One Small Cloud.

Last night Rihanna posted an Instagram picture of her with her arm around a man she described as her "brother." Now this could have been her brother or the whole thing could have been an attempt to make Chris Brown jealous.

Overnight (around 04:00) I received a missed-call on my Blackberry. Rather then writing down the 0789 number I simply dismissed it with the phrase; "If that was an attempt to convince me that Rihanna called the prefix should really have matched the country she's in." As I then switched handsets I'll need to get my laptop out to recover the full number and frankly I can't be bothered. Not least because there's a high chance the number will have changed by then.

Then about 20 minutes before I woke up  unpredictibly early (approx 08:10 I woke up approx 08:30) Rihanna was back on Instagram/Twitter posting a series of pictures of her dead grandmother Dolly and mournful messages about how she'd been all crying on the anniversary of Dolly's birthday. As I haven't checked I believe that Dolly's birthday was indeed March 17th so this could all have been genuine and heartfelt. However it could also be interpreted as Chris Brown and Rihanna conspiring over the telephone to use that special hold they have over me to leap out of bed and explain the results of the opening race of the Formula 1 Season (the French speaker did very well).

Then police in Turkey claimed that they'd arrested the mysterious "Mr Z" wanted in connection with the US murder of US spy Sarai Sierra. Then the two high school students on trial in the Steubenville rape case were convicted of one count of rape (the insertion of fingers into the victim's vagina without her consent) and one count of distributing sexual images of a minor. As this was carried out in a juvenile court there was no jury so the verdict and sentence were passed by the judge alone. Both were sentenced to a year in juvenile detention for each offence with a possibility that they could be detained up to the age of 21 depending on the risk they are deemed to pose to society. As Trent Mays is 17 years old this means he could be held for up to 4 years while being 16 Ma'lik Richmond could be help for up to 5 years.

Although I wouldn't get too bogged down in the specific legal details (for example Chris Brown is not a juvenile) the spectacle of a Judge sitting alone handing down a sentence that severely restricts someone's liberty is alot like what we will expect to see the next time Brown arrives in Court. Therefore it certainly looks as though we're discussing what Chris Brown's bail conditions are to be pending his trial for a range of offences including perverting the course of justice.

So allow me to suggest;

As this is clearly an exceptional case (that some hope will set a precedent) it goes without saying that Chris Brown will not go within 1 mile of Rihanna's home or place of business. However he is also to be prevented from using any electronic means to attempt to contact her. That means that the court will make an order that his Twitter/Instagram/Facebook etc accounts are immediately closed. The court will also make an order that any cell phone companies of which Brown is known to be a customer of prevent him placing calls to Rihanna or cell phones within 1 mile of Rihanna's cell phone. The Court also makes an order that Brown is prevented from possessing or attempting to use a new or unregistered cell phone. Basically you do an Abu Qatada on him because while I'll need to flick through the Patriot Act again I'm pretty sure his actions constitute an act of terror. His actions in Cote D' Ivorie most certainly constitute a crime against humanity.

Personally I think these restrictions will be good for Brown. After all a long, hot summer should help to season him up for what's to come over the next 15-20 years.

17:05 on 17/3/13.