Recently I've been streaming the US TV Show; "The Affair." All five seasons of it.
Although it would only serve to pretend that a war is over when it really isn't I should probably take a detailed look at the 2014 show in its entirety.
Like the 2014 Movie "Gone Girl" it features this interesting He Said/She Said narrative device. That makes it relevant to any discussion about any form of human relationship. Particularly contentious ones such as rape allegations.
It is perhaps ironic then that the production was almost torn to pieces by the frenzied backlash that was the #MeToo movement.
As the title suggests the show is all about love, lust, sex and infidelity. As such it also makes large contributions to any discussion about what is acceptable in terms of sexual content on TV. Including the way that sexual content is produced and its impact on those involved.
Although I think Lina Esco should take note. The directors of The Affair did manage to shoot those vital sex scenes in Season 3, Episode 7 without having to Free the Nipple.
However here I'm only going to focus on the British actress Ruth Wilson. Who plays the central, American character; "Alison Bailey." She is an actress a lot of people have been keeping an eye for a long time.
British viewers though may not be familiar with her because she's been off in America doing The Affair since 2014. While American viewers might not be familiar with the work she did prior to The Affair.
Once you know the origin story you might want to go back and re-watch The Affair.
Some of you may remember that back in 1999 there was this global movie phenomenon; "Blair Witch Project."
All the promotional work behind the movie claimed that it was the result of a real event. A group of hikers had gone off into the woods and disappeared. This found footage was all that ever recovered of them.
In 2008 the British TV network Channel 4 tried repeating the trick. Heavily advertising the special feature length documentary it was going to air. Called; "The Doctor Who Hears Voices."
The claim was that a documentary team had been following a group of about six junior doctors around as they completed their training.
However during filming one of the doctors suffered a psychotic breakdown. That doctor's story then became the documentary maker's sole focus. The film being the result.
It was of course all fake. Ruth Wilson played the junior doctor who supposedly had the psychotic breakdown.
In that role Ruth Wilson was just astonishingly convincing. Trust me, I know the actual psychotic junior doctor she was pretending to be.
As an actress this is an incredibly difficult thing to do. On a par with Julianne Moore's Oscar winning role in the 2014 movie; "Still Alice." In which she portrayed a woman slowly being consumed by dementia.
What makes a role like that so difficult is that the fact your brain is working properly makes it almost impossible to behave as though your brain is not working properly.
So yes. You might want to take another look at that storyline about Alison Bailey wanting to return to her training as a junior doctor.
Off the back of The Doctor Who Hears Voices Ruth Wilson was cast in the BBC drama; "Luther." Playing the sociopathic/psychotic "Alice Morgan" character.
So Ruth Wilson is rather someone who has to carry the burden of being greeted by everyone she meets with the words;
"You make a very convincing psychotic."
Whilst working on The Affair Ruth Wilson provided one of the voices in the 2014 movie; "Locke." The wife. Not the Croydon trash who claimed to be having Tom Hardy's baby.
Just in case you were wondering why the Noah Soloway character drove a black BMW X5 in The Affair.
Such is Ruth Wilson's professional reputation that in 2018 the BBC allowed her to make the drama mini-series; "Mrs Wilson." In which she played the character "Alison Wilson" - her own grandmother.
Rather like mine Ruth Wilson's grandfather apparently got up to some very sketchy things in the Second World War. A detail which makes me feel very protective of her. Almost as if we were cousins or something.
I think Ruth Wilson is now best known for her role in the BBC/HBO drama; "His Dark Materials." Where she plays the "Marisa Coulter" character.
If you still don't know what all the fuss is about go and watch that scene in Episode 3 of His Dark Materials. Where the Gyptian boy falls down the elevator shaft. Leaving Ruth Wilson to act alongside her CGI Gibbon Daemon.
So I don't know what you all thought of Ruth Wilson's sex scenes in The Affair. But for me the "Ick" factor was through the roof.
It's certainly a funny name on that Executive Producer though, isn't it.
17:20 on 30/12/19 (UK date).
Monday 30 December 2019
Sunday 29 December 2019
Lost And Delirious.
At the 2019 Eurovision Song Contest Greece were represented by Katerine Duska. With the song; "Better Love."
Here Greece were doing something incredibly brave. They were trying to discuss women's issues at the Eurovision Song Contest. Not only that but heterosexual women's issues.
They were almost literally represented on stage by a giant vagina. Some of you may claim that Greece's stage set more closely resembled a giant vulva. However I assure that if your vulva look anything like that then you need a wash dear.
The Eurovision community is largely made up of very camp gay men. It is a long running joke that these very camp gay men immediately vomit the moment they're made to think about women and their genitals.
The other brave thing that Greece did was that they just completely ignored all of the year's trends. Instead choosing to proudly plough their own furrow.
They decided to look at the issue of sexual violence against women.
However they took a rounded and balanced approach to the issue. Rather than the relentless drum beat that no woman would ever want to have sex with a man. Meaning that every time a man has sex with a woman it must be rape.
That rather strange way of thinking we just seem to have accepted as normal in recent years. Just in case former UK Director of Public Prosecutions (DPP) Alison Saunders is still wondering why she was included on the No Luck Losers list this panto season
The reason why issues of nudity and sexuality come up so much at Eurovision is that they are so complicated it is impossible to find a single, correct answer. So we can keep talking about them year-in, year-out and always come up with different answers.
Such is the complexity of the issue I'm not even going to attempt to address it here, on a Sunday afternoon.
However Katerine Duska was supposed to serve as a reference to the actress Jessica Pare. Both are from Montreal, Canada.
Well that's what she set out to do.
The moment she saw what Sweden had brung Katerine Duska suddenly decided she wanted to be Meghan Markle instead. Which you have to admit is a pretty clever trick to pull in the heat of battle.
Jessica Pare currently plays the "Amanda - Mandy - Ellis" character in the US TV Show "SEAL Team."
Elsewhere during the Song Contest I discussed how SEAL Team has really picked up the baton from another US TV Show "The Unit." That really revolutionised the way that women are portrayed in action/war TV shows. Which have traditionally been aimed at men.
Although I should point out that the Executive Producer of The Unit, Shawn Ryan, is currently producing the US TV Show "S.W.A.T."
So there is a huge rivalry going on between SEAL Team and S.W.A.T. You may have noticed the growing similarities between the Mandy Ellis character and the "Jessica Cortez" character. Played by former Bond girl Stephanie Sigman.
Apparently Jessica Pare was also in the US TV Show; "Mad Men." Alongside The Unit alum John Hamm. Although I never watched that. It's portrayal of a workplace just didn't resonate with me like something such as "Game of Thrones."
What I know Jessica Pare from is the 2001 movie "Lost And Delirious." Where she starred alongside Mischa Barton, who went on to star in; "The O.C," and Piper Perabo. Who went onto star in the movie; "Coyote Ugly."
Lost And Delirious is a lesbian love story set in an all girls boarding school. Which, admittedly, sounds like a porno. And in its own way it is. It's own neurotic way.
The story featured in Lost And Delirious is apparently a very popular one within the lesbian community.
I though managed to stumble across it on TV while just super-high. And found it to be terrifyingly specific.
To the point I had to buy it on DVD. In order to just completely take it apart to confirm that; No. It was just a weird coincidence.
So I have seen the woman from SEAL Team naked and pretending to have sex. And I can watch the woman from SEAL Team naked and pretending to have sex any time I like.
I'm sure the less hungover amongst us can spin that up into a discussion about; "Revenge Porn."
The modern phenomenon of vengeful lovers publishing sexually explicit material on their exes on the Internet. With the intent of causing them harm and embarrassment.
I don't think its the nudity and pretend sex Jessica Pare should be worried about.
I think she should be way more embarrassed by the fact that I've basically seen her High School Year Book. Where she's all gangly, hasn't quite grown into her limbs, still wearing braces and is only just learning how to use make-up.
You know. The person who still occasionally breaks the surface in SEAL Team.
I've not yet decided whether I'm in an extremely charitable mood. Or an extremely spiteful mood.
I have though decided that I'm going to share with you what really freaked me out about the movie Lost And Delirious.
It featured the Ani DiFranco song; "You Had Time."
This is widely recognised as one of the most beautiful songs ever written. By the author Nick Hornby and pretty much anybody who has been lucky enough to hear it.
One third of my World famous thrupple (that's what we're going with now, apparently) was once summoned by the High Priestess Ani DiFranco. The third that ended up with the epitaph; "Sam Hall."
So this is basically me going;
"Merry Christmas."
"The Global Lesbian community have had a meeting. You've been stripped of all your badges."
"Something to do with trading tall tales for spots on the guest list."
Although, to be fair, the whole thing probably freaked out Ani DiFranco a bit too. It must've looked like we were just acting out her; "Out Of Range" album.
So I feel I should point out that I didn't actually hear that album until 2013.
When the single "You Had Time" got constantly stuck in my head during Rihanna's Diamonds World Tour (DWT). Forcing me to buy the album from Amazon.
While waiting for the delivery I found myself literally locked up in a prison. Which rather threatened to hamper my efforts to break Rihanna out of her abusive relationship with Chris Brown.
So I feel I have earned my literal interpretation of the title track. (Both Versions).
17:30 on 29/12/19 (UK date).
Here Greece were doing something incredibly brave. They were trying to discuss women's issues at the Eurovision Song Contest. Not only that but heterosexual women's issues.
They were almost literally represented on stage by a giant vagina. Some of you may claim that Greece's stage set more closely resembled a giant vulva. However I assure that if your vulva look anything like that then you need a wash dear.
The Eurovision community is largely made up of very camp gay men. It is a long running joke that these very camp gay men immediately vomit the moment they're made to think about women and their genitals.
The other brave thing that Greece did was that they just completely ignored all of the year's trends. Instead choosing to proudly plough their own furrow.
They decided to look at the issue of sexual violence against women.
However they took a rounded and balanced approach to the issue. Rather than the relentless drum beat that no woman would ever want to have sex with a man. Meaning that every time a man has sex with a woman it must be rape.
That rather strange way of thinking we just seem to have accepted as normal in recent years. Just in case former UK Director of Public Prosecutions (DPP) Alison Saunders is still wondering why she was included on the No Luck Losers list this panto season
The reason why issues of nudity and sexuality come up so much at Eurovision is that they are so complicated it is impossible to find a single, correct answer. So we can keep talking about them year-in, year-out and always come up with different answers.
Such is the complexity of the issue I'm not even going to attempt to address it here, on a Sunday afternoon.
However Katerine Duska was supposed to serve as a reference to the actress Jessica Pare. Both are from Montreal, Canada.
Well that's what she set out to do.
The moment she saw what Sweden had brung Katerine Duska suddenly decided she wanted to be Meghan Markle instead. Which you have to admit is a pretty clever trick to pull in the heat of battle.
Jessica Pare currently plays the "Amanda - Mandy - Ellis" character in the US TV Show "SEAL Team."
Elsewhere during the Song Contest I discussed how SEAL Team has really picked up the baton from another US TV Show "The Unit." That really revolutionised the way that women are portrayed in action/war TV shows. Which have traditionally been aimed at men.
Although I should point out that the Executive Producer of The Unit, Shawn Ryan, is currently producing the US TV Show "S.W.A.T."
So there is a huge rivalry going on between SEAL Team and S.W.A.T. You may have noticed the growing similarities between the Mandy Ellis character and the "Jessica Cortez" character. Played by former Bond girl Stephanie Sigman.
Apparently Jessica Pare was also in the US TV Show; "Mad Men." Alongside The Unit alum John Hamm. Although I never watched that. It's portrayal of a workplace just didn't resonate with me like something such as "Game of Thrones."
What I know Jessica Pare from is the 2001 movie "Lost And Delirious." Where she starred alongside Mischa Barton, who went on to star in; "The O.C," and Piper Perabo. Who went onto star in the movie; "Coyote Ugly."
Lost And Delirious is a lesbian love story set in an all girls boarding school. Which, admittedly, sounds like a porno. And in its own way it is. It's own neurotic way.
The story featured in Lost And Delirious is apparently a very popular one within the lesbian community.
I though managed to stumble across it on TV while just super-high. And found it to be terrifyingly specific.
To the point I had to buy it on DVD. In order to just completely take it apart to confirm that; No. It was just a weird coincidence.
So I have seen the woman from SEAL Team naked and pretending to have sex. And I can watch the woman from SEAL Team naked and pretending to have sex any time I like.
I'm sure the less hungover amongst us can spin that up into a discussion about; "Revenge Porn."
The modern phenomenon of vengeful lovers publishing sexually explicit material on their exes on the Internet. With the intent of causing them harm and embarrassment.
I don't think its the nudity and pretend sex Jessica Pare should be worried about.
I think she should be way more embarrassed by the fact that I've basically seen her High School Year Book. Where she's all gangly, hasn't quite grown into her limbs, still wearing braces and is only just learning how to use make-up.
You know. The person who still occasionally breaks the surface in SEAL Team.
I've not yet decided whether I'm in an extremely charitable mood. Or an extremely spiteful mood.
I have though decided that I'm going to share with you what really freaked me out about the movie Lost And Delirious.
It featured the Ani DiFranco song; "You Had Time."
This is widely recognised as one of the most beautiful songs ever written. By the author Nick Hornby and pretty much anybody who has been lucky enough to hear it.
One third of my World famous thrupple (that's what we're going with now, apparently) was once summoned by the High Priestess Ani DiFranco. The third that ended up with the epitaph; "Sam Hall."
So this is basically me going;
"Merry Christmas."
"The Global Lesbian community have had a meeting. You've been stripped of all your badges."
"Something to do with trading tall tales for spots on the guest list."
Although, to be fair, the whole thing probably freaked out Ani DiFranco a bit too. It must've looked like we were just acting out her; "Out Of Range" album.
So I feel I should point out that I didn't actually hear that album until 2013.
When the single "You Had Time" got constantly stuck in my head during Rihanna's Diamonds World Tour (DWT). Forcing me to buy the album from Amazon.
While waiting for the delivery I found myself literally locked up in a prison. Which rather threatened to hamper my efforts to break Rihanna out of her abusive relationship with Chris Brown.
So I feel I have earned my literal interpretation of the title track. (Both Versions).
17:30 on 29/12/19 (UK date).
Saturday 28 December 2019
The 2018 Eurovision Song Contest: Brooklyn Nine Nine.
I'll agree. A somewhat late and somewhat left-field entry.
The US TV Show; "Brooklyn Nine Nine."
In the UK Brooklyn Nine Nine is broadcast on the E4 channel. Part of the Channel 4 network. Like constantly.
However new episodes are traditionally broadcast in the spring. At around 21:00 on Thursday evenings.
So obviously I had to miss the May 8th (8/5/18) episode. As I was watching Eurovision's Second Semi-Final. However I did make sure to record it.
During the Second Semi-Final I checked Twitter and saw that Brooklyn Nine Nine was the number 1 global trend. Convincing me that I was missing the greatest episode ever broadcast.
It turned out though that it was just the show's fans protesting that it had been cancelled.
I think Brooklyn Nine Nine is the sort of show that would be welcomed by the Eurovision community. For a number of reasons.
Firstly its strong work in promoting gay-rights. Particularly the way it goes about it.
The "Captain Raymond Holt" character is played by Andre Braugher. Who some of you may remember from the US TV Show; "Homicide: Life on the Street." Which ran from 1993 to 1999.
At the time this cop show really revolutionised the way that TV shows are made. It was one of the first shows to be shot on handheld video cameras. Whereas before only large, static cameras had been used.
This gave the show a much more realistic feel. With the camera moving much more as a real person would move. As a result Homicide: Life of the Street was hailed by the critics and immediately copied by pretty much everyone.
If you were wondering what Andre Braugher was doing between Homicide: Life on the Street and Brooklyn Nine Nine it was gay-rights activism. Proper, hardcore gay-rights activism.
I am one of the few people who've sat through the 2003 TV movie; "Soldier's Girl." So allow me to assure you that all those jokes about the; "African-American Gay and Lesbian New York City Policeman's Association (AAGLNYCPA)" are not jokes at all.
Within the show's pilot it's established that the Raymond Holt character is gay. Apart from the fact that he keeps a small Gay Pride flag on his desk it then really doesn't come up at all. After all why should his sexuality need to come up in what is a workplace sitcom.
Occasionally the joke will revolve around the Captain being in a bad mood because his spouse is away on a long work trip. Or that the Captain's dog has run away because it misses the absent spouse.
In those scenarios the fact that the Captain's spouse is another man is almost an afterthought. As I think it should be.
It helps that both the Raymond Holt character and his spouse, the Kevin Cozner character are two of the dullest human beings every created. About as far away as it is possible to get from that, often negative, stereotype of a gay man as some sort of flaming queen.
I think this approach is really important when trying to promote gay rights.
I know from experience there are people who will just shut down the moment you mention the word; "Gay." As soon as they've heard that they will not hear another word you have to say.
I also know from experience though that most people are actually quite reasonable. Provided you tell them the story first, only adding in the homophobes' shut down code at the last minute.
A prime example of this is actually Finland's 2018 Song Contest representative Saraa Alto.
In her time on the UK version of X-Factor Saraa Alto was used as a metaphor for a tragic love story.
Between a young Finnish woman and a young South African man. Their relationship was hampered by the fact that prior to meeting he had actually been legally declared Persona Non Grata in Finland.
This is a common problem for gay couples. With gay marriage, in its legal sense, not being recognised people can't apply for visas and citizenship for their spouses. Long distance relationships are hard enough without that extra level of legal pressure.
Saraa Alto is gay. Like super gay. However the metaphor she was used to tell did not mention homosexuality at all. It merely focused on the legal, immigration issues.
As a result a lot of previously homophobic people suddenly realised. Yeah, actually that's a really sh*t way to treat people.
All we need to do now is find a way for Saraa Alto, as a gay woman, to be accepted by the gay men who traditionally make up a large section of the Eurovision community. That though will have to be a story for another day.
I also think Brooklyn Nine Nine would be popular with the Eurovision community because it's certainly not afraid of an in-joke.
In fact I think the reason people love it so much is that it often feels that rather than watching a TV show you're being allowed to share in the fun they're having making it.
A prime example of this is the "Rosa Diaz" character.
Rosa Diaz is supposed to be this tough-as-nails, leather wearing, motorcycle riding, knife wielding badass. As they put it in one episode; "She naturally dresses like the female bounty hunter in every Steampunk novel."
It turns out though that the actress who plays her, Stephanie Beatriz, is just as absolutely silly as everyone else in the show.
So if Eurovision fans were to watch the first season of Brooklyn Nine Nine they would immediately notice two things;
Firstly Stephanie Beatriz's voice has not fully matured.
