The Lord Rennard Debarcle.

Currently in the UK the entire Liberal Democrat (LibDem) Party are being tarnished by allegations that's it's former Chief Treasurer Lord Rennard behaved "sexually inappropriately" (groped) a series of LibDem party members while the entire party tried to cover it up. Assuming this would have taken a couple of weeks to come to the boil Britain was hoping this would tie in with the entirely false allegations that Roman Catholic Cardinal Keith O'Brien had sex with adult men. This of course would have created a nasty mess at the upcoming Conclave to choose a new Roman Catholic Pope. As a result there will now be no British representative at the Papal Conclave.

Basically what is going on with the Rennard thing is that Chris Huhne's (LibDem) resignation following his conviction for perverting the course of justice has led to a by-election in his Eastleigh constituency on Thursday (28/2/13). Historically a swing seat between the Conservatives and the LibDems this election will see the two halfs of Britain's ruling coalition go head to head for really the first time since 2010. However the Crown's big worry is that the Conservative vote will be embarrassingly split with the anti-EU UK Independence Party (UKIP) meaning that the LibDems retain a seat rather then the Conservatives gaining a seat.

So in order to prevent this the Crown has dispatched Channel 4 News to mount an absolute hatchet job on the LibDems by uncovering and airing footage of women saying nasty things about the LibDems. This is a deliberate attempt to target women voters in Eastleigh because it's long been said that women voters have a problem with Conservative leader and Prime Minister David Cameron.

Under pressure the LibDems on Monday (25/2/13) responded to this firstly by trying to draw comparisons with the complaints I made against Enterprise House seemingly completely oblivious to the implications that has for Zimbabwe's upcoming referendum. Then they presented their Deputy Treasury minister Danny Alexander as their tough guy who finally stood up Lord Rennard. This is akin to admitting defeat because whether he's bravely standing up to Tory cuts at the Treasury or forcing Rennard to step down "enforcer" is never a word that has been associated with Danny Alexander or indeed any other LibDem.

Finally the LibDem's told the truth and accused Channel 4 News of purposefully trying to sabotage their chances at the Eastleigh By-election. Channel 4 News countered this by claiming that they'd gathered the interviews with Rennard's alleged victims way back in January 2013. After all it would have been completely  impossible to predict that Huhne would be convicted forcing a by-election all the way back then(!)

On a totally unrelated note I've just been watching the third and final episode of Charlie Brooker's "Black Mirror" on Channel 4. This episode was about a coarse and foul mouthed purple cartoon character with a tendency to whip his cartoon cock out called "Waldo" Starting life as a contributor to a satirical news show Waldo and the actor who voiced him was convinced to stand in a local by-election. He then goes on to fall in love with a female Labour candidate leading to lots of furtive references to forbidden love in party political conference hotels.

The show obviously featured caricatures of various TV people, advertising people and political people. I believe that "Ali G" and the "11 o'clock Show" which gave Ricky Gervais his big break were specifically referenced. The purple Waldo character was very much based on the animated character that sent the River Tan character a bit ninja in the film "Serenity." I believe that the BBC's "Question Time," "Newsnight" and "The Hour" also got a bit of a kicking. Waldo's 'Purple Party' was supposed to be a general commentary on the role right-wing and fascist parties such as UKIP and the British National Party (BNP) play in northern British Towns. For the purposes of this post I am considering Stockwell to be the dividing line between Britain's north and south.

In the end the actor voicing Waldo went a bit mental after a man from a US 'agency' (the CIA) offered to turn Waldo into a weapon used to rig elections the world over. Despite the actor quitting the Waldo brand went global. During the closing credits the actor was seen, along with all the other homeless, being cleared out from beneath a bridge by the fascist riot police while neon signs proclaimed our brave new capitalist world in both English and Chinese. This was really thumping home the Firefly/Serenity reference.

Fortunately this along with the fact the actor playing the actor behind the Waldo character looked a lot like the actor in the current BT Vision advertising campaign prompts me to tell you the story of how I accidentally started a little bit of a feud with the advertising agency behind the BT Vision campaigns.

The initial BT Vision campaign featured a single mother meeting a new man and the two of them using BT products to navigate the pitfalls of starting such a relationship such as introducing the kids and meeting the ex-husband. Then in what proved to be the final advert of the campaign the woman was seen lying in bed next to her new husband slowly stroking her tummy looking apprehensive. The implication being that she was pregnant. The advert then asked viewers to decide what happens next using various social media such as Facebook and Twitter.

It was around this time that I found myself in - shall we say - an accommodating bar. I then proceeded to launch into a very long, complicated an loud explanation of why I thought the twist in the BT Vision campaign was the women discovers she's got ovarian cancer. The couple and the children could then be seen to use BT products as they come to terms with the woman's cancer treatment and eventual death. I thought this would have worked but apparently BT Vision disagreed and the campaign suddenly ended.

The new BT Vision campaign has much the same theme of recurring characters. However the main character is a mature (over 25) student called Simon (my real name). Simon uses the super-fast download speeds of BT Vision broadband to lure a young attractive female student into a house share. He then proceeds to try and fail to have sex with her through a series of 'hilarious' adverts. The female student is played by an actress who looks a lot like a fat version of Summer Glau/River Tan. I haven't mentioned this before because frankly I feel like I earned that one.

Much more importantly then that though Black Mirror featured Christina Chong. As the name suggests she has Chinese ancestry but is completely white skinned. Therefore I don't so much have a crush on her as want to map her DNA. In fact I may have to promote her to my 'Albino wife.'

01:05 on 26/2/13.