What a Suprise. More Drama.

About 01:00 on Saturday morning I stepped outside to have a cigarette. As I was looking out across my quiet, suburban street I saw an idiot in a BMW doing burn-outs. That's when you spin your wheels while stationary to make lots of noise and smoke. If that wasn't stupid enough the guy lost control and scraped along the side of a parked car. He then parked up as if he was planning on fleeing the scene on foot. So obviously I went out to have a polite but firm conversation with him.

After we'd established that he was too drunk to be driving we debated whether or not he'd damaged the other car. After we'd established he had we debated whether or not he would like to leave his contact details so the owner of the other car could make a claim on his insurance. He felt that he wouldn't like to do that and when he realised that I felt I wouldn't be letting him leave until he did he threw a punch at me. That punch missed and he didn't get an opportunity to throw another one. After leaning over to check he didn't need an ambulance I noted down his licence number before going back inside because in my street we've long since given up on calling the police.

So apart for that happy Halloween which is today. Not Friday as the BBC have been [apologetically] trying to convince everyone in Britain.

US Mid-Term Elections

On November 2nd US citizens will go to the polls to choose a variety of state Judges, Representatives, Senator and Governors. This is hugely important because 2010 has been a census year. That means the first task facing these new politicians will be re-drawing the electoral boundaries in their state. This gives whichever party controls those state senates and governorships the opportunity to make sure wards where their support is the strongest are giving the most number of votes. This spectacularly named gerrymandering means that whoever wins the 2010 local elections effectively gets to choose the winner of the 2012 Presidential election without a single voter being asked.

While that's the campaign that Britain has been concentrating most of it's energies on the big battle that everyone will be watching is the national race for seats in the nation House of Representatives and the national Senate. Here candidates have spent endless hours and huge amounts of money fighting for a single two year term of office. So it's with some regret that I have to tell them that it's all been a huge waste of time.

You see back in the year 2000 the Governor of Florida made a huge mistake and elected George W Bush as President. Bush went on to make many, many mistakes of his own including two that had catastrophic consequences for the United States.

The first of these was to rise to Al Queda's bait and respond to the September 11th terrorists attacks by invading Afghanistan. That war is now entering it's tenth year costing trillions of dollars and hundreds of American lives. I wouldn't go so far as to say America is losing it but it certainly can't win while Hamid Karzai remains in power. As it's difficult to remove Karzai that means America is going to be chained to that war until 2015 at the earliest.

The second of Bush's huge mistakes was to fail to monitor the banking industry. This allowed a word wide credit bubble to form with people lending lots of money they didn't have to people who could never afford to repay it. When this bubble finally burst in the summer of 2008 the shock wave was enough to cause the capitalist system that has served the western world for thousands of years to virtually implode. The only way to prevent this was for governments around the world, America's included, to borrow more money to prop up the banks and prevent their economies from grinding to a complete halt. While these stimulus measures were enough to protect the average American for anywhere near the full horrors of the economic crisis it did leave the country with a long recession and a slightly larger national debt. As a result it will be 2012/2013 before anybody will be able to get the American economy back on track.

With these two problems still casting a major shadow over America until 2012 at the earliest American politic is in a sort of limbo meaning that it doesn't really matter whether the Republicans of the Democrats control Congress.

The big worry I have is that the Tea Party candidates will actually do quite well in this election because I actually quite like a lot of what they stand for. The problem is that they're not particularly well funded or have much experience of Washington politics. Plus we know as a fact that at least one of them isn't actually a witch. These are all the sort of things that are going to put them at a massive disadvantage in a world of spin doctors, lobbyists and special interest groups. So the worry is that while the Tea Party may go to Washington with all the best intentions they will fail miserably once they get there and in doing so discredit the values they represent. That would be a real shame for America because there are plenty in the world who would happily do away with Tea Party values like individual responsibility and respect for others because those values are simply not "progressive."

Sorry I Woke Up.

Today I've been busy. First I faxed a formal request for the statutory nuisance judgement to Croydon Magistrate's Court.

Secondly I faxed a request for the following information to Marson's, Presentation Housing Association's lawyers;

• A full floor plan of the property.

• The names of all tenants who have occupied the property between 1/1/07 and present.

• Copies of all tenancy agreements between Presentation and those tenants.

• A detailed description of how past tenants came to vacate the property. This includes copies of all written warnings and legal notices served.

• The last known address of any past tenants.

• Copies of all contracts between Presentation and their managing agents Croydon Association for Young Single Homeless (CAYSH).

• Copies of all correspondence between Presentation or CAYSH and Croydon council, the police, the fire service and the ambulance service.

Finally I hand served a 21 day statutory nuisance notification on the rear, ground floor occupant of 50 Beechwood Avenue. The clears the way for me to have them homeless and penniless just in time for Christmas. I know that sounds harsh but to cause them as much stress as possible CAYSH having been telling the occupants that the only way they can stay in the property is by not using electric lights, TV's, radios etc. The occupants have actually believed them so clearly something needs to be done.

I think we can all guess which of these three options will pay off first. So that's poor people fighting amongst themselves, David Cameron must be positively erect with excitement right about now.

Yeah I'm Still Alive.

I'm sorry but I didn't fall sick to the cholera. That's because I followed three simple rules;

1. Boil all water before using. That includes washing.

2. Don't eat raw fish, meat or vegetables.

3. Wash your hands as often as possible with soap and boiled water.


These rules also apply in Indonesia. There a volcano erupted causing a big earthquake off shore. That earthquake brought a whole ton of sea water ashore onto arable farmland. We are monitoring the situation but if only 500 died then today has been a good day.

Cholera in Haiti

While everyone's been playing Zionist fantasy the inevitable has happened with Haiti experiencing it's first major Cholera outbreak in over 100 years.

So far the outbreak has been confined to the northern, rural area around Antibonte. Here there have been some 2700 confirmed case of the bacterial infection that causes vomiting and diarrhoea. This has caused over 210 deaths. The most worrying development it 5 cases of the disease have appeared in the capital Port-au-Prince. If the disease is able to take hold in the shanty towns and makeshift refugee camps that litter this urban area we could easily be looking at 1000+ deaths by the end of the week.

