Thursday 7 March 2013

Operation Misery: Final Preparations


Operation Misery is the name I shall be using to refer to Rihanna’s Diamonds Tour. That’s because on a personal level the objective of the tour is to make Rihanna so miserable that it fuels the fantasy that she will one day retire and live happily ever after with Chris Brown.

On Monday (4/3/13) Rihanna visited London, UK for the retail launch of her River Island clothing line. The primary objective of this was to make the UK the centre of attention by giving them the opportunity to inspect Rihanna following her reunion with Chris Brown and ahead of Diamonds Tour the first US leg of which begins on Friday (8/3/13). The secondary objective was to behave in the most provocative possible in order to put pressure on Kenya during their Presidential election and test what the world will tolerate in terms of the highly political Diamonds tour.

In order to maximise the provocation Rihanna’s visit was accompanied by a flurry of stories from the US such as Lindsey Lohan's rumoured refusal to enter a rehabilitation program, Casey Anthony's appearance in Court for a bankruptcy hearing and the FAA giving the Boeing 787 Dreamliner permission to fly again. These stories were all so contradictory they were unmistakably designed to cause confusion and panic.

So in no particular order;

Whitey Bulger; It was announced that Whitey Bulger won't be able to plead immunity from prosecution at his upcoming trial. Whitey Bulger is a notorious Boston Irish gangster who has previously been used extensively as a US metaphor for me. However here in the UK we have the equally notorious case of James Bulger who was a 2 year old boy who was murdered by two 10 year old boys in 1993. The killers have since been released from prison under new identities. The entire world is prevented from reporting details of those new identities under an example of a Contra Mundum injunction. Recently the Jamie Bulger case has been used as a metaphor for the Chris Brown case. Therefore the news that Whitey Bulger doesn't have immunity from prosecution could be bad news for me or equally could be bad news for Chris Brown. Personally I think that primarily talk is cheap.

However the purpose behind the timing of the Whitey Bulger news was to get everybody speculating that it could be bad news for me. I would then step forward to point out that it's actually more likely to be bad news for Chris Brown. This would obviously have a negative impact on Rihanna's mood during the River Island launch and more importantly the launch party where the real inspection would take place.

The whole thing does though highlight the fundamental problem that the US has with its Rihanna operation. The people they are trying to fool are significantly older than your average Rihanna or Chris Brown fan. They also routinely make life of death decisions for millions if not tens of millions of people. Therefore their reaction to the Rihanna/Brown relationship is most likely to be one of boredom.

For example no-one believes that Rihanna's provocative silence on this trip has anything to do with me. Instead they understand that she believes that if she follows the CIA's rules to the letter they will reward her by helping to keep Chris Brown out of prison. Mind you I think few of them will agree that being given the opportunity to engage in a relationship with Chris Brown counts as a 'reward.'

Boeing's 787 Dreamliner;  It was incorrectly reported that the US' Federal Aviation Authority (FAA) has lifted its ban on Boeing 787 Dreamliner aircraft using US airspace. While there is a legitimate teething problem with the 787 fleet the story has long been used as a metaphor for Rihanna's Diamonds Tour or more accurately Chris Brown's role within that tour. Therefore the news that the FAA are allowing the Dreamliner to fly again could be interpreted as the US giving its full endorsement to the Rihanna/Brown reunion and giving Brown permission to join Rihanna on tour.

However the FAA is only granting permission for Dreamliners to operate within US airspace on condition that they install a technical fix. Basically the legitimate problem has been traced to a single section of the aircraft's lithium-ion battery which is referred to as either "Cell 6" or "Chris Brown" depending on your translation service. The technical solution involves confining each of the individual cells (particularly Cell 6) into their own small protective box rather like a prison cell. Therefore the story could also be interpreted as the US saying that Rihanna's tour can only go ahead on condition that Chris Brown goes to prison. However it's worth noting that the US have firmly rejected a Japanese suggestion that Brown is electronically tagged while under strict bail conditions and awaiting trial. This is obviously likely to have a negative effect on Rihanna's mood because if justice is allowed to run its course Chris Brown will be going to prison for a very long time. The current sentence that is being bounced around is 15 to 20 years with the possibility of early release. Considering that Brown has already violated probation at least once that should be considered a generous offer.

