see because she's obviously far too important to in any way acknowledge my existence in public we are forced to carry out all our communications in public. Given the nature of Rihanna's current predicament and my, well, life this makes clear communication somewhat difficult meaning we have to use codes. This presents me with a number of problems;
The first of these is that I may have had a psychiatric break, failed to notice and now just be stalking Rihanna. Beyond that though I've got no way of knowing if she is talented enough to realise it's a code and if she does whether she understands it. Another problem I've suddenly noticed is that Rihanna has got so many fans you might call her the Pied Piper. Sadly some of Rihanna's fans also appear to have access to social media such as Twitter/Instagram but might not realise the severity of her current predicament so could read my social media comments, mis-interperet them and then make a lot of noise. For example by pointing out that Wembley Stadium was under capacity for the England V Poland game I was not insulting Rihanna. The racism storm surrounding Croydon born England manager Roy Hodgson's half-time team talk suggests that a few people would like me to expand on what I was actually doing.
Another key pressure on Rihanna could have been Chris Brown's decision to release a song in which he claimed one of his ex-girlfriends (the name Rihanna was implied) had had sex with most of the men in the music industry. This of course isn't true because sadly part of the reason Rihanna keeps coming back to Chris Brown is that she is too much of a romantic soul to be sexually promiscuous. However the management's reason for this desperate little publicity stunt was twofold;
Firstly it gives the impression that although Chris Brown is still desperately hurting there is no way Rihanna would take him back after such a slight. Therefore there is no need to re-instate Chris Brown's restraining order even though it has been conceded that he needs to repeat his punishment for the 2009 beating of Rihanna.
Secondly it puts the idea in minds of Rihanna's (I prefer the term "consumer" because "Guinness Virgins" would be considered too rude) that she is having sex with absolutely everyone in the music industry. Therefore everytime Rihanna is photographed with someone from the music industry the rumours will start that they've had s-e-x. For example I believe that Rihanna was gang-banged by all of "One Direction" in Melbourne, Australia and done up the arse in Sydney by Jason Derulo all while her mother watched. As Rihanna is (as far as I know) currently in South Africa where around 1 in 5 people are HIV+ these rumours spread new rumours about well HIV/AIDS, the entire concept of sexual health and Rihanna's menstrual cycle which I'm sure plays a highly important role in global climate.
The main pressure on Rihanna though was Tuesday's (15/10/13) apparent visit to London, UK by two members of Rihanna's core tour party/social circle. I believe these two individuals were Rihanna's cousin who is known to me only as @leleboo246 and Rihanna's long-term friend Melissa Forde (@mforde11). While I dispute there is ever a good time for Rihanna or any of her known associates to visit the UK Tuesday would have been a particularly bad day for the simple reason that Rihanna and her tour were in a whole different hemisphere. This would have been especially stressful for Melissa Forde because it appeared that her role as Rihanna's tour photographer has been quite easily filled by some f*ckwits going by the handle @GnLStudios.
00:15 on 18/10/13 (UK date) but there will be more (hopefully)
Edited at around 00:30 on 18/10/13 (UK date) to add;
Apart from the hemispherical issues Tuesday's trip to London would have been stressful on Rihanna's known associates because between the Madeline McCann case, the Jimmy Savile interviews and the 'plebgate' affair they may well have got the impression that large sections of this country do indeed revolve around me. That might somewhat challenge their belief that I'm not worth Rihanna's time. Added to that the England national football team were playing the Polish national football team in a must win World Cup group game. As they were both born on a small island and then raised in a nation obsessed with 'hand-egg' it is unlikely they would have had much to say on an issue that everybody in the UK must have an opinion on. Fortunately though England did manage to overcome the odds and qualify for Brazil 2014.
It was pretty obvious to even the most stupid monkey then that Rihanna's known associates had been sent to London to give the South Africans the impression that the UK was in possession of some amazing secret that they must beg permission for. Unfortunately though this was so obvious that the UK got so worried that the US might be using the issue to turn the South Africans off the UK in favour of the US that they panicked. So because they're both being cunts the US then transferred Melissa Forde to South Africa in order to reassure their UK partners. @leleboo246's whereabouts are still unknown.
South Africa's response to all this of course was the rather horrific rape and murder of two pre-pubescent girls in a Johannesburg township on Tuesday before dawn. For some reason the residents of the township got a bit angry about this and ran riot in one of Johannesburg's gated communities apparently looting a few shops as they went. As this was South Africa's response it would be unwise for me to go into too much detail lest I end up calling for the re-introduction of apartheid.
However the fact that the two girls were cousins was clearly a reference to the missing members of Rihanna's core tour party/social circle. The fact they were from Mozambique was a clear reference to immigration which is apparently a hot topic these days. The rioting and looting was of course a reference to the managements assertion that Rihanna is being punished for causing the UK's August 2011 riots.
I'm going to be charitable and assume the South Africans were mocking that claim.
Despite the lateness of the hour I still think this was a very strong performance by Rihanna because as always her CIA handlers/Live Nation (the management) had been doing their best to make sure that Rihanna was not only tired and emotional but a bit stoned and drunk.
As far as I'm concerned the key pressure was me. Specifically the way that I behaved like a coked up d*ckhead on Twitter by posing the question of whether Rihanna's failure to mention that last week she was in Sydney, Australia rather then Johannesburg, South Africa counted as a lie. I went on to ask that if people agreed with me that a lie of omission does indeed count as a lie whether or not Rihanna should apologise?
I am still waiting for a response but in the meantime I decided that this was actually all part of the management's plan. Obviously there are the already stated reasons of trying to con the South African government into thinking they were clever for committing to the Diamonds World Tour and ensuring that Rihanna is as tired and emotional as possible for her trip to the United Arab Emirates (UAE). Then there was the strongly implied reason of making it appear as though the UK Crown had great access to Rihanna through the Commonwealth Realm of Australia although we are still waiting for the hidden camera footage. However the new reason I decided on was that it was obviously to offend me for some emotional reason I still need to come to terms with. Whether it was damage to my pride, reputation, jealously or betrayal this offence would force me to shout at Rihanna. Then because she feels that there is nothing she could have possibly done about it she shouts back at me and all of a sudden everyone's shouting and no-one's happy.
Although it's not strictly speaking relevant this does provide me with a neat segway into my general communication problems with Rihanna. You see because she's obviously far too important to in any way acknowledge my existence in public we are forced to carry out all our communications in public. Given the nature of Rihanna's current predicament and my, well, life this makes clear communication somewhat difficult meaning we have to use codes. This presents me with a number of problems;
The first of these is that I may have had a psychiatric break, failed to notice and now just be stalking Rihanna. Beyond that though I've got no way of knowing if she is talented enough to realise it's a code and if she does whether she understands it. Another problem I've suddenly noticed is that Rihanna has got so many fans you might call her the Pied Piper. Sadly some of Rihanna's fans also appear to have access to social media such as Twitter/Instagram but might not realise the severity of her current predicament so could read my social media comments, mis-interperet them and then make a lot of noise. For example by pointing out that Wembley Stadium was under capacity for the England V Poland game I was not insulting Rihanna. The racism storm surrounding Croydon born England manager Roy Hodgson's half-time team talk suggests that a few people would like me to expand on what I was actually doing.
Another key pressure on Rihanna could have been Chris Brown's decision to release a song in which he claimed one of his ex-girlfriends (the name Rihanna was implied) had had sex with most of the men in the music industry. This of course isn't true because sadly part of the reason Rihanna keeps coming back to Chris Brown is that she is too much of a romantic soul to be sexually promiscuous. However the management's reason for this desperate little publicity stunt was twofold;
Firstly it gives the impression that although Chris Brown is still desperately hurting there is no way Rihanna would take him back after such a slight. Therefore there is no need to re-instate Chris Brown's restraining order even though it has been conceded that he needs to repeat his punishment for the 2009 beating of Rihanna.
Secondly it puts the idea in minds of Rihanna's (I prefer the term "consumer" because "Guinness Virgins" would be considered too rude) that she is having sex with absolutely everyone in the music industry. Therefore everytime Rihanna is photographed with someone from the music industry the rumours will start that they've had s-e-x. For example I believe that Rihanna was gang-banged by all of "One Direction" in Melbourne, Australia and done up the arse in Sydney by Jason Derulo all while her mother watched. As Rihanna is (as far as I know) currently in South Africa where around 1 in 5 people are HIV+ these rumours spread new rumours about well HIV/AIDS, the entire concept of sexual health and Rihanna's menstrual cycle which I'm sure plays a highly important role in global climate.
