On the Climate Change Front.

Despite solar radiation being towards the lower end of this cycle 2012 was one of the hottest years on record to the point that Australia was forced to add a new colour to it's temperature maps to show how hot it got. Therefore we are still thinking that it's got something to do with those pesky greenhouse gases.

However northern Europe especially is experiencing one of it's latest and most snow filled winters in recent memory. The snow is obviously the result of the Arctic ice that has melted into water combining with low solar radiation (heat) to form snow. This may be evidence that the climate is re-balancing itself in accordance with solar cycles.

Basically lots of people are currently staring at lots of numbers on lots of computer screens and screaming; "What does it all mean!!" Amid this carnage the US is hoping that through stress some of those people will stare intently at Rihanna's tour in the hope of answering once and for all the eternal question of whether Rihanna's moods and Navy actually control the weather. So I suppose I should give you an update on Rihanna's mood;

The short answer is I've got no idea. However as she's just driven from Calgary (GMT+6) to Vancouver (GMT+7) I'm guessing a bit p*ssed off. What wouldn't have helped is that she had to stop off at a Walmart in Vancouver to buy supplies. I wasn't there but I suspect that Walmart was full of people going; "Oh look it's Rihanna (and her f*ck off big tour bus)"

The Walmart stop prompted the US to put out a story about a 4 year old girl who was shot and killed by another young child in the car. Why an unsupervised child under 10 was able to handle a loaded firearm in the first place is still under investigation. For added confusion this story could also be interpreted as a reference to the broadcast of Tandem's adaptation of "Labyrinth" on the UK's Channel 4. After all that featured lots of little girls shooting looks at each other.

For her part Rihanna's travelling companion Melissa Forde re-tweeted a request for re-tweets in support of the of Endometriosis Awareness Month (March).

If I was going to start a war over the upcoming patent case in India over the practice of 'evergreening' certain drugs to prevent cheap generic copies being made I would say that Endometriosis is a condition that effects only spoilt, rich American women.

However having looked it up on Wikipedia I now know that Endometriosis is an incredibly mild condition in which cells of the uterus or womb grow outside of the uterus or womb which can lead to intense period pains and occasionally pain whilst urinating. Essentially it's a glamorous and recurring urinary tract infection.

However all this talk of wombs and period pains must have felt like an annoying woodpecker hammering on Forde's head going; "Has Rihanna got her period yet?! Has Rihanna got her period yet?! Do you need to stop off at Walmart to buy Tampons?! Do you need to stop off at Walmart to buy Tampons?!"

Eventually Forde got over it and confirmed that they had indeed arrived in Vancouver and visited Walmart. However one of the people in Walmart had already forwarded pictures informing us all of that.

So as you may have noticed I'm getting progressively more drunk while writing this and feeling the need to state that I have between little and no interest in Rihanna's menstrual cycle. However I think Live Nation really need to sort out this reporting system before Morocco. After all you can expect no help from the locals and as with the attack on the Benghazi consulate it's probably best I know sooner rather than later.

23:50 on 31/3/13.