Secondly almost every scene ends abruptly. With Rosa Diaz breaking character and collapsing into fits of giggles.
So in the second season a new drug known as; "Giggle Pig" sweeps the precinct. Forcing them to set up a special taskforce, headed by Rosa Diaz.
This generates lots of dialogue such as;
"Is there any progress on that giggle yet Diaz?"
"Rosa! You know we can't have giggle in this precinct!"
And;
"OMG! Diaz. This giggle is costing us so much money!"
Which, of course, just makes it a million times worse.
That said I couldn't help but feel that possibly it was time for Brooklyn Nine Nine to be cancelled. Due to series of clues;
For example Season 5, Episode 8; "Return to Skyfire." That was terrible and should never have been made.
That particular scene in Season 5, Episode 12; "Safehouse." Where all the characters are gathered in the briefing/writers room. The main character Jake Peralta character keeps pitching jokes. All of which fall flat.
That suggested to me that the writers were really starting to run out of jokes. Although the constant threat of being cancelled may well have stifled their creativity somewhat.
Mainly though it was Season 5, Episode 10; "Game Night." Where Rosa Diaz comes out as bisexual to her parents.
Now I'm pretty sure it wasn't the notion of a bisexual woman that offended me.
After all I have famously been in two, slightly overlapping relationships with bisexual women. And thus, by extension, their numerous girlfriends.
Due to that experience I know that I am only one third of those stories. In some cases I'm not even a part at all. I've also learnt that trust is a really important factor in any healthy, adult relationship.
So no. These stories aren't cards I'll be playing just to win arguments on the Internet.
There is though one anecdote I can probably share.
We were in this bar/club together. She was, shall we say, unattached in the other department.
It was a straight bar. However she thought the woman behind the bar might not be. And was definitely interested in finding out. Yet lacked the confidence to go and talk to her.
It was a packed bar so I was sitting in the one available seat. She was sitting on my lap. As we whispered, plotted and planned how she was going to go get her, girl.
I think even the pedantic, nerdy Amy Santiago character would agree;
At that point I literally could not have been more supportive.
What annoyed me about the Game Night episode is that suddenly all the creativity and imagination of the Raymond Holt character had disappeared. It was just a succession of long-assed, boring speeches.
There is supposedly an old rule in TV and Movies that you are supposed to; "Show Not Tell."
That is to say that rather than just having a narrator telling the story you are supposed to convey the story in its entirety. Including its emotions.
So for example you watch a horror movie to experience the emotion of fear. You watch a sitcom to experience the emotion of happiness or laughter.
That Game Night episode was just 25 minutes of long, boring speeches. Without a joke amongst them. It somehow left even me feeling that bisexual women should be cancelled.
My other problem was that Stephanie Beatriz is herself bisexual.
During the making of that season she was going through the process of marrying a man. Giving lots of media interviews about how marrying a man didn't suddenly make her less bisexual or invalidate the gay relationships she'd had in the past.
That struck me as something which commonly happens in long-running TV shows which have possibly past their prime.
The writers start asking the cast, their family, their friends, their neighbours, the mailman what's going on in their lives. In the desperate hope of finding new ideas to write about.
Brooklyn Nine Nine was renewed by another network. And did start to redeem itself in Season 6, Episode 6; "The Crime Scene."
That centred around Rosa Diaz getting a new girlfriend. Who was a trainee hairdresser. Meaning everyday Diaz turned up with a new haircut, each more ridiculous than the last.
That was silly enough that I was prepared to allow them the one long-assed speech.
17:00 on 28/12/19 (UK date).
The US TV Show; "Brooklyn Nine Nine."
In the UK Brooklyn Nine Nine is broadcast on the E4 channel. Part of the Channel 4 network. Like constantly.
However new episodes are traditionally broadcast in the spring. At around 21:00 on Thursday evenings.
So obviously I had to miss the May 8th (8/5/18) episode. As I was watching Eurovision's Second Semi-Final. However I did make sure to record it.
During the Second Semi-Final I checked Twitter and saw that Brooklyn Nine Nine was the number 1 global trend. Convincing me that I was missing the greatest episode ever broadcast.
It turned out though that it was just the show's fans protesting that it had been cancelled.
I think Brooklyn Nine Nine is the sort of show that would be welcomed by the Eurovision community. For a number of reasons.
Firstly its strong work in promoting gay-rights. Particularly the way it goes about it.
The "Captain Raymond Holt" character is played by Andre Braugher. Who some of you may remember from the US TV Show; "Homicide: Life on the Street." Which ran from 1993 to 1999.
At the time this cop show really revolutionised the way that TV shows are made. It was one of the first shows to be shot on handheld video cameras. Whereas before only large, static cameras had been used.
This gave the show a much more realistic feel. With the camera moving much more as a real person would move. As a result Homicide: Life of the Street was hailed by the critics and immediately copied by pretty much everyone.
If you were wondering what Andre Braugher was doing between Homicide: Life on the Street and Brooklyn Nine Nine it was gay-rights activism. Proper, hardcore gay-rights activism.
I am one of the few people who've sat through the 2003 TV movie; "Soldier's Girl." So allow me to assure you that all those jokes about the; "African-American Gay and Lesbian New York City Policeman's Association (AAGLNYCPA)" are not jokes at all.
Within the show's pilot it's established that the Raymond Holt character is gay. Apart from the fact that he keeps a small Gay Pride flag on his desk it then really doesn't come up at all. After all why should his sexuality need to come up in what is a workplace sitcom.
Occasionally the joke will revolve around the Captain being in a bad mood because his spouse is away on a long work trip. Or that the Captain's dog has run away because it misses the absent spouse.
In those scenarios the fact that the Captain's spouse is another man is almost an afterthought. As I think it should be.
It helps that both the Raymond Holt character and his spouse, the Kevin Cozner character are two of the dullest human beings every created. About as far away as it is possible to get from that, often negative, stereotype of a gay man as some sort of flaming queen.
I think this approach is really important when trying to promote gay rights.
I know from experience there are people who will just shut down the moment you mention the word; "Gay." As soon as they've heard that they will not hear another word you have to say.
I also know from experience though that most people are actually quite reasonable. Provided you tell them the story first, only adding in the homophobes' shut down code at the last minute.
A prime example of this is actually Finland's 2018 Song Contest representative Saraa Alto.
In her time on the UK version of X-Factor Saraa Alto was used as a metaphor for a tragic love story.
Between a young Finnish woman and a young South African man. Their relationship was hampered by the fact that prior to meeting he had actually been legally declared Persona Non Grata in Finland.
This is a common problem for gay couples. With gay marriage, in its legal sense, not being recognised people can't apply for visas and citizenship for their spouses. Long distance relationships are hard enough without that extra level of legal pressure.
Saraa Alto is gay. Like super gay. However the metaphor she was used to tell did not mention homosexuality at all. It merely focused on the legal, immigration issues.
As a result a lot of previously homophobic people suddenly realised. Yeah, actually that's a really sh*t way to treat people.
All we need to do now is find a way for Saraa Alto, as a gay woman, to be accepted by the gay men who traditionally make up a large section of the Eurovision community. That though will have to be a story for another day.
I also think Brooklyn Nine Nine would be popular with the Eurovision community because it's certainly not afraid of an in-joke.
In fact I think the reason people love it so much is that it often feels that rather than watching a TV show you're being allowed to share in the fun they're having making it.
A prime example of this is the "Rosa Diaz" character.
Rosa Diaz is supposed to be this tough-as-nails, leather wearing, motorcycle riding, knife wielding badass. As they put it in one episode; "She naturally dresses like the female bounty hunter in every Steampunk novel."
It turns out though that the actress who plays her, Stephanie Beatriz, is just as absolutely silly as everyone else in the show.
So if Eurovision fans were to watch the first season of Brooklyn Nine Nine they would immediately notice two things;
Firstly Stephanie Beatriz's voice has not fully matured.
Secondly almost every scene ends abruptly. With Rosa Diaz breaking character and collapsing into fits of giggles.
So in the second season a new drug known as; "Giggle Pig" sweeps the precinct. Forcing them to set up a special taskforce, headed by Rosa Diaz.
This generates lots of dialogue such as;
"Is there any progress on that giggle yet Diaz?"
"Rosa! You know we can't have giggle in this precinct!"
And;
"OMG! Diaz. This giggle is costing us so much money!"
Which, of course, just makes it a million times worse.
That said I couldn't help but feel that possibly it was time for Brooklyn Nine Nine to be cancelled. Due to series of clues;
For example Season 5, Episode 8; "Return to Skyfire." That was terrible and should never have been made.
That particular scene in Season 5, Episode 12; "Safehouse." Where all the characters are gathered in the briefing/writers room. The main character Jake Peralta character keeps pitching jokes. All of which fall flat.
That suggested to me that the writers were really starting to run out of jokes. Although the constant threat of being cancelled may well have stifled their creativity somewhat.
Mainly though it was Season 5, Episode 10; "Game Night." Where Rosa Diaz comes out as bisexual to her parents.
Now I'm pretty sure it wasn't the notion of a bisexual woman that offended me.
After all I have famously been in two, slightly overlapping relationships with bisexual women. And thus, by extension, their numerous girlfriends.
Due to that experience I know that I am only one third of those stories. In some cases I'm not even a part at all. I've also learnt that trust is a really important factor in any healthy, adult relationship.
So no. These stories aren't cards I'll be playing just to win arguments on the Internet.
There is though one anecdote I can probably share.
We were in this bar/club together. She was, shall we say, unattached in the other department.
It was a straight bar. However she thought the woman behind the bar might not be. And was definitely interested in finding out. Yet lacked the confidence to go and talk to her.
It was a packed bar so I was sitting in the one available seat. She was sitting on my lap. As we whispered, plotted and planned how she was going to go get her, girl.
I think even the pedantic, nerdy Amy Santiago character would agree;
At that point I literally could not have been more supportive.
What annoyed me about the Game Night episode is that suddenly all the creativity and imagination of the Raymond Holt character had disappeared. It was just a succession of long-assed, boring speeches.
There is supposedly an old rule in TV and Movies that you are supposed to; "Show Not Tell."
That is to say that rather than just having a narrator telling the story you are supposed to convey the story in its entirety. Including its emotions.
So for example you watch a horror movie to experience the emotion of fear. You watch a sitcom to experience the emotion of happiness or laughter.
That Game Night episode was just 25 minutes of long, boring speeches. Without a joke amongst them. It somehow left even me feeling that bisexual women should be cancelled.
My other problem was that Stephanie Beatriz is herself bisexual.
During the making of that season she was going through the process of marrying a man. Giving lots of media interviews about how marrying a man didn't suddenly make her less bisexual or invalidate the gay relationships she'd had in the past.
That struck me as something which commonly happens in long-running TV shows which have possibly past their prime.
The writers start asking the cast, their family, their friends, their neighbours, the mailman what's going on in their lives. In the desperate hope of finding new ideas to write about.
Brooklyn Nine Nine was renewed by another network. And did start to redeem itself in Season 6, Episode 6; "The Crime Scene."
That centred around Rosa Diaz getting a new girlfriend. Who was a trainee hairdresser. Meaning everyday Diaz turned up with a new haircut, each more ridiculous than the last.
That was silly enough that I was prepared to allow them the one long-assed speech.
17:00 on 28/12/19 (UK date).
Monday 23 December 2019
Eurovision 2019: ASIE: Israel/Palestine Conflict Pt.2
A direct continuation of Part 1; https://watchitdie.blogspot.com/2019/06/eurovision-2019-asie-israelpalestine.html
Following the Song Contest Israel's government collapsed.
This was caused by Netanyahu's Likud Party's inability to resolve a dispute between the United Right coalition and another of its coalition partners. The Yisrael Beiteinu or "Israel Our Home" Party led by Avigdor Lieberman.
Like Jewish Home and the other members of the United Right coalition Yisrael Beiteinu is a Zionist party. That means it is committed to the expansion of Israel as a Jewish state.
However, unlike the United Right coalition Yisrael Beiteinu is a secular party rather than an Orthodox Jewish one. Meaning that it wishes to create a secular nation. Rather than one based on Jewish religious law.
Also since the Song Contest my coverage has been deemed to be not anti-Semitic enough. Resulting in me being blocked from Twitter. Really preventing me from having contact with any Israelis. Jewish or otherwise.
Which is particularly frustrating at the moment. I could certainly do with some feedback as I drop bombs across the entire region.
However my limited understanding is that the dispute between the United Right and Yisrael Beiteinu is twofold;
Firstly there is the issue of compulsory military service. Yisrael Beiteinu believe this should apply to all Israeli citizens. The United Right coalition believe that members of the Ultra Orthodox community should be exempt. The same Ultra Orthodox community they represent.
The other major cause of friction is over Israel's practise of paying Ultra Orthodox men a monthly stipend to study the Talmud rather than work. The Ultra Orthodox United Right are very keen on this. While Yisrael Beiteinu and the, roughly, 90% of Israel's Jews who are not Ultra Orthodox are very opposed to it.
In its 2019 Song Contest entry Britain raised the issue of automation in the workplace. Along with how, in the future, it may led to nations paying their citizens a Universal Basic Income. Essentially paying people not to work because all the work is being done by machines.
It shows how even the Israeli far-right is still pretty left-of-centre. Israel has been providing a Universal Basic Income for decades. Provided you're an Ultra Orthodox Jew. And a man.
At the September 2019 election Avigdor Lieberman's gamble did seem to pay off. Wrapping himself in the secular afterglow of the Eurovision Song Contest Yisrael Beiteinu increased their number of seats by 3 to 8.
However it did not pay off enough. Yisrael Beiteinu failed to win enough seats to exclude United Right and form a coalition with just Likud.
Yisrael Beiteinu also did not win enough seats to exclude Likud and form a coalition with the Blue & White coalition. Which won exactly the same number of seats as Likud.
Truly anything is always possible in Israeli politics. However the chances of Blue & White and United Right forming a coalition were always going to be extremely slim.
So once again Israel has failed to form a government. Meaning it gets to experience a third General Election in March 2020.
In his physical appearance Kobi Marimi closely resembles Freddie Mercury, lead singer of legendary rock band "Queen."
That allows you to bring into conversation all of Queen and Freddie Mercury's body of work. Particularly the song; "The Great Pretender." The theme song of former US President Obama's ill-fated Paris Agreement.
There has been a recent resurgence in interest in the work of both Freddie Mercury and Queen due to the 2018 biopic; "Bohemian Rhapsody." This saw Freddie Mercury being played by the Egyptian-American actor Rami Malik.
The reference to Rami Malik allows you to bring in the relationship between Israel and its neighbour Egypt. Both past, present and future. Significant given the Eurovision Song Contest's role in securing the 1978 Camp David Accords.
It also allows me to mention the Egyptian media's coverage of Malik winning the 2019 Best Actor Oscar for the Freddie Mercury role. The Ahram news agency basically ran the headline;
"RAMI MALIK WINS OSCAR! OTHERS ALSO PRESENT."
Which I thought was hilarious. It certainly showed a lot more self-awareness than the British media's coverage of Olivia Coleman winning the Best Actress Oscar.Which didn't even acknowledge that others were present.
At around 18:20 on 23/12/19 (UK date) think you all know how this goes now. It drags on for 8 nights and each one's slightly crappier than the last.
Edited at around 17:00 on 24/12/19 (UK date) to add;
Rami Malik's big break-through role came in the 2015 show; "Mr Robot." I hesitate to describe it as a TV Show. It was one of the first productions made exclusively for the Amazon Prime online streaming service.
Also featuring in Mr Robot was the American actress Frankie Shaw. She has since gone on to write, produce and star in the show; "S.M.I.L.F" for the US broadcast network Showtime.
Along with "The Orville" and "Blindspot" S.M.I.L.F was one of the very first shows I ever streamed online.
I didn't mention it at the time because I really don't want to getting into the situation of filing an incident report on every TV show I happen to stream.
Also S.M.I.L.F is one of those character driven shows which isn't really about anything in particular. It's essentially the diary of a poor single mother raising her child in Boston, Massachusetts, US.
I enjoyed it though. But then I am the sort of person who can find the humour in a woman masturbating to fantasies about being sexually assaulted by Harvey Weinstein. Only to remember she's got Fiery Hot Cheetos dust on her fingers.
Hers is certainly not the sort of voice you see every day on mainstream US TV.
Since the Song Contest I've been able to watch the second season of S.M.I.L.F. The fact that I didn't mention that is was one of the first shows I streamed online seems to have caused anxiety on set.
For example in the second season characters frequently make a big display of drinking bottles of Guinness. As if it were an unpopular product placement deal they'd had foisted upon them.
The episode titles also seem very similar to the episode titles used in Blindspot. Which read like cryptic crossword clues.
The anxiety seems to have gotten so bad that S.M.I.L.F was forced to draft in support from an awkwardly acronymed emotional support animal. One who continues to be married to the character "Baby" from the 1987 movie "Dirty Dancing."
The anxiety probably doesn't help that one of the main stars of the show is Rosie O'Donnell. That very fat lesbian who absolutely promised that she would leave the US if Donald Trump was ever elected President.
So it must be a bit of a headache for her. Having one of Trump's key advisers loving her work and agreeing with her on pretty much everything else.
I suppose you could turn Frankie Shaw's performance anxiety into a discussion about the challenges women face in breaking into the TV and movie industry.
Taking a TV show or movie you've been working on for years and showing it to millions of people is obviously quite a nerve wracking experience. Particularly if you've got backers to invest millions of dollars in the project on the promise people will like it.
Generally speaking men tend to be quite hard headed and confident of their own abilities. While women tend to be more neurotic and unsure of themselves.
I can't help but wonder whether that, rather than discrimination, is what prevents women from leading more TV and movie productions.
A prime example of this would be; "The Mindy Project." A US sitcom which ran from 2012 to 2017. Created and staring Mindy Kaling.
Watching the show it was pretty clear that Mindy Kaling would listen to all the feedback to her project. Taking any criticism on board and constantly making changes in an effort to keep everyone happy.
So, for example, people complained that it didn't feature enough non-white characters. Despite Mindy Kaling herself being of Indian heritage. Almost instantly the show dropped a white practice nurse character replacing her with a black character.
Then people complained they missed the white practice nurse. Leading to the show to bring back the character. Dropping the black character but introducing a new black character to compensate.
I can't say that I watched the show regularly. However in every episode I did watch it seemed the cast and plot had changed completely from the last episode I'd watched.
That made it seem like really hard work and eventually I gave up. It seems that quite a lot of people agreed with me on this and the show was cancelled in 2015. Only to be rescued by the streaming service Hulu.