The main pressure on Rihanna though was Tuesday's (15/10/13) apparent visit to London, UK by two members of Rihanna's core tour party/social circle. I believe these two individuals were Rihanna's cousin who is known to me only as @leleboo246 and Rihanna's long-term friend Melissa Forde (@mforde11). While I dispute there is ever a good time for Rihanna or any of her known associates to visit the UK Tuesday would have been a particularly bad day for the simple reason that Rihanna and her tour were in a whole different hemisphere. This would have been especially stressful for Melissa Forde because it appeared that her role as Rihanna's tour photographer has been quite easily filled by some f*ckwits going by the handle @GnLStudios.
00:15 on 18/10/13 (UK date) but there will be more (hopefully)
Edited at around 00:30 on 18/10/13 (UK date) to add;
Apart from the hemispherical issues Tuesday's trip to London would have been stressful on Rihanna's known associates because between the Madeline McCann case, the Jimmy Savile interviews and the 'plebgate' affair they may well have got the impression that large sections of this country do indeed revolve around me. That might somewhat challenge their belief that I'm not worth Rihanna's time. Added to that the England national football team were playing the Polish national football team in a must win World Cup group game. As they were both born on a small island and then raised in a nation obsessed with 'hand-egg' it is unlikely they would have had much to say on an issue that everybody in the UK must have an opinion on. Fortunately though England did manage to overcome the odds and qualify for Brazil 2014.
It was pretty obvious to even the most stupid monkey then that Rihanna's known associates had been sent to London to give the South Africans the impression that the UK was in possession of some amazing secret that they must beg permission for. Unfortunately though this was so obvious that the UK got so worried that the US might be using the issue to turn the South Africans off the UK in favour of the US that they panicked. So because they're both being cunts the US then transferred Melissa Forde to South Africa in order to reassure their UK partners. @leleboo246's whereabouts are still unknown.
South Africa's response to all this of course was the rather horrific rape and murder of two pre-pubescent girls in a Johannesburg township on Tuesday before dawn. For some reason the residents of the township got a bit angry about this and ran riot in one of Johannesburg's gated communities apparently looting a few shops as they went. As this was South Africa's response it would be unwise for me to go into too much detail lest I end up calling for the re-introduction of apartheid.
However the fact that the two girls were cousins was clearly a reference to the missing members of Rihanna's core tour party/social circle. The fact they were from Mozambique was a clear reference to immigration which is apparently a hot topic these days. The rioting and looting was of course a reference to the managements assertion that Rihanna is being punished for causing the UK's August 2011 riots.
I'm going to be charitable and assume the South Africans were mocking that claim.
Wednesday 16 October 2013
Operation Misery: Month 8, Week 2, Day 4.
Despite me behaving like a coked up d*ckhead Rihanna has performed what was by all (genuine) accounts a really strong concert in Cape Town, South Africa.
However that was not to say that the concert without problems because the local promoter (Big Concerts) hasn't exactly covered itself in glory. Apart from complaints about the quality of the sound system the big problem was the scheduling which should have seen Rihanna start her performance at 20:00 (local). As I said during the concerts in London, UK is far too early in the evening for this sort of thing. Therefore Rihanna didn't actually take to the stage until 21:00 (local) which to be honest was the time I was expecting her.
Apart from the fact this hour deviation from the published schedule would annoy those people who didn't realise the schedule was going to be ignored this creates the risk that the concert will over-run incurring fines and that people will be forced to leave before the end in order to catch public transport home. That obviously annoys the people that would have missed the end of the performance and make it appear as the concert has been a failure with people walking out in apparent disgust.
However Rihanna carefully planned for this by trimming the set-list. I'm not sure what the full track-list was but the whole intro section and "Presh off the Runway" definitely went. Rihanna also dispensed with the costume changes in an effort to save time. Some people are claiming that Rihanna actually wore three outfits but I've only seen evidence of one so it's likely they got confused. That outfit consisted of a leopard print play-suit with thankfully very short shorts and a black jacket with leopard print sleeves which was later removed. There seems to be absolutely no political significance to this outfit whatsoever. It did though look very good on and seemed to suit the general style of South Africa.
I should point out though that there are a lot of people on Twitter expressing their outrage at Rihanna's lip-syncing and generally poor performance. Many of these started to appear before Rihanna even started her performance meaning that the vast majority of them are fake written by people who weren't even at the concert. The problem started on Monday (14/10/13) when the Johannesburg Star newspaper ran the front-page headline "Ri-Ri-Rip Off" and proceeded to totally trash Rihanna's performance at the concert the previous night. Rather then being an accurate review of Rihanna's Johannesburg performance this seemed to be more a case of certain South Africans registering their complaint about Rihanna's detour to Sydney which even I'm tired of complaining about now. Therefore the people complaining on Twitter have simply read the newspaper article and decided to join in.
There are of course a few political issues surrounding the tour such as Melissa Forde's trip to London, UK and the small riot that broke out in Johannesburg on Tuesday (15/10/13). However it would actually be better if I left those until tomorrow and besides I'd much rather have a glass of wine and sit around feeling really proud of Rihanna.
22:05 on 16/10/13 (UK date).
However that was not to say that the concert without problems because the local promoter (Big Concerts) hasn't exactly covered itself in glory. Apart from complaints about the quality of the sound system the big problem was the scheduling which should have seen Rihanna start her performance at 20:00 (local). As I said during the concerts in London, UK is far too early in the evening for this sort of thing. Therefore Rihanna didn't actually take to the stage until 21:00 (local) which to be honest was the time I was expecting her.
Apart from the fact this hour deviation from the published schedule would annoy those people who didn't realise the schedule was going to be ignored this creates the risk that the concert will over-run incurring fines and that people will be forced to leave before the end in order to catch public transport home. That obviously annoys the people that would have missed the end of the performance and make it appear as the concert has been a failure with people walking out in apparent disgust.
However Rihanna carefully planned for this by trimming the set-list. I'm not sure what the full track-list was but the whole intro section and "Presh off the Runway" definitely went. Rihanna also dispensed with the costume changes in an effort to save time. Some people are claiming that Rihanna actually wore three outfits but I've only seen evidence of one so it's likely they got confused. That outfit consisted of a leopard print play-suit with thankfully very short shorts and a black jacket with leopard print sleeves which was later removed. There seems to be absolutely no political significance to this outfit whatsoever. It did though look very good on and seemed to suit the general style of South Africa.
I should point out though that there are a lot of people on Twitter expressing their outrage at Rihanna's lip-syncing and generally poor performance. Many of these started to appear before Rihanna even started her performance meaning that the vast majority of them are fake written by people who weren't even at the concert. The problem started on Monday (14/10/13) when the Johannesburg Star newspaper ran the front-page headline "Ri-Ri-Rip Off" and proceeded to totally trash Rihanna's performance at the concert the previous night. Rather then being an accurate review of Rihanna's Johannesburg performance this seemed to be more a case of certain South Africans registering their complaint about Rihanna's detour to Sydney which even I'm tired of complaining about now. Therefore the people complaining on Twitter have simply read the newspaper article and decided to join in.
There are of course a few political issues surrounding the tour such as Melissa Forde's trip to London, UK and the small riot that broke out in Johannesburg on Tuesday (15/10/13). However it would actually be better if I left those until tomorrow and besides I'd much rather have a glass of wine and sit around feeling really proud of Rihanna.
22:05 on 16/10/13 (UK date).
Mark Brandon Read November 1954 - October 2013.
I don't really know why I'm writing this but 'apparently' last night on Twitter I went off on one. However the bit I do remember was rambling about Mark Brandon Read an Australian criminal who died last Wednesday (9/10/13) of complications from liver cancer.
Although Mark Read claimed to have murdered 19 people this was disputed and everybody unofficially settled at around 3. Mark Read was never convicted of murder but did spend some 21 years of his life in prison after specialising in robbery with a firearm, aggravated assault and some mild kidnapping. It was during one of these stays in prison that Read felt it would convenient for him to be transferred to the prison hospital to avoid a fight with a rival gang. So Read got one of his own gang to chop of his ears earning himself the nickname "Chopper."
