Yes that's right I'm back from the pub to no obvious signs of break in but let's be honest that's not the story you want to hear from me right now.
This afternoon I decided to return three years of compliments and try to meet up with our dear queen. After arriving in the approximate area of London where Rihanna is staying I quickly realised two things. Firstly my stalking skills have grown somewhat rusty after years of non-use. Secondly I find that area of London really disorienting when I not surrounded by hundreds of riot police. However after having identified the correct address using information in the public domain I decided to waste two hours chasing down a dud lead (also public domain) that took me to that area where the Lily Allen incident happened. Having realised my mistake I made my way to the correct address and entered with a nod of recognition from the door staff. I proceeded to have a short conversation with the reception staff that led to them making a quick phonecall that returned a definite "No." I don't know how far up the chain of command that phonecall went but I hope it went to the top otherwise someone's just added themselves to the naughty list. Anyway I hope Rihanna is soon leaving the UK because since the riots trust me they do not have her best interests at heart.
On a related note my grandmother today moved back to Albany Lodge from Croydon University Hospital (CUH). Proving how bad my level of product on this story is the best I can say is that the nutrient drip was removed at some point yesterday (26/11/12). Therefore I've got £10 on her dying between 02:00 and 03:00 GMT on Saturday (1/12/12). However as a safety bet there is a good chance she's that stubborn she will simply refuse to die until she returns home to Wales.
20:20 on 27/11/12
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