I can't help but feel that a man would have ignored the criticism and just ploughed ahead with their artistic vision regardless.
Prior to appearing in the Song Contest Kobi Marimi was probably most well known for playing the role of; "Natan, Rabbi of Gaza" in the opera; "Messiah Now."
This dealt with the concept of the Jewish Messiah and an offshoot of Judaism known as Messianic Judaism.
Probably one of the most famous Messianic Jewish sects is Christianity.
Christians believe that Jesus Christ, a Jew from Bethlehem in modern day Israel is the Messiah.
However Christians also believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God. This is where they diverge from traditional Judaism.
In the Jewish tradition "Messiah" means simply "King" or "Leader." A mortal being anointed by God. "Messiah" literally translates as; "Anointed."
Rather like how Roman Catholics believe the Pope is anointed by God to lead them. Or how Church of England Protestants believe God has anointed Queen Elizabeth II and her bloodline to lead them.
Christians believe that Jesus Christ is not just anointed by God but God himself. God made flesh and blood here on Earth. This is heretical to Jews who believe that God can never be known, let alone seen. He certainly can't take on human form.
It is this heresy which led the Jews to demand that the Romans executed Jesus Christ.
Or as the 1979 movie; "Monty Python's Life of Brian" put it;
"He's not the Messiah. He's just a very naughty boy."
Aside from explaining one of the main ideological differences between Judaism and Christianity this also seemed to be a bit of a joke at my expense.
One of my most famous distinguishing features are full thickness scars on the palms of my hands. The result of third degree thermic burns.
What is curious is that these scars have formed in the shape of Stigmata. The supposed marks in the hands and feet of Jesus Christ where the Romans nailed him to the cross. At the Jews insistence.
Me, being the guy named Sovereign with stigmata on his hands, can freak Christians out a bit. Particularly now I seem to have added a Magdalene prostitute to the roster.
The only way I can make it worse is by pointing out that I chose neither the name nor the scars. They chose me.
My apparent anointment is also quite significant to Shia Muslims.
All Muslims believe that God has sent a series of Prophets to Earth to act as guides for humans. Jesus Christ was one such Prophet. With Muhammad being the most recent, famous and important.
Sunni Muslims believe that the Prophet Muhammad is the last Prophet that God will send to Earth. Shia Muslims believe that God will send one final Prophet.
Officially the Shia Islamic Republic of Iran is built around preparation for the arrival of this final Prophet.
Some within Iran have suggested that I am that final Prophet. Apparently now I've been blocked by Twitter they're just writing messages on paper and chucking them down a well. In the hope they'll reach me eventually.
I suspect though they might be attempting to wind people up.
But, as the old joke goes;
"My hands. They certainly open a lot of doors in that part of the World."
At around 17:10 on 24/12/19 (UK date) you know there is more to come.
Edited at around 16:30 on 25/12/19 (UK date) to copy & paste;
Over the years there have been many who have claimed to be the King of the Jews. With varying degrees of success.
However the musical "Messiah Now!" deals specifically with Sabbatai Zevi. Who was reasonably successful in claiming to be the Messiah in the 17th Century.
Sabbatai Zevi was born in Izmir, Turkey. At the time this was the Ottoman Empire. So it was easy for Sabbatai Zevi to travel to Egypt and then onto Gaza, Palestine. However he was prevented from entering Jerusalem.
So I think it's really best I stop explaining those funny road markings there. After all we've all read Hamas' new charter. And we all remember the attacks in Christchurch, New Zealand.
Sabbatai Zevi was eventually forced to convert to Islam by Turkish Emperor Mehmed IV (the Hunter). He died in Ulcinj, Montenegro.
Something which rather neatly brings up both EU expansion into the Western Balkans. Along with both of the key irregular migration routes. Across the Mediterranean and the Balkans.
Sabbatai Zevi declared himself the Messiah in 1666. This is a very important period in British history. Including both the English Civil Wars, the Orange invasion of Ireland - which really started The Troubles in Northern Ireland - and the Glorious Revolution.
It was this period which really sort of saw the birth of modern Britain. Including the passing of key pieces of legislation which are still in use across the UK Commonwealth to this day. Including the Act of Settlement of 1700 and the Bill of Rights of 1689.
Legislation we've all become very familiar with as part of the Brexit debate. Although we've since learnt that the UK Supreme Court really needs to brush up on the latter.
Here I don't think the hosts were trying to make any particular point. They were just laying it all out on the table. So it was there in case anybody wanted it.
1666 was also the year of the Great Fire of London. Which, despite what the UK Labour Party may claim, did not occur at the Grenfell Tower in 2017.
Here a point was definitely being made.
That cladding was added to Grenfell Tower to comply with the UK's obligations under the Kyoto Protocol. So as soon as it happened every signatory to the UN Framework Convention on Climate Change (UNFCCC) investigated.
As with Climate Change itself a consensus was reached. With just one really strange outlier.
Even that very strange outlier was forced into a hurried confession. By that mountain being moved in New Zealand during the recent COP25 Summit.
At around 16:40 on 25/12/19 (UK date) remember. This is still only day four.
Edited at around 16:25 on 26/12/19 (UK date) to copy & paste;
The concept of a Messiah is particularly important within the Jewish discipline of Kabbalah. As with all articles of faith this is a real challenge to explain rationally.
Basically though Jews, Christians and Muslims all believe that God created the universe.
Christians and Muslims though believe that God is somehow separate from the universe. As if it were some sort of model railway he'd built in Heaven's basement which he checks in on occasionally.
Jews though believe that God created the universe from himself. So God and the universe are one and the same thing.
Very much as if the universe were God and his body there is God's head. The "God Head." This is the great unknowable which can never be seen nor understood. So don't even bother with a discussion about whether God is male or female.
Then there is the nervous system. Sometimes referred to as the; "Tree of Life." This is made up of 10 nodes connected by 22 lines. These essential powers need to be kept in balance with each other.
The concept of the Tree of Life within Kabbalah is really not that different from the Asian Animist concept of the Wu Xing. The five essential elements of the universe. Or as men of science, with their perfect rules of measure have tried to describe it; "The Quantum Field."
Kabbalah is based around the idea that the God Head occasionally sends messages along the nervous system to guide humans.
So imagine there'd been this big fire in Britain's capital, London. Which had killed 71 people.
193 separate law enforcement agencies had conducted their own investigations. Independently reaching the consensus that it was an arson attack. Yet there was one sole outlier, claiming it was an accident.
That's the sort of thing that may well prompt the God Head to send a little message shooting through the nervous system. To give the outlier a nasty jolt.
I think one of the most famous example of one of these little messages is the Biblical story of The Binding of Isaac. Celebrated by Muslims as The Feast of Sacrifice/Eid al-Adha.
God instructed Abraham to sacrifice his son Issac as a gesture of faith. The moment that Abraham demonstrated his faith by moving to kill Isaac God sent a goat to suddenly appear in the bushes. Meaning that Isaac was saved and they could feast on the goat instead.
Another very famous example being the Burning Bush from Exodus. Moses saw God in a bush that was on fire but not being burnt by it. This was God's message that Moses was the Messiah, temporary leader of the Jews.
Kabbalah teaches that God also provided these ancient texts to help interpret these messages through the nervous system. You have to read and re-read these texts to find the levels and nuances of meaning within them.
So for example Leviticus may say that; "If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination."
Yet the Tree of Life keeps making these gay people pop up out of nowhere. So is that God instructing you to question his authority or the way that Moses interpreted the message?
Christians of course will argue that gay people are being created by the Devil to test them. Jews though don't have a concept of the Devil. With God being the universe then all that exists within the universe is also God.
The closest Jews have to a concept of the Devil is the Blind Angel, Samael. Even he is considered to be Gods servant. His venom. The red right hand wielded whenever blind justice must be administered.
Over Christmas my beloved London Mayor Sadiq Khan showed his charity by allowing homeless people to stay in City Hall. Where he treated them to free eye tests. In a clear, pointed jab at my damn eyes.
As usual it seems to have gone completely over his head.
So no, Sadiq Khan isn't a Muslim. Sadiq Khan is a Grade: A, Muppet.
The term "Kabbalah" literally translates from Hebrew as; "The Conversation." The constant conversation between humans and God.
However I have it on good authority that it more accurately translates as; "The Argument." After all most things in Israeli tend to translate as; "The Argument."
Kabbalah is a practice that is supposed to be regularly undertaken by all Jews. On the Sabbath, between the two sunsets. However the term has been rather appropriated by some weird California cult.
You know, the batsh*t crazy stuff half-time performer Madonna's involved in.
All this talk of the Tree of Life is of course intended to remind you;
Back in November 2018 US Democrats were once again running for re-election. So there was a mass-shooting at the Tree of Life Synagogue in Pennsylvania.
After all mass murder is just how US Democrats show that they care. By making you so afraid you start thinking that only they can protect you.
In the aftermath of that shooting an Israeli Rabbi declared that the Tree of Life Synagogue was not a Synagogue at all.
That was the result of a really niche Kabbalah argument. Not just between God and humans but between two sets of humans over the result of the argument with God.
As the old joke goes; "Every town must have at least two Jewish Temples. So everyone can hold a grudge."
References to the Tree of Life also bring in the US TV Show; "Blindspot."
The first season, being the first full season I ever streamed online features a character with a pseudo-Christian, artistic Tree of Life tattoo on his forearm. An actual drawing of the Tree of Life looks more like a flowchart or a telephone tree.
That Blindspot tattoo is particularly relevant clue to the Skripal, Novichok poisoning in, what is almost my native, Salisbury, UK. As in;
"Remember. You did this to yourself."
So Russia now has four free passes in the UK.
The UK has spent the last 7-10 days on its knees. Begging Russia not to waste them.
At around 16:35 on 26/12/19 (UK date) remember. This is only day five.
Edited at around 17:00 on 27/12/19 (UK date) to copy & paste;
The video in support of Israel's entry begins with Kobi Marimi being surrounded by these tall concrete pillars. Standing like tomb stones or a cenotaph they cast a long shadow.
This motif of the darkness of the past continues throughout the black and white video.
This is a reference to Armenia's 2018 Song Contest entry; "Qami" by Sevak Khanagyan. Which also featured him cast in shadow by large concrete walls.
Armenia's 2018 Song Contest entry was a direct reference to Armenia's 2015 Song Contest entry. "Face the Shadow" by Genealogy. On the 100th anniversary this was a full throated plea for the 1915 Armenian Genocide by, what is now Turkey, to finally be recognised.
Israel made this reference to express its full support for the recognition of the 1915 Armenian Genocide.
"Genocide" and "Holocaust" are obviously huge words within Israel. Not ones you throw about lightly.
Unless of course they're telling you that old joke;
"Q. Why are there no ugly Israeli women?"
"A. Because Hitler did the Jews one favour."
An hilarious riff on; "The Joy Division." The process in which Nazi officers divided up young, attractive Jewish woman from old, ugly Jewish women.
The old and ugly Jewish were sent to gas chambers and furnaces.
The young, attractive Jewish were kept as sex slaves by the Nazi officers. Meaning they survived and were able to have attractive children and grandchildren of their own.
As you may have guessed by now. In Hebrew there is no word which describes the concept of; "Too Far."
Although the band; "Joy Division" really doesn't get much airplay in Israel.
Aside from recognising the 1915 Armenian Genocide this was Israel dropping a massive hammer blow on Ukraine.
On the 100th anniversary of the Genocide Armenia enjoyed a lot of love and support at the 2015 Song Contest. Meaning they were given a lot of leeway with the rules.
They were though forced to rename their entry; "Face The Shadow." The original title; "Don't Deny" was deemed to be too overtly political. Breaking really the Song Contest's one golden rule.
Then suddenly in 2016 Ukraine are allowed to win with the blatantly political entry; "1944." Apparently Nazi occupied Ukraine just doesn't have to follow the rules we're all bound by.
As for Ukraine. They made a big show of their anti-Russian psychosis. Then didn't even bother turn up this year. They know how deeply unpopular their US-imposed Nazi regime is across Europe and much of the World.
Entries for the 2019 Song Contest of course had to be made before Ukraine's March 2019 election. Which saw Volodmyr Zelensky elected President. I think it was that election which really counted as Ukraine's 2019 Song Contest entry.
Normally I wouldn't comment on the fact that Volodmyr Zelensky is Jewish. However he is the Jewish President of a country which still has large, powerful and heavily armed Nazi militias.
So I think it's something we all need to be mindful of. Particularly when releasing the transcripts of telephone calls he's had with other World leaders.
According to his biography Kobi Marimi had struggled for many years to find success as an actor. Apparently what changed for him is that he lost some 47kg (100lbs) in weight.
This was a reference to Netta Barzilai. The woman responsible for bringing the Eurovision Song Contest to Israel.
The 2018 Song Contest was a rather subdued affair. It was really an argument over why everybody had been so stupid as to go to Ukraine in 2017.
Things were different for Israel though.
In December 2017 US President Trump effectively recognised Jerusalem as Israel's capital. Apparently without bothering to consult any Israelis first.
So Israel knew that at the 2018 Song Contest they had to go big.
And they did, literally. In the larger form of Netta. Which promoted all sorts of talking points about the ways in which women's bodies are treated in the entertainment industry.
I really think that Israel were hoping that they'd finish second. Being denied victory by the backlash against Trump's Jerusalem move.
After all with now three General Elections in a year I don't think even actual Holocaust survivors can see the funny side anymore.
It almost goes without saying that no nation wants to go through the hassle of hosting the Song Contest two years in a row.
In 1960 The Netherlands actually refused to host it having won twice in three years. So it was held in the UK instead.
As such something of a tradition has emerged.
The hosts automatically go through to the Grand Finale. Yet they produce the blandest entry of that year's competition.
This was genuinely Israel's attempt at that.
Israel really are to the Eurovision Song Contest as Brazil are to Football. Or New Zealand is to Rugby Union.
I mean you're grateful you don't have to play them.
But it is really frustrating to see them get knocked out at the group-stage.
For no other reason than just mindless anti-Semitism.
17:05 on 27/12/19 (UK date).
Following the Song Contest Israel's government collapsed.
This was caused by Netanyahu's Likud Party's inability to resolve a dispute between the United Right coalition and another of its coalition partners. The Yisrael Beiteinu or "Israel Our Home" Party led by Avigdor Lieberman.
Like Jewish Home and the other members of the United Right coalition Yisrael Beiteinu is a Zionist party. That means it is committed to the expansion of Israel as a Jewish state.
However, unlike the United Right coalition Yisrael Beiteinu is a secular party rather than an Orthodox Jewish one. Meaning that it wishes to create a secular nation. Rather than one based on Jewish religious law.
Also since the Song Contest my coverage has been deemed to be not anti-Semitic enough. Resulting in me being blocked from Twitter. Really preventing me from having contact with any Israelis. Jewish or otherwise.
Which is particularly frustrating at the moment. I could certainly do with some feedback as I drop bombs across the entire region.
However my limited understanding is that the dispute between the United Right and Yisrael Beiteinu is twofold;
Firstly there is the issue of compulsory military service. Yisrael Beiteinu believe this should apply to all Israeli citizens. The United Right coalition believe that members of the Ultra Orthodox community should be exempt. The same Ultra Orthodox community they represent.
The other major cause of friction is over Israel's practise of paying Ultra Orthodox men a monthly stipend to study the Talmud rather than work. The Ultra Orthodox United Right are very keen on this. While Yisrael Beiteinu and the, roughly, 90% of Israel's Jews who are not Ultra Orthodox are very opposed to it.
In its 2019 Song Contest entry Britain raised the issue of automation in the workplace. Along with how, in the future, it may led to nations paying their citizens a Universal Basic Income. Essentially paying people not to work because all the work is being done by machines.
It shows how even the Israeli far-right is still pretty left-of-centre. Israel has been providing a Universal Basic Income for decades. Provided you're an Ultra Orthodox Jew. And a man.
At the September 2019 election Avigdor Lieberman's gamble did seem to pay off. Wrapping himself in the secular afterglow of the Eurovision Song Contest Yisrael Beiteinu increased their number of seats by 3 to 8.
However it did not pay off enough. Yisrael Beiteinu failed to win enough seats to exclude United Right and form a coalition with just Likud.
Yisrael Beiteinu also did not win enough seats to exclude Likud and form a coalition with the Blue & White coalition. Which won exactly the same number of seats as Likud.
Truly anything is always possible in Israeli politics. However the chances of Blue & White and United Right forming a coalition were always going to be extremely slim.
So once again Israel has failed to form a government. Meaning it gets to experience a third General Election in March 2020.
In his physical appearance Kobi Marimi closely resembles Freddie Mercury, lead singer of legendary rock band "Queen."
That allows you to bring into conversation all of Queen and Freddie Mercury's body of work. Particularly the song; "The Great Pretender." The theme song of former US President Obama's ill-fated Paris Agreement.
There has been a recent resurgence in interest in the work of both Freddie Mercury and Queen due to the 2018 biopic; "Bohemian Rhapsody." This saw Freddie Mercury being played by the Egyptian-American actor Rami Malik.
The reference to Rami Malik allows you to bring in the relationship between Israel and its neighbour Egypt. Both past, present and future. Significant given the Eurovision Song Contest's role in securing the 1978 Camp David Accords.
It also allows me to mention the Egyptian media's coverage of Malik winning the 2019 Best Actor Oscar for the Freddie Mercury role. The Ahram news agency basically ran the headline;
"RAMI MALIK WINS OSCAR! OTHERS ALSO PRESENT."
Which I thought was hilarious. It certainly showed a lot more self-awareness than the British media's coverage of Olivia Coleman winning the Best Actress Oscar.Which didn't even acknowledge that others were present.
At around 18:20 on 23/12/19 (UK date) think you all know how this goes now. It drags on for 8 nights and each one's slightly crappier than the last.
Edited at around 17:00 on 24/12/19 (UK date) to add;
Rami Malik's big break-through role came in the 2015 show; "Mr Robot." I hesitate to describe it as a TV Show. It was one of the first productions made exclusively for the Amazon Prime online streaming service.
Also featuring in Mr Robot was the American actress Frankie Shaw. She has since gone on to write, produce and star in the show; "S.M.I.L.F" for the US broadcast network Showtime.
Along with "The Orville" and "Blindspot" S.M.I.L.F was one of the very first shows I ever streamed online.
I didn't mention it at the time because I really don't want to getting into the situation of filing an incident report on every TV show I happen to stream.
Also S.M.I.L.F is one of those character driven shows which isn't really about anything in particular. It's essentially the diary of a poor single mother raising her child in Boston, Massachusetts, US.