I don't know how true any of this actually is because I've only seen the 2000 film once or twice. However I did watch on DVD so got to see the tapes of the very nervous weekend the film's director and it's star spent with Read researching him. On one of these tapes Read tells the story of the young son of an Italian butcher who gets beaten up everyday because he wears a flamboyant coat - I like to think of it being like Rihanna's Givanchy cloak. Everyday the boy comes back to his father crying and everyday his father tells him to quietly put up with the beatings because his coat is so magnificent.
No matter how much it pains him the boy follows his father advice for month until one day the bullies chase him into the shop while his father is out the back. So the boy goes behind the counter and picks up the biggest knife he can find an BANG! the bullies don't bother him anymore.
So yeah I only really brought it up because even in a world of crazy there is still a special seat reserved for Mark Read. The films not to bad either.
12:00 on 16/10/13.
Although Mark Read claimed to have murdered 19 people this was disputed and everybody unofficially settled at around 3. Mark Read was never convicted of murder but did spend some 21 years of his life in prison after specialising in robbery with a firearm, aggravated assault and some mild kidnapping. It was during one of these stays in prison that Read felt it would convenient for him to be transferred to the prison hospital to avoid a fight with a rival gang. So Read got one of his own gang to chop of his ears earning himself the nickname "Chopper."
I don't know how true any of this actually is because I've only seen the 2000 film once or twice. However I did watch on DVD so got to see the tapes of the very nervous weekend the film's director and it's star spent with Read researching him. On one of these tapes Read tells the story of the young son of an Italian butcher who gets beaten up everyday because he wears a flamboyant coat - I like to think of it being like Rihanna's Givanchy cloak. Everyday the boy comes back to his father crying and everyday his father tells him to quietly put up with the beatings because his coat is so magnificent.
No matter how much it pains him the boy follows his father advice for month until one day the bullies chase him into the shop while his father is out the back. So the boy goes behind the counter and picks up the biggest knife he can find an BANG! the bullies don't bother him anymore.
So yeah I only really brought it up because even in a world of crazy there is still a special seat reserved for Mark Read. The films not to bad either.
12:00 on 16/10/13.
Tuesday 15 October 2013
I'm Back From the Pub Early.
So early in fact that even after passing all preliminary checks I've still got half an hour to fill before the start of the England V Poland game. So I should probably explain that due to the football my father and I went to the pub with the easy parking. Despite a private learner driver in a blue ford fiesta behaving like such a dick that I believe the police were called we arrived in plenty of time and I sadly didn't witness any arrests being made on the way back.
However this has not been the only change of routine today because after getting a haircut I went up to the local supermarket on a Tuesday rather then a Thursday. This is because I don't know if I mentioned but on Thursday (17/10/13) I will be meeting with my lawyers to discuss trial strategy. I wish I could tell you more then that but because even I haven't read the case papers yet the key word is going to be "discuss."
Anyway as a result to this change in routine and having to wait for my razor to charge up I didn't end up having lunch until about 15:30 which meant I wasn't particularly hungry when dinner time rolled around at 17:30.
I suppose I could use the remaining 15 minutes to fully explain the latest 'developments' in the Madeline McCann even though I saw sense and didn't bother watch the BBC's "Crimewatch" special. That would take far too long. Hell 15 minutes is barely enough time to insult US President Obama for continuing to stick to the medical devices levy gun in the debt ceiling/fiscal cliff debate.
While I will agree that Fox News is not the most impartial source on the issue it sounds to me as if Obama intends to levy a sales tax on medical devices in order to fund part of the cost of the Affordable Care Act (Obamacare). The problem is that vendors of medical devices will simply past the cost of this new tax on to their customers which in the case are Obamacare insurance providers. So in short Obamacare intends to fund health care by increasing the cost of health care.
You would think that after all that skeet shooting someone would have explained to Obama by now the importance of not pointing the gun in the direction of your own face.
18:50 on 15/10/13.
However this has not been the only change of routine today because after getting a haircut I went up to the local supermarket on a Tuesday rather then a Thursday. This is because I don't know if I mentioned but on Thursday (17/10/13) I will be meeting with my lawyers to discuss trial strategy. I wish I could tell you more then that but because even I haven't read the case papers yet the key word is going to be "discuss."
Anyway as a result to this change in routine and having to wait for my razor to charge up I didn't end up having lunch until about 15:30 which meant I wasn't particularly hungry when dinner time rolled around at 17:30.
I suppose I could use the remaining 15 minutes to fully explain the latest 'developments' in the Madeline McCann even though I saw sense and didn't bother watch the BBC's "Crimewatch" special. That would take far too long. Hell 15 minutes is barely enough time to insult US President Obama for continuing to stick to the medical devices levy gun in the debt ceiling/fiscal cliff debate.
While I will agree that Fox News is not the most impartial source on the issue it sounds to me as if Obama intends to levy a sales tax on medical devices in order to fund part of the cost of the Affordable Care Act (Obamacare). The problem is that vendors of medical devices will simply past the cost of this new tax on to their customers which in the case are Obamacare insurance providers. So in short Obamacare intends to fund health care by increasing the cost of health care.
You would think that after all that skeet shooting someone would have explained to Obama by now the importance of not pointing the gun in the direction of your own face.
18:50 on 15/10/13.
Operation Misery: Month 8, Week 2, Day 3.
Since my previous post on the subject Rihanna has not performed any concerts anywhere in the world. However in that post I mentioned that Rihanna's visit on Sunday (13/10/13) to a South African safari park was likely to cause trouble by pulling the issue of wildlife conservation into sharp focus. Well today those problems have turned up.
Way back in April right around the time Rihanna was performing her California, US concerts and reuniting with Chris Brown staff at the UK's Edinburgh zoo decided that their female Panda Tian Tian was pregnant following a course of artificial insemination. This prompted a long pregnancy watch which involved much discussion about any possible change to Tian Tian's behaviour. As Tian Tian - along with all other Pandas - belongs to China this set up a bilateral discussion between the UK and China that could well have been used as a coded discussion about the state of Rihanna's mind and uterus. For example on September 24th (24/9/13) just as Rihanna was performing in Perth, Australia it was announced that Edinburgh zoo's Panda in closure was being closed to the public because Tian Tian had become highly sensitive to light and noise. Apparently in a Panda this is considered normal pregnancy behaviour but in a human such as Rihanna it can be considered a sign of extreme stress and emotional vulnerability.
With the average Panda pregnancy lasted 22 weeks it was around the start of September people were becoming very suspicious as to why Tian Tian had not given birth. Prompted in part by Rihanna's visit to a South African safari park and in part by the UK finance ministers visit to China the UK has today finally owned up and admitted that Tian Tian is not pregnant. Obviously they couldn't just come out and say; "We lied" so instead they are claiming that Tian Tian was pregnant but suffered a miscarriage. The exact phrase they used was; " she lost it" which could be interpreted as someone (possibly Rihanna) losing their mind and having a nervous breakdown.
Edinburgh zoo went on to talk about how they feel they did everything they could, collected lots of valuable scientific data for analysis and are confident that Tian Tian will shortly experience a successful pregnancy. This seems to be the UK apologising in advance to the Gulf Monarchs because although I want to tempt fate it now seems a lot less likely that Rihanna's planned meltdown in the UAE will actually materialise. However in the event that it does the UK is also attempting cover itself by talking about zoo staff doing all they can to ensure that Tian Tian gets the peace, quiet and privacy she needs to recover from this tragic incident. That way if the UAE meltdown does happen the UK can claim its hands are clean and blame it all on the US.
If the Tian Tian story wasn't enough at the UK's London zoo a female Sumatran Tiger Melati also fell pregnant at roughly the same time. Although this was kept secret at the time and the nature of the pregnancy has still not been revealed this set up another pregnancy watch this time involving Indonesia where Sumatran tigers are native, the US where the daddy Tiger Jae Jae is from and Australia's Perth zoo where Melati was born. According to her Internet personal profile (no really) Melati is a big fan of Chanel no5 which obviously makes her a perfect coded reference to Rihanna. For example when Melati actually gave birth on September 22nd (22/9/13) it was all recorded on secret cameras hidden inside the enclosure. With Rihanna heading to Australia at the time this was supposed to give the impression that Rihanna was under constant covert surveillance creating speculation about who had access to the tapes and making Rihanna extra paranoid.