Medical agencies in the country have dealt with Cholera many times before and seem prepared for an outbreak. However Haitians are advised to boil all water before use. Not to eat raw vegetables and to wash their hands as often as possible with soap and water.

On the plus side the outbreak does provide the perfect opportunity to cancel the country's upcoming election. This is a really good idea because would allow the current government to stay in place giving Haiti the political stability it desperately needs to unlock its trust fund and finally start re-building after January's earthquake.

Ha, Ha Soup!

Because winter has certainly arrived in Croydon.

I've spent today making a series of telephone calls regarding this statutory nuisance business. The first was to Croydon Magistrates Court for a copy of their judgement that explains the legal basis for their decision. You know, that one that doesn't appear to exist. The Courts response could best be described as obstructive. Although the lead Magistrate verbally agreed to the provision of this document on the day no-one appears to have informed the clerical staff. Therefore they feel the request needs to be re-made in writing and a fee may need to be paid.

The second call was to Marstons, the firm of solicitors represents Presentation Housing Assocation. On the day their representative stated that Presentation were happy to provide me with information on the tenants of number 50. Today was just a preliminary enquiry to establish that the offer was still open. That is something that Marstons will now have to contact their clients to confirm. I honestly don't know how their going to respond but if they're being sensible they'll keep the offer open because the alternative is obtaining court orders to compel them to provide that information. This will end up costing them a fortune.

So in summary this nuisance matter is so far from over that I actually have a range of options to choose from. Of course one of these options is to do nothing because as you may have noticed social housing is fast becoming a big issue in UK politics.

In other news British Airways are in retreat mode in their dispute with cabin crew. At the moment it looks as if Unite the Union are going to bottle it by ending the strike in return for the reinstatement of travel perks. The removal of these perks was something that happened during the dispute rather then the cause of the dispute. Personally I would never end a dispute on those terms but ultimately it's something for the cabin crew to decide.

Now if anyone needs me I'm going to send the rest of the day getting stoned and re-watching Firefly because I don't see why I should be the only one to put down childish things.

News From Mexico.

This morning the Mexican army destroyed 100 tonnes of cannabis.

This afternoon the were hit with an earthquake.

So they have been warned.

More From the Court of Protection.

I've just received another letter from the COP. It's the exact same as the letter they sent me last Wednesday, just another copy of the order that an oral hearing has been called for November 3rd. I'm taking this repetition as indication that the Brits are still confident that this is the road they want to walk down.

This copy did include a list of frequently asked questions. This indicates that possibly the information I handed over to them on Tuesday (19/10) should have been on a COP9 form rather then a COP24 although there's nothing in statute to support that opinion.

Obviously it will be near impossible for me to download a COP9 form from the Internet and I'll have to waste another day sending it in so I'm not sure I'll bother. If though I do I'm very tempted to also request that the Judge removes himself from the case due to obvious incompetence and a temporary injunction is granted against the use of the LPA's until such a time as the COP has come to terms with the fact it is going to have to act as a court of law.

In other news the big bad CIA are continuing to f*** up the Pakistan situation.

The Comprehensive Spending Review.

Today (20/10) the UK Chancellor, George Osborne announced the results of the government's Comprehensive Spending Review. As the name suggests this is an comprehensive review of the UK government's spending. It was billed as the moment the government would announce all the spending cuts that would reduce the national deficit and save the British economy. What we got was a political performance that was more concerned with preserving the central state and it's Conservative ideology then economic responsibility. This began over the last couple of days with ministers and civil servants leaking horror stories of 500,000 government workers losing their jobs and Whitehall departments having their budgets cut by 25%. So when it was announced today that those government employees only may lose their jobs over the next five years and departments like the Ministry of Justice and the Home Office would only see their budgets cut by 6% suddenly it didn't seem so bad.

Obviously a cut of 6% to a department like the Home Office is not an insignificant figure. However the main bulk of the cuts will be borne by local government departments at council level rather then national government departments at Whitehall level. While the spending review made an extra £2bn available to fund social care local councils have seen the block grants they receive to pay for things like schools, hospitals and refuse collection etc cut by 27% . Under the terms of the Conservatives "Big Society" these councils are also being asked to massively increase the amount of the services they provide substantially increasing the amount of political blame they're going to receive for any cuts to services. So I guess the full slogan for the Big Society policy is; "We're all in this together but some of us are more in it then others!"

This shifting of blame is also the principle behind the policy of allowing GP's/Family doctors rather then NHS managers to procure treatment for their patients. On the face of it this sounds like a really good idea after all who better to decide what treatment a patient needs then a fully qualified doctor? The problem is though that while deciding what treatment a patient needs is a medical problem getting that treatment to the patient is an administration problem. Most doctors didn't spend five years at medical school training to be glorified call centre clerks. Therefore the idea of the policy is that as GP's struggle to negotiate the bureaucracy fewer patients will receive the care they need cutting NHS spending without the government having to admit that it's cutting NHS spending. Of course the Conservative Party's corporate donors will love the policy because as NHS care becomes harder and harder to access those who can afford to will take refuge in private health care providers.

By far the area hit hardest by the spending review is social welfare spending including pensions. The big saving being made here comes from an accountancy trick. The government is changing the measure of inflation it uses to determine payment increases from the Retail Price Index (RPI) to the Consumer Price Index (CPI). Unlike RPI CPI doesn't take into account mortgage payments. As only a minority of people actually have mortgages CPI is considered to be the better measure of inflation. However the reason the government have switched to CPI is that is gives a lower figure. This simple change should save the government £6bn, more then half the £11bn they're cutting from the welfare bill. Of course the increase in prices of things like regulated train fares will still be calculated using RPI.

The rest of the savings in the welfare bill will come from restricting access to welfare payments. The state retirement age will increase to 66 years old for both men and women. This represents another year of work for men and another six years of work for women. The myriad of unemployment, sickness and tax credit benefits will be replaced by a single "Universal Benefit." The exact details of this new system are yet to be released but from what we do know the objective of the change will be to reduce the number of claimants rather then improve the way the system works. Also the government has gone to great pains to avoid announcing that it is phasing out social or council housing. Existing social housing tenants will see no changes. However new tenants will face having their eligibility to live in social housing re-assessed every five years and their rents will now be pegged to 80% of the market rate. Along with the changes to Housing Benefit that were announced in the emergency budget this change could have catastrophic effects if the housing market doesn't behave as predicted leading to tens of thousands of the poorest in society being forced into homelessness.