I enjoyed it though. But then I am the sort of person who can find the humour in a woman masturbating to fantasies about being sexually assaulted by Harvey Weinstein. Only to remember she's got Fiery Hot Cheetos dust on her fingers.
Hers is certainly not the sort of voice you see every day on mainstream US TV.
Since the Song Contest I've been able to watch the second season of S.M.I.L.F. The fact that I didn't mention that is was one of the first shows I streamed online seems to have caused anxiety on set.
For example in the second season characters frequently make a big display of drinking bottles of Guinness. As if it were an unpopular product placement deal they'd had foisted upon them.
The episode titles also seem very similar to the episode titles used in Blindspot. Which read like cryptic crossword clues.
The anxiety seems to have gotten so bad that S.M.I.L.F was forced to draft in support from an awkwardly acronymed emotional support animal. One who continues to be married to the character "Baby" from the 1987 movie "Dirty Dancing."
The anxiety probably doesn't help that one of the main stars of the show is Rosie O'Donnell. That very fat lesbian who absolutely promised that she would leave the US if Donald Trump was ever elected President.
So it must be a bit of a headache for her. Having one of Trump's key advisers loving her work and agreeing with her on pretty much everything else.
I suppose you could turn Frankie Shaw's performance anxiety into a discussion about the challenges women face in breaking into the TV and movie industry.
Taking a TV show or movie you've been working on for years and showing it to millions of people is obviously quite a nerve wracking experience. Particularly if you've got backers to invest millions of dollars in the project on the promise people will like it.
Generally speaking men tend to be quite hard headed and confident of their own abilities. While women tend to be more neurotic and unsure of themselves.
I can't help but wonder whether that, rather than discrimination, is what prevents women from leading more TV and movie productions.
A prime example of this would be; "The Mindy Project." A US sitcom which ran from 2012 to 2017. Created and staring Mindy Kaling.
Watching the show it was pretty clear that Mindy Kaling would listen to all the feedback to her project. Taking any criticism on board and constantly making changes in an effort to keep everyone happy.
So, for example, people complained that it didn't feature enough non-white characters. Despite Mindy Kaling herself being of Indian heritage. Almost instantly the show dropped a white practice nurse character replacing her with a black character.
Then people complained they missed the white practice nurse. Leading to the show to bring back the character. Dropping the black character but introducing a new black character to compensate.
I can't say that I watched the show regularly. However in every episode I did watch it seemed the cast and plot had changed completely from the last episode I'd watched.
That made it seem like really hard work and eventually I gave up. It seems that quite a lot of people agreed with me on this and the show was cancelled in 2015. Only to be rescued by the streaming service Hulu.
I can't help but feel that a man would have ignored the criticism and just ploughed ahead with their artistic vision regardless.
Prior to appearing in the Song Contest Kobi Marimi was probably most well known for playing the role of; "Natan, Rabbi of Gaza" in the opera; "Messiah Now."
This dealt with the concept of the Jewish Messiah and an offshoot of Judaism known as Messianic Judaism.
Probably one of the most famous Messianic Jewish sects is Christianity.
Christians believe that Jesus Christ, a Jew from Bethlehem in modern day Israel is the Messiah.
However Christians also believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God. This is where they diverge from traditional Judaism.
In the Jewish tradition "Messiah" means simply "King" or "Leader." A mortal being anointed by God. "Messiah" literally translates as; "Anointed."
Rather like how Roman Catholics believe the Pope is anointed by God to lead them. Or how Church of England Protestants believe God has anointed Queen Elizabeth II and her bloodline to lead them.
Christians believe that Jesus Christ is not just anointed by God but God himself. God made flesh and blood here on Earth. This is heretical to Jews who believe that God can never be known, let alone seen. He certainly can't take on human form.
It is this heresy which led the Jews to demand that the Romans executed Jesus Christ.
Or as the 1979 movie; "Monty Python's Life of Brian" put it;
"He's not the Messiah. He's just a very naughty boy."
Aside from explaining one of the main ideological differences between Judaism and Christianity this also seemed to be a bit of a joke at my expense.
One of my most famous distinguishing features are full thickness scars on the palms of my hands. The result of third degree thermic burns.
What is curious is that these scars have formed in the shape of Stigmata. The supposed marks in the hands and feet of Jesus Christ where the Romans nailed him to the cross. At the Jews insistence.
Me, being the guy named Sovereign with stigmata on his hands, can freak Christians out a bit. Particularly now I seem to have added a Magdalene prostitute to the roster.
The only way I can make it worse is by pointing out that I chose neither the name nor the scars. They chose me.
My apparent anointment is also quite significant to Shia Muslims.
All Muslims believe that God has sent a series of Prophets to Earth to act as guides for humans. Jesus Christ was one such Prophet. With Muhammad being the most recent, famous and important.
Sunni Muslims believe that the Prophet Muhammad is the last Prophet that God will send to Earth. Shia Muslims believe that God will send one final Prophet.
Officially the Shia Islamic Republic of Iran is built around preparation for the arrival of this final Prophet.
Some within Iran have suggested that I am that final Prophet. Apparently now I've been blocked by Twitter they're just writing messages on paper and chucking them down a well. In the hope they'll reach me eventually.
I suspect though they might be attempting to wind people up.
But, as the old joke goes;
"My hands. They certainly open a lot of doors in that part of the World."
At around 17:10 on 24/12/19 (UK date) you know there is more to come.
Edited at around 16:30 on 25/12/19 (UK date) to copy & paste;
Over the years there have been many who have claimed to be the King of the Jews. With varying degrees of success.
However the musical "Messiah Now!" deals specifically with Sabbatai Zevi. Who was reasonably successful in claiming to be the Messiah in the 17th Century.
Sabbatai Zevi was born in Izmir, Turkey. At the time this was the Ottoman Empire. So it was easy for Sabbatai Zevi to travel to Egypt and then onto Gaza, Palestine. However he was prevented from entering Jerusalem.
So I think it's really best I stop explaining those funny road markings there. After all we've all read Hamas' new charter. And we all remember the attacks in Christchurch, New Zealand.
Sabbatai Zevi was eventually forced to convert to Islam by Turkish Emperor Mehmed IV (the Hunter). He died in Ulcinj, Montenegro.
Something which rather neatly brings up both EU expansion into the Western Balkans. Along with both of the key irregular migration routes. Across the Mediterranean and the Balkans.
Sabbatai Zevi declared himself the Messiah in 1666. This is a very important period in British history. Including both the English Civil Wars, the Orange invasion of Ireland - which really started The Troubles in Northern Ireland - and the Glorious Revolution.
It was this period which really sort of saw the birth of modern Britain. Including the passing of key pieces of legislation which are still in use across the UK Commonwealth to this day. Including the Act of Settlement of 1700 and the Bill of Rights of 1689.
Legislation we've all become very familiar with as part of the Brexit debate. Although we've since learnt that the UK Supreme Court really needs to brush up on the latter.
Here I don't think the hosts were trying to make any particular point. They were just laying it all out on the table. So it was there in case anybody wanted it.
1666 was also the year of the Great Fire of London. Which, despite what the UK Labour Party may claim, did not occur at the Grenfell Tower in 2017.
Here a point was definitely being made.
That cladding was added to Grenfell Tower to comply with the UK's obligations under the Kyoto Protocol. So as soon as it happened every signatory to the UN Framework Convention on Climate Change (UNFCCC) investigated.
As with Climate Change itself a consensus was reached. With just one really strange outlier.
Even that very strange outlier was forced into a hurried confession. By that mountain being moved in New Zealand during the recent COP25 Summit.
At around 16:40 on 25/12/19 (UK date) remember. This is still only day four.
Edited at around 16:25 on 26/12/19 (UK date) to copy & paste;
The concept of a Messiah is particularly important within the Jewish discipline of Kabbalah. As with all articles of faith this is a real challenge to explain rationally.
Basically though Jews, Christians and Muslims all believe that God created the universe.
Christians and Muslims though believe that God is somehow separate from the universe. As if it were some sort of model railway he'd built in Heaven's basement which he checks in on occasionally.
Jews though believe that God created the universe from himself. So God and the universe are one and the same thing.
Very much as if the universe were God and his body there is God's head. The "God Head." This is the great unknowable which can never be seen nor understood. So don't even bother with a discussion about whether God is male or female.
Then there is the nervous system. Sometimes referred to as the; "Tree of Life." This is made up of 10 nodes connected by 22 lines. These essential powers need to be kept in balance with each other.
The concept of the Tree of Life within Kabbalah is really not that different from the Asian Animist concept of the Wu Xing. The five essential elements of the universe. Or as men of science, with their perfect rules of measure have tried to describe it; "The Quantum Field."
Kabbalah is based around the idea that the God Head occasionally sends messages along the nervous system to guide humans.
So imagine there'd been this big fire in Britain's capital, London. Which had killed 71 people.
193 separate law enforcement agencies had conducted their own investigations. Independently reaching the consensus that it was an arson attack. Yet there was one sole outlier, claiming it was an accident.
That's the sort of thing that may well prompt the God Head to send a little message shooting through the nervous system. To give the outlier a nasty jolt.
I think one of the most famous example of one of these little messages is the Biblical story of The Binding of Isaac. Celebrated by Muslims as The Feast of Sacrifice/Eid al-Adha.
God instructed Abraham to sacrifice his son Issac as a gesture of faith. The moment that Abraham demonstrated his faith by moving to kill Isaac God sent a goat to suddenly appear in the bushes. Meaning that Isaac was saved and they could feast on the goat instead.
Another very famous example being the Burning Bush from Exodus. Moses saw God in a bush that was on fire but not being burnt by it. This was God's message that Moses was the Messiah, temporary leader of the Jews.
Kabbalah teaches that God also provided these ancient texts to help interpret these messages through the nervous system. You have to read and re-read these texts to find the levels and nuances of meaning within them.
So for example Leviticus may say that; "If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination."
Yet the Tree of Life keeps making these gay people pop up out of nowhere. So is that God instructing you to question his authority or the way that Moses interpreted the message?
Christians of course will argue that gay people are being created by the Devil to test them. Jews though don't have a concept of the Devil. With God being the universe then all that exists within the universe is also God.
The closest Jews have to a concept of the Devil is the Blind Angel, Samael. Even he is considered to be Gods servant. His venom. The red right hand wielded whenever blind justice must be administered.
Over Christmas my beloved London Mayor Sadiq Khan showed his charity by allowing homeless people to stay in City Hall. Where he treated them to free eye tests. In a clear, pointed jab at my damn eyes.
As usual it seems to have gone completely over his head.
So no, Sadiq Khan isn't a Muslim. Sadiq Khan is a Grade: A, Muppet.
The term "Kabbalah" literally translates from Hebrew as; "The Conversation." The constant conversation between humans and God.
However I have it on good authority that it more accurately translates as; "The Argument." After all most things in Israeli tend to translate as; "The Argument."
Kabbalah is a practice that is supposed to be regularly undertaken by all Jews. On the Sabbath, between the two sunsets. However the term has been rather appropriated by some weird California cult.
You know, the batsh*t crazy stuff half-time performer Madonna's involved in.
All this talk of the Tree of Life is of course intended to remind you;
Back in November 2018 US Democrats were once again running for re-election. So there was a mass-shooting at the Tree of Life Synagogue in Pennsylvania.
After all mass murder is just how US Democrats show that they care. By making you so afraid you start thinking that only they can protect you.
In the aftermath of that shooting an Israeli Rabbi declared that the Tree of Life Synagogue was not a Synagogue at all.
That was the result of a really niche Kabbalah argument. Not just between God and humans but between two sets of humans over the result of the argument with God.
As the old joke goes; "Every town must have at least two Jewish Temples. So everyone can hold a grudge."
References to the Tree of Life also bring in the US TV Show; "Blindspot."
The first season, being the first full season I ever streamed online features a character with a pseudo-Christian, artistic Tree of Life tattoo on his forearm. An actual drawing of the Tree of Life looks more like a flowchart or a telephone tree.
That Blindspot tattoo is particularly relevant clue to the Skripal, Novichok poisoning in, what is almost my native, Salisbury, UK. As in;
"Remember. You did this to yourself."
So Russia now has four free passes in the UK.
The UK has spent the last 7-10 days on its knees. Begging Russia not to waste them.
At around 16:35 on 26/12/19 (UK date) remember. This is only day five.
Edited at around 17:00 on 27/12/19 (UK date) to copy & paste;
The video in support of Israel's entry begins with Kobi Marimi being surrounded by these tall concrete pillars. Standing like tomb stones or a cenotaph they cast a long shadow.
This motif of the darkness of the past continues throughout the black and white video.
This is a reference to Armenia's 2018 Song Contest entry; "Qami" by Sevak Khanagyan. Which also featured him cast in shadow by large concrete walls.
Armenia's 2018 Song Contest entry was a direct reference to Armenia's 2015 Song Contest entry. "Face the Shadow" by Genealogy. On the 100th anniversary this was a full throated plea for the 1915 Armenian Genocide by, what is now Turkey, to finally be recognised.
Israel made this reference to express its full support for the recognition of the 1915 Armenian Genocide.
"Genocide" and "Holocaust" are obviously huge words within Israel. Not ones you throw about lightly.
Unless of course they're telling you that old joke;
"Q. Why are there no ugly Israeli women?"
"A. Because Hitler did the Jews one favour."
An hilarious riff on; "The Joy Division." The process in which Nazi officers divided up young, attractive Jewish woman from old, ugly Jewish women.
The old and ugly Jewish were sent to gas chambers and furnaces.
The young, attractive Jewish were kept as sex slaves by the Nazi officers. Meaning they survived and were able to have attractive children and grandchildren of their own.
As you may have guessed by now. In Hebrew there is no word which describes the concept of; "Too Far."
Although the band; "Joy Division" really doesn't get much airplay in Israel.
Aside from recognising the 1915 Armenian Genocide this was Israel dropping a massive hammer blow on Ukraine.
On the 100th anniversary of the Genocide Armenia enjoyed a lot of love and support at the 2015 Song Contest. Meaning they were given a lot of leeway with the rules.
They were though forced to rename their entry; "Face The Shadow." The original title; "Don't Deny" was deemed to be too overtly political. Breaking really the Song Contest's one golden rule.
Then suddenly in 2016 Ukraine are allowed to win with the blatantly political entry; "1944." Apparently Nazi occupied Ukraine just doesn't have to follow the rules we're all bound by.
As for Ukraine. They made a big show of their anti-Russian psychosis. Then didn't even bother turn up this year. They know how deeply unpopular their US-imposed Nazi regime is across Europe and much of the World.
Entries for the 2019 Song Contest of course had to be made before Ukraine's March 2019 election. Which saw Volodmyr Zelensky elected President. I think it was that election which really counted as Ukraine's 2019 Song Contest entry.
Normally I wouldn't comment on the fact that Volodmyr Zelensky is Jewish. However he is the Jewish President of a country which still has large, powerful and heavily armed Nazi militias.
So I think it's something we all need to be mindful of. Particularly when releasing the transcripts of telephone calls he's had with other World leaders.
According to his biography Kobi Marimi had struggled for many years to find success as an actor. Apparently what changed for him is that he lost some 47kg (100lbs) in weight.
This was a reference to Netta Barzilai. The woman responsible for bringing the Eurovision Song Contest to Israel.
The 2018 Song Contest was a rather subdued affair. It was really an argument over why everybody had been so stupid as to go to Ukraine in 2017.
Things were different for Israel though.
In December 2017 US President Trump effectively recognised Jerusalem as Israel's capital. Apparently without bothering to consult any Israelis first.
So Israel knew that at the 2018 Song Contest they had to go big.
And they did, literally. In the larger form of Netta. Which promoted all sorts of talking points about the ways in which women's bodies are treated in the entertainment industry.
I really think that Israel were hoping that they'd finish second. Being denied victory by the backlash against Trump's Jerusalem move.
After all with now three General Elections in a year I don't think even actual Holocaust survivors can see the funny side anymore.
It almost goes without saying that no nation wants to go through the hassle of hosting the Song Contest two years in a row.
In 1960 The Netherlands actually refused to host it having won twice in three years. So it was held in the UK instead.
As such something of a tradition has emerged.
The hosts automatically go through to the Grand Finale. Yet they produce the blandest entry of that year's competition.
This was genuinely Israel's attempt at that.
Israel really are to the Eurovision Song Contest as Brazil are to Football. Or New Zealand is to Rugby Union.
I mean you're grateful you don't have to play them.
But it is really frustrating to see them get knocked out at the group-stage.
For no other reason than just mindless anti-Semitism.
17:05 on 27/12/19 (UK date).
Sunday 22 December 2019
In At The Deep End.
In the summer of 2016 US Democrats were running for re-election. So
obviously there was a mass shooting. At the Pulse Nightclub in Florida.
Apparently mass murder is just how Democrats show that they care. Making you so afraid you start thinking they're the only ones who can protect you.
The Pulse Nightclub attack put me in a somewhat difficult position. I like to think that, particularly since 2014, I have been a strong ally of the majority of the Muslim world.
However I know that there is this small minority of the Muslim world. The type of Pillbox you find protesting outside schools in Birmingham. Within this minority there are two topics you never dare bring up; Homosexuality and the Jews.
So it made a lot of people uncomfortable. Me explaining how I used to hang around in a gay bar. For the entirely heterosexual reason that my bisexual girlfriend worked there and our work schedules sometimes clashed.
I should point out though that this wasn't some creepy porno thing. In fact; "Swingers" is considered a serious term of abuse. It was just three people curled up on the sofa on a hungover Saturday afternoon. Or just hanging out in a restaurant over dinner.
I said at the time that wasn't the weirdest thing I've done. I've actually got a far weirder version of pretty much that same story. One that will really offend a lot of people.
You see that wasn't even my first bisexual girlfriend. My first bisexual girlfriend was Jewish. Not just that but an Israeli Jew. She claimed that she really hated her Trans father. But this was a few years after Dana International. And she really didn't want to do her national service.
So if John Bolton thinks I'm member of Hamas. Wait until he learns about the several months I spent in the Israeli Defence Forces. Or at least in something that really should have been in the Israeli Defence Forces.
In that short but wonderful summer car crash of a relationship there was another man. Saeed Hotari, a Palestinian Muslim.
On June 1st 2001 (1/6/01) Hotari walked into the Dolphinarium Nightclub in Tel Aviv. Blowing himself up along with 121 other people.
Now this was in the days before the Internet really came into widespread existence. So all we got was a short flash on a car radio. Followed by an agonisingly long wait.
Eventually we received a landline call. Informing us that thankfully her sister was still an absolute stoner. So had forgotten to go to the club that night. Well, she turned up about 15 minutes late.