On Saturday staff at London zoo found Meltai's new cub which hadn't been named or sexed dead by a pool in the enclosure. This was also publicly announced today and seems to being used as a way to further downplay the risk of a UAE meltdown possibly in an attempt to prompt the South Africans to be less gentle with Rihanna. However unlike the Tian Tian announcement this seems less well scripted leading me to believe that staff at London zoo don't actually know what happened. Therefore I suppose it is possible that by using the pregnancy in this political way has somehow tainted the cub in the eyes of the mother causing her to reject it by killing it.
As for the actual Rihanna apparently she's got her mother and cousins visiting her in South Africa and they all spent yesterday visiting an aquarium. As far as I'm concerned this is all fine because with the Malian summer not really happening Rihanna's relationship with her family isn't exactly of huge intelligence value and most things Rihanna's will do in South Africa will involve wildlife or the countries natural beauty in some way or another. However if Rihanna did literally go and swim with actual sharks I will need to see pictures and/or video.
13:30 on 15/10/13 (UK date).
Way back in April right around the time Rihanna was performing her California, US concerts and reuniting with Chris Brown staff at the UK's Edinburgh zoo decided that their female Panda Tian Tian was pregnant following a course of artificial insemination. This prompted a long pregnancy watch which involved much discussion about any possible change to Tian Tian's behaviour. As Tian Tian - along with all other Pandas - belongs to China this set up a bilateral discussion between the UK and China that could well have been used as a coded discussion about the state of Rihanna's mind and uterus. For example on September 24th (24/9/13) just as Rihanna was performing in Perth, Australia it was announced that Edinburgh zoo's Panda in closure was being closed to the public because Tian Tian had become highly sensitive to light and noise. Apparently in a Panda this is considered normal pregnancy behaviour but in a human such as Rihanna it can be considered a sign of extreme stress and emotional vulnerability.
With the average Panda pregnancy lasted 22 weeks it was around the start of September people were becoming very suspicious as to why Tian Tian had not given birth. Prompted in part by Rihanna's visit to a South African safari park and in part by the UK finance ministers visit to China the UK has today finally owned up and admitted that Tian Tian is not pregnant. Obviously they couldn't just come out and say; "We lied" so instead they are claiming that Tian Tian was pregnant but suffered a miscarriage. The exact phrase they used was; " she lost it" which could be interpreted as someone (possibly Rihanna) losing their mind and having a nervous breakdown.
Edinburgh zoo went on to talk about how they feel they did everything they could, collected lots of valuable scientific data for analysis and are confident that Tian Tian will shortly experience a successful pregnancy. This seems to be the UK apologising in advance to the Gulf Monarchs because although I want to tempt fate it now seems a lot less likely that Rihanna's planned meltdown in the UAE will actually materialise. However in the event that it does the UK is also attempting cover itself by talking about zoo staff doing all they can to ensure that Tian Tian gets the peace, quiet and privacy she needs to recover from this tragic incident. That way if the UAE meltdown does happen the UK can claim its hands are clean and blame it all on the US.
If the Tian Tian story wasn't enough at the UK's London zoo a female Sumatran Tiger Melati also fell pregnant at roughly the same time. Although this was kept secret at the time and the nature of the pregnancy has still not been revealed this set up another pregnancy watch this time involving Indonesia where Sumatran tigers are native, the US where the daddy Tiger Jae Jae is from and Australia's Perth zoo where Melati was born. According to her Internet personal profile (no really) Melati is a big fan of Chanel no5 which obviously makes her a perfect coded reference to Rihanna. For example when Melati actually gave birth on September 22nd (22/9/13) it was all recorded on secret cameras hidden inside the enclosure. With Rihanna heading to Australia at the time this was supposed to give the impression that Rihanna was under constant covert surveillance creating speculation about who had access to the tapes and making Rihanna extra paranoid.
On Saturday staff at London zoo found Meltai's new cub which hadn't been named or sexed dead by a pool in the enclosure. This was also publicly announced today and seems to being used as a way to further downplay the risk of a UAE meltdown possibly in an attempt to prompt the South Africans to be less gentle with Rihanna. However unlike the Tian Tian announcement this seems less well scripted leading me to believe that staff at London zoo don't actually know what happened. Therefore I suppose it is possible that by using the pregnancy in this political way has somehow tainted the cub in the eyes of the mother causing her to reject it by killing it.
As for the actual Rihanna apparently she's got her mother and cousins visiting her in South Africa and they all spent yesterday visiting an aquarium. As far as I'm concerned this is all fine because with the Malian summer not really happening Rihanna's relationship with her family isn't exactly of huge intelligence value and most things Rihanna's will do in South Africa will involve wildlife or the countries natural beauty in some way or another. However if Rihanna did literally go and swim with actual sharks I will need to see pictures and/or video.
13:30 on 15/10/13 (UK date).
Monday 14 October 2013
Operation Misery: Month 8, Week 2, Day 2.
On October 19th (19/10/13) Rihanna will perform a concert in Abu Dhabi in the United Arab Emirates (UAE). This one concert encapsulates all that has happened in Rihanna's life since she performed at the 2012 para-Olympic closing ceremony.
Through the renewal of Rihanna's relationship with Chris Brown, the recording of the less then strong "Unapologetic" album, the 777 Tour, the relationship with the UK retailer River Island and this Diamonds World Tour the people who make these sort of decisions on Rihanna's behalf have been trying to destroy her both professionally and personally. Initially we were told this was being done to punish Rihanna for her role in cause the UK's August 2011 riots. Then after it was established that Rihanna had nothing to do with those riots we were told it was being done to punish Rihanna for causing the so-called 'Arab Spring.' Then after it was established that Rihanna had nothing to do with either the Tunisian or the Egyptian revolutions we were told that it was being done to appease the Gulf Monarchs (Emirs) while the US was standing up to them over Syria's civil war.
In reality though it is being done to punish Rihanna for enjoying the level of fame and adulation that Monarchs across the globe believe is their exclusive god given right. Therefore the crowning glory of this last year's efforts is put Rihanna under so much stress that she is driven to a full scale nervous breakdown whilst she in the UAE. Short of actually killing Rihanna this is the closest that the Gulf Monarchs can come to seeing their great rival defeated and humiliated in front of their eyes. Of course the fact that the US has been prepared to go along with this morally objectionable plan not only makes them look as vicious and spiteful as the Gulf Monarchs it also makes the US look as though it is too weak to stand up to the Gulf Monarchs on even the smallest of issues.
Being Rihanna's final scheduled stop before the UAE the current trip to South Africa is vitally important to the success of that plan. Therefore Rihanna's CIA handlers/Live Nation (the management) are working very hard to make Rihanna's stay in South Africa as stressful as possible in order to make sure Rihanna is at her most vulnerable when arrives in the UAE. Most people would have thought that the trip to South Africa itself would be stressful enough for Rihanna. That's because the revenue generated by the two concerts isn't enough to cover the cost of the fuel required to put them on meaning that these concerts alone should be enough to stop the entire tour making a profit and could even be enough to cause it to make a substantial loss. As Rihanna is not as stupid as she sometimes behaves this means that throughout her stay in South Africa there should be a constant little voice at the back of her mind reminding her how much money this all costing her.
That little nagging doubt clearly wasn't enough for the management so following Rihanna's final performance in Auckland, New Zealand on October 8th (8/10/13) rather then allowing Rihanna to travel on to South Africa in plenty of time for her first concert there they instead flew Rihanna back to Sydney, Australia for absolutely no logical reason. As I explained when I found out about this on Friday (11/10/13) this was primarily done to destroy Rihanna's sleep patterns meaning that she would be heavily affected by jet-lag which will only get worse once she has to travel on to the UAE. However it was also done to trick the South Africans into thinking it was a good idea for them to take part in the Diamonds World Tour by being able to use the speculation about when Rihanna would arrive in South Africa to be the centre of attention at the African Union (AU) Summit that was taking place in Ethiopia over the weekend.
