Now Let This be my Final Statement.

Twitter; [ Quote ]1/2 As for the massive traffic jam on the UK's #M25 motorway I'll agree. Six days is an awful long time to wait for [ / quote ]

[ Quote ] 2/2 the Croydon 'Police' Borough Commander to sit the 'accusers' down and explain to them that they have no right to life. [ / quote]

[ Quote ] @KimKardashian  After all only dogs are allowed to give evidence in a Uk Court. [ / quote ]

[ Quote ] Seriously I think it's HRH's fault for allowing the local benefit bill to rise this high. [ / quote ]


Because if Sarastro is confused as to whether the above was a clear threat to kill all the witnesses involved in my case I'll be more than happy to print it out and then attach it to his forehead. With a nail gun.

After all I've heard he's not good at subtle 'hints.' I mean he's already brought himself a gold watch in order to fight off accusations that he is not welcome amongst London Metropolitan Polices' other 34,999 officers.

01:30 on 1/6/13.


Edited at around 03:30 on 1/6/13 to add;

The abortion that's over stayed it's welcome is; PC Mark 'Sarastro' Collins (P19180)

The first witness I'm not allowed to contact is Ms Elisa Thiel of 50 Beechwood Avenue, CR7-7DZ.

The second witness I'm not allowed to contact is Ms Jenny South of 53 Beechwood Avenue, CR7-7DZ.

However I should point out that I am not publishing this to encourage anyone to approach, threaten or in any other way harass the above. After all that is my job. In fact I only mention it so the Territorial Support Group (TSG) know the address they've got to rape their way through over the coming days.

The Georgia Williams Kidnapping.

On Wednesday (29/5/13) West Mercia Police made a public appeal to help find Georgia Williams a 17 year old girl who went missing from Shropshire, UK on Sunday (26/5/13). The police are particularly keen on tracking the movements of a Silver Toyota Haice 300 GS van registration CX06 ASV. They have already arrested a 22 year old man on suspicion of kidnap however being the police since I've commented on the case they have today re-arrested the man on suspicion of murder in the hope everyone will forget the kidnap angle.

With obvious apologies to Ms Williams friends and family I do not know if she ever even existed. However the crime appears to have been arranged in response to my arrest on Sunday. You see much like a gambler that never knows when to quit the UK is treating my arrest as that great orgasmic moment that will cancel out their last 12 years of failure. Therefore they are bluffing, bullsh*tting and lying in an effort to find out what the world knows about my arrest and trying to convince them that they have a hope in hell of convicting me. As such the Georgia Williams kidnapping has three main elements;

1. The registration of the Silver Toyota Haice van is remarkably similar to my paternal grandfather's war time naval service number that began CHX. It has been alleged that my paternal grandfather served as a bodyguard to UK Prince Phillip's common-law adoptive father Lord Mountbatten amongst other things in a long and murky career. He was of course also married to my paternal grandmother who it has been alleged was murdered by "persons unknown" in an effort to steal her property and assets. Therefore a reference to him - especially a coded one - opens a whole can of worms.

2. The fact that Ms Williams is being described as an intelligent, attractive woman with her whole life in front of her could be a reference to any number of women I've had intimate relations with. After all I rarely waste my time on trash. However it seems to be a specific reference to the woman I'm rumoured (no formal allegation was ever made) to have raped in I think 2007. This is a reminder to Croydon that they are free to bring that up if they wish but it will be a very rocky road that is unlikely to end well for them.

3. The kidnap/unlawful imprisonment allegation is a specific reference to my arrest. While it is not in dispute that the officers on scene had more than probable cause to arrest me and the custody Sargent had more than probable cause to authorise my detention (both under the 1984 Police and Criminal Evidence Act/PACE) there are those amongst us who can read who feel that the moment the Officer in Charge (OIC) had read the case file he should have realised there was less than 1% chance of securing a conviction. Therefore his decision to continue my imprisonment for the purposes of interview was unlawful. After being made aware of the police assessment of the circumstances on interview his decision to return me to my cell while deciding to charge or bail me was even less lawful. His decision to bail me with conditions just seems like a sectarian vendetta.

In honour of Wednesdays England V Republic of Ireland football game I was tempted to assign the OIC the codeword of either "Setanta" from Gaelic mythology or "Sarastro" the evil wizard from Mozart's Magic Flute opera. However on reflection "Bubba O'Reilly" seems appropriate. I'll leave you to speculate whether or not that is a reference to the film "Forrest Gump."


So yeah I've really run out of clever words by this point. However at the risk of sparking off some vicious office politics I should warn the 5 Mysterious Individuals behind the Georgia Williams kidnapping that Bubba doesn't seem particularly good at taking hints. I mean was he walked me back to my cell following interview every other officer - both police and custody - turned their backs on him.


21:40 on 30/5/13.

Edited at around 01:25 on 31/5/13 to add;

Yep I've upgraded "Bubba O'Reilly" to a "Sarastro."

There Is News: Some Good, Some Bad.

The bad news is that I was planning on going to the gym today but it appears that my antics over the weekend have if not re-fractured my finger have certainly set back its healing.

The good news is that apart from guaranteeing that if charged I would be held in police custody over the weekend (some 66 hours) until I'd be brought before a Magistrate and allowing the local networks plenty of time to dream up allegations of breaches of bail conditions part of the reason the date for me to surrender to bail was set for June 28th (28/6/13) was that the police checked and discovered the splint is scheduled to come off on June 21st (21/6/13). The idea being to prevent me standing up in Croydon Magistrates Court and the Magistrate, as part of their checks on the prisoners welfare, being forced to ask; "What happened to your finger?" and me responding; "I broke it it using reasonable force to eject a trespasser from my property." Under the terms of criminal law I am fully entitled to the plots of land and buildings contained within known as 51 and 51A Beechwood Avenue as "My property."

