Tuesday 11 August 2009

Well I Win Because I've Just Shampooed A Cat.

Which seems the perfect end to an evening of unholy aggression. It started about 18:00 when me and my father were leaving for the pub so I told my grandmother to lock one of her doors but because my father had been preaching her all day long she just flatly refused so we left it. Then the moment we arrived in the pub a couple of people to the right of me started having a massive row. I don't know what it was about but it resulted in the bar staff sensibly and professionally asking one of the gentlemen to leave.

After my father and I had a tense and loaded conversation over dinner I stepped outside for a cigarette. Just as I'd put my pint on the table and lit my cigarette I realised that the gentleman on the right of me and the gentleman on the left of me were having something of a war. As the phrase "I'm going to fucking stab you!" rang through the air I decided that it was time for me to pick a side in this battle and invited the gentleman to my right to sit down and shut the fuck up while another person invited the gentleman on my left to go forth and procreate.

As I was trying to work out exactly what the hell was going on my father and I went back to the car and proceeded to drive off. In the process of performing a U turn my father slightly cut up a guy who got a bit angry. While my father's driving style probably entitled the guy to punch him in the face we were in a bit of a rush to get home so we left. After a long chat with my grandmother it became apparent that while on her earlier shopping trip she'd had a long chat with the gentleman on the left in the earlier argument. After a time this confused the both of us so we decided that i was all the cat's fault for being a flea ridden old rat bag so he was rewarded with a bath.

Anyway that was my day. I hope yours was better but if not just think, at least you're not the cat.

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