There is also a strong political aspect to the cuts to the Ministry of Justice and the BBC.

The Ministry of Justice is a big and expensive department which is responsible for all the Courts, the probation service and the prisons which simply devour money. This poses a difficult question over which of it's responsibilities will bear the 6% cut to it's budget. Obviously public safety dictates that it can't come from the prisons, the probation service or the criminal courts. That means the majority of cuts will come from the lesser used courts such as the Supreme Court, Employment Tribunals and the County Courts. These function to resolve civil and financial disputes like debt recovery and issues like a local council's duty to house homeless people. With cuts to all services and local councils being put under immense pressure by central government the number of these types of disputes is likely to rise massively increasing the workload of these courts. Along with the cuts to Legal Aid that have already being announced cutting the budgets of these types of courts is going further reduce peoples access to the law and the rights afforded to them by the law.

As for the BBC it is basically funded by a £150 per customer, per year subscription fee, known as the license fee, which is set by the government. As an act of generosity the Labour government stepped in and announced that it would be paying this fee on behalf of all pensioners over the age of 75. Today the Conservative government announced that it would no longer be doing this. However it also told the BBC that it would no longer be able to charge over 75's this fee. This means that the BBC gets a huge hole in it's budget while the government gets to pretend that it is still helping the over 75's. Added to the news in the strategic defense review that the cost of the BBC's World Service will now have to be met by the BBC rather then the Foreign Office this leaves the BBC's budget very stretched. The idea being that with viewers still demanding big entertainment shows the BBC's news output will have to be cut reducing it's ability to inform the public and hold the government to account. It also increases the likelihood that the BBC will soon be broken up with the profitable parts of the business being sold to Murdoch's NewsCorp and the unprofitable parts of the business disappearing altogether.

The Comprehensive Spending Review was certainly very comprehensive so there are still lots of details and figures I need to look at. However it doesn't appear as though it's gone anywhere near far enough to act as a deficit reduction plan. That means we can expect to see yet more tax increases and spending cuts as the recovery plan is tweaked in coming budgets.

Here's an Exciting Story.

Today I got on a train and sat down for 40 minutes. I then got off the train and handed a man at the COP an envelope. I then turned on my heels and sat on a another train for another 40 minutes.

While I was doing this I completely missed the British Strategic Defence Review which is basically the budget for the UK armed forces. However from what I can gather the armed forces got off lightly.

The two big bits of news are firstly that UK forces will be withdrawing their tank divisions from Germany. The hope is that they will relocated to bases in the UK giving the government the ability to pay for those bases. Secondly that the Navy's Harrier attack jets will be phased out leaving the UK without the ability to launch air attacks from the sea. This is really not news because since about 2003 the Navy has been unable to launch air attacks from the sea because all their Harriers have been lent to the RAF in Afghanistan.

In better news for the armed forces the Special Forces and the Secret Intelligence Services (SIS/MI6) have actually seen their budgets increased with the SIS boosted by the news that they will now longer have to fund the BBC's World Service but will still retain full editorial control.

Tomorrow (20/10) we're awaiting the Comprehensive Spending Review to find out how badly the civilian population are going to get raped to pay for all this.

Aren't They So Cute When They Sulk.

I'm currently attempting to fill in this COP24 Witness Statement that I'll deliver to the Court of Protection tomorrow. I say attempting because their website doesn't seem to want to let me.

So I guess that means I'll just have to fill out one of the multiple template forms I've got by hand. Anyway what I'm going to write on that form is;

"While I'm not sure that this is the correct way to do so I have to raise my serious concerns at the Courts decision to hold an oral hearing in this case. To my mind the case is dependent on a point of procedure. Therefore it could easily be resolved by an assessment of the paper evidence. Further more by calling myself and L.T Bowden to a long hearing in central London the Court will be depriving D.M Bowden of care and supervision for a period of up to six hours. Since the registration of the LPA's there has been a significant deterioration in Mrs Bowden's condition so I am concerned this deprivation could have a significant impact on her health if not life.

While it is not the role of the Court to act as a mediation service I appreciate that the Court may find an assessment of the personalities involved useful in making its decision. Therefore rather then holding an oral hearing it might be a better idea for the Court to send and special visitor to meet with myself, Mr Bowden and Mrs Bowden in the home. This has the added advantage of allowing the Court to consider Mrs Bowden's situation and point of view in it's decision.

I should also point out that the fact that Mrs Bowden was detained by the police on the day she signed the LPA's should be a recorded in the police's own logs. I did not make this call and it was not made from my phone. I am also currently in dispute with the local police of the repeated failure to investigate burglary's at the address. Therefore I am unable to obtain copies of those logs myself. However if the Court feels it requires those records the 999 call was made from [telephone number] at around 09:30 on November 26th 2009."

I'll agree that does sound as though I'm telling the Court how to do it's job which is a little bit rude. However if they can't work it out for themselves then sadly someone has to tell them. The biggest concern is that the Court will now delay the proceedings even further while these police logs are sort out. As they support my case though the Court probably won't bother before returning a verdict that has no basis in law or justice.

The Crude Awakening

This was the name given to the Climate Change demonstration held in London on Saturday October 16th.

On the well funded call out potential demonstrators were told to choose from one of four protest blocs and register their choice with the organisers via a cellphone SMS service weeks in advance. On the day they were told to congregate at one of four major London train stations with an Oyster Card which is a sort of electronic train ticket. From there they would be sent an SMS message with the location of their chosen protest. The expectation being that four, separate large scale demonstrations would take place simultaneously at multiple locations across the city. In reality all four groups were told to make their way via the London Underground to Essex where they blockaded and oil depot with limited success. During the demonstration no arrests were made and the organisers were quick to claim that they'd outwitted the police by getting them to prepare for a demonstration in central London when it actually took place in Essex.