So no, I never met this girl's family. On account of the long and expensive flight. Along with some very complex customs check which probably wouldn't have resulted in her seeing her family for the next two to three years.
I have though certainly seen Banksy's "Apartheid Wall" from both sides.
The girl and I really parted ways in the autumn as I moved down south. But we met up again the following spring.
In the Soho area of London. Where we posed for what became the recruitment poster for the protests against the 2003 invasion of Iraq. Just across the baton charge from what was to become Kay Perry's future ex-husband.
After that we did finally lose touch. As I moved onto another bisexual girlfriend - yes there was overlap - and she stopped returning my calls. Something of a habit of hers apparently.
Of course in March 2003 Iraq was invaded and those recruitment posters were suddenly everywhere.
In June 2003 two British Muslims - Asif Hanif and Omar Sharif - flew into Jordan. From there they snuck into the Palestinian West Bank. From there they snuck into Israel. Blowing themselves up in the Mike's Place bar in Tel Aviv. Along with 53 other people.
Although I didn't really know it at the time I was born into this world of terror and violence. To the point that a sword attack on a Church actually constituted a marked improvement.
So I can't help but wonder if Hanif and Sharif was sent to Israel as punishment. For all the fun we'd been having. Behaving in ways that deeply offends even the oh so tolerant and accepting gay community.
So if you think the lot around here are scary. You should really watch the movie; "Munich."
Of course in November 2003 then US President George W Bush visited Britain. We'd heard from afar that this was the moment then UK Prime Minister Tony Blair was really going to Cash in. Finally winning an argument and raising all the dead.
Apparently I'm the only reason he didn't.
By September 2004 I really I thought I'd finally escaped, reaching a new world. But then the Beslan Massacre happened. Which forced me up out of my chair and dragged me back in.
It was certainly curious that. Old Tony knowing that the Beslan Massacre was going to happen. Far enough in advance to plan my suicide around it.
Then, of course, in June 2005 there was that whole Live 8 thing. Where some played songs. Others pulled triggers.
So you can say what you like about Benjamin Netanyahu. I've certainly seen him do a bit over the years.
As for the girl. I did once find myself walking through an area of London which drug addicted prostitutes are known to frequent.
There I clamped eyes on one that seemed to look just like her. She seemed to recognise me and turned away. So I walked on, barely even able to carry myself at that point. When I left we were both still standing. I really don't think I could say that if I've stayed.
So I'd like to tell you the story has a happy ending. I'd even like to tell you the story has a tragic ending. The sad fact of the matter is that I still have absolutely no idea how the story ended. I can only hope that it hasn't.
Which is annoying. Although it wasn't a dedication she was the one holding my hand as I had a Ulbster Cross tattooed on my back.
You know. The sort of thing that follows you around, wherever you go.
So if you want to know what really offends me about all the virtue signallers it's this;
I know that these are real people. With real, often fragile lives. They're not just cards you play to win arguments over expensive dining tables.
So once again I must apologise to Summer Glau. Someone really should've told me that there'd been this TV Show called; "Firefly."
15:00 on 22/12/19 (UK date).
Edited at around 21:00 on 22/12/19 (UK date) to add;
Oh, FTR. Her regular third was some Afro-Caribbean asylum-seeker.
Or as it's known down the rye way;
"A Local."
Apparently mass murder is just how Democrats show that they care. Making you so afraid you start thinking they're the only ones who can protect you.
The Pulse Nightclub attack put me in a somewhat difficult position. I like to think that, particularly since 2014, I have been a strong ally of the majority of the Muslim world.
However I know that there is this small minority of the Muslim world. The type of Pillbox you find protesting outside schools in Birmingham. Within this minority there are two topics you never dare bring up; Homosexuality and the Jews.
So it made a lot of people uncomfortable. Me explaining how I used to hang around in a gay bar. For the entirely heterosexual reason that my bisexual girlfriend worked there and our work schedules sometimes clashed.
I should point out though that this wasn't some creepy porno thing. In fact; "Swingers" is considered a serious term of abuse. It was just three people curled up on the sofa on a hungover Saturday afternoon. Or just hanging out in a restaurant over dinner.
I said at the time that wasn't the weirdest thing I've done. I've actually got a far weirder version of pretty much that same story. One that will really offend a lot of people.
You see that wasn't even my first bisexual girlfriend. My first bisexual girlfriend was Jewish. Not just that but an Israeli Jew. She claimed that she really hated her Trans father. But this was a few years after Dana International. And she really didn't want to do her national service.
So if John Bolton thinks I'm member of Hamas. Wait until he learns about the several months I spent in the Israeli Defence Forces. Or at least in something that really should have been in the Israeli Defence Forces.
In that short but wonderful summer car crash of a relationship there was another man. Saeed Hotari, a Palestinian Muslim.
On June 1st 2001 (1/6/01) Hotari walked into the Dolphinarium Nightclub in Tel Aviv. Blowing himself up along with 121 other people.
Now this was in the days before the Internet really came into widespread existence. So all we got was a short flash on a car radio. Followed by an agonisingly long wait.
Eventually we received a landline call. Informing us that thankfully her sister was still an absolute stoner. So had forgotten to go to the club that night. Well, she turned up about 15 minutes late.
So no, I never met this girl's family. On account of the long and expensive flight. Along with some very complex customs check which probably wouldn't have resulted in her seeing her family for the next two to three years.
I have though certainly seen Banksy's "Apartheid Wall" from both sides.
The girl and I really parted ways in the autumn as I moved down south. But we met up again the following spring.
In the Soho area of London. Where we posed for what became the recruitment poster for the protests against the 2003 invasion of Iraq. Just across the baton charge from what was to become Kay Perry's future ex-husband.
After that we did finally lose touch. As I moved onto another bisexual girlfriend - yes there was overlap - and she stopped returning my calls. Something of a habit of hers apparently.
Of course in March 2003 Iraq was invaded and those recruitment posters were suddenly everywhere.
In June 2003 two British Muslims - Asif Hanif and Omar Sharif - flew into Jordan. From there they snuck into the Palestinian West Bank. From there they snuck into Israel. Blowing themselves up in the Mike's Place bar in Tel Aviv. Along with 53 other people.
Although I didn't really know it at the time I was born into this world of terror and violence. To the point that a sword attack on a Church actually constituted a marked improvement.
So I can't help but wonder if Hanif and Sharif was sent to Israel as punishment. For all the fun we'd been having. Behaving in ways that deeply offends even the oh so tolerant and accepting gay community.
So if you think the lot around here are scary. You should really watch the movie; "Munich."
Of course in November 2003 then US President George W Bush visited Britain. We'd heard from afar that this was the moment then UK Prime Minister Tony Blair was really going to Cash in. Finally winning an argument and raising all the dead.
Apparently I'm the only reason he didn't.
By September 2004 I really I thought I'd finally escaped, reaching a new world. But then the Beslan Massacre happened. Which forced me up out of my chair and dragged me back in.
It was certainly curious that. Old Tony knowing that the Beslan Massacre was going to happen. Far enough in advance to plan my suicide around it.
Then, of course, in June 2005 there was that whole Live 8 thing. Where some played songs. Others pulled triggers.
So you can say what you like about Benjamin Netanyahu. I've certainly seen him do a bit over the years.
As for the girl. I did once find myself walking through an area of London which drug addicted prostitutes are known to frequent.
There I clamped eyes on one that seemed to look just like her. She seemed to recognise me and turned away. So I walked on, barely even able to carry myself at that point. When I left we were both still standing. I really don't think I could say that if I've stayed.
So I'd like to tell you the story has a happy ending. I'd even like to tell you the story has a tragic ending. The sad fact of the matter is that I still have absolutely no idea how the story ended. I can only hope that it hasn't.
Which is annoying. Although it wasn't a dedication she was the one holding my hand as I had a Ulbster Cross tattooed on my back.
You know. The sort of thing that follows you around, wherever you go.
So if you want to know what really offends me about all the virtue signallers it's this;
I know that these are real people. With real, often fragile lives. They're not just cards you play to win arguments over expensive dining tables.
So once again I must apologise to Summer Glau. Someone really should've told me that there'd been this TV Show called; "Firefly."
15:00 on 22/12/19 (UK date).
Edited at around 21:00 on 22/12/19 (UK date) to add;
Oh, FTR. Her regular third was some Afro-Caribbean asylum-seeker.
Or as it's known down the rye way;
"A Local."
Friday 13 December 2019
So, Shall We Have Another Referendum?
Yesterday (12/12/19) Britain held a General Election. It's second in as many years.
Like all things in British politics over the past two years this was dominated by one thing. Brexit, Britain's exit from the European Union (EU).
The Liberal Democrat Party (LibDem) positioned themselves as the party to block Brexit. They're so sweet they actually thought the slogan; "Bollocks to Brexit" counted as risque in British politics.
This strategy saw the LibDems do worse than they did at the 2017 election. Falling from 12 seats to 11. Even their leader Jo Swinson managed to lose her seat.
Swinson lost to the Scottish National Party (SNP). They too strongly opposed Brexit. But for a very different reason to the LibDems.
The SNP oppose Brexit because they've promised that if Britain leaves the EU then they will take Scotland out of Britain. That is a complete pie-in-the-sky dream. Unlike Spain's Catalonia region Scotland is Britain's poorest. It actually asked to join Britain after going bankrupt.
Seriously. Nationally there is a small, fringe Nazi party called the British National Party (BNP). They believe that everything will be wonderful once the proud British race throws off the shackles of its Zionist masters.
In Scotland there is a large, mainstream party called the Scottish National Party (SNP). They believe that everything will be wonderful once the proud Scottish race throws off the shackles of its English masters.
Which is completely different. Apparently.
Although to actual ANTIFA activists it's known as; "Peronist Facism." After the practices of Argentina's Juan Peron.
What the SNP were planning to do at this election was to prop-up a Labour Party led coalition government. Giving up the idea of a Scottish independence referendum is the price they were really hoping to pay to join that coalition and block Brexit.
That plan was partly successful for the SNP. They did a lot better than at the 2017 election. Growing from 35 seats to 48. Unfortunately the supposed hung Parliament and Labour's need for a coalition partner never materialised.
So the SNP are now stuck with 48 MP's. And a promise to take Scotland out of Britain.
As for the Labour Party. Since the morning after the 2017 election they have been utterly convinced that they are on the brink of power. So have spent those two years trying every trick in the book to bring down the government and force this election.
In doing that they somehow managed to forget to have a position on Brexit. They were punished for it by the voters.
Listening to Labour supporters last night you'd think they'd been massacred. The truth is though that they didn't do as badly as they probably should have done. Only losing 59 seats, falling from 262 to 203.
There were, I think, several things that limited the damage for Labour.
Firstly there is the deep unpopularity of the leader of the Conservative Party, Boris Johnson.
Boris Johnson is one of those people who is extremely popular amongst his extremely small group of friends. He arrogantly assumes that this translates as him being extremely popular with everyone.
It really doesn't. There are traditional Conservative voters who have a real problem liking Boris Johnson. Who they, I think rightly, see as an arrogant buffoon. And these are the people who voted for George Osborne. Who is clearly evil incarnate.
Secondly the Labour Party, particularly the Progressive London wing, now functions very much like a cult. People are inducted into the cult at an early age (school/university). The cult then controls all aspects of their lives. Funnily enough the cult really doesn't think it's members should vote against it.
Sadly the third reason is the anti-Semitism. Which Labour, particularly Ken Livingstone, have long identified as an electoral advantage for the Labour Party.
Particularly in London and large northern cities such as Leeds and Bradford Britain has a large Muslim population. Who can trace their roots back to Pakistan and Bangladesh. Many of them follow a very extreme form of Islam known as Deobandi Islam.
They are basically in Britain because they were kicked out of Muslim majority nations like Pakistan and Bangladesh. Where their views are considered far too extreme. They are viciously homophobic and viciously anti-Semitic. For reasons which have absolutely nothing to do with Israel.
So I'm not sure how helpful it was. Starting a rumour that Jews controlled the weather and made it rain to suppress turnout amongst Labour voters.
Although I should point out. As the guy named "King" with the scars on his hands in the shape of stigmata. Every time I appear to perform a miracle it counts as an anti-Semitic act. Particularly as I've managed to scratch my foot on something. So am now up to three.
The city of Belfast in Northern Ireland probably produced the most interesting talking point of the night.
In the North Belfast constituency the deputy leader of the Democratic Unionist Party (DUP) Nigel Dodd lost his seat to John Finucane. Of Sinn Fein.
This is massively significant.
The DUP are widely seen as the political wing of the Ulster Volunteer Force (UVF). A Protestant paramilitary group. Sinn Fein are widely seen as the political wing of the Provisional Irish Republican Army (PIRA). A Catholic paramilitary group.
Between 1969 and 1998 these various paramilitary groups fought a civil war in Northern Ireland. Known euphemistically as; "The Troubles." This was really a dispute over social housing that got massively out of hand.
Leading up to and throughout The Troubles Northern Ireland was a really poor place where nobody could afford to buy a home. So you had Catholics and Protestants deeply segregated each in their own social housing projects. Which we call; "Council Estates."
So even as recently as the 2017 election the DUP simply wouldn't bother campaigning in Sinn Fein areas and Sinn Fein simply wouldn't bother campaigning in DUP areas.
The Troubles were ended by the 1998 Belfast Agreement Peace Treaty. Which is commonly known as; "The Good Friday Agreement."
The big, overarching idea behind the Good Friday Agreement was to; "Use Prosperity as a Tool For Peace." Essentially as people get richer they'll lose interest in fighting each other over the sparse scraps.
This has actually been very successful. Particularly amongst the Protestant community. They've been moving out of the council estates into the suburbs in large numbers. As a result the Protestant estates are now falling into ruins.
As the joke goes; "The orange areas are turning green (with grass)." Although I think COP25 urban planners would describe them as; "Brownfield."
So the DUP have lost a seat because, once again, DUP supporters are getting richer faster than Sinn Fein supporters. Any mention of demographic change can be inflammatory in Northern Ireland. But I don't think DUP supporters will be that upset for long.
The big winners were Boris Johnson's Conservative Party. They gained 47 seats from 2017 giving them a total of 365. And a majority of 80. All on the slogan of; "Get Brexit Done."
So there is now the question of what Brexit will Boris do?
Back in October 2019 Prime Minister Johnson announced that he had secured a new Withdrawal Agreement from the EU.
This Withdrawal Agreement is exactly the same as the Withdrawal Agreement secured by his predecessor Theresa May. With just two small changes to the Protocol on Ireland/Northern Ireland. Known as; "The Backstop."
I'll attempt to do a more detailed version of this after dinner. Or possibly tomorrow.
However it is such a small change I did manage to provide the gist of it here;
https://twitterwithbraincells.blogspot.com/2019/12/i-see-amaq-are-still-on-twitter.html
At around 18:10 on 13/12/19 (UK date).
Edited at around 15:40 on 14/12/19 (UK date) to fiddle about upstairs and copy & paste from another tab;
The Backstop Protocol is itself only a very small part of the Withdrawal Agreement.
If all other parts of the Withdrawal Agreement fail then it is the fail-safe which kicks-in. To protect the Belfast Treaty. And all the New Millennium Homes it built.
It does this by placing Northern Ireland in a tailor-made Single Market with the EU. One which is remarkably similar to but fundamentally different from the EU Single Market.
Basically it allows Northern Ireland to enjoy all the benefits of being a member of the EU Single Market. Just with none of the negatives. Such as the large contributions to the EU budget and the Free Movement of Human Cargo.
At the same time the Backstop Protocol places the UK Mainland into a tailor-made Customs Union. One which is remarkably similar to but fundamentally different from the EU Customs Union.
The areas in which it differs are extremely technical. Things like the definition of imported goods in free circulation. Along with the design of the form that you will have to fill in when crossing a border and the customs checks undertaken.
It is that type of technical detail though that really adds costs to small and medium sized business. Those extra costs though do have a tendency to create new jobs. Particularly for data entry jerks like me.
What prompted the EU and Britain to bother creating a whole new Single Market and a whole new Customs Union was respect for Northern Irish Protestants. Who did not want to see a border between Northern Ireland and the UK mainland. "Regulatory Divergence" in the jargon.
Personally I always felt that stance created an awful lot of complex, technical problems. For extremely abstract, ideological reasons.
However we did the work anyway.
What Boris Johnson "New Deal" does is take the UK mainland out of the tailor-made Customs Union. Making it so much harder for business to import/export to the EU.
It also leaves Northern Ireland in the EU Customs Union. With all its negatives, except for budget contributions.
This will create a so-called "Hard Border" between Northern Ireland and the UK mainland. Regulatory Divergence at its most extreme.
However the Northern Ireland Assembly can, unilaterally scrap the Backstop Protocol. Without the consent of the EU.
All that needs to happen is that the DUP and Sinn Fein need to agree in the Northern Ireland Assembly. The DUP and Sinn Fein haven't been able to agree that the Northern Ireland Assembly can even meet for more than two years now.
So if I had to hand down a verdict I think that Boris Johnson's deal is clearly much worse than Theresa May's deal.
It is really no surprise that he was able to win those 'concessions' from the EU.
What's a mystery is why he asked for them in the first place.
15:50 on 14/12/19 (UK date).
Edited again at around 16:05 on 14/12/19 (UK date) to further add;
Of course, in his supreme arrogance.
Boris Johnson decided to hold an election during a meeting of the masters of the universe.
Where we're all have a good laugh at America. As the World burns.
So there was a little talking point about election interference. Up in the Glenns somewhere.
That was amusing though. Rather than anything which was intended to have a material impact.
So I nearly forgot;
George Soros'/Donald Tusk's/{INSERT AS APPROPRIATE}'s theme music.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=gD_Ejvq5GgU
16:05 on 14/12/19 (UK date).
Edited again at around 11:15 on 15/12/19 (UK date) to add;
Clearly there's a lesson here.
You can either have something done fast. Or you can have it done right.
Boris' Backstop is bad for Northern Ireland. It is bad for the UK Mainland.
It will be though absolutely catastrophic for the Republic of Ireland. Much of their economy comes from agriculture and the UK Mainland is pretty much the sole market for Irish farmers.
Over this past year Irish Taoiseach Leo Varadkar has been a major irritation for me and everybody else. He has always been the first to demand that Brexit be delayed and, ideally, cancelled entirely.
He is pretty much the main reason that Britain is no longer run by an adult.
Unlike with Donald Tusk this hasn't been for snide reasons. It's just that the consequences are potentially catastrophic for the Republic of Ireland. And it turns out Leo Varadkar just isn't actually particularly good at his job.
Also Leo Varadkar is just wrong on this Lisa Smith/ISIL issue. In the same way that my table just isn't a car.
