The Falkland Islands Referendum.

Due to what can only be described as a Protestant circle jerk I am prevented from telling you the clean version of this story. So here's the blue version;

On Sunday (10/3/13) local. Monday (11/3/13) GMT the current residents of the Falkland/Las Malvinas Islands held a referendum to decide if they wanted to stay part of the United Kingdom (UK). In itself the concept of holding a referendum is highly controversial because in roughly 1833 the UK of Queen Victoria invaded the islands and expelled the local residents. They then proceeded to settle their own natives.

Therefore it is arguable that by accepting the results of the referendum we are setting a precedent that it is ok to invade a nation and claim it as your own. This has particular resonance with the current situation in which the Israelis have invaded the pre-1969 Palestinian terratories and continue to build settlements in an effort to permenately alter the demographics of the region.

More positively for the UK in 1998 Albania went broke so a lot of Albanians moved to Serbia. In 1999 these Albanians claimed the Kosovo region of Serbia to be an 'independent nation' and the United Nations (UN) led by the US and the UK not only accepted this but sent war planes to bomb the Serbs into submission. Well I say the UN accepted this. I believe it's still up for debate.

However considering themselves more British then the British the current residents of the Falkland Islands were always going to vote to remain part of the UK. As there's only about 1600 adults of voting age on the Islands they not only decided that they were going to vote to remain part of the UK they also decided they were going to create trouble for the rest of the world by getting a few of them to vote "No" to send a message to the European Union (EU) about Britain's independence. As a result the results of the Falkland Island's referendum are as follows;

Of 1,518 votes counted;

1,515 voted "Yes" (99.80%)

While

3 voted "No" (0.198%)

This has particular resonance in Kenya where apparently any consituency with 100% voter turnout has automatically been excluded from the initial (IEBC) results. While I'll agree that 100% voter turnout is suspicious. In what is considered an important election where the initial (IEBC) results show an 86% national turnout (not including excluded votes) this is not in itself evidence of fraud.

Therefore I contest that the Falkland Islands referendum was specifically planned to ensure that Uhuru Kenyatta would be elected President and proceed to rob the nation.

However as Kenya is part of the UK Commonwealth it would have been rude for the UK Queen to admit to this on Commonwealth day. So instead she decided to cancel her personal apperance at St Pauls for the Commonwealth, Church of England (CoE/Protestant) service. However you will notice that she was well enough to turn up later to sign the concept of 'Commonwealth' into 'law.'

Of course being a bunch of a*seholes rather than a bunch of c*nts the Falkland Islanders had already decided on their result by then.

And no the significance of snow on the M23 has not been lost on me.

02:55 0n 13/3/13.