While it's true that they may have outwitted the police for about an hour what really happened was that they allowed the Brits to send the message to the Mexican hosts of the COP16 Summit that protesters were intent on disrupting the summit. Those protesters will fit the profile of reasonably wealthy students or young professionals who will gain access via either media organisations or NGO's attached to delegations from Less Economically Developed Countries. This puts pressure on the Mexicans to increase the security vetting of accredited delegates and boost the level of security searches at the venue. In Copenhagen such a high level of security itself managed to cause massive disruption to the summit with many delegates missing meetings and plenary sessions because they were stuck in seemingly endless queues at security check-points.

I'm not sure how the Mexican's will respond because one thing that clear from the demonstration is that even if the Climate Change demonstrators had the ideological intent to disrupt the summit they lack the capability to do so.

I'm Dying.

Technically that's true. However it might ever so slightly overstate the severity of the sore throat I've been suffering from the last couple of days.

It's gone now but is officially the most exciting thing that's happened to me this weekend.

I'm Sorry for the Delay.

But my shoulder is still injured. That meant today I had to go out and get some tape to fix it. Applying micropore tape to your own, dominant shoulder is really quite difficult. So difficult in fact that it very nearly makes me wish I had a pretty, young physiotherapy student to compare notes with.

Only nearly though because all that effort also gives me a great excuse for not commenting on the X-Factor/Gamu story earlier. The other is that I would have to start by explaining what the X-Factor is. So let's just say that there is a really popular talent show on British TV called the X-Factor.

On or around October 5th the Brits decided to cash in on that popularity by threatening to deport one fo the failed but hugely popular contestants, a Zimbabwean teenager called Gamu Nhengu. This was done for a variety of reasons;

1. To cause disruption to the Tianjin COP 16 meeting.

2. To undermine support for my statutory nuisance proceedings by falsely claiming that it would lead to the girls at number 50 Beechwood Avenue to be made homeless.

3. To start a dialogue between central government and Croydon Council over the issue of a Asylum Seekers. Croydon is the first port of call for all Asylum Seekers entering the UK.

4. To open dialogue with and heap pressure upon Robert Mugabe and Zimbabwe's Government of National Unity (GNU). I don't think Robert Mugabe needs me to tell him how to respond.


Elsewhere I should point out that with General Petraeus in London to discuss the Linda Norgrove death and the Chilean President visiting David Cameron on Monday (18/10) the Chilean miners story is still most certainly in play. It is the security run through for the COP 16 Summit in Mexico. Everything seems to be just fine security wise. The next British play will come tomorrow (16/10) in the form of the Crude Awakening climate change protest in London. Here the British are aiming for a two for one that also manages to wipe out the UK climate change movement. For that reason I most certainly won't be attending.

I've also bee watching DVD copies of a US TV show called "Firefly." Normally I don't do Sci-Fi but large sections of the media universe seem to revolve around the fact I've seen this particular piece of mind-bending Sci-Fi. I'm only up to episode three and so far it's just a lot of Summer Glau crying in the corner.

I'm Here and I'm Drunk.

So I should confirm that my grandmother does have a mouse running about her house.

I've been trying to avoid sharing this story for about a week now because in all seriousness we've got the little bugger surrounded and are attempting to negotiate the terms of his exit. As part of this process we've determined that the only two ways he could have entered the property is by being dropped down the chimney or being brought in through the front door by one of the many human visitors.

So if you think you've been having a bad couple of days try having a tr-party negotiation with my grandmother and father on this issue without using the phrase;

"Well you shouldn't have killed the fucking cat that then should you."

Just Had Dinner With My Mother.

And you'll never guess what. She's been having a really bad week.

Her doctor (GP) has decided that she's got a thyroid problem that is the exact opposite of my father's thyroid problem. This means that she has to have almost daily blood tests in north London before driving to her job at a hospital in south London. With the Blackwall tunnel closed this is more then a little bit annoying.

Personally I think it's all a big attempt by the state to get her to register with a GP in south London so the entire family can be slaughtered within the bowels of hell currently known as Croydon. However my mother used it as the excuse not to tell me that she has a pretty, young female student temporarily living in her apartment. The gay community are supporting this because they think that if they deliver a ready made girlfriend to my door I'll forget about the kidnapping and rape of my wife. The student herself thinks that she's on a training exercise that will help her get a future job possibly as a physiotherapist for British Olympic team. This made me feel really old.

So in a very bad mood my mother and I went out for dinner. Her attempts to soothe the situation by talking endlessly about the Commonwealth games the 2012 Olympics and those damn Chilean minors did nothing to improve the situation. Then the alcohol kicked in so we decided to call it a draw with long and pointless story about pets.

In the meantime I did learn that my shoulder injury is indeed the exact same injury that kept Tom Daley out of the European Diving Championships. As I'm sure you'll agree that's just weird.

Quick Clarification.

I've previously stated that the only way that my application can be thrown out by the Court of Protection is by the Judge accepting that an error occurred but using their discretion to rule that error as not relevant to the outcome.

I've now re-read the Mental Capacity Act 2005 and the relevant section; Schedule 1, Part 3, Section 18 (a) states;

"The court MUST direct the Public Guardian to cancel the registration of an instrument as a lasting power of attorney if it—

(a)determines under section 22(2)(a) that a requirement for creating the power was not met,"

The use of the word "Must" means that if the Court finds that an error has occurred they cannot use their discretion to overlook that error. There is an absolute outside chance that the Court may rule that an error hasn't occurred but the way proceedings have been carried out would indicate that the occurrence of an error is a matter of indisputable fact.


Therefore the legal position is even more clear then I originally thought. On November 3rd 2010 the Court of Protection has no option other then to revoke the Lasting Powers of Attorney.

Legal Drama.

I can confirm that Senior Judge Lush at the Court of Protection (COP) has been drinking again. He's sent out another order of direction which was the delivered in the form of a single copy addressed to both me and my father in order to cause maximum distress.

The first part orders that if either party wishes to submit further evidence they should do so on the appropriate COP24 form 16:00 on Friday October 19th 2010. This should be viewed as a final attempt by the Court to encourage me to broaden the scope of the case by going into some rant about my grandmother's medical treatment.