So no-one's exactly overburdened with sympathy for him at the moment.
However Boris Johnson is trying to use his backstop as a gun he can hold to Ireland and the EU's head. To force them to rush through a trade deal in just one year.
There's a couple of serious problems with this.
Firstly when you hold a gun to someone's head they sometimes become compliant. They very rarely become cooperative.
I mean. Has Britain learned nothing for the 15 years its been holding a gun to my head?!
When it comes to lasting trade deals with your largest trading partner cooperative is what you need.
Also multilateral trade deals are complicated things. It takes time to properly work through all the details.
So now the battle is over I think we all need to stop for a minute and take a breath. And ask ourselves whether at times we were forced to take things that little bit too far.
Boris Johnson in particular really needs to man up and start taking responsibility.
For once in his life.
11:30 on 15/12/19 (UK date).
Like all things in British politics over the past two years this was dominated by one thing. Brexit, Britain's exit from the European Union (EU).
The Liberal Democrat Party (LibDem) positioned themselves as the party to block Brexit. They're so sweet they actually thought the slogan; "Bollocks to Brexit" counted as risque in British politics.
This strategy saw the LibDems do worse than they did at the 2017 election. Falling from 12 seats to 11. Even their leader Jo Swinson managed to lose her seat.
Swinson lost to the Scottish National Party (SNP). They too strongly opposed Brexit. But for a very different reason to the LibDems.
The SNP oppose Brexit because they've promised that if Britain leaves the EU then they will take Scotland out of Britain. That is a complete pie-in-the-sky dream. Unlike Spain's Catalonia region Scotland is Britain's poorest. It actually asked to join Britain after going bankrupt.
Seriously. Nationally there is a small, fringe Nazi party called the British National Party (BNP). They believe that everything will be wonderful once the proud British race throws off the shackles of its Zionist masters.
In Scotland there is a large, mainstream party called the Scottish National Party (SNP). They believe that everything will be wonderful once the proud Scottish race throws off the shackles of its English masters.
Which is completely different. Apparently.
Although to actual ANTIFA activists it's known as; "Peronist Facism." After the practices of Argentina's Juan Peron.
What the SNP were planning to do at this election was to prop-up a Labour Party led coalition government. Giving up the idea of a Scottish independence referendum is the price they were really hoping to pay to join that coalition and block Brexit.
That plan was partly successful for the SNP. They did a lot better than at the 2017 election. Growing from 35 seats to 48. Unfortunately the supposed hung Parliament and Labour's need for a coalition partner never materialised.
So the SNP are now stuck with 48 MP's. And a promise to take Scotland out of Britain.
As for the Labour Party. Since the morning after the 2017 election they have been utterly convinced that they are on the brink of power. So have spent those two years trying every trick in the book to bring down the government and force this election.
In doing that they somehow managed to forget to have a position on Brexit. They were punished for it by the voters.
Listening to Labour supporters last night you'd think they'd been massacred. The truth is though that they didn't do as badly as they probably should have done. Only losing 59 seats, falling from 262 to 203.
There were, I think, several things that limited the damage for Labour.
Firstly there is the deep unpopularity of the leader of the Conservative Party, Boris Johnson.
Boris Johnson is one of those people who is extremely popular amongst his extremely small group of friends. He arrogantly assumes that this translates as him being extremely popular with everyone.
It really doesn't. There are traditional Conservative voters who have a real problem liking Boris Johnson. Who they, I think rightly, see as an arrogant buffoon. And these are the people who voted for George Osborne. Who is clearly evil incarnate.
Secondly the Labour Party, particularly the Progressive London wing, now functions very much like a cult. People are inducted into the cult at an early age (school/university). The cult then controls all aspects of their lives. Funnily enough the cult really doesn't think it's members should vote against it.
Sadly the third reason is the anti-Semitism. Which Labour, particularly Ken Livingstone, have long identified as an electoral advantage for the Labour Party.
Particularly in London and large northern cities such as Leeds and Bradford Britain has a large Muslim population. Who can trace their roots back to Pakistan and Bangladesh. Many of them follow a very extreme form of Islam known as Deobandi Islam.
They are basically in Britain because they were kicked out of Muslim majority nations like Pakistan and Bangladesh. Where their views are considered far too extreme. They are viciously homophobic and viciously anti-Semitic. For reasons which have absolutely nothing to do with Israel.
So I'm not sure how helpful it was. Starting a rumour that Jews controlled the weather and made it rain to suppress turnout amongst Labour voters.
Although I should point out. As the guy named "King" with the scars on his hands in the shape of stigmata. Every time I appear to perform a miracle it counts as an anti-Semitic act. Particularly as I've managed to scratch my foot on something. So am now up to three.
The city of Belfast in Northern Ireland probably produced the most interesting talking point of the night.
In the North Belfast constituency the deputy leader of the Democratic Unionist Party (DUP) Nigel Dodd lost his seat to John Finucane. Of Sinn Fein.
This is massively significant.
The DUP are widely seen as the political wing of the Ulster Volunteer Force (UVF). A Protestant paramilitary group. Sinn Fein are widely seen as the political wing of the Provisional Irish Republican Army (PIRA). A Catholic paramilitary group.
Between 1969 and 1998 these various paramilitary groups fought a civil war in Northern Ireland. Known euphemistically as; "The Troubles." This was really a dispute over social housing that got massively out of hand.
Leading up to and throughout The Troubles Northern Ireland was a really poor place where nobody could afford to buy a home. So you had Catholics and Protestants deeply segregated each in their own social housing projects. Which we call; "Council Estates."
So even as recently as the 2017 election the DUP simply wouldn't bother campaigning in Sinn Fein areas and Sinn Fein simply wouldn't bother campaigning in DUP areas.
The Troubles were ended by the 1998 Belfast Agreement Peace Treaty. Which is commonly known as; "The Good Friday Agreement."
The big, overarching idea behind the Good Friday Agreement was to; "Use Prosperity as a Tool For Peace." Essentially as people get richer they'll lose interest in fighting each other over the sparse scraps.
This has actually been very successful. Particularly amongst the Protestant community. They've been moving out of the council estates into the suburbs in large numbers. As a result the Protestant estates are now falling into ruins.
As the joke goes; "The orange areas are turning green (with grass)." Although I think COP25 urban planners would describe them as; "Brownfield."
So the DUP have lost a seat because, once again, DUP supporters are getting richer faster than Sinn Fein supporters. Any mention of demographic change can be inflammatory in Northern Ireland. But I don't think DUP supporters will be that upset for long.
The big winners were Boris Johnson's Conservative Party. They gained 47 seats from 2017 giving them a total of 365. And a majority of 80. All on the slogan of; "Get Brexit Done."
So there is now the question of what Brexit will Boris do?
Back in October 2019 Prime Minister Johnson announced that he had secured a new Withdrawal Agreement from the EU.
This Withdrawal Agreement is exactly the same as the Withdrawal Agreement secured by his predecessor Theresa May. With just two small changes to the Protocol on Ireland/Northern Ireland. Known as; "The Backstop."
I'll attempt to do a more detailed version of this after dinner. Or possibly tomorrow.
However it is such a small change I did manage to provide the gist of it here;
https://twitterwithbraincells.blogspot.com/2019/12/i-see-amaq-are-still-on-twitter.html
At around 18:10 on 13/12/19 (UK date).
Edited at around 15:40 on 14/12/19 (UK date) to fiddle about upstairs and copy & paste from another tab;
The Backstop Protocol is itself only a very small part of the Withdrawal Agreement.
If all other parts of the Withdrawal Agreement fail then it is the fail-safe which kicks-in. To protect the Belfast Treaty. And all the New Millennium Homes it built.
It does this by placing Northern Ireland in a tailor-made Single Market with the EU. One which is remarkably similar to but fundamentally different from the EU Single Market.
Basically it allows Northern Ireland to enjoy all the benefits of being a member of the EU Single Market. Just with none of the negatives. Such as the large contributions to the EU budget and the Free Movement of Human Cargo.
At the same time the Backstop Protocol places the UK Mainland into a tailor-made Customs Union. One which is remarkably similar to but fundamentally different from the EU Customs Union.
The areas in which it differs are extremely technical. Things like the definition of imported goods in free circulation. Along with the design of the form that you will have to fill in when crossing a border and the customs checks undertaken.
It is that type of technical detail though that really adds costs to small and medium sized business. Those extra costs though do have a tendency to create new jobs. Particularly for data entry jerks like me.
What prompted the EU and Britain to bother creating a whole new Single Market and a whole new Customs Union was respect for Northern Irish Protestants. Who did not want to see a border between Northern Ireland and the UK mainland. "Regulatory Divergence" in the jargon.
Personally I always felt that stance created an awful lot of complex, technical problems. For extremely abstract, ideological reasons.
However we did the work anyway.
What Boris Johnson "New Deal" does is take the UK mainland out of the tailor-made Customs Union. Making it so much harder for business to import/export to the EU.
It also leaves Northern Ireland in the EU Customs Union. With all its negatives, except for budget contributions.
This will create a so-called "Hard Border" between Northern Ireland and the UK mainland. Regulatory Divergence at its most extreme.
However the Northern Ireland Assembly can, unilaterally scrap the Backstop Protocol. Without the consent of the EU.
All that needs to happen is that the DUP and Sinn Fein need to agree in the Northern Ireland Assembly. The DUP and Sinn Fein haven't been able to agree that the Northern Ireland Assembly can even meet for more than two years now.
So if I had to hand down a verdict I think that Boris Johnson's deal is clearly much worse than Theresa May's deal.
It is really no surprise that he was able to win those 'concessions' from the EU.
What's a mystery is why he asked for them in the first place.
15:50 on 14/12/19 (UK date).
Edited again at around 16:05 on 14/12/19 (UK date) to further add;
Of course, in his supreme arrogance.
Boris Johnson decided to hold an election during a meeting of the masters of the universe.
Where we're all have a good laugh at America. As the World burns.
So there was a little talking point about election interference. Up in the Glenns somewhere.
That was amusing though. Rather than anything which was intended to have a material impact.
So I nearly forgot;
George Soros'/Donald Tusk's/{INSERT AS APPROPRIATE}'s theme music.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=gD_Ejvq5GgU
16:05 on 14/12/19 (UK date).
Edited again at around 11:15 on 15/12/19 (UK date) to add;
Clearly there's a lesson here.
You can either have something done fast. Or you can have it done right.
Boris' Backstop is bad for Northern Ireland. It is bad for the UK Mainland.
It will be though absolutely catastrophic for the Republic of Ireland. Much of their economy comes from agriculture and the UK Mainland is pretty much the sole market for Irish farmers.
Over this past year Irish Taoiseach Leo Varadkar has been a major irritation for me and everybody else. He has always been the first to demand that Brexit be delayed and, ideally, cancelled entirely.
He is pretty much the main reason that Britain is no longer run by an adult.
Unlike with Donald Tusk this hasn't been for snide reasons. It's just that the consequences are potentially catastrophic for the Republic of Ireland. And it turns out Leo Varadkar just isn't actually particularly good at his job.
Also Leo Varadkar is just wrong on this Lisa Smith/ISIL issue. In the same way that my table just isn't a car.
So no-one's exactly overburdened with sympathy for him at the moment.
However Boris Johnson is trying to use his backstop as a gun he can hold to Ireland and the EU's head. To force them to rush through a trade deal in just one year.
There's a couple of serious problems with this.
Firstly when you hold a gun to someone's head they sometimes become compliant. They very rarely become cooperative.
I mean. Has Britain learned nothing for the 15 years its been holding a gun to my head?!
When it comes to lasting trade deals with your largest trading partner cooperative is what you need.
Also multilateral trade deals are complicated things. It takes time to properly work through all the details.
So now the battle is over I think we all need to stop for a minute and take a breath. And ask ourselves whether at times we were forced to take things that little bit too far.
Boris Johnson in particular really needs to man up and start taking responsibility.
For once in his life.
11:30 on 15/12/19 (UK date).
Monday 9 December 2019
The UK General Election 2019.
On Thursday, December 12th (12/12/19) Britain will go to the polls in a General Election.
It's second General Election in as many years.
Something which is made all the more annoying by the fact that in 2011 a law was passed. Promising that we would only have to go through this once every five years.
So it's tempting to ask whose fault all this is. And who is to blame.
The truth is that it's yours. You the British voter.
You know what you did.
You believed the polls and the media when they said Theresa May's Conservative Party would win a massive majority of more than 300 MP's. So you all decided to vote for Jeremy Corbyn's Labour Party.
Thinking that would mean that Theresa May would be the Prime Minister. Only with a bloody nose for inflicting another General Election on you. Just two years after the last.
The problem is that Theresa May has rather a strong nose. So your anger bounced off. And look at you now.
Your other mistake was to believe politicians. When they tried to convince you that the 2017 General Election was going to be about something other than Brexit.
The same is true of the 2019 General Election.
I don't care what politicians have been promising they're going to do if elected. All the money they're going to spend and the laws they're going to pass. Frankly I've not been paying it much attention at all.
That's because none of it is going to happen. Until Brexit is sorted. One way or another.
If you want to stop Brexit you should vote for Jo Swinson's Liberal Democrats (LibDems).
After all the Liberal Democrats are the party for people who just can't make a decision. So they desperately need the EU to keep making all the decisions for them.
If you want to see Brexit delivered than your choice is more difficult.
You certainly can't vote for Boris Johnson's Conservative Party. After all Boris Johnson had the opportunity to "Get Brexit Done" back on October 31st (31/10/19).
Sure Parliament had passed its Act of Surrender. That though only forced Britain to seek a delay to Brexit. It did not stop Britain from attaching reasonable conditions to that delay.
On October 18th 2019 (18/10/19) the EU blocked Albania and North Macedonia from joining. Concerns over democracy and Macedonia's sham referendum on its name change being one of the main reasons.
So the EU certainly wasn't in any mood to keep Britain as a member in defiance of a referendum.
Boris Johnson just needed to give them a tiny, little something to work with. Britain quite reasonably exercising its veto over the appointment of EU Commissioners would certainly be no little thing.
Instead, in his vanity, Boris Johnson decided not to do that. All so he could fight an election campaign under the slogan; "Get Brexit Done."
If you want to see Brexit delivered the obvious choice would be to vote for Nigel Farage's Brexit Party. Even if, having survived a plane crash, Nigel Farage does now just really want to retire in victory.
The problem is that the Brexit Party are a brand new, single issue party. They've never been elected to any local councils, let alone the national Parliament.
They are though really the sane wing of the UK Independence Party (UKIP). However UKIP have still never been elected to the national Parliament.
So I think it is highly unlikely that the Brexit Party will win the Parliamentary majority needed to form the next government.
The risk for people who want to see Brexit delivered is that we will see a repeat of what happened in May's EU Parliament election.
Some people will vote for the Brexit Party. Others will be as stupid as Boris Johnson clearly thinks that they are and vote Conservative.
This split of the Brexit vote means that only the third most popular party in each seat will go on to win.
At the EU Parliament election this was the LibDems. At this election, particularly across the north of England, the concern is that it will be the Labour Party.
So Boris Johnson clearly doesn't care whether Brexit is done or not. But if you want to see Brexit delivered then you do need to hold-your-nose and vote Conservative
As for Jeremy Corbyn's Labour Party. I'm not a viciously anti-Semitic Deobandi Muslim. So I can think of absolutely no reason why anybody would want to vote for them.
I recently wrote about how I came to meet Jeremy Corbyn. But never finished the story.
It ends with Jeremy Corbyn standing outside a Courthouse for hours in the rain. In the hope that I would emerge and explain to him what was going on. As usual he had absolutely no idea what was going on in his own party.
At both this election, and in 2017, the Conservatives have attempted to smear Labour by calling Jeremy Corbyn a Communist. Linking him to the Irish Republican Army (IRA). Even accusing him of being a Russian spy.
Strangely though they seemed to have completely missed Labour's links to the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIL). But then that would raise some deeply uncomfortable questions for the likes of Andrew Mitchell, Dominic Grieve and Tom Tugendhat.
The sad truth though is that Jeremy Corbyn is just a bit thick.
Yet is still amongst the absolute best the Labour Party has to offer.
18:00 on 9/12/19 (UK date).
It's second General Election in as many years.
Something which is made all the more annoying by the fact that in 2011 a law was passed. Promising that we would only have to go through this once every five years.
So it's tempting to ask whose fault all this is. And who is to blame.
The truth is that it's yours. You the British voter.
You know what you did.
You believed the polls and the media when they said Theresa May's Conservative Party would win a massive majority of more than 300 MP's. So you all decided to vote for Jeremy Corbyn's Labour Party.
Thinking that would mean that Theresa May would be the Prime Minister. Only with a bloody nose for inflicting another General Election on you. Just two years after the last.
The problem is that Theresa May has rather a strong nose. So your anger bounced off. And look at you now.
Your other mistake was to believe politicians. When they tried to convince you that the 2017 General Election was going to be about something other than Brexit.
The same is true of the 2019 General Election.
I don't care what politicians have been promising they're going to do if elected. All the money they're going to spend and the laws they're going to pass. Frankly I've not been paying it much attention at all.
That's because none of it is going to happen. Until Brexit is sorted. One way or another.
If you want to stop Brexit you should vote for Jo Swinson's Liberal Democrats (LibDems).
After all the Liberal Democrats are the party for people who just can't make a decision. So they desperately need the EU to keep making all the decisions for them.
If you want to see Brexit delivered than your choice is more difficult.
You certainly can't vote for Boris Johnson's Conservative Party. After all Boris Johnson had the opportunity to "Get Brexit Done" back on October 31st (31/10/19).
Sure Parliament had passed its Act of Surrender. That though only forced Britain to seek a delay to Brexit. It did not stop Britain from attaching reasonable conditions to that delay.
On October 18th 2019 (18/10/19) the EU blocked Albania and North Macedonia from joining. Concerns over democracy and Macedonia's sham referendum on its name change being one of the main reasons.
So the EU certainly wasn't in any mood to keep Britain as a member in defiance of a referendum.
Boris Johnson just needed to give them a tiny, little something to work with. Britain quite reasonably exercising its veto over the appointment of EU Commissioners would certainly be no little thing.
Instead, in his vanity, Boris Johnson decided not to do that. All so he could fight an election campaign under the slogan; "Get Brexit Done."
If you want to see Brexit delivered the obvious choice would be to vote for Nigel Farage's Brexit Party. Even if, having survived a plane crash, Nigel Farage does now just really want to retire in victory.
The problem is that the Brexit Party are a brand new, single issue party. They've never been elected to any local councils, let alone the national Parliament.
