Lord McAlpine: Too Easy.

In order to pour fuel on the flames of the Schofield list Conservative peer Lord McAlpine has today issued a strongly worded statement denying that he is a paedophile. Apart from dropping in some hints about Rolls Royce cars, Gold Cards, Harrods account cards and aftershave designed to remind everyone that Jimmy Savile is at the centre of the paedophile ring at the Wrexham children's home that spawned the Schofield list meaning that Savile is probably second only to the Crown in terms of running one of the largest paedophile rings in history McAlpine spoke heavily about the Conservative Party Home Secratery's statement to the Commons on the investigation. As that investigation is widely considered to be massive and blatant government cover-up citing his government colleague as proof of his innocence merely makes McAlpine look more guilty. In order to sweeten the pot McAlpine also commented at his frustration at "innuendo." As this can be pronounced to sound like "In-your-end-oh!" it won't be long until someone says; "McAlpine's sick of innuendo - imagine how the boys he's been buggering must feel." This of course will give McAlpine opportunity to sue people (probably Twitter users) for libel dragging the whole sorry saga out even further.

As for the Schofield list there's actually dozens of different versions doing the rounds. Most have been created and circulated by the government itself in order to promote discussion about whether the several thousand copies of my grandmother's case files that are doing the rounds are the same as the copy I'm looking at. I do hope they shut up before the COP/CMP though because that name "Al Capone" just keeps coming up doesn't it even though Brown will be doing a European headcount before shipping off to Africa to sell the nig nogs the Yanks version of events.

15:20 on 9/11/12.