Eurovision 2012: Sorry For the Delay.

On Saturday May 26th the grand final of the Eurovision Song Contest was held in Baku, Azerbaijan. The voting system used in Eurovision is notoriously complicated. All the participating nations (42 this year) award a total of 58 votes to their chosen songs/countries (obviously they can't vote for themselves). These votes are awarded in 10 blocks with 12 votes going to the first most popular song, 10 votes going to the second most popular song, 8 votes going to the third most popular song, 7 votes going to the fourth most popular song and so on all the way down to 1 vote for the tenth most popular song. 50% of which songs these votes go to comes from a public telephone/smstext poll with the other 50% being awarded by a secretive panel of judges appointed by the national government. Therefore simply having a good song that is popular with the public is not usually enough to win Eurovision on it's own. Personally I'm happy with that because it's not like we're picking the next President of Europe.

The 2012 contest was won by the Swedish entry "Euphoria" by Loreen. This slightly avant-garde dance track is actually top of the sales charts in five Eurovision countries so while it's not exactly to my taste it is really popular with large sections of the public so was always going to place in the top five. What drove it all the way to victory with by a 113 vote landslide was the host nation Azerbaijan's appalling human rights record which some international observers have described as non-existent. The way Azerbaijan treats homosexuals is a particular problem as they represent a large constituency among Eurovision participants and viewers. During the week building up to the grand final the Swedish entry Loreen gave a press interview in which she was very critical of Azerbaijan's government - something that normally carries a prison sentence in the country. Therefore there was something of a conspiracy amongst Eurovision participants to make sure that Loreen won so she could use her acceptance speech and victory performance to further criticise Azerbaijan's government. In the end the host ensured that this didn't happen by making sure that Loreen was manhandled by sound engineers and floor managers during her speech and terminating the broadcast before she was able to finished her victory performance. All in all quite an ugly end to Eurovision 2012.

Second place went to the Russia's delightfully surreal entry "Party for Everybody" by Buranovskyie Babushki. This featured six Russian grandmothers in traditional dress baking disco cakes on stage while singing along to a high-tempo dance track. The fact that this type of music is really popular especially in eastern Europe coupled with the fact it was impossible to watch without cracking a smile meant that Russia's entry was the public's favourite. The Babushki's back-story about how they'd survived the hardships of Stalin's rule was meant to counter Britain's appeal to eastern European grandmothers and show the European Union (EU) that they have nothing to fear from a Russia that has moved on from Soviet-era thinking. This seems to have worked with Russia attracting a lot of votes from established EU members by way of an apology for the pressure they've put on Russia over EU expansion and Syria. Of course Russia also attracted big votes from nations in their near abroad trying to convince their big enemy that they're actually friends.

The Serbian entry "Nije Ljubav Stvar" by Zeljko Joksimovic came third. As I explained on the night a large part of this was due to the fact was a slow love ballad which always do well at Eurovision. Beyond that there was a large sympathy vote for the way that the whole of Serbia has been treated - particularly by NATO - following the Bosnian war. Established EU members also gave Serbia a lot of votes to congratulate new President Tomislav Nikolic's new found pro-EU stance. Finally some of Serbia's traditional regional rivals like Croatia gave Serbia lots of votes in order to pretend they're friends.

Then there were the six automatic qualifiers for the grand final; Azerbaijan, France, Germany, Italy, Spain and the UK.

I think I've covered the UK entry Englebert Humperdinck in enough detail already in a post bearing his name. Of the rest Spain's entry "Quedate Comingo (Stay With Me)" by Pastor Soler was a simple love ballad designed to act as an appeal to the Eurozone not to forget the country during it's financial troubles. According to the latest news about Bankia this didn't work. Germany's entry "Standing Still" by Roman Lobb was a reminder to the Eurozone that the Europact is not up for re-negotiation. As in "I'm still standing by my earlier statement." France's entry "Echo (You & I) by Anggun was a totally non-political attempt to appeal to the gay constituency. The promo video featured handsome male dancers in military style uniforms that could be mistaken for both 1960's USSR army and 1960's French police uniforms which were a significant feature of 1968's Paris Spring. This created a sort of "echoes of history" theme that could be interpreted as France seconding Israel's warning to those promoting and participating in the Arab Spring. However in the stage act the uniforms were dropped in favour of topless male dancers so it's looks like France changed their mind at the last minute to avoid causing controversy while the new President finds his feet.

The Italian entry "La Amore E' Femmina (Out of Love)" by Nina Zilli looked like a desperate attempt to win at any cost in order to restore pride to a political class that has seen it's colourful Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi replaced at the insistence at pretty much everyone in the EU. The use of an established gay icon as a singer was designed to check the gay constituency off the list. The soft, easy-listening song was designed to check the Eurovision traditionalists off the list. The swing/big band touch to the song was meant to check the youngsters who listen to the likes of Amy Winehouse, Mark Ronson and British X-Factor finalist Marcus Collins off the list. The fact that Nina Zilli looks like one of the very attractive women that Berlusconi like to pack his Parliament with coupled with the out of love theme seemed to me to be a section of Italian society having a swipe at me and stating that they still support the Bristol Abuse Case. It didn't do them any good though, they finished 9th.

Azerbaijan's entry "When the Music Dies" by Sabina Babayeva seemed to be an open threat to their population. The message being that they shouldn't get used to the small freedoms they'd been granted during Eurovision because they'll be disappearing just as soon as the spotlight moves elsewhere. Therefore I think the effort to get Loreen to win bordered on the irresponsible. However I am glad that the politics are back because without them Eurovision is just a parade of 42 technically proficient but rather bland pop songs. In a country without the real and serious political problems that Azerbaijan faces there should be more then enough room for both.