Although I've been ranting about it for the best part of three days now I still cannot get over how utterly stupid Rihanna's detour to Australia was. Not only did put unnecessary stress on Rihanna but as it turns out the South Africans didn't even want this particular 'gift' from the US and rejected it very loudly by making sure everybody knew when Rihanna finally arrived. The other big problem this created is that while the South African concert promoter's (Big Concerts) decision to stage the Rihanna shows was driven by naked greed and the South African government's decision to get involved in the politics of Rihanna's tour was equally idiotic South Africa is a country of around 52 million people A significant number of them have actually been putting in a lot of work preparing for Rihanna's visit to make sure it was as enjoyable and stress free as possible.
So for example there was more then a weeks worth of excursions to restaurants, shops, tattoo parlour and tourist attractions lined up for Rihanna to go on if she so wished. By failing to turn up in South Africa until Saturday (12/10/13) Rihanna meant that all that work was for nothing and robbed herself of the opportunity to enjoy herself.
On Sunday (13/10/13) in the hours before her concert Rihanna was forced to make a compulsory trip to a wildlife sanctuary/safari park. This is of course one of the most popular things for tourists in South Africa to do but as I've explained wildlife conservation has been one of the main bridges through which South Africa has been discussing Rihanna with other nations. It is particularly important when it comes to the relationship between South Africa and Israel which of course will be Rihanna's next stop following the UAE. Therefore the US and the UK have been trying for months to break into this communication channel in order to make that it isn't used to make Rihanna's trip to the UAE run as smoothly as possible. With it not being possible to hide Rihanna's trip to the safari park amid a range of other excursions this forced that issue into sharper focus then I would have liked. Therefore I think it would have been better not to do the trip at all and instead allow Rihanna the day to try and sort her sleep patterns out a bit.
As you've probably guessed there is an awful lot more for me to say but I've now got to stop. I'll try and get back to this after dinner and might even mention something to do with yesterday's concert.
17:20 on 14/10/13 (UK date.)
Edited at around 19:00 on 14/10/13 (UK date) to add;
One effect of the tight focus on wildlife conservation is that Thailand today arrested the owner of a bar where Rihanna watched a sex show during her recent visit for putting on a lewd performance. Basically Thailand is experiencing a significant drop in it's popularity and regional influence due to its involvement in Rihanna's tour. Therefore it has made these new arrests in an attempt to further distance itself from Rihanna and share some of the blame with South Africa which angered Thailand by using elephant conservation as a way to track Rihanna during the South-East Asian portion of her tour. The management of course had promised the Thais that it would be getting exclusive access to Rihanna during this time.
Even before Rihanna had left for South Africa the US was continuing to increase the pressure on her through a Court in Los Angeles granted Rihanna a temporary restraining order against Jonathan Whopper who attempted to break into Rihanna's home on September 29th (29/9/13) and October 4th (4/10/13). According to the application Mr Whopper believed that Rihanna was to be his future wife and on the October 4th visit threw a garden chair through a glass door at the address. As since the 2012 para-Olympic closing ceremony I have taken to referring to Rihanna as my 'Twittter wife" and am currently facing charges over some glass smashing related matters this clearly seems to be intended as a reference to me. As such the attack on Rihanna seems to have been carried out in order to leave Rihanna with no other option then to apply for a restraining order against Mr Whopper. The intention being that in low level gossip this will be interpreted as Rihanna rejecting me and my views and fully endorsing the management's plan for Rihanna's tour and her relationship with Chris Brown.
Coming on the International Day of the Girl when her western puppeteers were hoping that Malala Yousafzai would be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for her campaign for women's education the management were hoping that in more intellectual circles the restraining order hearing would be viewed as part of the "Rehabilitation of Rihanna" narrative that they've be trying to run since roughly the 2012 para-Olympic closing ceremony. The idea being that they are setting Rihanna these sort of challenges in order to empower her by teaching Rihanna to take responsibility for aspects of her own life through things like applying for a restraining order against Chris Brown. This "Rehabilitation of Rihanna" narrative is of course a nonsense intended to give a fig leaf of respectability to what is in reality just an attempt to inflict pain for the sake of inflicting pain.
Being forced to think about me increases the stress on Rihanna because I have long been a source of tension between Rihanna and her tour party. Also while I really like Rihanna at the moment the only way I'm able to express that seems to be constantly telling her where she has screwed up and publishing her deepest darkest secrets on the Internet. Although I'm sure Rihanna understands that I'm doing this out of affection rather then malice this seemingly constant stream of criticism and violations of privacy will put a strain on any relationship especially one as tenuous as this.
With Rihanna arriving in South Africa on Saturday (12/10/13) the management's main effort to exert pressure on Rihanna and her hosts was through the arrest of a suspect in the "Baby Hope" murder. If you're not familiar with the case "Baby Hope" was a Hispanic infant girl whose was found dumped in a picnic cooler just outside New York in 1991. Although I was about 10 at the time and Rihanna must have been all of 3 or 4 I strongly suspect that this case took on all sorts of significance during the end of the Cold War and the collapse of the Soviet Union that was going on at the time. The end of the Cold War was of course one of the factors in the end of apartheid which apparently was quite a big deal in South Africa.
However the Baby Hope story's main purpose seemed to be just to cause confusion. For example saying that they've found the man who killed baby Hope could be interpreted as a reference to the hope that the handlers had that Rihanna's little liaison with Chris Brown in New York would leave her pregnant with a baby. Announcing that the US have arrested the man who killed hope could also be interpreted as an indication that the US now intends to do something about Chris Brown. After all I feel hope dying pretty much every he speaks.
In the hours leading up to Rihanna's Sunday (13/10/13) performance the main pressure was being exerted by Chris Brown's sometimes girlfriend Kerruche Tran doing a charity walk to raise money to help with HIV/AIDS. In South Africa I think the HIV/AIDS connection is pretty obvious but this particular walk was organised by the Symphonic Love Foundation which Chris Brown also does a lot of work with. Therefore the intention was that Rihanna would view this as a sign that Brown and Tran are becoming closer and that would upset her.
As for the concert itself it didn't go fantastically but that was not through any fault of Rihanna's who took to the stage around 30 minutes late. This is slightly longer then the expected 15-20 minute delay but not really enough to constitute a problem especially as I was mucking about on Twitter at the time in an effort to wind up the live results show of the UK version of X-Factor. Rihanna then competently rather then spectacularly worked her way through the standard set-list but that's just the way that quality varies between performances rather then saying Rihanna's performance was poor. The problem was that organisational failings such as relatively high priced tickets, the lack of a second support act and the great weight of expectation meant that many were left feeling disappointed and left early. Contrary to Rihanna's claims the concert was not a sell-out even though the capacity of the stadium had been reduced to increase demand. However I hope that when it comes to Rihanna's share of the revenues the management will be making up the difference.
The big talking point of the concert was that Rihanna dispensed with the usual stage costumes and instead wore one outfit throughout the performance. I actually think a large part of the reason for this was to annoy me. After all I said befor hand that this would be the sort of thing that forces me to stay up far too late in order to comment on it. Funnily enough as the management have been failing to meet more and more of their political objectives of this tour annoying me has become an ever bigger objective of the tour.
The outfit Rihanna wore consisted of a black bomber-style jacket, tight fitting black trousers, a tight fitting black top and a black sun visor although at some Rihanna removed the trousers revealing her legs which certainly made me happy. All of these items were decorated with bits of metal and crystal in the style of the Givanchy cloak Rihanna normally wears during the opening act. The first thing you would notice about this outfit is that it very closely resembles the outfits Rihanna's backing dancers/singers wear during the opening act. The intention here being to trigger bitchy discussions about anyone would notice if Rihanna simply didn't bother to turn up for a concert and sent a backing dancer on in her place.
The second thing you would notice about the outfit is that it is similar to the baggy early-1990's style which is used throughout Rihanna's River Island line. As this one outfit was never going to be as spectacular as the usual five the intention seemed to be to trigger bitchy discussions about the River Island line not being particularly great. After all while it's considered affordable fashion in the developed world Rihanna's River Island line is far too expensive for many South Africans.
