Britain's Stolen Election. (part 1)

Back in March 2009 Britain was in economic and political turmoil. Where everyone saw misery the British Crown saw opportunity. The opportunity to expel the Labour Party, whom they hate, from government and replace them with a government led by David Cameron, the Queen's fifth cousin.

As Israel's, then, recent attempts to form a coalition government had caused the Crown endless headaches it was decided that Britain's new government would be a coalition government As Britain likes to pretend that it is a democratic country obviously the Crown couldn't just send in the troops to remove Gordon Brown from Downing Street. Instead multiple and complicated plans were put in place to ensure that the 2010 General Election would result in a Conservative government with a few Liberal Democrat's thrown in to act as human shields.

As with all plans of this scale and complexity they set out to achieve multiple objectives. For reasons of clarity here I will only attempt to explain them as they relate to the General Election.

Break the Political Status Quo.

Traditionally British politics is a two party game with the Conservative party and the Labour part alternating majority governments. This makes it near impossible for an election to result in a hung Parliament or coalition government. So in order to achieve that result the Crown first had to destroy the public's faith in the established political order. This was done through the MP's Expenses Scandal. Once the public heard that all the existing MP's from all the main political parties had been ripping off the public for years there was universal disgust and calls to do away with the lot of them. This prompted a huge surge in public interest in minor political parties like the British National Party (BNP), the party that best reflects the worldview of the British Crown.

Bash Brown.

As the main purpose of this, for want of a better term, military coup was to depose Gordon Brown and the Labour party a lot of effort went into making them look bad. Given the state of the country that shouldn't have been too difficult but the Crown still created a few extra scandals just to make sure their point got across. As the military have been a major driving force in these efforts the majority of these scandals were designed to portray Brown as the man who had betrayed Britain's heroic armed forces. This included military figures of all ranks and some Coroner's blaming Brown for all the equipment shortages in Iraq and Afghanistan even though, for the past forty years, the Ministry of Defence have been legendary for buying all the wrong equipment and constantly going over budget. There were also numerous incidents where Brown was accused of either ignoring the families of British soldiers killed in combat or writing them poorly written letters that showed barely a moments thought.

The most significant of these military scandals though was the Ghurka's campaign. Here Brown and the Labour party were put in an impossible situation. They could either prevent the Ghurka's from living in the UK and get accused of betraying those who are prepared to lay down their lives for Britain. Alternatively they could allow the Ghurka's along with hundreds of thousands of Iraqi's and Afghan's to move to the UK and get accused of letting immigration run out of control and contribute to the Islamification of Britain. While I think the Labour party actually handled the Ghurka campaign quite well the public didn't see it that way and the damage to their reputation was done. A few months ago, in a spectacular display of arrogance, the same military figures who had called for the Ghurka's to be allowed to live in Britain even tried to accuse Labour of betraying the Ghurka's by allowing them to live in the UK.

Although the MP's expenses scandal damaged Parliament as a whole it did the most damage to the Labour party. In part this is because any political scandal gets blamed on the government and the Prime Minister even if it has nothing to do with him or his party. Also it is easier for a person who is struggling to pay their mortgage to get angry about a Labour MP fiddling their mortgage payments then it is to get angry about a Conservative MP claiming to have their moat repaired. Mainly though the expenses scandal became seen as a Labour scandal because special efforts were made to make it appear that way. The Telegraph newspaper that broke the story started with the expense claims of Labour MP's and after briefly covering the other parties returned to focus on the Labour party. Also the only three MP's to face criminal charges over their expenses were all Labour MP's. This kept the story in the public eye as an exclusively Labour story long after the indiscretions of the other parties had been forgotten. Weeks before the election the three Labour MP's managed to make it even worse for themselves by claiming public fund to defend themselves against charges of stealing public funds.