The main thing I did today was was to phone up that non-governmental charity organisation to arrange a date for me to go and submit evidence to the investigation that already reached it conclusion on June 2nd.
Personally I'm a bit of a loss to see how the result of an investigation which failed to interview one of the three key witness could ever produce a result which is in anyway accurate but these people clearly have my best interests at heart so I phoned up the person arranging the investigation, incidentally she's also one of only three witnesses. I was hoping to tell her I would not be available on the suggested date of June 10th and we would need to arrange another one as June 10th is the date the Counter-Terrorism Bill 2008 is scheduled to be debated in Parliament although I suspect that is about to be changed.
Sadly though the woman in question, let's call her Cara was suddenly unavailable for a conversation she had herself requested. I would like to think that is because she and the other members of the board are now hurriedly shredding paper in an attempt to strike the results of the erroneous June 2nd meeting from the record. More realistically though suspect they've taken the news that they aren't quite the kings of the castle they thought they were like a kick in the balls and need a day to recover their egos before launching into yet another violent attack. Either that or they were all busy spending more of the councils money to boost their rather weak local PR exercise but that's pretty much the same thing really.
The other interesting issue of the day is yet another horror story coming out of Zimbabwe. This time the story is that Mugabe has told Non-Governmental Organisations to stop handing out food aid and thousands of people will now starve because of it.
This is nonsense because the human body can cope for a full six weeks without any food and Zimbabwe goes to the polls in just three weeks so it is highly unlikely that anyone, even the weakest will starve to death.
What the ban does mean though is that it will place restrictions on the movement of members of these mainly western Non-Governmental Organisations preventing them campaigning for the MDC. This is a reasonable constitutional concern because western governments have very strict rules to prevent foreign agencies intervening in their electoral process and I see no reason why Zimbabweans shouldn't be afforded the same protection especially as fat, white, American lesbians have this nasty habit of leading "spontaneous" protests of Zimbabwean women against the Mugabe regime.
Obviously these oh so easy to refute "horror stories" are being brought to my attention by MI6 in the hope that I will challenge them here on the Internet both making myself unpopular and convincing Mugabe that he has a friend in the west lulling him into a false sense of security.
I have to say that is a very good plan because it is in fact my plan, the one I instigated back in April 2008. Problem was that with MI6's mental light bulb glowing ever more dimly they called a halt to my plan and blew me out of the water. Now of course they've had two months to think it through and realise that yes my plan was good and their plan was shit they're trying to put it into place themselves. Sadly though two months have passed, the game has changed and they recently sent me a letter that my plans are not needed and they'd much rather continue in a kicking contest.
As the world can change in the blink of an eye or the stroke of a key the second I press enter to post this MI6 will change their tune and state that all of the above was in fact a feint and their real plan was for me to say all this so they could induce paranoia in the Mugabe regime which is strategically odd because when Mugabe's regime gets paranoid it gets violent and I think he's well aware he has very little to worry about.
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