Secondly it orders that an oral hearing shall take place at the COP on Wednesday November 3rd at 14:00 with an expected duration of two hours. This is an indication that the Brits have lost their nerve about holding a hearing during the COP16 Summit. Instead they've timed the hearing to coincide with my brother's visit to Germany. The purpose of that visit is to belatedly appease the Germans over my brother's summer trip to India and China. By throwing the COP hearing into the mix they're trying to dress it up as an extra apology.

In response I'll just draw the Judges attention to the fact that because the case is purely based on a point of law an oral hearing is most unorthodox. In this case it is especially inappropriate because it will deprive an elderly and vulnerable person of care and supervision for a period of up to six hours. I will then suggest that if the Judge feels he needs to speak to the parties in the case it would be better for the court to assign a special visitor. This will have the added advantage of allowing them to also speak to my grandmother.

Elsewhere I've been reading up on the UK Supreme Court. The two things I've learnt is that it is very new and only rules on the most complex issues of civil law. Therefore it's only handed down about 60 rulings since it's inception in October 2009. I've read every single one of those rulings and not one of them has any relevance to the case in front of Croydon Magistrates Court yesterday. I have also received a copy of the Judgement from the Court in that case and it reads simply: "We write to confirm that the court dismissed the case and awarded no costs." That would indicate that they can't cite precedent either. This goes along with my impression of a lay Magistrate being confused by a man in a shiny suit.

Of course that man in the shiny suit could have mistakenly referenced the Supreme Court when he meant it's predecessor the Law Lords. However at the time of writing it would appear that not only was the case thrown out on a legal technicality it was thrown out on a legal technicality that doesn't even exist.

£20,000.

That is how much I stood to lose in fees today should the lead and centre Magistrate have found against me. I'm sure you'll agree that it takes a moment for me to process that figure before I explain to you how it came to be.

So the defence barrister stood up and said: "I've been advised by my clients to seek costs. At this time I have no schedule as to what these costs will be." Then there was a long silence and the lead Magistrate said to me: "Mr Bowden?!" So I stood up and said: "I have nothing more to say. It's just further proof of his company's malicious intent. But that's not a legal argument so I'll just mumble something while I find and excuse for sitting down." Then there was a pause and then the Magistrate looked directly at me and said; "No Costs."

Apart from that England lost 0-0 and Wales got battered 4-1 by the Swiss. I think I should explain that the OT and the physiotherapist that will be visiting my grandmother tomorrow are from the St Leonards outpatient falls clinic. Therefore they are not technically members of my mother staff.

Dinner Went OK.

The first area for discussion was to OT and her suggestion that we should buy a very expensive new chair for my grandmother. I felt as an alternative suggestion my father could not have thrown out the very similar chair that my grandmother already owned. I feel I won that discussion but my father will have a further discussion with the physiotherapist tomorrow.

The second area of discussion was my visit to court today. While my father is very proud of my performance he has got one eye on the upcoming Court of Protection (COP) business. That meant he was a little alarmed to discover that not only have I been to Court before I been there in that seat behind the plexiglass that screams "six months in prison." I have to admit that I am quite worried about him now because I seriously think that if he carries on like he is he could soon find himself detained under section 2 of the mental health act.

So as an alternative we're both going to try to pretend that we both still support England while we watch the football.' It's currently 0-0 but I think another line may kill me.

Blimey It's All Go 'Round Here.

Apart from my antics this week has also seen the unveiling of the councils grand plan from my grandmother. And quite frankly it's not worth the hype.

Yesterday (11/10) just after my grandmother's personal care nurse, Linda had finished a district nurse visited to take my grandmother's blood pressure. She determined that like everyone else in the street my grandmother is suffering from high blood pressure. Today (12/10) and Occupational Therapist came round to carry out an assessment. Whilst dreaming of the day she becomes a proper physiotherapist she determined that my grandmother is suffering from balance problems and recommended that she buys a firm, high backed chair with sturdy armrests. Tomorrow(13/10) a physiotherapist will visit and diagnose my grandmother as suffering from balance problems due to muscle weakness and joint pain. She will then refer my grandmother to an occupational therapist.

The most important development though is the decision to take my grandmother off the drug Warfarin. This is an anti-coagulant prescribed to manage atrial-fibrillation (AF). As this AF is the cornerstone of the dementia diagnosis they couldn't leave this "very serious" condition untreated for too long. Therefore they have replaced the Warfarin with a 2.5mg daily dose of Felodipine which is a calcium antagonistic which I will have to get my biomedical head on to research thoroughly. However from a quick reading of the packaging I can tell that it will react badly with the buprenorphine AND cause dizziness, fainting, restless sleep and increased joint pain. In my opinion then it has only been prescribed to cause side effects that mimic dementia symptoms while gathering data on the role of cardigenic shock in vascular dementia. For a million points can anyone out there remember the first part of the Hippocratic oath?

For my next trick I will discussing all this with my father over dinner at the pub. I wouldn't like to hazard a guess as to how that's going to go.

Result.

Today I have been in Croydon Magistrates Court over this statutory nuisance business. Even with the Court being put on a heightened level of security this still managed to be a very formal affair. The case was heard in front of a three Magistrates in courtroom number 8. Despite all this finery the proceedings were probably best described as an absolute shambles. Firstly neither the Magistrates or the Clerk had any of the relevant paperwork. They then proceeded to ignore the fact that the wrong summons had been sent to the wrong people and hear the case anyway. After that it started to go down hill.

Presentation Housing Association were represented by Marsons Solicitors (SDA/000814-0019) who had appointed a Barrister to act on their behalf. This barrister going by the first name Saddiq was a very accomplished performer who used to be a government solicitor. I can only speculate that he used to work at the Department for Energy and Climate Change alongside Ravi Gurumurhty, a director at the company. He made much of the fact that the summons should have been sent to either CAYSH or the residents of number 50 rather then the company he was representing. Although this was also my opening argument the Magistrates threw out the case on two technicalities;

Firstly that the owners of a property cannot be held responsible for the behaviour of their tenants as per a (very) recent and unspecified ruling by the Supreme Court (Law Lords). Secondly that the notice was not provided within the parameters set out in Section 82 of the act. Presentation then made an order for costs and the Magistrate told them to go away. So no costs were awarded.