The combination of the black bomber jacket and the metal detailing is very reminiscent of the neo-Nazi uniform of jeans and a bomber jacket adorned with metal badges, often Nazi insignia. Therefore this seemed to be intended to promote bitchy discussions about the fascist overtones of Rihanna's tour. I don't know who designed the outfit but judging by the quality and the similarities between the Givanchy cloak I hope it was actually Givanchy having a little bit of a swipe at Rihanna. However if this is the case it seems intended as a friendly little nudge rather then a full scale, lunging attack. That's because through the "G4Life" slogan on the River Island line Rihanna is getting dangerously close to trading on Givanchy's name meaning that damage to Rihanna's reputation also damages Givanchy's reputation.
The other little talking point is that Rihanna apparently draped herself in the South African flag at the end of her performance. This was after posting Twitter/Instagram pictures of her nails being painted in the flag colours. I think these were both genuine attempts by Rihanna to show that she does like South Africa despite all the cr*p she brings with her. The problem is that all that cr*p means that people could misinterpret it all as a cynical attempt at overcompensation. Not that it matters much.
Through the renewal of Rihanna's relationship with Chris Brown, the recording of the less then strong "Unapologetic" album, the 777 Tour, the relationship with the UK retailer River Island and this Diamonds World Tour the people who make these sort of decisions on Rihanna's behalf have been trying to destroy her both professionally and personally. Initially we were told this was being done to punish Rihanna for her role in cause the UK's August 2011 riots. Then after it was established that Rihanna had nothing to do with those riots we were told it was being done to punish Rihanna for causing the so-called 'Arab Spring.' Then after it was established that Rihanna had nothing to do with either the Tunisian or the Egyptian revolutions we were told that it was being done to appease the Gulf Monarchs (Emirs) while the US was standing up to them over Syria's civil war.
In reality though it is being done to punish Rihanna for enjoying the level of fame and adulation that Monarchs across the globe believe is their exclusive god given right. Therefore the crowning glory of this last year's efforts is put Rihanna under so much stress that she is driven to a full scale nervous breakdown whilst she in the UAE. Short of actually killing Rihanna this is the closest that the Gulf Monarchs can come to seeing their great rival defeated and humiliated in front of their eyes. Of course the fact that the US has been prepared to go along with this morally objectionable plan not only makes them look as vicious and spiteful as the Gulf Monarchs it also makes the US look as though it is too weak to stand up to the Gulf Monarchs on even the smallest of issues.
Being Rihanna's final scheduled stop before the UAE the current trip to South Africa is vitally important to the success of that plan. Therefore Rihanna's CIA handlers/Live Nation (the management) are working very hard to make Rihanna's stay in South Africa as stressful as possible in order to make sure Rihanna is at her most vulnerable when arrives in the UAE. Most people would have thought that the trip to South Africa itself would be stressful enough for Rihanna. That's because the revenue generated by the two concerts isn't enough to cover the cost of the fuel required to put them on meaning that these concerts alone should be enough to stop the entire tour making a profit and could even be enough to cause it to make a substantial loss. As Rihanna is not as stupid as she sometimes behaves this means that throughout her stay in South Africa there should be a constant little voice at the back of her mind reminding her how much money this all costing her.
That little nagging doubt clearly wasn't enough for the management so following Rihanna's final performance in Auckland, New Zealand on October 8th (8/10/13) rather then allowing Rihanna to travel on to South Africa in plenty of time for her first concert there they instead flew Rihanna back to Sydney, Australia for absolutely no logical reason. As I explained when I found out about this on Friday (11/10/13) this was primarily done to destroy Rihanna's sleep patterns meaning that she would be heavily affected by jet-lag which will only get worse once she has to travel on to the UAE. However it was also done to trick the South Africans into thinking it was a good idea for them to take part in the Diamonds World Tour by being able to use the speculation about when Rihanna would arrive in South Africa to be the centre of attention at the African Union (AU) Summit that was taking place in Ethiopia over the weekend.
Although I've been ranting about it for the best part of three days now I still cannot get over how utterly stupid Rihanna's detour to Australia was. Not only did put unnecessary stress on Rihanna but as it turns out the South Africans didn't even want this particular 'gift' from the US and rejected it very loudly by making sure everybody knew when Rihanna finally arrived. The other big problem this created is that while the South African concert promoter's (Big Concerts) decision to stage the Rihanna shows was driven by naked greed and the South African government's decision to get involved in the politics of Rihanna's tour was equally idiotic South Africa is a country of around 52 million people A significant number of them have actually been putting in a lot of work preparing for Rihanna's visit to make sure it was as enjoyable and stress free as possible.
So for example there was more then a weeks worth of excursions to restaurants, shops, tattoo parlour and tourist attractions lined up for Rihanna to go on if she so wished. By failing to turn up in South Africa until Saturday (12/10/13) Rihanna meant that all that work was for nothing and robbed herself of the opportunity to enjoy herself.
On Sunday (13/10/13) in the hours before her concert Rihanna was forced to make a compulsory trip to a wildlife sanctuary/safari park. This is of course one of the most popular things for tourists in South Africa to do but as I've explained wildlife conservation has been one of the main bridges through which South Africa has been discussing Rihanna with other nations. It is particularly important when it comes to the relationship between South Africa and Israel which of course will be Rihanna's next stop following the UAE. Therefore the US and the UK have been trying for months to break into this communication channel in order to make that it isn't used to make Rihanna's trip to the UAE run as smoothly as possible. With it not being possible to hide Rihanna's trip to the safari park amid a range of other excursions this forced that issue into sharper focus then I would have liked. Therefore I think it would have been better not to do the trip at all and instead allow Rihanna the day to try and sort her sleep patterns out a bit.
As you've probably guessed there is an awful lot more for me to say but I've now got to stop. I'll try and get back to this after dinner and might even mention something to do with yesterday's concert.
17:20 on 14/10/13 (UK date.)
Edited at around 19:00 on 14/10/13 (UK date) to add;
One effect of the tight focus on wildlife conservation is that Thailand today arrested the owner of a bar where Rihanna watched a sex show during her recent visit for putting on a lewd performance. Basically Thailand is experiencing a significant drop in it's popularity and regional influence due to its involvement in Rihanna's tour. Therefore it has made these new arrests in an attempt to further distance itself from Rihanna and share some of the blame with South Africa which angered Thailand by using elephant conservation as a way to track Rihanna during the South-East Asian portion of her tour. The management of course had promised the Thais that it would be getting exclusive access to Rihanna during this time.
Even before Rihanna had left for South Africa the US was continuing to increase the pressure on her through a Court in Los Angeles granted Rihanna a temporary restraining order against Jonathan Whopper who attempted to break into Rihanna's home on September 29th (29/9/13) and October 4th (4/10/13). According to the application Mr Whopper believed that Rihanna was to be his future wife and on the October 4th visit threw a garden chair through a glass door at the address. As since the 2012 para-Olympic closing ceremony I have taken to referring to Rihanna as my 'Twittter wife" and am currently facing charges over some glass smashing related matters this clearly seems to be intended as a reference to me. As such the attack on Rihanna seems to have been carried out in order to leave Rihanna with no other option then to apply for a restraining order against Mr Whopper. The intention being that in low level gossip this will be interpreted as Rihanna rejecting me and my views and fully endorsing the management's plan for Rihanna's tour and her relationship with Chris Brown.
Coming on the International Day of the Girl when her western puppeteers were hoping that Malala Yousafzai would be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for her campaign for women's education the management were hoping that in more intellectual circles the restraining order hearing would be viewed as part of the "Rehabilitation of Rihanna" narrative that they've be trying to run since roughly the 2012 para-Olympic closing ceremony. The idea being that they are setting Rihanna these sort of challenges in order to empower her by teaching Rihanna to take responsibility for aspects of her own life through things like applying for a restraining order against Chris Brown. This "Rehabilitation of Rihanna" narrative is of course a nonsense intended to give a fig leaf of respectability to what is in reality just an attempt to inflict pain for the sake of inflicting pain.
Being forced to think about me increases the stress on Rihanna because I have long been a source of tension between Rihanna and her tour party. Also while I really like Rihanna at the moment the only way I'm able to express that seems to be constantly telling her where she has screwed up and publishing her deepest darkest secrets on the Internet. Although I'm sure Rihanna understands that I'm doing this out of affection rather then malice this seemingly constant stream of criticism and violations of privacy will put a strain on any relationship especially one as tenuous as this.
