Toddler Adandoned in Carlisle

The big news in the UK today is that a young girl believed to be about three years old was found abandoned in a pram in Carlisle, Scotland at around 23:00 on Thursday night.

This is actually the latest round in a bilateral that's been going on between the US and the UK for about a week. It began last Firday (22/3/13) with the death of Donna Oettinger and her three year old son in front of a train at Riddlesdown station in South Croydon. A Coroners Inquest has yet to be held but the incident is widely being treated as the mother committing suicide and murdering her child in the process. This tragedy obviously disrupted rail services throughout Croydon last Friday and cast a dark shadow across the borough. The US rapidly responded with the shooting and killing of a 13 month of boy also on Friday in Brunswick, Georgia, US. Brunswick, Georgia is of course not to be mistaken with the Canadian province of New Brunswick. Therefore this was meant to look like the UK asking the US if they should just kill the child I supposedly fathered back in 2007. The US then responding that the UK should definitely kill that child. Today's latest round looks like the UK going; "Ok we'll abandon it then."

However there is no evidence my child ever actually existed and the Carlisle featured in the story could be mistaken for the Carlisle trucking company featured in the US TV show "Ice Road Truckers." I'll need check but I'm pretty sure that Rihanna's tour caravan was actually impounded in one of the trucking yards featured in the show. So I suppose my fictional child could have being used as a metaphor for certain other wacky ideas the UK has for me. Possibly the idea that I'll be forced to undertake work related activity. However I think mainly all this was just was two close allies working in unison to spread confusion and disruption.

On the subject of the US working with a close ally to spread confusion and disruption the Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea (DPRK) have been noisy again. After shutting down the hotline with South Korea which I suppose could have been a reference to my Rihanna phone DPRK is now apparently aiming it's rockets at the US and talking about the need to settle accounts. I suppose the US and the DPRK are hoping that we'll all stare deeply into this looking for indications the US is about to abandon some of it's wacky ideas about Chris Brown.

After all we'd all hate to see the US try and labour away in the desert again as they did during COP18/CMP8. Well I say 'hate.' If you weren't American that was hilarious to watch.

10:20 on 29/3/13.