What will have a negative impact on Rihanna's and everybody else's mood is that this also raises for debate the very real possibility that if Brown were to attempt to join Rihanna on tour the host nation may simply refuse him entry, deport him back to the US and declare him persona non grata preventing him from re-entering that country ever again.

In response to the FAA news on the Dreamliner UK tour operator Thomson have announced that they will be switching all passengers booked for 787 flights in May and June onto 767 aircraft. This could be interpreted as the UK registering it's disapproval at the Rihanna/Brown reunion. However it is much more likely to be the UK enquiring about what has essentially been a complex bilateral between the US and Japan. This is further emphasised by my father theatrically and annoyingly making a big show out of recharging his car battery. See also Monday's plane crash in the Diamond Republic of Congo (DRC).

Also on Tuesday in the UK British bank robber Edward 'Fast Eddie' Maher was jailed over a USD1.8 million security van robbery in 1993. He had been living as a fugitive in the US since then. 'Fast Eddie' is also the nickname of Edward 'Fast Eddie' George the Governor of the Bank of England between 1993 and 2003. So I think the US and the UK are going to have to try much harder to convince people that the current Rihanna/Chris Brown operation is something other than a Protestant circle-jerk.

The Florida A&M University Marching Band; It was announced that criminal charges against 12 former members of the Florida A&M University marching band over the death of Robert Champion in an apparent hazing incident have been upgraded to manslaughter

Despite all the evidence to the contrary  Rihanna's handlers still think she is contact with me to act as a sort of honey trap. The idea being that I'm so captivated by her she can be used to control my behaviour. Her efforts to get me to sign up to Instagram are a prime example of this that I will explain in more detail later. Primarily the objective of this is to damage my reputation by making me look foolish. However it does have a more sinister side. For example the time difference between London and LA has caused the time I'm active to slip marginally increasing pressure on the Asia- Pacific region including China. Also provided you don't look in too much detail my ability to go on all these little Rihanna related errands would seem inconsistent with the symptoms I'm claiming disability benefit for. Finally because at times my behaviour could be described as a bit stalkerish it could ultimately lead to Rihanna taking legal action against me such as applying for a restraining order. This could go as far as to make it a criminal offence for me to use the Internet which would obviously silence me. Rihanna is going along with this because her handlers have told her (perhaps lied is the better term) that these things are in fact a series of tests or challenges I must complete in order to be accepted by her handlers.

Apart from the fact this again raises questions about Rihanna's inability to recognise who wants to help and who wants to hurt I supposed you could compare the situation to hazing. Therefore the Florida A&M story could be interpreted as the US apologising for its plan or an attempt to promote discussion about the success or failure of the plan.

However as the victim Robert Champion is black he certainly looks more like Chris Brown then me. Therefore the story could also be interpreted a discussion about the sort of treatment Brown can expect in prison. Obviously this could be taken as an argument against sending Brown to prison but not a particularly good one because the fact it is unpleasant is kind of the entire point of punishment. Clearly this sort of discussion will have a negative effect on Rihanna's mood and is an attempt to intimidate her into obeying her handler’s rules so they will continue to protect Brown and prevent him from being sent to prison.

Casey Anthony’s Bankruptcy Hearing; Casey Anthony was the mother of Caylee Anthony an American two year old girl whose disappearance in 2008 gripped a nation. Eventually Caylee was discovered dead and her mother Casey was charged for her murder but was acquitted in 2011 to the surprise of many people. However the Casey Anthony story has recently been resurrected through her application for bankruptcy. This has been done so she along with the Jimmy Lee Dykes case in Alabama and the hunt for Richard III can be used as a metaphor for the woman I supposedly fathered a child with after raping in 2007.