With Rihanna arriving in South Africa on Saturday (12/10/13) the management's main effort to exert pressure on Rihanna and her hosts was through the arrest of a suspect in the "Baby Hope" murder. If you're not familiar with the case "Baby Hope" was a Hispanic infant girl whose was found dumped in a picnic cooler just outside New York in 1991. Although I was about 10 at the time and Rihanna must have been all of 3 or 4 I strongly suspect that this case took on all sorts of significance during the end of the Cold War and the collapse of the Soviet Union that was going on at the time. The end of the Cold War was of course one of the factors in the end of apartheid which apparently was quite a big deal in South Africa.
However the Baby Hope story's main purpose seemed to be just to cause confusion. For example saying that they've found the man who killed baby Hope could be interpreted as a reference to the hope that the handlers had that Rihanna's little liaison with Chris Brown in New York would leave her pregnant with a baby. Announcing that the US have arrested the man who killed hope could also be interpreted as an indication that the US now intends to do something about Chris Brown. After all I feel hope dying pretty much every he speaks.
In the hours leading up to Rihanna's Sunday (13/10/13) performance the main pressure was being exerted by Chris Brown's sometimes girlfriend Kerruche Tran doing a charity walk to raise money to help with HIV/AIDS. In South Africa I think the HIV/AIDS connection is pretty obvious but this particular walk was organised by the Symphonic Love Foundation which Chris Brown also does a lot of work with. Therefore the intention was that Rihanna would view this as a sign that Brown and Tran are becoming closer and that would upset her.
As for the concert itself it didn't go fantastically but that was not through any fault of Rihanna's who took to the stage around 30 minutes late. This is slightly longer then the expected 15-20 minute delay but not really enough to constitute a problem especially as I was mucking about on Twitter at the time in an effort to wind up the live results show of the UK version of X-Factor. Rihanna then competently rather then spectacularly worked her way through the standard set-list but that's just the way that quality varies between performances rather then saying Rihanna's performance was poor. The problem was that organisational failings such as relatively high priced tickets, the lack of a second support act and the great weight of expectation meant that many were left feeling disappointed and left early. Contrary to Rihanna's claims the concert was not a sell-out even though the capacity of the stadium had been reduced to increase demand. However I hope that when it comes to Rihanna's share of the revenues the management will be making up the difference.
The big talking point of the concert was that Rihanna dispensed with the usual stage costumes and instead wore one outfit throughout the performance. I actually think a large part of the reason for this was to annoy me. After all I said befor hand that this would be the sort of thing that forces me to stay up far too late in order to comment on it. Funnily enough as the management have been failing to meet more and more of their political objectives of this tour annoying me has become an ever bigger objective of the tour.
The outfit Rihanna wore consisted of a black bomber-style jacket, tight fitting black trousers, a tight fitting black top and a black sun visor although at some Rihanna removed the trousers revealing her legs which certainly made me happy. All of these items were decorated with bits of metal and crystal in the style of the Givanchy cloak Rihanna normally wears during the opening act. The first thing you would notice about this outfit is that it very closely resembles the outfits Rihanna's backing dancers/singers wear during the opening act. The intention here being to trigger bitchy discussions about anyone would notice if Rihanna simply didn't bother to turn up for a concert and sent a backing dancer on in her place.
The second thing you would notice about the outfit is that it is similar to the baggy early-1990's style which is used throughout Rihanna's River Island line. As this one outfit was never going to be as spectacular as the usual five the intention seemed to be to trigger bitchy discussions about the River Island line not being particularly great. After all while it's considered affordable fashion in the developed world Rihanna's River Island line is far too expensive for many South Africans.
The combination of the black bomber jacket and the metal detailing is very reminiscent of the neo-Nazi uniform of jeans and a bomber jacket adorned with metal badges, often Nazi insignia. Therefore this seemed to be intended to promote bitchy discussions about the fascist overtones of Rihanna's tour. I don't know who designed the outfit but judging by the quality and the similarities between the Givanchy cloak I hope it was actually Givanchy having a little bit of a swipe at Rihanna. However if this is the case it seems intended as a friendly little nudge rather then a full scale, lunging attack. That's because through the "G4Life" slogan on the River Island line Rihanna is getting dangerously close to trading on Givanchy's name meaning that damage to Rihanna's reputation also damages Givanchy's reputation.
The other little talking point is that Rihanna apparently draped herself in the South African flag at the end of her performance. This was after posting Twitter/Instagram pictures of her nails being painted in the flag colours. I think these were both genuine attempts by Rihanna to show that she does like South Africa despite all the cr*p she brings with her. The problem is that all that cr*p means that people could misinterpret it all as a cynical attempt at overcompensation. Not that it matters much.
Sunday 13 October 2013
Well This Must Be F'ck All...
...Because it's the sum total of what I've achieved.
Anyway somewhere in once of those yesterdays; (http://watchitdie.blogspot.co.uk/2013/10/operation-misery-month-8-week-2-day-1.html) I remember saying something about not being able to write a review of Rihanna's first South African concert until at least the afternoon unless there's a major crisis. After all it is a poor country and we're all really drunk.
Unfortunately some people took this as a challenge to the very notion that they're poor so I was not only provided with information about Rihanna's Johannesburg concert I was presented with a significant dispute between sources. Anyway I feel comfortable enough to tell you that Rihanna appeared on stage somewhat significantly after the expected 15-20 minutes of lateness to perform the standard set-list. However the big talking point of the evening is that Rihanna dispensed with the usual costumes and instead wore the one outfit throughout the concert.
The exact nature of this 'outfit' which I believe involved black pants, a black sweatshirt, a black sun visor and a horrific amount of fake crystal will of course take me a few moments to delve into fashion. At 01:20 on 14/10/13 I hope you will excuse me after all I've got to finish a zoot.
Edited at around 01:40 on 14/10/13 to add:
Really the nicest thing I could say about Rihanna's 'choice' of outfit is that it looked like any one of her backing singers could have wandered out on stage to have given it a go.
The worst thing I could say is that it looked like any bit of the tat she's brought out for River Island.
However I believe it was intended to resemble the Giveachy designed cloak that Rihanna normally wears during the opening acts. Therefore I think it was sent to Rihanna by the French house of Givanchy to remind her that the slogan "G4Life" is perhaps not trademarkable. Under those circumstances could you refuse a personal gift from Givanchy?!
Edited again at around 01:50 on 14/10/13 to add;
Yeah I think the point I was generally working up to is that on Saturday (12/10/13) I went to Brighton. I am confused as to why I went to Brighton but I believe it was something to do with my 'friend' - I'm only allowed the "one" - telling me on Friday he may have been a twat so needed to borrow some money from me. So being a friend I agreed for him to pick me up in the morning. Under the pretext of much swearing on the Saturday afternoon he eventually picked me up.
On the drive down to Brighton it emerged that because he's a courier my 'mate' has to drive into something known as the "London Congestion Charge Zone" and apparently every time he does that he must pay "Transport for London (TfL)" GBP10. Unfortunately being a twat my best friend in the world decided not to do that and instead paid GBP10 to a third party website to charge him a fee to pay the "London Congestion Charge" on his behalf. Sadly on this one occasion a transaction genuinely failed meaning that the "London Congestion Charge" was not paid on my associates behalf.
Obviously my associate couldn't accept that and after months of arguing with TfL that GBP10 had risen to GBP280 and there were bailiffs knocking on the door.
However after paying over the odds the bailiff postponed himself until Monday (14/10/13) so my associate and I went down to the bit of Hove beach after Adele's house and parked up in a private road to smoke some marijuana. It was all going well until we wandered back to the car and noticed there was a Sussex Police Support Unit (PSU) waiting by the gates of "Shoreham" docks for us. It was just as we finished our long stoned marathon walk back to the car that the PSU started up its engine and led us out of area.
So anyway just as 'we' were arguing over whether "Portslade" was indeed the most depressing place on earth a crippled little white boy emerged on the sidewalk trying to play basket ball with himself.
Therefore if I was being forced to carry on I would say that Rihanna knows what it's like to be forced to inflict pain for pain's sake.
02:25 on 14/10/13.