I requested a copy of the Judgement that should shed more light on this mysterious Supreme Court ruling but for today that's a loss. Guess how drunk I'm going to be getting tonight.

Still Nothing From the Magistrates.

Called them twice over the errors in their summons and there was still no answer. That means the problem will have to be raised in writing with them tomorrow. Just for the record the definition of nuisance I'll be using is the common law definition as used the the Housing Act 1996. As this is a housing matter that's the most relevant statute and as it's the definition referenced in the Anti-Social Behaviour Act 2003 it is one that a Magistrates Court should be familiar with.

Meanwhile my case is prepared and ready to go tomorrow should the defence be happy to answer an allegation that was not on the summons. I doubt this will happen because while it would be very funny for them to walk into Court thinking their mates at the Court had managed to help them avoid a charge only to discover they hadn't it won't be considered very fair on them.

On a related note I should point out that while it would be helpful if I could get hold of a copy of then tenancy agreements used at number 50 I suspect there are four, individual assured shorthold tenancies. That means that this proceeding will have absolutely no impact on the tenants right to be housed by the local authority and should clear the way for them to claim damages for the way they've been treated.

Ho Hum.

It turns out that the telephone call I received on Friday wasn't from Croydon Magistrates Court. It was just a sales call.

Today I did phone the Magistrates Court and guess what. They're not answering thier phone. It's almost as if they don't want to play this game anymore. Of course I'll try again later but it looks as though I'll have to explain their summons error in writing. As the Court date is set for tomorrow I'll have to deliver that letter in person at the start of the hearing. The case will then be adjourned while the correct summons is issued and I'll bill the defence for another 6 hours.

That Was A Long Week.

For the past six days delegates have been meeting in Tainjin, China for the final preparatory session for the 16th Conference of Parties (COP16) Summit to tackle Global Warming and Climate Change. Put simply the purpose of the meeting was to get all parties to agree on what they're going to argue about at the COP16 Summit. If you remember how the COP15 Summit ended you will understand that this was a very tense meeting with the two World superpowers, USA and China squaring up to each other on a range of issues that have absolutely nothing to do with the environment or Climate Change. The situation was made even more tense by the fact that the Chinese held a home advantage.

As you can probably tell from the tide of toxic red sludge that is currently engulfing parts of Europe the early indications are that the American delegation took an almighty kicking at the hands of the Chinese delegation.

There are a variety of reasons why the Chinese were able to outmanoeuvre the Americans including the fact that the Americans have allowed themselves to become overstretched by these counterproductive Middle East peace talks. However the main reason the Chinese were able to take advantage is the difference in the two nations approach to Climate Change. The Chinese took a long hard look at the problem and concluded that based on the available scientific facts that it is more likely then not that human activity is causing Global Warming and that warming is causing Climate Change. As a result the Chinese have dedicated a lot of time and money to improve their understanding of climate science and technological solutions to reduce greenhouse gas emissions and mitigate the effects of Climate Change. In contrast the Americans have approached the issue with the attitude that America's economic and geo-political strategy means that Climate Change quite simply cannot be true regardless of what the science says. As a result the Americans have concentrated their efforts on politically discrediting climate science and using global talks such as these as a way to further their geo-political agenda rather find possible solutions to Climate Change.

This shortfall in knowledge has placed America at a massive disadvantage to China in the COP process and left them in the untenable diplomatic position of trying to insist that China allows American scientists access to verify Chinese emissions cuts while refusing to make any cuts of its own. This does not bode well for the COP16 Summit which is a real shame because it is being held during a very exciting time in climate science which could see the Global Warming debate settled once and for all.

Shoulder Update.

Because I know you care. I've decided that my shoulder injury is a ligament injury rather then a muscle injury. These normally take weeks rather then days to heal properly. So instead of waiting for it heal fully I've been doing some light cardio-work in the hope it won't slow down the healing process.

In much less important news the UK Labour Party have announced they're a party without shame by today naming their shadow cabinet. Although they haven't realised it yet the Labour Party are now the UK's third political party behind the Conservatives and the Liberal Democrats. However they still get the opportunity to showboat for the gallery at Prime Minister's Question time. To this end their cabinet is the mix of the good and the so bad it looks like an MI5 stitch-up.

Of the good we have Ed Balls and Yvette Cooper as Home Secretary and Foreign Secretary respectively. These are the joint third most important cabinet positions behind the shadow Prime Minister, Ed Miliband. Ed Balls was a lot of peoples choice for the party leader. Making him Home Secretary keeps him within the leadership circle without putting him in a position where he would overshadow the leader. As his opposite number is Teresa May there is also a slight possibility that he will damage his reputation by being seen to overly attack a woman. Apart from being a very capable politician in her own right Yvette Cooper is also Ed Ball's wife. By making her Foreign Secretary she is also kept within the leadership circle and acts as open barrier between her husband and foreign diplomats.

Of the bad we have Alan Johnson as shadow Chancellor which is the second most important cabinet position behind the shadow Prime Minister. Alan Johnson is not so much a Union man as a man who worked his way up into politics through the trade union movement. Unfortunately he knows very little about economics but his sparring with George Osborne on behalf of the trade unions over the coming cuts should be good value. We also have Sadiq Kahn as Justice Minister which is probably the fourth must important position although the hierarchy starts to break down after Foreign Secretary. The Justice Secretary covers Prisons along aspects of Policing and National Security. Mr Khan is a Muslim. The perceived threat to British national security is from Muslim extremists and as such there are plenty of Muslims in British Prisons. Mr Khan looks like he's going to have a very interesting time in his new job.

I also got a call on my mobile phone. I couldn't be bothered to answer and haven't even checked. However I presume it's from Croydon Magistrates Court and therefore can wait until Monday.

Ok I Snapped

And phoned the Magistrates Court this morning. Obviously there was no response but I've left a message.