Although there's no evidence that any part of that story is true some of the duty of care issues involved are incredibly similar to the issues in Rihanna and Chris Brown's reunion specifically the October 2012 New York Nightclub incident. That has a knock on effect in the Julian Assange/Wikileaks/Bradley Manning cases along with the case of Mark Bridger who is accused of abducting and murdering April Jones, a five year old British schoolgirl on the same day Rihanna and Brown reunited. This sort of discussion will obviously have a negative impact on Rihanna's mood because it's quite common for abuse victims to convince themselves what they are experiencing is love and that they deserve the abuse they experience as a psychological survival mechanism. They often become agitated and unstable when that survival mechanism is challenged. However in Rihanna's case this appears to be manifesting itself as psychosomatic illness.

This sort of discussion should also have a negative impact on the mood of Chris Brown's probation officer. That's because while it would be very difficult to convict Brown for rape over the October 2012 incident his probation officer has opened themselves up to a criminal charge of reckless endangerment by failing to immediately apply to have his restraining order reinstated.

Also as Britain and the US' plan has hit some - shall we say potholes in the road - Britain has been threatening to punish me by prosecuting me over the alleged rape. The only thing I can say to that is if the Brits seriously think they can mount a prosecution for a 6 year old rape allegation where there are serious and legitimate questions about the credibility of the sole witness I suggest they stop talking and start doing.

The bankruptcy part of the story relates to my financial circumstances and disability benefit claim. You see the plan was that the combination of having no income, being forced to re-apply, launch complex appeals and possibly being forced to undertake work related activity would combine to leave me so stressed that I'd be unable to function. As yet there is no indication that is going to be the case. For example I actually received the ESA3 form last Friday (1/3/13) but have not yet felt the need to read it let alone fill it in. So I suppose that does raise the question of how much of this plan is going to have to be in ruins before the Yanks accept that it's over and terminate it.

Lindsey Lohan’s Legal Troubles; During the River Island launch rumours started to circulate that Lindsey Lohan does not think she will be jailed at her upcoming (March I think) trial and will refuse to take part in a Court mandated rehabilitation program. Along with Michael Jackson Lindsey Lohan is very much a by-word for the failures of the LA County Justice system. Therefore the rumour that she doesn't think she will go to prison could be interpreted as an indication that Brown will continue to be protected and not go to prison.

The Rehabilitation bit is more interesting. That's because since certainly the UK's August 2011 riots there has been a growing consensus that Rihanna really needs to sort herself out so she stops stumbling into the middle of big and complex global issues. What the UK thinks her problems are was one of the major themes of the para-Olympic closing ceremony which I dubbed the "Rehabilitation of Rihanna." However there is a more serious side to this because while I wouldn't go so far as to say she has psychological problems Rihanna clearly has some emotional issues that need to be dealt with. Chief amongst these is her coming to terms with the fact that while she believes her emotions towards Brown are genuine in reality they've been faked in order to manipulate her behaviour. This is exactly the same problems faced by women who had a sexual/romantic relationships with infamous UK undercover police officer Mark Kennedy.

So the rumour that Lohan is refusing rehab could be interpreted as the US saying that Rihanna has no intention of facing up to those issues. That of course is something that will change rapidly once Brown is removed from the calculation. However it's quite obvious that this conversation is not going to improve Rihanna's mood any.

On something of a side note Canadian pop-star Justin Bieber is currently in the middle of something of a Twitter storm after disappointing fans by turning up some 2 hours late for his concert at London's 02 Arena on Monday night. Exactly how late he was is still a matter for discussion. However Bieber has since taken to Twitter blaming the delay on technical problems caused by the venue. Apart from promoting discussion about me missing my marks during the Rihanna launch event this could be interpreted as a hint to Rihanna about her disastrous 777 Tour or an attempt to promote discussion about possibly retaliations Rihanna could face due to her needlessly aggressive behaviour.

The real reason though is far more gossipy and therefore far more interesting. Back in January 2013 Bieber split up with his long term girlfriend Selena Gomez and by all accounts the 19 year old has not been taking it well. Since then he's been making lots of these sort of overture towards Rihanna. Therefore I stand by my comment about Rihanna being able to do better than Chris Brown. But not by much.

