Thursday 26 June 2008

The alrgest ethnic group in China is known as the Han Chinese.

Therefore if one group of Chinese people sell their business to another group of Chineses people you could say that it has "changed Hans" rather then the usual British expression "changed Hands". So even though it broke the Marx brothers three rules of comedy (No puns, No Puns and No puns!) I thought that was quite a good joke although if you have to explain it then I guess it's just not funny anymore.

Going back to the other point from yesterday the language of the metaphor's used are very important because by referring to me as a "criminal" and those who act against me as "witnesses" you are enforcing the mis-representation that I am doing something wrong and the Anna's and Sadie's of this world are acting for some nobler cause then simply lining their own pockets. So by doing this, far from helping, people are just making it far more difficult for the state to make the essential and unavoidable U-Turn they have ahead of them.

If anyone is still operating under the delusion that I have done something wrong then it seems like a good time to look at my list of alleged "crimes"

The Bush Visit, November 2003. Here I informed a police intelligence officer that there was a high possibility of serious public disorder at the demonstrations which accompanied the visit. Given the level of anger following the invasion of Iraq this was hardly an outrageous statement to make. As a response the police stepped up the policing of the event and no serious disorder occurred. Now while I'm not arrogant enough to suggest that this action should have been rewarded with a good citizen award I certainly don't think it warranted the death sentence which the state tried and failed to carry out the weekend of the Beslen massacre.

Live 8, July 2005. Here I passed a document that could have been entitled "How the Live 8 concert could descend into a riot." The result of this was that the police stepped up their security operation and no riot occurred. As no riot happened it would be very hard to argue that this was and act of conspiracy especially as my alleged co-conspirator was the Metropolitan Police.

Israel-Lebanon War, Summer 2006. Here I contacted a nation which has good links to Hezbollah and sent them a message the main body of which was, although I put it more diplomatically, that Hezbollah should cut that shit out. A phrase I believe I borrowed from a one Mr George W Bush. As a result Hezbollah agreed to the ceasefire and the war ended. I believe that Hezbollah have not attacked Israel since.

Iran Hostage Crisis, Spring 2007. Here I contacted the Iranian government and told them, in diplomatic terms, to give the sailors back. Iran listened and the sailors were returned 4 days later. No mean feat considering the sailors were in Iranian waters when they were captured. This can't be considered high treason because the UK and Iran were not at war at the time time. Nor can it be considered low treason because I only offered my private opinion rather then any UK state secret. If the British state have a problem with that incident then I believe there are still flights to Tehran available so they can return the sailors to Iranian custody anytime they like.

Then of course we have the Anna incident where, in the course of what we've all been assured was a free and fair contest, she attacked me with a weapon. Using a high degree of skill I turned that weapon back on her and she was killed in the course of her attack. Pretty much the same thing happened with Sadie and the only thing I have to regret from the incidents were their decision to attack me but I can't be held responsible for other peoples decisions.

If anyone feels they have something to add to the above list then there is, as always, a post comment button below and I suggest they use it because it is awful hard to show remorse for offences I'm not aware I committed.