The Police Have Been Back in Touch.

The delightfully named DS Sherlock hasn't yet contacted me to take a statement but in response to Tuesday's telephone conversation the police have sent out another "Sorry you've been a victim of crime" letter. As they've correctly addressed it to me this time I can now post it up for you all to read.

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Thrilling isn't it. What will happen next is the police will do everything in their power to screw up and delay the investigation because they think simply keeping the peace will be an acceptable compromise. I will then file a compliant about this investigation with the police. This complaint will then be investigated by a police Inspector who may possibly be the same Inspector that the complaints against and obviously found to be without basis. I will then file a second complaint with the Independent Police Complaints Commission (IPCC) and we've all seen how the IPCC investigate complaints. During this process, which may take up to two years, the police will do everything they can to antagonise me and try to tease information out of me. While deeply tedious and doing nothing to build up good will between me and the Brits it's nothing compared to that time I had to explain in open court why I was sitting in the cab of a police van while several police officers looked on crestfallen or that time I had to sit down and discuss, at great length, police tactics at a Smash Edo demo with the local police's Gold Commander or that time...Well this list could go on for quite some time but I've think I've made my point.

Normally I wouldn't bother because one of the British States favourite ways to crush dissent is by tying it up in long, expensive and ultimately futile legal actions. However this opportunity has landed in my lap through immense good fortune and I'm probably one of the best placed people in the country to follow it through. Besides I've been looking for something to keep me sharp for a while now.

After six months of talking to no-one but themselves the events of the last week have given the Brits something of a reality check on the progress of their current path. This has caused them to start scratching on the coffin lid again by making a series of ever wilder claims mainly about people being arrested. This is of course not true because if arrests had been made the police would need to contact me as a witness and this has not happened. One of the more interesting stories that has been in the news today is that Chelsea Building Society is to be investigated for mortgage fraud. This stems from events yesterday why I (Chelsea) deposited a sum of money into a bank in Croydon. This caused Croydon Council to run off to tell teacher to see what's going to be done about it. The answer of course is not much because the money is legally obtained and legally deposited. In fact you could say that describing it as fraud is a malicious falsehood so any conversation in which the Brits attempt to claim that I am a criminal or that they have either legal or moral authority is not really a conversation worth having.