Friday 27 July 2012

The Olympic Openening Ceremony.

Originally titled "Don't Mention the War." on 28/7/12.

Because here I'm going to write up my personal views of the 2012 Olympic opening ceremony. However at around 00:50 on 28/7/12 this may make take a few smoke breaks and a lot more alcohol. So be warned more words may appear here.

Like the games itself the opening ceremony was overwhelmed by war, nationalism and whoring. However I think the artistic director Danny Boyle coped well by setting out to tell the history of Britain from the start of the industrial revolution to the present day.

Taking a major historical liberty act 1 began with the start of the industrial revolution set at the start of the 1900's (20th Century). It started showing Britain's agricultural economy (our green and pleasant land) being ravaged by resource mining and the smoke stacks of industrial development. The key figure here was Kenneth Branagh playing Isambard Kingdom Brunel/generic 19th century industrialist. He recited lines from William Shakespeare's "The Tempest" which is a play about a man trapped on an island with a wizard who could control the weather. The management thought this would play well in African nations where witchcraft is still respected as a legitimate belief system. However what everybody in the cast, audience or anyone with at least some knowledge of science saw was a commentary about how the carbon dioxide released by burning coal causes climate change. A clear and only slightly justified swipe at China over climate change negotiations. Then suddenly the scene changed to young men from the villages happily marching to WW1 through fields of poppies while the women protested for the right to vote. This was really the end of the first act.

The second act centred around the formation of the National Health Service (NHS) at the end of the second world war featuring the swing tunes of the 1940's. As the cast featured staff and patients at the actual Great Ormond Streat Hospital for children (GOSH) which Peter Pan writer J.M. Barrie bequeathed the proceeds of said book to the management thought the sequence about the monsters attacking the patients was about the hard work doctors do to calm scared children. However everyone else thought it was about the "monsters" that currently threaten the NHS.

The third act covered everything that happened from the 1950's right up to the present day and explored everything that was wrong with modern society through a random and not strictly speaking linear selection of British pop hits. This was also designed to introduce you to Stratford and east London's multi-culturalism. Cited examples of what was wrong with modern society included technology, immigrants, paedophilia and the consensual sexualisation of children with other children - something that was blamed on the blacks. A major theme was warning the middle class parents of the area about keeping an eye on their children's house parties and or sex lives. During the course of the Olympics I think the paedophilia bit counts as a valid warning because we've got high level delegations from the Gulf Monarchies in and even by Islamic standards they can get a bit rapey. The sequence in which the young black male (an example of a dangerous dog) "found" the young black female's (an example of a dangerous bitch) phone could have been reference to a number of incidents in London gang culture in which young women have invited young men round for sex in order to lure them into their own murders. Primarily though it was a warning to Olympic visitors that Stratford can get a bit stabby. However as with any major global city aslong as you aren't wandering around showing off expensive possessions suchs iPhones, cameras etc whilst carrying a giant map that tells the world you're a tourist you probably won't get mugged. Of there is a much higher risk that you will be robbed by one of more most of the world's pickpockets. However with them you won't even noticed you're being robbed.

The fourth act was moment of silence to remember our fallen. Specifically this was a reference to the fact that the 2012 Olympics is the 30th anniversary of 11 Israeli athletes being killed at the 1972 Munich Olympics. Now whatever you think about the Jews this was indisputably the worst single loss of life that the Olympic family has suffered so I think it should have been marked. However since the death Muammer Qaddafi who allegedly funded the Black September terrorists who carried out the 1972 attack along with lots of other groups such as the Red Army Faction (RAF) in what was really the golden age of international terrorism and summed up rather well in the song "Tommy Gun" by " The Clash" dwelling on the Munich attacks directly would have been more distasteful then respectful. So instead Britain decided to present it as memorial to those who lost their lives in the Al Qaeda terrorist attacks that struck London on July 7th 2005 (7/7/05) - the day after London was awarded the 2012 Olympics. They did this by showing photographs of the dead on big screens while Scottish pop singer/micro-bology drop-out "Emile Sande" sang the hymn "Abide With Me" which is the hymn the British military have used to remember their dead since before WW1. Therefore it is musical shorthand for being prepared to die for the Monarch. Marking the Munich anniversary in this way was particulary provocative because Israel's now Prime Minister and then Finance Minister Benjamin Netanyahu narrowly avoided being caught up in the attacks following a warning from the Israeli Embassy. Although this only really demonstrates that the Israeli's send a lot of their time worrying about Islamic terrorism it has been used as "evidence" for a conspiracy theory that the 7/7 attacks were an Israeli false-flag attack. This point was driven home by the Pakistani/Arab Muslim dancers who performed on stage during the hymn. As "The Clash" are/were a really great British band and their lyrics may or may not form a code-base in discussions over Iran's nuclear program Britain would have loved to have had them perform at the opening ceremony. The only problem with that is the lead singer is now dead. So instead we got the lead singer of another famous British band "The Artic Monkeys" doing his best Joe Strummer impression in leather jacket and quiff during act 6 - the torch lighting ceremony.