Anyway somewhere in once of those yesterdays; (http://watchitdie.blogspot.co.uk/2013/10/operation-misery-month-8-week-2-day-1.html) I remember saying something about not being able to write a review of Rihanna's first South African concert until at least the afternoon unless there's a major crisis. After all it is a poor country and we're all really drunk.
Unfortunately some people took this as a challenge to the very notion that they're poor so I was not only provided with information about Rihanna's Johannesburg concert I was presented with a significant dispute between sources. Anyway I feel comfortable enough to tell you that Rihanna appeared on stage somewhat significantly after the expected 15-20 minutes of lateness to perform the standard set-list. However the big talking point of the evening is that Rihanna dispensed with the usual costumes and instead wore the one outfit throughout the concert.
The exact nature of this 'outfit' which I believe involved black pants, a black sweatshirt, a black sun visor and a horrific amount of fake crystal will of course take me a few moments to delve into fashion. At 01:20 on 14/10/13 I hope you will excuse me after all I've got to finish a zoot.
Edited at around 01:40 on 14/10/13 to add:
Really the nicest thing I could say about Rihanna's 'choice' of outfit is that it looked like any one of her backing singers could have wandered out on stage to have given it a go.
The worst thing I could say is that it looked like any bit of the tat she's brought out for River Island.
However I believe it was intended to resemble the Giveachy designed cloak that Rihanna normally wears during the opening acts. Therefore I think it was sent to Rihanna by the French house of Givanchy to remind her that the slogan "G4Life" is perhaps not trademarkable. Under those circumstances could you refuse a personal gift from Givanchy?!
Edited again at around 01:50 on 14/10/13 to add;
Yeah I think the point I was generally working up to is that on Saturday (12/10/13) I went to Brighton. I am confused as to why I went to Brighton but I believe it was something to do with my 'friend' - I'm only allowed the "one" - telling me on Friday he may have been a twat so needed to borrow some money from me. So being a friend I agreed for him to pick me up in the morning. Under the pretext of much swearing on the Saturday afternoon he eventually picked me up.
On the drive down to Brighton it emerged that because he's a courier my 'mate' has to drive into something known as the "London Congestion Charge Zone" and apparently every time he does that he must pay "Transport for London (TfL)" GBP10. Unfortunately being a twat my best friend in the world decided not to do that and instead paid GBP10 to a third party website to charge him a fee to pay the "London Congestion Charge" on his behalf. Sadly on this one occasion a transaction genuinely failed meaning that the "London Congestion Charge" was not paid on my associates behalf.
Obviously my associate couldn't accept that and after months of arguing with TfL that GBP10 had risen to GBP280 and there were bailiffs knocking on the door.
However after paying over the odds the bailiff postponed himself until Monday (14/10/13) so my associate and I went down to the bit of Hove beach after Adele's house and parked up in a private road to smoke some marijuana. It was all going well until we wandered back to the car and noticed there was a Sussex Police Support Unit (PSU) waiting by the gates of "Shoreham" docks for us. It was just as we finished our long stoned marathon walk back to the car that the PSU started up its engine and led us out of area.
So anyway just as 'we' were arguing over whether "Portslade" was indeed the most depressing place on earth a crippled little white boy emerged on the sidewalk trying to play basket ball with himself.
Therefore if I was being forced to carry on I would say that Rihanna knows what it's like to be forced to inflict pain for pain's sake.
02:25 on 14/10/13.
Operation Misery: Month 8, Week 2, Day 1.
Subtitled; "Getting My Excuses in Early."
Having arrived in South Africa yesterday (12/10/13) Rihanna will this evening perform a concert in Johannesburg. This is the first concert of this third leg of Rihanna's Diamonds World Tour that will happen more or less in my timezone. However this actually presents me with a different set of problems.
As I think it is well established that Rihanna's CIA handlers/Live Nation (the management) will be insisting on their information blackout it will take 1-2 hours for unofficial information about the concert to become available. As South Africa is a developing rather then a developed nation this may take even longer. It will then take me about another hour to process that information and at least a further hour to write up a review. Assuming that Rihanna takes to the stage on time this takes me through to around 00:00-01:00 by which time I plan on being far too drunk to write a detailed round up of recent events surrounding Rihanna.
Take for example the fact that on Friday (11/10/13) a Court in Los Angeles granted Rihanna a temporary restraining order against Jonathan Whopper who attempted to break into Rihanna's home on September 29th (29/9/13) and October 4th (4/10/13). According to the application Mr Whopper believed that Rihanna was to be his future wife and on the October 4th visit threw a garden chair through a glass door at the address. As since the 2012 para-Olympic closing ceremony I have taken to referring to Rihanna as my 'Twittter wife" and am currently facing charges over some glass smashing related matters this clearly seems to be intended as a reference to me. As such the attack on Rihanna seems to have been carried out in order to leave Rihanna with no other option then to apply for a restraining order against Mr Whopper. The intention being that in low level gossip this will be interpreted as Rihanna rejecting me and my views and fully endorsing the management's plan for Rihanna's tour and her relationship with Chris Brown.
Coming on the International Day of the Girl when her western puppeteers were hoping that Malala Yousafzai would be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for her campaign for women's education the management were hoping that in more intellectual circles the restraining order hearing would be viewed as part of the "Rehabilitation of Rihanna" narrative that they've be trying to run since roughly the 2012 para-Olympic closing ceremony. The idea being that they are setting Rihanna these sort of challenges in order to empower her by teaching Rihanna to take responsibility for aspects of her own life through things like applying for a restraining order against Chris Brown. This "Rehabilitation of Rihanna" narrative is of course a nonsense intended to give a fig leaf of respectability to what is in reality just an attempt to inflict pain for the sake of inflicting pain.
As such unless there is some major crisis to deal with I don't intend to review tonight's concert until tomorrow - probably in the afternoon. That decision of course has nothing to do with the fact the concert clashes with "Homeland."
12:20 on 13/10/13.
Having arrived in South Africa yesterday (12/10/13) Rihanna will this evening perform a concert in Johannesburg. This is the first concert of this third leg of Rihanna's Diamonds World Tour that will happen more or less in my timezone. However this actually presents me with a different set of problems.
As I think it is well established that Rihanna's CIA handlers/Live Nation (the management) will be insisting on their information blackout it will take 1-2 hours for unofficial information about the concert to become available. As South Africa is a developing rather then a developed nation this may take even longer. It will then take me about another hour to process that information and at least a further hour to write up a review. Assuming that Rihanna takes to the stage on time this takes me through to around 00:00-01:00 by which time I plan on being far too drunk to write a detailed round up of recent events surrounding Rihanna.
Take for example the fact that on Friday (11/10/13) a Court in Los Angeles granted Rihanna a temporary restraining order against Jonathan Whopper who attempted to break into Rihanna's home on September 29th (29/9/13) and October 4th (4/10/13). According to the application Mr Whopper believed that Rihanna was to be his future wife and on the October 4th visit threw a garden chair through a glass door at the address. As since the 2012 para-Olympic closing ceremony I have taken to referring to Rihanna as my 'Twittter wife" and am currently facing charges over some glass smashing related matters this clearly seems to be intended as a reference to me. As such the attack on Rihanna seems to have been carried out in order to leave Rihanna with no other option then to apply for a restraining order against Mr Whopper. The intention being that in low level gossip this will be interpreted as Rihanna rejecting me and my views and fully endorsing the management's plan for Rihanna's tour and her relationship with Chris Brown.
Coming on the International Day of the Girl when her western puppeteers were hoping that Malala Yousafzai would be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for her campaign for women's education the management were hoping that in more intellectual circles the restraining order hearing would be viewed as part of the "Rehabilitation of Rihanna" narrative that they've be trying to run since roughly the 2012 para-Olympic closing ceremony. The idea being that they are setting Rihanna these sort of challenges in order to empower her by teaching Rihanna to take responsibility for aspects of her own life through things like applying for a restraining order against Chris Brown. This "Rehabilitation of Rihanna" narrative is of course a nonsense intended to give a fig leaf of respectability to what is in reality just an attempt to inflict pain for the sake of inflicting pain.
As such unless there is some major crisis to deal with I don't intend to review tonight's concert until tomorrow - probably in the afternoon. That decision of course has nothing to do with the fact the concert clashes with "Homeland."
12:20 on 13/10/13.
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