They are though really the sane wing of the UK Independence Party (UKIP). However UKIP have still never been elected to the national Parliament.
So I think it is highly unlikely that the Brexit Party will win the Parliamentary majority needed to form the next government.
The risk for people who want to see Brexit delivered is that we will see a repeat of what happened in May's EU Parliament election.
Some people will vote for the Brexit Party. Others will be as stupid as Boris Johnson clearly thinks that they are and vote Conservative.
This split of the Brexit vote means that only the third most popular party in each seat will go on to win.
At the EU Parliament election this was the LibDems. At this election, particularly across the north of England, the concern is that it will be the Labour Party.
So Boris Johnson clearly doesn't care whether Brexit is done or not. But if you want to see Brexit delivered then you do need to hold-your-nose and vote Conservative
As for Jeremy Corbyn's Labour Party. I'm not a viciously anti-Semitic Deobandi Muslim. So I can think of absolutely no reason why anybody would want to vote for them.
I recently wrote about how I came to meet Jeremy Corbyn. But never finished the story.
It ends with Jeremy Corbyn standing outside a Courthouse for hours in the rain. In the hope that I would emerge and explain to him what was going on. As usual he had absolutely no idea what was going on in his own party.
At both this election, and in 2017, the Conservatives have attempted to smear Labour by calling Jeremy Corbyn a Communist. Linking him to the Irish Republican Army (IRA). Even accusing him of being a Russian spy.
Strangely though they seemed to have completely missed Labour's links to the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIL). But then that would raise some deeply uncomfortable questions for the likes of Andrew Mitchell, Dominic Grieve and Tom Tugendhat.
The sad truth though is that Jeremy Corbyn is just a bit thick.
Yet is still amongst the absolute best the Labour Party has to offer.
18:00 on 9/12/19 (UK date).
Wednesday 20 November 2019
Eurovision 2019:ASIE: An Amendment.
Specifically to; https://watchitdie.blogspot.com/2019/05/eurovision-2019-asie-app-pt2.html
There I discussed Finland's entry. It provided something of a talking point about the changing role of women within the TV industry. By referencing the US TV Show; "Blindspot."
The premise of the show is that a woman is discovered suffering from amnesia. She then joins forces with the FBI team investigating her case to solve other crimes.
In many ways Blindspot is very different from other US police procedurals. Such as; "NCIS: Los Angeles." Featuring 2018 Song Contest host Daniela Ruah.
However it is very much centred around good guys with guns chasing bad guys with guns. In a series of gun fights, explosions, fight scenes and other action sequences.
Most TV shows, particularly in that genre, tend to be made from a slightly male perspective. What is interesting about Blindspot is that it seems to be made from a slightly female perspective.
For example the premise is that the woman with amnesia is actually found fully nude. Covered head-to-toe with elaborate, full body tattoos. These tattoos are clues to the crimes the woman and the FBI team go on to solve.
So there are numerous scenes where the team are gathered in their command centre. Looking at pictures of these tattoo clues on a big screen surrounding with dozens of FBI staff sitting at their computers.
It often conveys what a strange and embarrassing experience this is for the lead character. Having all her work mates gathered together to stare, in detail at her naked body.
This seems to be a deliberate attempt to discuss the impact that nude and sex scenes have on, particularly, actresses.
Although these scenes may appear on screen as just two people in the privacy of their bedroom they're often shot on sets with 15 to 20 people standing around. They're then sent off through the editing process which can involve another 100 or so people.
I can imagine it being quite strange and embarrassing to go into work the next day and being faced with 100 or so people who've seen you fully nude and pretending to have sex.
I remember saying that the slight female perspective of Blindspot didn't spoil my, as a man's enjoyment of the show. In fact I think it slightly improved it. With the female characters seeming more rounded and believable as a result.
In any discussion about shows in this genre being made for women or from a female perspective there is another important, if not widely known example. A Canadian TV Show called; "Rookie Blue."
When this was shown in the UK it was billed as a typical police procedural. Albeit one that was focused on uniformed officers rather than detectives.
In reality though it's a show about the increasingly complex personal life of Andy McNally. Who occasionally goes into work at the Toronto Police department.
In much the same way the US show; "Greys Anatomy" may be set in a hospital. But it's not really a medical drama.
Both Rookie Blue and Greys Anatomy have such a strong female perspective I, as a man, couldn't enjoy them. That's not me questioning their validity. It's just they weren't aimed at me, I didn't enjoy them. So I didn't watch them.
I didn't mention Rookie Blue at the time because I didn't think anyone in the Song Contest community would have heard of a Canadian show which ended in 2015. Meaning that if I mentioned it I'd have to start by explaining it.
I've since learnt though that the actress who played Andy McNally in Rookie Blue, Missy Peregrym, has got one of the leads in the US TV show; "FBI." Which is very much a police procedural centred around the FBI.
It's produced by that giant of US network TV, Dick Wolf. The man behind "Law & Order" in all its various guises.
The show FBI makes lots of frequent, quite jokey references to Missy Peregrym's past in Rookie Blue.
For example her character comes from Indiana. Explaining why her American accent isn't quite the same as all the other American accents.
The show also features a suspiciously high number of suspects who are attempting to enter the US from Canada. Or attempting to escape the US into Canada. Giving other cast members opportunity to shoot knowing looks at Missy Peregrym's character Maggie.
One episode centres around one of the senior agents revealing that he's in the Alcoholics Anonymous program. This prompts the Maggie character to ask him lots and lots of questions about Alcoholics Anonymous.
That's a deliberate reference to the Closing Ceremony of the 2010 Winter Olympics. Held in Vancouver, Canada.
It included a sequence of famous people you thought were American but are actually Canadian. William Shatner for example.
They would come out and declare; "Hello. My name is .... And I'm a Canadian."
This closely resembled the famous introduction from Alcoholics Anonymous. So closely that you expected them to then start listing all the ways in which being Canadian had ruined their lives.
As was the intended joke.
It's rare Olympic hosts use the opportunity to mock themselves.
Even the wardrobe department get in on the act.
Missy Peregrym is somewhat large breasted. This isn't something you really notice in Rookie Blue. Where much of her costume is body armour. In FBI though they really seem to be making a point of it.
The Maggie character frequently wears a pantsuit. The jackets of which seem rather tight around her chest but loose around her waist. This is something that often happens when the actress is pregnant but the character isn't.
So you do find your eyes being drawn to both her chest and waist. To see whether either have grown between episodes or even scenes.
In short you're being tricked into focusing on McNally's Anatomy.
I have to say that if that is Dick Wolf's contribution to the discussion over the changing role of women within the TV industry it seems pretty lazy. Simply referencing a TV show some other people did years ago.
Although in his defence I get the impression that Mariska Hargitay has been running "Law & Order: SVU" since about 2014.
20:20 on 20/11/19 (UK date).
There I discussed Finland's entry. It provided something of a talking point about the changing role of women within the TV industry. By referencing the US TV Show; "Blindspot."
The premise of the show is that a woman is discovered suffering from amnesia. She then joins forces with the FBI team investigating her case to solve other crimes.
In many ways Blindspot is very different from other US police procedurals. Such as; "NCIS: Los Angeles." Featuring 2018 Song Contest host Daniela Ruah.
However it is very much centred around good guys with guns chasing bad guys with guns. In a series of gun fights, explosions, fight scenes and other action sequences.
Most TV shows, particularly in that genre, tend to be made from a slightly male perspective. What is interesting about Blindspot is that it seems to be made from a slightly female perspective.
For example the premise is that the woman with amnesia is actually found fully nude. Covered head-to-toe with elaborate, full body tattoos. These tattoos are clues to the crimes the woman and the FBI team go on to solve.
So there are numerous scenes where the team are gathered in their command centre. Looking at pictures of these tattoo clues on a big screen surrounding with dozens of FBI staff sitting at their computers.
It often conveys what a strange and embarrassing experience this is for the lead character. Having all her work mates gathered together to stare, in detail at her naked body.
This seems to be a deliberate attempt to discuss the impact that nude and sex scenes have on, particularly, actresses.
Although these scenes may appear on screen as just two people in the privacy of their bedroom they're often shot on sets with 15 to 20 people standing around. They're then sent off through the editing process which can involve another 100 or so people.
I can imagine it being quite strange and embarrassing to go into work the next day and being faced with 100 or so people who've seen you fully nude and pretending to have sex.
I remember saying that the slight female perspective of Blindspot didn't spoil my, as a man's enjoyment of the show. In fact I think it slightly improved it. With the female characters seeming more rounded and believable as a result.
In any discussion about shows in this genre being made for women or from a female perspective there is another important, if not widely known example. A Canadian TV Show called; "Rookie Blue."
When this was shown in the UK it was billed as a typical police procedural. Albeit one that was focused on uniformed officers rather than detectives.
In reality though it's a show about the increasingly complex personal life of Andy McNally. Who occasionally goes into work at the Toronto Police department.
In much the same way the US show; "Greys Anatomy" may be set in a hospital. But it's not really a medical drama.
Both Rookie Blue and Greys Anatomy have such a strong female perspective I, as a man, couldn't enjoy them. That's not me questioning their validity. It's just they weren't aimed at me, I didn't enjoy them. So I didn't watch them.
I didn't mention Rookie Blue at the time because I didn't think anyone in the Song Contest community would have heard of a Canadian show which ended in 2015. Meaning that if I mentioned it I'd have to start by explaining it.
I've since learnt though that the actress who played Andy McNally in Rookie Blue, Missy Peregrym, has got one of the leads in the US TV show; "FBI." Which is very much a police procedural centred around the FBI.
It's produced by that giant of US network TV, Dick Wolf. The man behind "Law & Order" in all its various guises.
The show FBI makes lots of frequent, quite jokey references to Missy Peregrym's past in Rookie Blue.
For example her character comes from Indiana. Explaining why her American accent isn't quite the same as all the other American accents.
The show also features a suspiciously high number of suspects who are attempting to enter the US from Canada. Or attempting to escape the US into Canada. Giving other cast members opportunity to shoot knowing looks at Missy Peregrym's character Maggie.
One episode centres around one of the senior agents revealing that he's in the Alcoholics Anonymous program. This prompts the Maggie character to ask him lots and lots of questions about Alcoholics Anonymous.
That's a deliberate reference to the Closing Ceremony of the 2010 Winter Olympics. Held in Vancouver, Canada.
It included a sequence of famous people you thought were American but are actually Canadian. William Shatner for example.
They would come out and declare; "Hello. My name is .... And I'm a Canadian."
This closely resembled the famous introduction from Alcoholics Anonymous. So closely that you expected them to then start listing all the ways in which being Canadian had ruined their lives.
As was the intended joke.
It's rare Olympic hosts use the opportunity to mock themselves.
Even the wardrobe department get in on the act.
Missy Peregrym is somewhat large breasted. This isn't something you really notice in Rookie Blue. Where much of her costume is body armour. In FBI though they really seem to be making a point of it.
The Maggie character frequently wears a pantsuit. The jackets of which seem rather tight around her chest but loose around her waist. This is something that often happens when the actress is pregnant but the character isn't.
So you do find your eyes being drawn to both her chest and waist. To see whether either have grown between episodes or even scenes.
In short you're being tricked into focusing on McNally's Anatomy.
I have to say that if that is Dick Wolf's contribution to the discussion over the changing role of women within the TV industry it seems pretty lazy. Simply referencing a TV show some other people did years ago.
Although in his defence I get the impression that Mariska Hargitay has been running "Law & Order: SVU" since about 2014.
20:20 on 20/11/19 (UK date).
Taking Without Owner's Consent.
Back in June 2019 I was blocked by Twitter.
Officially this is because I urged @SkyNews, as an automated, inanimate account, to commit suicide. As part of a discussion about the ethics of extending Assisted Suicide to people with the type of severe mental health problems that render them suicidal.
Obviously I appealed that curious decision. I've been periodically checking in with Twitter to see if sanity has returned to their operations.
Lately I've been a bit remiss in doing this. Not checking in for more than a month. I've just checked in and there is no progress to report.
I probably should contact them directly. To remind them that they have still not corrected, let alone apologised for their clear error.
Although after five months of obstinace or their part things have now escalated far beyond a mere apology.
On the subject of things that have escalated far beyond anyone's plan: The Hong Kong Protests.
Starting in June 2019 these protests have been directed by the British Foreign service. For a number of reasons.
The primary one being that the US has been engaged in a trade war with China. As the World's two largest economies this is a massive deal for everyone. Particularly members of the British Commonwealth Realm such as Australia and New Zealand.
For example being rather enamoured with China's Authoritarian Capitalism former US President Obama attempted to unite the American and Chinese economies. Under the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP).
Current US President Trump dropped these plans. Other Pacific nations such as Japan and Australia went ahead with it anyone. On worryingly Chinese terms. However without US economic might TPP never really got off the ground.
So China tried to launch an alternative to TPP. The Regional Comprehensive Economic Partnership (RCEP). Using the economic might of India to replace that of America.
Although nations such as Australia and New Zealand did join RCEP the UK Commonwealth nation recently refused. Raising the possibility that RCEP will go the same way as TPP.
I'm sure you could see then why it would be useful for Britain to have a back channel with China. While China is engaged in a trade war with Britain's longstanding ally America.
The Hong Kong protests have also provided Britain with a way to provide a biting social commentary on its own, domestic politics. Which have been torn apart by Parliament's attempts to block Britain's exit from the EU. Brexit.
For example in an effort to force a delay to Brexit the British Parliament rushed through the so-called Cooper-Letwin Amendment. On a single day in April 2019. In another attempt to force a delay the British Parliament rushed through the so-called Benn Bill. In just two days in October 2019.
The Hong Kong Protests ignited in response to the second reading of an extradition bill. Several months after the first reading of the bill.
The point being that not even Communist China would show the same level of contempt for democracy as British MP's who voted for either the Cooper-Letwin or Benn Bills.
The Hong Kong protesters have almost a clearly identified uniform. Made up of a yellow construction worker's helmet alongside dust googles and a dust mask. Often accompanied by a black hoodie, construction worker's cargo pants and work boots.
I don't think anyone can claim a monopoly on wearing those items of clothing together. As a protest uniform though it is a look I myself perfected.
Back in 2003 the US, Britain and Georgia invaded Iraq. Looking for Weapons of Mass Destruction.
One of the largest UK protests against this was themed; "Weapons of Mass Construction."
So I attended. Wearing a costume made up of a yellow construction worker's helmet alongside dust googles and a dust mask. Accompanied by a black hoodie, construction worker's cargo pants and work boots.
This costume so encapsulated the theme of the protest the police's Forward Intelligence Teams assumed I must be one of the organisers. So spent the day following me around. Taking lots and lots of video and still photographs.
I've still got some of the bits and pieces of that costume. Or things that could stand in for the originals. Rather like that pile of police riot helmets Banksy recently tried inflicting on the world.
So in response to the Hong Kong Protests you would almost expect me to post a picture of parts of the costume. As something from my signature collection.
Banned from Twitter that would have to be posted on Instagram. Wouldn't it.
Funnily enough I've recently been receiving a lot of targeted online ads suggesting I become a social worker. For a company called Frontline.
When clearly the mongs have a much more urgent need for a driving instructor.
17:30 on 20/11/19 (UK date).
Officially this is because I urged @SkyNews, as an automated, inanimate account, to commit suicide. As part of a discussion about the ethics of extending Assisted Suicide to people with the type of severe mental health problems that render them suicidal.
Obviously I appealed that curious decision. I've been periodically checking in with Twitter to see if sanity has returned to their operations.
Lately I've been a bit remiss in doing this. Not checking in for more than a month. I've just checked in and there is no progress to report.
I probably should contact them directly. To remind them that they have still not corrected, let alone apologised for their clear error.
Although after five months of obstinace or their part things have now escalated far beyond a mere apology.
On the subject of things that have escalated far beyond anyone's plan: The Hong Kong Protests.
Starting in June 2019 these protests have been directed by the British Foreign service. For a number of reasons.
The primary one being that the US has been engaged in a trade war with China. As the World's two largest economies this is a massive deal for everyone. Particularly members of the British Commonwealth Realm such as Australia and New Zealand.
For example being rather enamoured with China's Authoritarian Capitalism former US President Obama attempted to unite the American and Chinese economies. Under the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP).
Current US President Trump dropped these plans. Other Pacific nations such as Japan and Australia went ahead with it anyone. On worryingly Chinese terms. However without US economic might TPP never really got off the ground.
So China tried to launch an alternative to TPP. The Regional Comprehensive Economic Partnership (RCEP). Using the economic might of India to replace that of America.
Although nations such as Australia and New Zealand did join RCEP the UK Commonwealth nation recently refused. Raising the possibility that RCEP will go the same way as TPP.
I'm sure you could see then why it would be useful for Britain to have a back channel with China. While China is engaged in a trade war with Britain's longstanding ally America.
The Hong Kong protests have also provided Britain with a way to provide a biting social commentary on its own, domestic politics. Which have been torn apart by Parliament's attempts to block Britain's exit from the EU. Brexit.
For example in an effort to force a delay to Brexit the British Parliament rushed through the so-called Cooper-Letwin Amendment. On a single day in April 2019. In another attempt to force a delay the British Parliament rushed through the so-called Benn Bill. In just two days in October 2019.
The Hong Kong Protests ignited in response to the second reading of an extradition bill. Several months after the first reading of the bill.
The point being that not even Communist China would show the same level of contempt for democracy as British MP's who voted for either the Cooper-Letwin or Benn Bills.
The Hong Kong protesters have almost a clearly identified uniform. Made up of a yellow construction worker's helmet alongside dust googles and a dust mask. Often accompanied by a black hoodie, construction worker's cargo pants and work boots.
I don't think anyone can claim a monopoly on wearing those items of clothing together. As a protest uniform though it is a look I myself perfected.
Back in 2003 the US, Britain and Georgia invaded Iraq. Looking for Weapons of Mass Destruction.
One of the largest UK protests against this was themed; "Weapons of Mass Construction."
So I attended. Wearing a costume made up of a yellow construction worker's helmet alongside dust googles and a dust mask. Accompanied by a black hoodie, construction worker's cargo pants and work boots.
This costume so encapsulated the theme of the protest the police's Forward Intelligence Teams assumed I must be one of the organisers. So spent the day following me around. Taking lots and lots of video and still photographs.
I've still got some of the bits and pieces of that costume. Or things that could stand in for the originals. Rather like that pile of police riot helmets Banksy recently tried inflicting on the world.
So in response to the Hong Kong Protests you would almost expect me to post a picture of parts of the costume. As something from my signature collection.
Banned from Twitter that would have to be posted on Instagram. Wouldn't it.