Act 5 was the parade of nations which saw the teams enter the stadium beneath their national flag. Although the host nation gets to control things like the music that's played and what's happening in the background this is really a compulsory part of any Olympic opening ceremony and is generally the responsibility of the International Olympic Committee (IOC). This part of the ceremony is actually a significant part of how the IOC keep the Olympic myth going. Apart from the heart warming sight of amateur athletes clearly being over-excited by all the attention smaller and newer nations have long been told this is an opportunity to promote themselves on the world stage. Therefore there is always the risk of controversy as some nations may cross the line between making the rest of the world aware of their existence and ambush marketing. Recently Azerbaijan have been getting a reputation for this sort of thing. For example at the Euro2012 football tournament the Azerbaijani government spent a lot of money sending teams of representatives disguised as fans to make sure the Azerbaijani flag was prominently displayed during all of the matches. Although I actually spent the parade of nations trying to figure out how to react to the Critical Mass incident I gather the big controversy was a mystery woman who managed to join in with the Indian team. This was done by the host nation to promote discussion about the best ways to ensure that people who engage in ambush marketing are kept out of Olympic venues - a big part of protecting the branding of the Olympics. As to why they chose to pick on India in particular I'm not really sure.

Act 6 could be divided into two parts; the raising of the Olympic flag and the lighting of the Olympic cauldron. Although these are set events that the IOC demand must happen the local hosts are given almost total freedom in how they happen. One area the IOC had control over was the selection of the eight flag bearers who carried the Olympic flag into the stadium. These were;

  • Daniel Barenboim. An Argentine/Israeli pianist and classical music conductor who has been an active supporter of Palestinian rights and peace campaigner. Along with Palestinian academic Edward Said Barenboim formed the East-West Divan orchestra which brings young Israeli and Palestinian musicians together in an attempt to bring peace through understanding by bridging the cultural divide. Apart from showing the IOC's commitment to peace in the middle-east as an Argentinian and Israeli dual-national Barenboim's inclusion also seems to have been a reference the the bombing of an Israeli tourist bus in Bulgaria which occurred on the anniversary of the bombing of the Israeli Embassy in Argentina. Interestingly he also shares the same birthday as me.
  • Sally Becker. A British charity worker who headed "Operation Angel" charity which rescued Muslim women and children from the town of Mostar during the Bosnian war. As Operation Angel is one those British charities no-one's ever heard of let alone donated money too, has an anti-Serb bias and was instrumental in highlighting the suffering of Kosovar civilians which lead to the 1999 NATO attack on Serbia Becker is seen as a British government agent. Therefore her inclusion was to draw attention to Britain's role in the Bosnian and Kosovan wars which has obvious links to the Ratko Mladic trial and the situations in Libya and Syria.
  • Leymah Gbowee. The winner of the 2011 Nobel Peace Prize for her work in bringing an end to the second Liberian civil war Gbowee went on the spearhead the campaign to have former Liberian President Charles Taylor prosecuted under the slogan "Pray the Devil back to Hell" and campaigned for Ellen Johnson Sirleaf - Liberia and Africa's first female head of state. Therefore Gbowee's inclusion was to draw attention to women's rights in general and in Africa in particular. She also drew attention to Charles Taylor's recent conviction for war crimes committed during the civil war in Sierra Leone and possibly the difference between Tony Blair's and the Conservative British government which proceed his Labour government approaches to the conflict.
  • Haile Gabrselassie. A legendary Ethiopian marathon runner who also won two Olympic gold medals in the 10,000 metres and set some 27 world records Gabrselassie was included because he is/was a great Olympian and ambassador for the Olympics. He is also an ambassador for Britain's "G4S 4teens" scheme designed to get British teenagers involved in sport. Obviously that program is sponsored by ill-fated London 2012 security firm G4S.
  • Marina Silva. A Brazilian environmentalist who has won numerous awards for her work on environmental protection including being appointed a "UN Champion of the Earth" Silva is a member of the Brazilian Parliament representing the Green Party. As a political rival of Brazilian President Dilma Rousseff who attended the opening ceremony Ms Silva's inclusion caused some controversy in Brazil but I think she was included to represent the 2016 Olympic host Brazil and the environment rather then in a political capacity.
  • Ban Ki-moon. As the Secretary General of the United Nations I think Mr Ban's inclusion is rather self-explanatory.
  • Doreen Lawrence. The Jamaican born mother of murdered British teenager Stephen Lawrence Ms Lawrence was chosen to highlight the strong links between Britain and Caribbean islands such as Jamaica. It also seems to be a subtle little swipe at Britain's current Conservative government who were in power when Stephen Lawrence was killed and his murder covered up because it was the Labour government that launched an inquiry into the killing which eventually led to two of the killers being brought to justice. It was of course this Labour government that was in power when the IOC awarded Britain the 2012 games.
  • Shami Chakriabarti. A British lawyer Ms Chakriabarti is also the head of the "Liberty" campaign group which campaigns for civil liberties, prisoners rights and the right to protest. Liberty have in the past represented groups such as Critical Mass and although I will need to check I think that Ms Chakriabarti might have personally represented Critical Mass in some of their many court cases. Her inclusion was to emphasise the Olympic's commitment to human rights. The arrest of more then 150 people (an Olympic record) at a Critical Mass during the Olympic opening ceremony was Britain's way of making Ms Chakribariti's appearance that little bit more nerve wracking and showing it's opposition to human rights
Once the Olympic flag had been raised it was time for the lighting of the cauldron which the British hosts had full control over. As I've already explained rather then being lit by an individual the 2012 cauldron was lit by seven people in order to make sure that anyone who placed a bet on who would light the cauldron would lose their money. The seven individuals all lit an individual column which then rose up to form the cauldron. While they were on the ground these columns looked like wooden sticks giving the impression of bonfire such as one that would have been used to burn suspected witches being lit. This scene looked like many scenes from movies and TV shows which featured witches being burned at the stake. However the one it reminded me of was a scene in the TV show "Firefly" in which the character "Summer Glau" played was about to be burned at the stake on suspicion of being a witch. As I've been forced to get into "Firefly" in more detail then is healthy (I can name the Cantonese swearing consultant) I know that Summer Glau trained as a ballet dancer which is a similar discipline to rhythmic/artistic gymnastics and as a result her physicality is a large part of her performance. For example in one episode of "Firefly" which explored the notion of existentialism Glau's character is seen balancing barefoot on the handrails of a raised metal walkway not too dissimilar to the parallel bars used in gymnastics. Apparently this was known as the 'Batgirl shot.' In the weeks before the Olympics a Youtube video emerged showing a 2-3 year old British girl climbing up a doorway using just her bare feet that was dubbed the 'Spidergirl video.' I took this a sign that Britain intended to make Glau a target for the Olympics. I also heard some rumours from the Americans that the metaphorical knives would be out for her during the games but that could have just been a result of the Americans hearing the same rumours I'd been hearing. As one the main purposes of the opening ceremony was to showcase Britain's creative industries (the image manipulation in the James Bond/Queen sketch for example) bringing up "Firefly" was a mistake because it showed that most of Britain's most creative work such as "Dr Who" and "Luther" are actually just second rate rip-offs of what the USA was doing years before. This 'mistake' was a little protest by Britain's creative arts sector who have seen their budgets slashed to the bone through government cuts. The argument being that if they were given more money they could do better but I doubt it because things like "Dr Who" were made in the fat years before the credit crunch. For example the decision to only show the Olympic cauldron on a TV screen in a commentary about how we use TV for social 'warmth' is so adolescent it would have made an High School art teacher roll their eyes in boredom.