The problem I wished to draw to their attention is in the wording of the summons. It reads;

Between "4/3/2010 and 10/6/2010 [Presentation Housing Association] has been responsible for a statutory nuisance under section 79(1)(g) under the Environmental Protection Act 1990, namely noise emanating from the following premises...."

It should read;

Between "1/1/2007 and 10/6/2010 [Presentation Housing Association] has been responsible for a statutory nuisance under sections 79(1)(g&h) of the Environmental Protection Act 1990, namely noise and other acts that cause inconvenience or damage to the public in the exercise in rights common to all emanating from the following premises..."

Although it doesn't sound like much this is an important mistake and it indicates the that Magistrates Court doesn't know that the common law definition of nuisance has been codified into statute by various Criminal Law and Criminal Justice Acts over the years. Alternatively they were hoping that I didn't know. Either way my billable hours have just shot up.

In other news Liu Xiaobo has been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. He was nominated for his role of the Charter 8 petition which called on the Chinese government to recognise Universal Rights, that is rights afforded to every individual by birth. This runs completely contrary to Chinese governments principle that the individual only exists as part of the collective and therefore the rights of the individual are secondary to the wishes of the majority. For this Liu Xiaobo is currently serving an 11 year sentence in a Chinese prison. As Universal Rights are the fundamental difference between the USA and China the award is seen as a pro-American choice.

Something I Never Thought I'd Say.

I'm pleased to announce that today I received a Court Summons. It's the one from Croydon Magistrates Court over this nuisance matter. The small problem is that it is only a summons for a noise nuisance offence rather then the broader nuisance offence which has been (allegedly) committed. This could be a deliberate attempt to reduce the maximum punishment the Court will be able to impose by reducing the severity of the offence. However it's more likely to just be a mistake by a Court which is inexperienced in prosecuting this type of offence. Either way I'll give them a call and sort it out on Monday.

Speaking of Monday today we also got a call from the Queens Road team. Apparently they will be implementing my grandmother's treatment plan on Monday. No-one in my household knows what this plan entails or indeed that a plan was being hatched so I guess we'll all find out on Monday.

As for my grandmother she has apparently fallen and is trapped within the 2.5cm underneath her bed. As she informed me of this by screaming it outside my back door which is a good 20m away from her bed I have my doubts as to the truth of this story. It's almost as if someone in Britain felt there was a shortage of drama today.

That Was a Headache.

All day I've been getting these missed calls on my mobile phone. I could tell from the number that they were from the post-court department at Croydon Magistrates Court but without a voicemail message I couldn't tell what they wanted. Trying to sort out this little mystery meant that I almost missed David Cameron's speech to the Conservative Party conference. I did eventually find out that all they wanted to tell me was that they're posting out my copy of the summons today and reconfirm that the Court date is set for October 12th. Really that was something that just could've been done by voicemail.

As for David Cameron's speech I have to admit that I sort of drifted in and out before getting really bored and going to the shops. However the main aim of the speech seemed to be to win over party members who are still not convinced by David Cameron and his decision to go into coalition with the LibDems. Mr Cameron attempted this by informing the conference that Conservative Party idol, Marget Thatcher would be celebrating her next birthday in 10 Downing street before going to remind the delegates that he had a wife and children which plays to the core Conservative belief in family values. He then relived the celebration of the election before indulging in some light Labour bashing in order to inspire passion amongst the party activists. He ended by reminding the conference of the grave economic situation the country is in before invoking the language of war time leaders like Winston Churchill and Lord Kitchener. This was done firstly in an attempt to make the Labour Party the owners of any coming spending cuts. Secondly it was done to quell dissent in his own party by creating a wartime culture where criticism of the leader is a seen as an act of treason that aids the enemy.

Update

I have now received an email response from the Court of Protection. Although written by someone giving their name as Toyin Owolabi it's the standard call centre brush off and quite frankly an auto-response would have been more informative. It claims that the file has been referred to Senior Judge Lush and the matter is in his in tray. Basically what the author has done is take the words in my email and then send them back to me in a slightly different order.

In more interesting news I've learned that the Doctor who saw my grandmother has recommend that she is taken off warfarin pending consultation with the specialist who has prescribed the warfarin. This is big news. You see warfarin is a blood thinner prescribed to treat atrial fibrillation. This atrial fibrillation is the cornerstone of my grandmothers vascular dementia diagnosis. By taking her off the warfarin the doctor is basically declaring the the vascular dementia diagnosis is a crock of shit.

Speaking of crocks of shit "Republican Dissidents" set off a car bomb in Londonderry, Northern Ireland last night. I think it's obvious to anyone in the trade that these "Republican Dissidents" aren't members of the Provisional IRA, the Real IRA or even the Continuity IRA. They're just a small cell of a maximum of 20 really dumb people. The only reason they haven't all been arrested by now is because the cell leader is an MI5 man.

An Action Packed Day

In the sense that technically every breath is an individual action.

After I'd confirmed the Magistrate Court date a GP from my grandmother's surgery made a house call. This was arranged by my father presumably to show off my grandmother's head injury. The doctor was not actually my grandmother's GP but rather a junior doctor from my grandmother's practice. As usual I wasn't present during the consultation but I gather that the doctor raised the same questions about my grandmother's care that I've been asking for years. Obviously he doesn't have the authority to make any changes himself but he may now raise those questions with my my grandmother's GP who is effectively his boss.

I then called the Court of Protection and spent a good twenty minutes on hold before giving up without my call being answered. So I emailed them instead. All I wanted to do was confirm that Senior Judge Lush's order of direction had been complied with by the September 20th deadline and there was no outstanding paperwork to delay the case. Assuming that confirmation could be given I wanted to know if a possible court date had been set or whether the case was still in the queue awaiting a Judge. Officially this is done randomly on a first come first served basis. More realistically though I suspect this particular case will be held up until say the end of November or the start of December.

I then went to see my GP. By some bad luck he had not one but two medical students shadowing him which was not conducive to a full psychiatric assessment but I had my prescription renewed as usual. I suppose I should point out that if the Court of Protection want to request a medical report on me all they will learn is that I've been discharged from psychiatric care and my condition is being managed by a GP with appointments every two months. This is hardly evidence of acute psychiatric illness so it's probably best they don't waste everyone's time.