Funnily enough I've recently been receiving a lot of targeted online ads suggesting I become a social worker. For a company called Frontline.
When clearly the mongs have a much more urgent need for a driving instructor.
17:30 on 20/11/19 (UK date).
Monday 18 November 2019
Long May Purdah Continue.
Britain is holding a General Election on December 12th (12/12/19).
Once a General Election campaign has begun the British state enters a legal period known as; "Purdah." A Persian and Urdu word meaning; "Veil" or; "Seclusion."
Essentially it means that no public body can engage in any activity that might influence the outcome of the election.
Candidates and Parties can promise all the things they're going to do if elected. However the state itself can do almost nothing at all.
I took advantage of this Purdah period to visit my mothers. Who live in Salisbury, UK.
One of my mothers wanted to visited me in the week leading up to the October 31st (31/10/19) Brexit deadline. A request which recieved a firm no.
Honestly about 90% of the time I spend visiting my mothers is dominated by animals of various shapes and sizes. Despite this those trips seem to attract a lot of international interest. Forcing me to account for them.
This most recent visit began on Tuesday (12/11/19). My mother's had to wait in for an engineer to service their boiler so I didn't arrive until late afternoon. One mother met me at the station while the other was doing something in town.
We met up at a coffee shop in town and obviously had coffee. Before returning to their home. From there is was just a matter of unpacking, having dinner and going to bed.
We did watch the first episode of the BBC/HBO adaptation of; "His Dark Materials." And struggled to imagine a world where you have a small animal following you around at all times. As if even a moment of separation would cause the animal immense pain.
On Wednesday (13/11/19) I went out to by new shoes. I prefer what are known as trail shoes. These are sort of midway between training shoes and hiking boots.
They're the sort of thing that can be quite difficult to find in London. But with its focus on outdoor pursuits Salisbury has like a dozen shops dedicated to exactly that sort of thing. All within walking distance of each other.
After visiting those dozen or so shops I ended up buying a pair exactly the same as the ones I was wearing at the time. Merrell Intercepts in black. Although these ones are about 75mm taller. On account of the tread still being intact.
I also picked up a pair of Karrimor hiking boots at a ridiculous discount. These are something I've always sort of needed when I'm down there. On account of all the walking my mothers and their dog do.
I've just not been able to justify spending upwards of 120 quid on something I'll only use three or four times a year. At 75% off suddenly I could justify it.
After another stop at the coffee shop all three of us returned home. Then one of my mothers and I took the dog for a long walk around Old Serum. Where the boots instantly proved themselves to be a good investment.
Late in the evening all three of us went out for dinner at an Indian restaurant close to the station.
This was the first time I'd visited a restaurant in Salisbury since December 2017. On that occasion one of my mothers and I went to a restaurant called Zizzis. Central to the infamous Skripal, Novichok poisoning.
As I think the entire World discovered in March 2018 Zizzis is located on the edge of the town centre. Right by that little bridge which leads to the main car park.
We were in town at around lunchtime and trying to decide where to eat in the evening. So we stuck our heads in the door of Zizzis and asked if we would need to book a table for around seven. The manager told us there was no need and actually refused to take the booking because we could just turn up.
When we just turned up at around seven the same manager told us there was no room and we should have booked.
I was perfectly happy to go to Pizza Express across the town square which is pretty much the same thing. My mother though dug in and amid much attitude eventually we did get a table. The wobbly one by the toilets.
So I have always been tempted to dispel the rumour that I ordered a Chemical Weapons attack as punishment for poor restaurant service. Even if that can sometimes be a useful rumour to leave hanging in the air.
Not that poor service was even remotely an issue in that Indian restaurant. Late evening on a wet Wednesday in November you've pretty much got yourself a private restaurant. As we left the only other customer was a woman who was dining alone.
I pretty much spent Thursday (14/11/19) morning playing with the dog in the garden. Well, the dog played in the garden. I sat there putting waterproofing wax on my new boots. The mere fact I was present though gave the dog permission to hurtle around like a maniac.
In retirement my lawyer mother has started to volunteer at a residential course for international students studying English as a second language. This is being hosted at the local college/polytechnic which is in the process of promoting itself to a University.
It was perhaps appropriate then all three of us decided to meet for lunch at a bar/cafe on the former site of Salisbury's Literary and Scientific Institute. In keeping with the buildings past this is decorated with lots of wall art showing early scientific discoveries and portraits of former fellows of the institute.
A lot of this wall art is adorned with Star of Davids symbols. Prompting lots of small talk over whether it's Jewish or Masonic in origin. Closer inspection revealed one with Illuminati iconography.
That is to say the actual 18th Century Illuminati. Dedicated to spreading enlightenment in the fields of science, art and literature. Not the Internet conspiracy theory.
The lunch was actually revealing of what Salisbury is actually like.
Talking to the assistant manager who served us it turned out he was a Sandhurst graduate and former British Army officer. He was working there to gain experience there before opening his own restaurant in Weymouth with his girlfriend and small child.
Unlike London Salisbury is one of those places where people will just tell you their life story, pretty much unprompted. It's also the sort of place where you can't swing your arms without hitting someone who is either serving military or ex-military.
My mothers actually live close to a local primary school. There is something adorable about watching big men in combat fatigues picking up tiny children dressed as fairies.
Unfortunately my mother's session at the college had been interrupted by the fire alarm repeatedly going off for no real reason. Constantly forcing them out of the warm and into the cold. I'd spent the morning sitting outside with the dog.
So none of us were particularly conversational with this assistant manager. The honest answer to when he asked what were our plans for the rest of the day would have been to go home and lie down. The cold had given us all splitting headaches.
Late in the afternoon my sister came over from Surrey. So one of my mothers and I met her for coffee by the station before she came back to the house.
The only real thing of note about that is she has a friend who owns a horse. That horse has suffered an abscess on their hoof. While the bandages were being changed the horse stamped on its owners foot, breaking it.
So my sister has been rushing around caring for both the horse and its owner. Apparently they did insist on a cast the same colour as the veterinary wrap. So horse and owner match in their injured feet.
After dinner I watched the football on my own. Then when to bed.
Friday (15/11/19) morning was really spent packing and messing about with the dog. Before catching a train at lunchtime to return home by mid-afternoon.
When I travel like this there is a bit of a security issue. Although I don't think it's something specific to me.
If you put on social media where you live. Then put on social media when you'll be away from home. There's a fair chance your house is going to get robbed. Particularly for celebrities Instagram does seem to be a to-do list for burglars.
The last time I travelled to visit my mothers was in early August. The main purpose was to visit the Hampshire Agricultural and Country Show.
On that occasion my plans were telegraphed by the shooting at the Gilroy Garlic Festival in California, US. On July 27th (27/7/19). In terms of their physical layout and general atmosphere the Garlic Festival and Hamsphire show seem very similar.
Immediately upon my return there was the mass shooting in El Paso, Texas on August 3rd (3/8/19). That was followed a day later by another mass shooting in Dayton, Ohio on August 4th (4/8/19). The month was rounded off with the mass shooting in Odessa, Texas on August 31st (31/8/19).
So it should probably come as little surprise that this trip was interrupted by another mass shooting. This time at the Saugus High School in Santa Clarita, California, US. On November 14th 2019 (14/11/19).
For security reasons I try not to have a pattern for these little trips. However it tends to be the case that I only stay for two nights. On this occasion I stayed for three nights.
"Saugus" is a Native American (Algonquin) word meaning; "Great" or; "Extended." Probably the most famous Saugus is a suburb of Boston, Massachusetts. An area of New England I seem particularly linked to. Not least because of a dog with a very Irish first and last name.
It's the same link which allows me to know the Saint Clare of Assisi, from which Santa Clarita takes its name, is famous for the Order of Poor Ladies. Like Franciscan Monks they're famous for their poverty. Often walking about barefoot or in worn out shoes.
The BBC is currently airing the German-Italian miniseries; "The Name of the Rose." Which deals extensively with disputes between the Franciscans and the wider Catholic Church during the 14th Century. Although it doesn't feature anywhere near enough books for one of my mothers.
The November 14th (14/11/19) shooting put pressure on me to react while flagging up that I was an extended trip away. Giving any potential threats another night of opportunity. Although it's unlikely that any of the threats I'm concerned about would be able to translate from Algonquin.
This hostility seems to stem from Saugus High School's role in the; "March For Our Lives" protests. Which followed the the February 14th 2018 (14/2/18) mass shooting at the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, US.
That shooting and the protests that followed served to distract Americans from the 2018 Winter Olympics being held in that other Parkland, the Republic of Korea (RoK).
The main theme of those Olympics was the topic of fake news.
The Olympic Cauldron itself was designed to resemble the Tripod Aliens from H.G Wells' "War of the Worlds." The 1938 radio production of War of the Worlds was considered the greatest media hoax perpetrated against the American people.
Or at least it was. Until the 2016 Presidential campaign.
Curiously this was not the first time Native American languages had been in the news that week. On November 13th (13/11/19) NASA renamed a dwarf planet in the Keppler Belt; "Arrokoth." It's previous name; "Ultima Thule" was too closely linked to Nazis.
Incidentally the BBC has started airing a new adaptation of War of the Worlds. It's been criticised for its efforts to be more "Woke" and "Progressive."
H.G Wells famously despised women.
He also believed the disabled and the inferior races should be exterminated. Through a eugenics program of euthanasia and abortion.
His ultimate dream was that all national borders be abolished and the World be run by a single Socialist regime.
I'm not sure how you can make the master of Fake News more Woke and Progressive.
18:00 on 18/11/19 (UK date).
Once a General Election campaign has begun the British state enters a legal period known as; "Purdah." A Persian and Urdu word meaning; "Veil" or; "Seclusion."
Essentially it means that no public body can engage in any activity that might influence the outcome of the election.
Candidates and Parties can promise all the things they're going to do if elected. However the state itself can do almost nothing at all.
I took advantage of this Purdah period to visit my mothers. Who live in Salisbury, UK.
One of my mothers wanted to visited me in the week leading up to the October 31st (31/10/19) Brexit deadline. A request which recieved a firm no.
Honestly about 90% of the time I spend visiting my mothers is dominated by animals of various shapes and sizes. Despite this those trips seem to attract a lot of international interest. Forcing me to account for them.
This most recent visit began on Tuesday (12/11/19). My mother's had to wait in for an engineer to service their boiler so I didn't arrive until late afternoon. One mother met me at the station while the other was doing something in town.
We met up at a coffee shop in town and obviously had coffee. Before returning to their home. From there is was just a matter of unpacking, having dinner and going to bed.
We did watch the first episode of the BBC/HBO adaptation of; "His Dark Materials." And struggled to imagine a world where you have a small animal following you around at all times. As if even a moment of separation would cause the animal immense pain.
On Wednesday (13/11/19) I went out to by new shoes. I prefer what are known as trail shoes. These are sort of midway between training shoes and hiking boots.
They're the sort of thing that can be quite difficult to find in London. But with its focus on outdoor pursuits Salisbury has like a dozen shops dedicated to exactly that sort of thing. All within walking distance of each other.
After visiting those dozen or so shops I ended up buying a pair exactly the same as the ones I was wearing at the time. Merrell Intercepts in black. Although these ones are about 75mm taller. On account of the tread still being intact.
I also picked up a pair of Karrimor hiking boots at a ridiculous discount. These are something I've always sort of needed when I'm down there. On account of all the walking my mothers and their dog do.
I've just not been able to justify spending upwards of 120 quid on something I'll only use three or four times a year. At 75% off suddenly I could justify it.
After another stop at the coffee shop all three of us returned home. Then one of my mothers and I took the dog for a long walk around Old Serum. Where the boots instantly proved themselves to be a good investment.
Late in the evening all three of us went out for dinner at an Indian restaurant close to the station.
This was the first time I'd visited a restaurant in Salisbury since December 2017. On that occasion one of my mothers and I went to a restaurant called Zizzis. Central to the infamous Skripal, Novichok poisoning.
As I think the entire World discovered in March 2018 Zizzis is located on the edge of the town centre. Right by that little bridge which leads to the main car park.
We were in town at around lunchtime and trying to decide where to eat in the evening. So we stuck our heads in the door of Zizzis and asked if we would need to book a table for around seven. The manager told us there was no need and actually refused to take the booking because we could just turn up.
When we just turned up at around seven the same manager told us there was no room and we should have booked.
I was perfectly happy to go to Pizza Express across the town square which is pretty much the same thing. My mother though dug in and amid much attitude eventually we did get a table. The wobbly one by the toilets.
So I have always been tempted to dispel the rumour that I ordered a Chemical Weapons attack as punishment for poor restaurant service. Even if that can sometimes be a useful rumour to leave hanging in the air.
Not that poor service was even remotely an issue in that Indian restaurant. Late evening on a wet Wednesday in November you've pretty much got yourself a private restaurant. As we left the only other customer was a woman who was dining alone.
I pretty much spent Thursday (14/11/19) morning playing with the dog in the garden. Well, the dog played in the garden. I sat there putting waterproofing wax on my new boots. The mere fact I was present though gave the dog permission to hurtle around like a maniac.
In retirement my lawyer mother has started to volunteer at a residential course for international students studying English as a second language. This is being hosted at the local college/polytechnic which is in the process of promoting itself to a University.
It was perhaps appropriate then all three of us decided to meet for lunch at a bar/cafe on the former site of Salisbury's Literary and Scientific Institute. In keeping with the buildings past this is decorated with lots of wall art showing early scientific discoveries and portraits of former fellows of the institute.
A lot of this wall art is adorned with Star of Davids symbols. Prompting lots of small talk over whether it's Jewish or Masonic in origin. Closer inspection revealed one with Illuminati iconography.
That is to say the actual 18th Century Illuminati. Dedicated to spreading enlightenment in the fields of science, art and literature. Not the Internet conspiracy theory.
The lunch was actually revealing of what Salisbury is actually like.
Talking to the assistant manager who served us it turned out he was a Sandhurst graduate and former British Army officer. He was working there to gain experience there before opening his own restaurant in Weymouth with his girlfriend and small child.
Unlike London Salisbury is one of those places where people will just tell you their life story, pretty much unprompted. It's also the sort of place where you can't swing your arms without hitting someone who is either serving military or ex-military.
My mothers actually live close to a local primary school. There is something adorable about watching big men in combat fatigues picking up tiny children dressed as fairies.
Unfortunately my mother's session at the college had been interrupted by the fire alarm repeatedly going off for no real reason. Constantly forcing them out of the warm and into the cold. I'd spent the morning sitting outside with the dog.
So none of us were particularly conversational with this assistant manager. The honest answer to when he asked what were our plans for the rest of the day would have been to go home and lie down. The cold had given us all splitting headaches.
Late in the afternoon my sister came over from Surrey. So one of my mothers and I met her for coffee by the station before she came back to the house.
The only real thing of note about that is she has a friend who owns a horse. That horse has suffered an abscess on their hoof. While the bandages were being changed the horse stamped on its owners foot, breaking it.
So my sister has been rushing around caring for both the horse and its owner. Apparently they did insist on a cast the same colour as the veterinary wrap. So horse and owner match in their injured feet.
After dinner I watched the football on my own. Then when to bed.
Friday (15/11/19) morning was really spent packing and messing about with the dog. Before catching a train at lunchtime to return home by mid-afternoon.
When I travel like this there is a bit of a security issue. Although I don't think it's something specific to me.
If you put on social media where you live. Then put on social media when you'll be away from home. There's a fair chance your house is going to get robbed. Particularly for celebrities Instagram does seem to be a to-do list for burglars.
The last time I travelled to visit my mothers was in early August. The main purpose was to visit the Hampshire Agricultural and Country Show.
On that occasion my plans were telegraphed by the shooting at the Gilroy Garlic Festival in California, US. On July 27th (27/7/19). In terms of their physical layout and general atmosphere the Garlic Festival and Hamsphire show seem very similar.
Immediately upon my return there was the mass shooting in El Paso, Texas on August 3rd (3/8/19). That was followed a day later by another mass shooting in Dayton, Ohio on August 4th (4/8/19). The month was rounded off with the mass shooting in Odessa, Texas on August 31st (31/8/19).
So it should probably come as little surprise that this trip was interrupted by another mass shooting. This time at the Saugus High School in Santa Clarita, California, US. On November 14th 2019 (14/11/19).
For security reasons I try not to have a pattern for these little trips. However it tends to be the case that I only stay for two nights. On this occasion I stayed for three nights.
"Saugus" is a Native American (Algonquin) word meaning; "Great" or; "Extended." Probably the most famous Saugus is a suburb of Boston, Massachusetts. An area of New England I seem particularly linked to. Not least because of a dog with a very Irish first and last name.
It's the same link which allows me to know the Saint Clare of Assisi, from which Santa Clarita takes its name, is famous for the Order of Poor Ladies. Like Franciscan Monks they're famous for their poverty. Often walking about barefoot or in worn out shoes.
The BBC is currently airing the German-Italian miniseries; "The Name of the Rose." Which deals extensively with disputes between the Franciscans and the wider Catholic Church during the 14th Century. Although it doesn't feature anywhere near enough books for one of my mothers.
The November 14th (14/11/19) shooting put pressure on me to react while flagging up that I was an extended trip away. Giving any potential threats another night of opportunity. Although it's unlikely that any of the threats I'm concerned about would be able to translate from Algonquin.
This hostility seems to stem from Saugus High School's role in the; "March For Our Lives" protests. Which followed the the February 14th 2018 (14/2/18) mass shooting at the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, US.
That shooting and the protests that followed served to distract Americans from the 2018 Winter Olympics being held in that other Parkland, the Republic of Korea (RoK).
The main theme of those Olympics was the topic of fake news.
The Olympic Cauldron itself was designed to resemble the Tripod Aliens from H.G Wells' "War of the Worlds." The 1938 radio production of War of the Worlds was considered the greatest media hoax perpetrated against the American people.
Or at least it was. Until the 2016 Presidential campaign.
Curiously this was not the first time Native American languages had been in the news that week. On November 13th (13/11/19) NASA renamed a dwarf planet in the Keppler Belt; "Arrokoth." It's previous name; "Ultima Thule" was too closely linked to Nazis.
Incidentally the BBC has started airing a new adaptation of War of the Worlds. It's been criticised for its efforts to be more "Woke" and "Progressive."
H.G Wells famously despised women.
He also believed the disabled and the inferior races should be exterminated. Through a eugenics program of euthanasia and abortion.
His ultimate dream was that all national borders be abolished and the World be run by a single Socialist regime.
I'm not sure how you can make the master of Fake News more Woke and Progressive.
18:00 on 18/11/19 (UK date).
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)