The show was closed by "Paul McCartney" performing the Beatles hit "Hey Jude." The idea of this was to calm everyone down as they prepared to leave and to remind the British TV viewers that it was very late at night (around 1AM) so they'd better be going to bed. Paul McCartney also performed Hey Jude at the Live 8 concert just days before Britain was awarded the 2012 Olympics back in 2005. It was around the 157th chorus that many people got the distinct impression that the Live 8 concert wasn't over-running by accident.


Edited at around 14:15 on 28/7/12 because I think we can all agree that this needs tidying up. However as China has already won the first gold medal of the 2012 Olympics and we're all trying to work out why that Swiss rider crashed on purpose in the men's road race I'm not sure how far I'll get. So far I've changed the title from "Don't Mention the War." to "The Olympic Opening Ceremony" to indicate that this should be viewed as a work in progress that will change, evolve and see some of the more sweary swear words disappear.

The first big area I should clarify is the second act which centred on the NHS and GOSH. Although the NHS wasn't formed until 1946 we did have hospitals in Britain before then. Those hospitals were entirely private enterprises which charged patients for their care and relied heavily on charitable donations such as the donation J.M Barrie made to GOSH. When the NHS was formed many of these private hospitals closed down but others such as GOSH and the Royal London in Whitechapel - close to the Olympic park - were absorbed into the NHS. As raising money to help sick children is an easy sell GOSH has more or less continued as a private hospital that sometimes treats NHS patients - an early example of a public private partnership. Therefore the sequence with the medics from GOSH protecting the sick children from the monsters was actually an attempt to generate support amongst the British public for the NHS reforms which will see all British hospitals follow the GOSH model. As such the sequence was intended to show how much better the medics are at GOSH.

Edited again at around 11:00 on 29/7/12. I also put in an edited at around 20:00 on 28/7/12 but forgot to make a note of it.

Edited again at around 20:15 on 29/7/12 to add to act 3 and correct my spelling because apparently I could "Branagh" correctly but I couldn't spell "Kenneth."

Edited at around 15:40 on 45/8/12 to sort out the Firefly comments. I'm sorry for doing this in the middle of the day but with TeamGB's Tom Stalker making it through to the Olympic boxing quarter-finals, police in Los Angeles hunting a Twitter stalker who threatened to kill Canadian actress "Ellen Page" and police in Oklahoma searching for an arsonist who burned down the town of "Luther" this is clearly starting to get a little bit out of control.

Edited at around 19:05 on 27/8/12.

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