If the central government grant to provide taxi Marshall's to hail cabs for Bristolians wasn't enough the council have just been awarded £100 million to teach it's citizens how to ride a bike. Apparently this all part of a green initiative to encourage people out of their cars which makes Bristol rather an odd place to trial it because it's always struck me as something of a pedestrian town.
Today my grandmother's gone to have a pre-surgery assessment. Normally this would be done at her local hospital but for some reason she's been shipped all the way to Epsom to test out one of those new fangled Polyclinic thingies. Well i suppose they did promise my father that if he served the British State the would provide the best for him and his family.
Speaking of my father he's gone with my grandmother and is currently more then a little stressed out because he's discovering that the allegedly generous pension he was provided after 30 years of loyal service to the state just isn't enough to cope with the current rise in prices.
All this has actually worked out quite well for me because it's given me the rarest of rare things - a bit of peace and quiet. With lots of heavy duty news stories floating around at the moment it only seems fair that I look at some of them in more detail but which one to choose?
With the Home Secretary talking about the case of Abu Qatada with more then a raised eyebrow (let him leave the country/don't let him leave the country?) I could talk about that or with more details of the female solider killed in Afghanistan coming out (she was involved in psy-ops apparently) there is certainly plenty to discuss. Instead however I am going to take the opportunity to discuss my adventures of the Waterloo to Ascot railway line in more detail because it's certainly topical.
I became very familiar with that route travelling up and down it over the hot summer of 2006 to visit my sister who was in hospital in Guilford. At the same time I was also running up and down between London and Brighton to help a friend deal with some of his more ill-advised lifestyle choices all while being in the process of moving house.
As if all this wasn't stressful enough it was all being done against the backdrop of the Israel - Lebanon war and the liquid bomb plots and the rail service was being a right arsehole with delayed trains, cancelled trains, trackside fires and power cuts. Events eventually came to a head on the day that the climate campers were marching on Drax, my sister had her ward round and those strange little men tried starting a fight with me on the train. I only mention all this because I would love to know how my favourite porcine princess was being allowed to prepared for what was always intended to be a free and fair fight.
Over a period of many days sitting more frequently standing on platforms I noticed two distinct headlines in the news papers; protests were being expected because of the Lebanon war and Al Qeda had been trying to blow up airliners flying from heathrow airport. This got me thinking that perhaps it would be a good idea if somehow the ant-war protesters and the Muslim Extremists could be brought closer together. It was a good job I had no way to act on these thoughts because it was clearly a criminal idea. Such a criminal idea that when MI5 finally got to hear about it they decided to nick it straight away and brought us the "Muslims Rise Against British Oppression!" demonstration. You may not have heard much about this protest because being an MI5 led operation it was shit and only about 15 people turned up.
In more up to date events today I got a letter from Business Links, a government run organisation based in Wooburn Green offering me a free guide to starting my own business. To me this sounds like a very expensive way for the tax payer to get me to re-read my A-Level business studies course but I sent off for it anyway because I'm especially looking forward to the chapter entitled; "How to stop the British State behaving like and aggressive, plagiarising fiasco."
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