The Magistrate Court Date Has Been Confirmed.

It's set for Tuesday October 12th at 14:00. I'm still awaiting my copy of the summonses that have been sent. However as I more or less wrote them it shouldn't be much of a problem if they don't turn up.

I suppose I should now add nagging the Court of Protection to a very busy afternoon that already includes a visit from my grandmother's General Practitioner and me making a visit to my GP.

Conservative Party Conference

Drawing to a close a typically dull political conference season Britain's governing Conservative Party are holding their conference in Birmingham until October 6th. The main purpose of the conference is to float vague and non-specific policy proposals in a final attempt to see what the British public will tolerate ahead of the comprehensive spending review on October 20th. So far there have only really been two highlights. Boris Johnson's speech and the conference stage itself.

Boris Johnson's speech was an exercise in toe curling, scripted spontaneity. The London Mayor began by apologising to Londoners for the current Tube strike that his transport policy has caused before announcing that only three bicycles had been stolen from his flagship bicycle hire scheme. He compared this to the 500 that have been stolen from a similar scheme in Paris. This led to Johnson mocking the "light-fingered Parisians" and generally insulting the French, always a crowd pleaser at Conservative Party conferences. He went on the explain that the lower level of crime in London was entirely due to his boosting of police patrol numbers by allowing police officers to patrol on their own rather then in pairs. Then in an agonising moment, in which you could see the cogs of his brain turn, he looked at his script and with obvious fake surprise reminded the conference that he'd forgotten to tell them what had happened to those three bicycles. They had been recovered Johnson announced triumphantly. Not only that the culprits had been caught and were awaiting "due processes" [sic]. Johnson then announced that rather then waiting for the Courts Transport for London had already removed the accused's free travel perks and offered them the chance to earn them back through community service because "That is the Conservative way!" So there you have it London's Mayor, nothing more then a comedy turn at party conference and not a very good one at that.

By far the most interesting thing about the conference though is the conference stage itself because it's a wonderful example of committee thinking. Some of you may remember that when David Cameron took over as leader the Conservative Party changed their logo from a sort of Greco-Roman torch. It was replaced by a child-like drawing of a tree which some commentators described as looking like a green scribble and was meant to represent a more caring, sharing Conservative Party. At this conference that logo has been changed again. The almost impressionist green leaves of the tree have been replaced by a sharper image showing the colours of Britain's Union Jack flag. It is presented at the end of three horizontal lines which give the impression of movement from left to right as they gradually change colour from green to blue. This backdrop is designed to send the message that now elected the Conservative Party will be doing away with left-wing environmentalism in favour of right-wing nationalism. The former advertising man in David Cameron agreed to the design in the belief that forcing delegates to stare at it for four days would help encourage them to move back to the centre ground. So in one image you have Britain's new political reality. David Cameron is now the left-wing counterbalance to the very right-wing Monarchy and military.

Just Phoned the Magistrates Court

Over this nuisance matter. I wanted to confirm they'd received the evidence I submitted to the on September 21st and confirm that the date of the hearing is still set for October 12th. As it's now past lunchtime most of their staff had left for the day. The person I did speak to had no idea what was going on but did give me the number of someone who might know whats going on but I'll have to call them tomorrow.

I suspect the Court is still working under the belief that if they ignore this it will all go away. It won't so I suggest that when I call tomorrow I get a better response.

This is Weird Right?

As I've already mentioned my grandmother bruised her face on Friday. My father spent most of Saturday taking photographs of her injuries. Now I could sort of understand this if he was collecting evidence to show to the Court or whatever but he's not. He's been doing this for years because he just wants to record the happy event in much the same way take photographs of weddings and birthday's.

Also I'm not sure if I mentioned it but I've properly injured my shoulder. It's strange because I must have done it weeks ago and not noticed. It's only now that I've rested that it's started being painful. While I'm sure it's neither permanent or life threatening it's bloody annoying and means I probably won't be able to go back the gym this week either.

I Have a Confession to Make.

I have been shopping. Because if you can't wear a nice brown boot with a smart blue jean in the winter then what has become of our world.

I also brought two CDs. Our younger readers may not remember these but they're like downloads only there's about 14 of them and they come on these special little silver discs. The number of tracks chosen and the order on which they appear on the album is the responsibility of a producer and some of these can be especially talented. The Specials self titled debut album produced by Elvis Costello is a particular case in point.

The first of the two albums I brought, from this thing called a "record shop" was Guns and Roses Use Your Illusion 2. This was actually one of the first records I ever brought back in 1994. Sadly my now defunct cat took objection to it and scored a massive scratch across the second half of the disc. Having grown up and brought a replacement I can't help but feel my cat was right.

The second album I brought was Johnny Cash's When the Man Comes around. Although published in the same style this wasn't actually released until about 10 year after the American Recording sessions. Judging by the enhanced CD I would say that it was released just before the great mans death and just after the Joaquin Phoenix film begun production. While it contains the fag ends of the Viper Room days I made my name on Sept 12th 2001 so it's feasible.

A Lovely Day For A Guiness.

But a terrible day for anything else. The weather around me today has been a horrid mix of persistent, heavy rain and gusty winds. To make matters worse there was a failed Coup in Ecuador overnight.

Personally I'm going to blame it all on Wyclef Jean. Whoever backed him to stand for President of Haiti did so in order to promote discussion about Haiti's constitution. This would have inevitably lead to a wider discussion about the School of the Americas. For those who don't know this was an important part of the CIA's foreign policy during the 1980's and is still very controversial throughout parts of South America to this day. I think that it is a discussion that needs to be had but I was going to wait until after Haiti's General Election.

Elsewhere in my world my grandmother had a fall overnight. As a result she suffered minor lacerations to the scalp and bruising to the right orbital bone. This is now something of a routine injury for her and I find it hard to be shocked by it. After all it is all part of the plan and if the Court of Protection only had access to the official version of events it might get the impression that I've been knocking her about.

Also while I'm here I should tell the South African trade unions to accept the 7.5% offer. If I dedicated more time to the problem I pretty sure I could come up with an argument why they should only accept five. After all the nation didn't so much win the World Cup as survive it.