As for Rihanna’s conduct during the visit it wasn’t a total disaster. For example she arrived in the UK on Monday afternoon, attended the launch event and then left the UK at dawn on Tuesday. She even managed to turn up at the official launch party attended by people will help support the product. She arrived at around 01:00 which has led to some people claiming she arrived late. However as the clothing line went on sale at 01:00 I would say it was more a case of people leaving too early. This had the helpful side effect of minimising the time and number of people available to carry out the inspection.

In terms of reporting her movements Rihanna kept a complete silence on both Twitter and Instagram save for a single Tweet just as the launch event was due to start. This behaviour was clearly designed to provoke. On the journey to the UK though her transfer between jurisdictions was recorded in the usual fashion of paparazzi at the respective airports. However as I predicted on the last trip this all fell to pieces as she left on a private jet via a small airport without paparazzi. Therefore I cannot 100% confirm that Rihanna has left the UK because frankly she could be hiding in my shed.

Highlighting why this sort of behaviour is going to make Rihanna deeply unpopular with some very violent people the UK capitalised on the confusion by delaying the Duchess of Cambridge’s flight to a personal appearance in Grimsby, UK due to ‘fog.’ The idea was to test out if the Russians had been able to get a radar lock on Rihanna’s plane as it left. Radar locks are becoming a big issue in the dispute between China and Japan over the Diaoyu/Senkaku islands. Clearly the UK would like more information.

Since then Rihanna has not Tweeted at all although I gather she has been active on Instagram. This rather childish behaviour is mainly for my benefit. By refusing to use Twitter Rihanna and her handlers are trying to force me to sign up to Instagram so I can follow her there. The problem is that Instagram doesn’t really work on Blackberry handsets. Therefore the next logical step would be for me to replace my phone (ideally the handlers are hoping for an iPhone). However this does not suit my objectives so I’ve been equally childishly refusing to sign up to Instagram just to make a point. However if this behaviour continues throughout the tour I might have to get around to it.

I have been hesitant to follow Rihanna on Instagram for another reason though. As you may have noticed since I’ve been following her on Twitter Rihanna’s Twitter use has altered especially as I try and tell her things she clearly doesn’t want to hear. Therefore I am cautious about having the same effect on another one of the ways she communicates with her fans. After all entropy is the failure to generate the heat required to sustain a mechanical process – a charge that has been levelled against Rihanna’s behaviour a lot recently.

There are significant problems with Rihanna’s use of Instagram though. Firstly Instagram is owned by Facebook which in turn is owned by the CIA. Therefore by asking foreign governments to look at Rihanna’s Instagram postings you are basically asking them to log onto a CIA computer system. In practical terms this doesn’t present much of a security risk but it’s just going to annoy people.

Secondly Instagram pictures are not photographs. Instead they are packages of digital data containing not just the image itself but lots of other information such as where and when the image was created and any manipulation it may have gone through. Apart from the fact it takes time and effort to decode this information can give away clues about the user’s mood and mental state. For example as I’m sure you’ve noticed when I’m stoned you’ll struggle to get my phone out of my hand but when I’m sober I can leave it alone for hours on end. During the Diamonds Tour the technical information contained in Rihanna’s Instagram pictures is likely to form the basis for lots of coded discussions about other things. Therefore people need to know. Also people who aren’t the CIA are not likely to be pleased by Rihanna’s efforts to get their impressionable youths to sign up to Instagram and share all this personal information with the CIA.

Thirdly Instagram pictures like I suppose all art are subject to interpretation. For example Rihanna recently posted a picture of her wearing an ankle bracelet she received as a birthday present. In a lot of cultures an ankle bracelet is used to signify that a woman is a prostitute. So by posting that picture Rihanna has posed a lot of question such as; does she not know about the significance of an ankle bracelet and was simply showing of a gift she is proud of? Or does she understand the significance and is calling herself a whore? Or does she understand the significance and is pointing out  that the person who gave her the gift was most likely attempting to insult her? While these sort of questions are great for gossip columnists it’s the sort of thing that’s going to waste the time of and therefore annoy grown-ups with proper jobs.

And I think I'm finally finished. Please do not expect this level of coverage after every concert.

21:10 on 7/3/13.

 


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