Operation Misery: Week 3, Day 1.

Although Rihanna's Chicago concert last night is still something of a mystery I am getting a clearer idea of what happened during her Detroit concert on Thursday (21/3/13).

Rihanna actually arrived on stage at around 21:50 (local) which although is technically 50 minutes later than the advertised start time it is well within the +/- 20 minutes of what should be considered the real 22:00 start time. Rihanna performed the standard set-list with the standard stage set-up and costume changes. The main accusation levelled against the concert is that it was a bit dull and both Rihanna and the crowd seemed subdued. However considering the warm-up to the concert I provided I think we can all appreciate that it would have been difficult for anyone to lift the mood. Therefore I will try and do my preview of the next phase of the tour in the gap between the final Brooklyn concert and the next concert.

Without access to much audio of either concerts I cannot tell how Rihanna's voice is doing. However the fact that no-one has felt the need to mention it suggests it's slowly improving rather than getting dramatically worse.

The big story from both Detroit and Chicago though was that Rihanna's support act A$AP Rocky was forced to cancel due to illness. This could have been faked to promote discussion about Rihanna's recent bout of illness and the debates that provoked about her voice. It could also have been faked to provoke discussion about whether the member of Rihanna's tour team who was caught in possession of marijuana has been kicked off the tour. After all that individual has still not been identified and Rihanna and Melissa Forde's Twitter argument about who brought the 'Ugg' into the Detroit dressing could certainly have been mis-interpreted as a coded reference to that. However as Twitter sniper quickly popped up to suggest that the 'Ugg' may in fact have been a 'Croc' (of sh*t) I doubt think anyone was fooled.

Mainly though I think it is just a simple case of A$AP Rocky actually being ill. After all this tour looks like it's going to be seriously heavy going. I mean I'm not even on it and it's making me feel unwell.

The big event of the last two days though has been Rihanna's trip to the Barrington High School in Chicago to meet the winners of the Diamond's video competition. For this Rihanna arrived a full four and a half hours late and stayed for precisely 12 minutes. During that time Rihanna was lectured on the school's extensive charitable works the highlights of which I thought were their fund-raising for the victims of the tornado that struck Joplin, Missouri in 2011 and the school's long-term work with residents of the Crow Creek Native American reservation in Dakota.

Joplin, Missouri of course shares it's name with Janis Joplin who is a member of the notorious 27 Club which everyone's worried about Rihanna joining. The female residents of the Crow Creek reservation will of course now be covered by the recently signed US Violence Against Women Act (VOWA). VOWA of course tackles the issues of domestic violence and abuse which how a lot of people think Rihanna will be joining the 27 Club.

Therefore the whole event had been intended to be interpreted as Barrington High School teaching Rihanna some much needed lessons. Not least amongst those lessons is how to behave during these sort of stage managed public appearance which are part and parcel of the diplomatic/ambassadorial role that Rihanna is being prepared for. In reality it was an attempt to put Rihanna through a thoroughly unpleasant experience in an effort to disrupt her concert that evening further angering her fans, reducing her fame and making it harder for Rihanna to refuse the diplomatic/ambassador role.

The events central theme of charity is a reference to one of the areas where people have suggested that Rihanna would be capable of so much more provided she sorts out her current car crash of a life. Take Rihanna's recent donation of around USD1.75m to the Queen Elizabeth hospital in Barbados. While I should point out that I don't have the full details and clearly no-one said no to the donation what appears to have happened is Rihanna has simply signed a cheque to buy three pieces of medical imaging equipment for the hospital. While the hospital clearly appreciates this equipment it does present them with the problems of having to provide electricity to run the equipment, service contracts to maintain the equipment and trained staff to operate the equipment and interpret the results. These things all cost money so unless the Rihanna and the hospital have carefully researched and assessed the impacts of the purchase it could have a negative impact on the hospital over the long-term.

Therefore on hearing the news of Rihanna's donation anyone who has worked in the financial, charitable, health-care or government sectors would have simply said; Rather than buying the equipment outright Rihanna should have donated the money to a charitable trust. That way it can be invested to produce a continuous dividend which would allow the hospital to provide better health care day after day long after the news of Rihanna's donation had been forgotten.

Of course dumping all this on Rihanna while she's on tour is only likely to make her more miserable rather than solve the problem. After all as she rushes on to Saint Paul's for tomorrow's (24/3/13) concert and then onto Canada it's unlikely Rihanna is going to be able to find the time to start interviewing fund managers.

The reason that we know what went on during Rihanna's trip to Barrington High School at all is in itself highly interesting. Initially Rihanna's CIA handlers had banned the media from the event. That ban though was then dramatically lifted meaning that not only were the media allowed to attend the event it was actually streamed live across the Internet. So while the official reason was traffic congestion the four and a half hour delay struck me as a plan being hastily re-written. After all it takes time to set up a live Internet stream.

The delay though did mean that the Barrington High School event clashed with my trip to the pub with my friend. Specifically it clashed with the period me and my friend were sitting a pub which continues to display emblems of the banned Loyalist Volunteer Force (LVF) terrorist group while there was something secretive going on in the function room upstairs involving members to that problematic local network. This combined with the discovery today of a car bomb in County Fermanagh, Northern Ireland is going to lead to a lot of people to conclude that Rihanna was being used as a distraction to allow the US and the UK to use the security threat to gang-up on the nation's attending the G8 Summit in June. It is though perhaps a little much to expect Rihanna personally to have been aware of that in advance.

The US were obviously hoping that the lifting of the Barrington media ban would be interpreted as a sign that they are going to co-operate with people like me for the rest of Rihanna's tour. However you will note they are still failing to provide the information that I've told them is essential in order for me to do my job. For her part Rihanna does seem to be making something of an effort by for example Tweeting out that she'd arrived in Chicago. It's still a bit hit and miss at the moment but I have to say that while what she's done makes me want to kiss her if Rihanna was looking for positive reinforcement from me yesterday really wasn't the best time to start.

Although I doubt it will assuming that this level of co-operation from Rihanna's CIA handlers continues with no concert today it seems and appropriate time to talk about how the rest of the tour will progress. Taking it as a given that rather then continuing to protect him the LA Courts will now be doing everything in their power to make Chris Brown a thing of Rihanna's past I vote that the tour should continue as advertised. That is to say the concerts that have already been announced go ahead. However no more dates will be added and there will be no more stunts like Barrington High School.

The only exceptions are Morocco and Turkey. These concerts have only been added to Rihanna's schedule for purely political purposes. As the recording of the Unapologetic album alone was highly political and deeply distasteful and the issues surrounding the Morocco and Turkey concerts being so inflammatory in areas like Syria Rihanna simply shouldn't be put through it. If the US wants to achieve it's diplomatic aims for the concerts I suggest they try using a qualified and experienced diplomat rather than someone who is still essentially just a messed up kid.

16:50 on 23/3/13.