Rihanna Update.

Because apparently this is my job now.

Following her trip to London, UK last weekend Rihanna has spent the week celebrating her birthday in Hawaii, US with Chris Brown. Although most of the heat has gone out of it the primary purpose of this trip was to get us all speculating about possible changes to the emotional state of the pair and the wider social group. To help the process along the US put on a series of stunts that they hoped would convince us were having an intense emotional impact.

The most of dramatic was these was Thursday's (21/2/13) shoot-out on the Las Vegas strip in which a Maserati was chased under fire by a black SUV before crashing into a Taxi cab killing the driver of the Maserati along with the Taxi driver and passenger. Apart from the speculation about whether I or Chris Brown was the Maserati/SUV this was primarily about the issue of Rihanna's security on tour by showing just how easy it is to kill people. When the identity of the Maserati driver was finally revealed as Kenny Cherry it emerged that he bore more then a passing resemblance to one of Chris Brown's bodyguards.

Also on Thursday a man named Carl Blue was executed in Texas for the 1994 murder of his girlfriend in a domestic violence incident. Apart from the obvious connections to the Rihanna/Chris Brown situation Beyonce and Jay-Z's daughter is named Blue Ivy.

Also on Thursday former Chicago police officer Drew Paterson was sentenced to 38 years in prison for the murder of his third wife in a domestic violence incident. Although the fact that in the past I've been likened to a police officer may have caused some confusion over who Paterson was a metaphor for this was supposed to look like a discussion about what punishment Chris Brown will have to serve. The fact that Paterson is something of a celebrity with a film having been made about his life was supposed to promote discussion about the way celebrities are treated in the eyes of the law. The sentence of 38 years is towards the high end of what Chris Brown can expect but for perverting the course of justice, fraud and all the other offences he'll be exceptionally lucky to be sentenced to less then 10 years. Although this debate was of course all a charade it does at least show a recognition on the part of the US that the debate has moved on from whether or not Chris Brown goes to prison to how long Chris Brown will go to prison for.

On the more personal level a man was apparently arrested on Thursday evening after breaking into Rihanna's LA home and rifling through her property while she was away. Apart from the fact having someone in your house without your permission is disconcerting to say the least this was primarily an attempt to re-visit the issue of the man who breached security at Rihanna's Barbados hotel over Christmas which of course could have been either me or Chris Brown. The fact that the man claims he was emailed instructions of how to break into Rihanna's home was supposed to promote discussion about my rather stalkerish knack of knowing things like what hotel she's staying in and when. It could also be an attempt to promote discussion about what Rihanna will have to do to bring me back on side. As Rihanna's next trip to London coincides with Kenya's much anticipated election she's going to have to call a few days in advance to make plans. In security terms at this point she may as well just call me on my public number as the first step in a process.


Of course the fact that the South Africans were happily piling on pressure of their own through the Oscar Pistorious case does rather underline that actually no-one's really that bothered about Rihanna's emotional state. Instead they see it as wholly the responsibility of the Judge and prosecutors in Chris Brown's case. They will either do the right thing or they won't.


18:10 on 23/2/13.

Edited at around 18:15 on 232/13 to make various changes because the hangover has only just started to settle in.

Edited again at around 23:20 on 23/2/13 to add;

Although the grounding of the F-35 fleet has implications for Syria it along with the withdrawal from sale of the Banksy piece "Slave Labour" and today's massive crash at Daytona are the US presenting their results from Rihanna's little test run to London. They're acknowledging that there are significant technical problems with their plans for the Diamonds tour and are hinting that it may be scrapped. As always we await verification.