The even better news is that the finger in question was the same one that I used to grip onto a iron fence on Queen's Road, Brighton and watched the police baton bend as it repeatedly struck it in the run up to the Iraq war. Although it didn't break on that occasion it did go a bit wonky around the second synovial joint. Therefore if the distal phalanx also goes a bit wonky I will feel entitled to christen my left middle finger my 'Police Finger.'

Also in light of my weekend do I really need to explain the Twitter argument between Amanda Bynes and Rihanna?

Finally I'm declaring China to be the weekend's big winner with their story about the baby (#59) rescued from a toilet pipe. As I said in response to the Woolwich murder video elements within the UK are very keen to make it easier for violent and dangerous criminals to escape prosecution. Therefore I cannot expand too much on the Chinese baby story. However it includes very specific details about my time in police custody so serves as a Chinese way of telling the UK that they know exactly what is going on.

Therefore it looks as though the UK's June Presidency of the United Nations Security Council (UNSC) is going to be fun. It will be around this time next week I'll be contacting the officer in charge of my case to enquire if he's even worked out what the mythical and magical piece of evidence he will need to have even a fractional chance of securing a conviction is.

11:45 on 29/5/13.

The Full Sutton Prison Hostage Taking.

Today it has emerged that on Sunday (26/5/13) a prison officer was taken hostage and badly beaten by three inmates at the Full Sutton maximum security prison near York, UK. The timing of the four hour incident between roughly 16:00 (local) and 20:00 (local) coincides almost perfectly with the start of my police interview and the wait to see whether I would be charged or bailed. Therefore this whole thing seems to have been put on in order to increase the drama and confuse everyone. For example my police interview took the form of me being locked in a small room with three men making me the prison officer in this metaphor.

The news that the Full Sutton crime is now being investigated by the North-East Counter Terrorism Command (NECTC) is supposed to give the impression that the decision whether to bail or charge me was taken out of the hands of Croydon Borough police and handed to SO15 the Metropolitan Polices Anti-Terrorist Command that used to be known as Special Branch. I honestly cannot comment on how true this is but I'm pretty sure that the case has gone all the way up to at least MI5 by now. This puts an interesting slant on the announcement today by the UK Chancellor/Finance Minister George Osborne that the government will not ask the Ministry of Defence or the Home Office (MI5) to do anything that will undermine their ability to protect this country. However that is not really George Osborne's decision to make so expect at more of this sort of thing in the coming days.

As for the bail form I really can't publish it. However as I've mentioned is fails to include the name of my "Appropriate Adult" or an alleged offence. I suspect though that I was arrested under the 1984 Police And Criminal Evidence Act in order to allow for an investigation into an offence under the 1971 Criminal Damage Act. This is quite a broad act that lists a number of offences. The most serious of these with is being thrown around for maximum dramatic effect is the Section 1 offence of damaging property with intent to endanger life or recklessness as to whether life would be endangered. This carries the maximum sentence of life imprisonment. However the section 1 offence relates to things like arson and cutting the break cables on a persons car so it would be highly unusual for it to be used in relation to smashed windows.

15:05 on 29/5/13.

Well I Gets Me Out of the House I Suppose.

Last night someone smashed in the front windows a number 50 Beechwood Avenue. The police obviously assumed it was me meaning that I've spent to the last 16 or so hours in a police cell. I've since being bailed to return o June 28th (28/6/13) on the condition I do not commit the further criminal offence of intimidating any witnesses.

Obviously this is an ongoing legal process so I am limited by what I can say. However the fact that I have been bailed rather than charged for the offence of criminal damage suggests the case against me is not strong enough to secure a conviction. There is the small issue of the fact that the nurse at the police station declared me to be a vulnerable person by way of mental illness delaying me being interviewed and thus prolonging my detention. However the same nurse did not consider me vulnerable enough to warrant calling a doctor to give me appropriate treatment for my medical condition.

We'll see what happens on June 28th but hopefully Croydon police will respond in the same way they responded to all the burglaries and criminal damage at my home and my grandmothers home and take no further action.

18:25 on 26/5/13.

Edited at around 21:25 on 26/5/13 to add: I really shouldn't be talking about this but;

The death of Clifford Clark in Liverpool, UK after being mauled to death by a dangerous dog does seem like a UK enquiry as to who is aware of the manner of my arrest I suppose this morning. If anyone has heard about this I'm kind of hoping they would get in touch with me but my memory is that I stepped outside by back door and was confronted by three or possibly four police officers. I then reached inside my pocket for a cigarette lighter and suddenly found myself flung face first into the nearest available wall. If the welts from the control handcuffs are still there tomorrow I may post pictures. It was around this point I decided to stop struggling and start being cheeky. So I may have given my name on arrest as "Jermaine Jackson" and answered the custody Sergent's initial question; "Have you ever been arrested before?" with the phrase "No but for a custody sergeant you're really f*cking ugly" before proceeding to correct his spelling, punctuation and grammar. I believe I also requested a breath alcohol (breathalyser) test but was refused on the grounds I may break the machine.

So yeah I laugh because at this point the only other option really is bursting into tears.

Edited again at around 13:30 on 27/5/13 to add; My day off is not going well.

For example the two women who were arrested for the manslaughter of Clifford Clark have been released on police bail. I do not know if their bail is unconditional however the conditions imposed on my bail make this difficult for me to talk about. Therefore I should state that I'm saying this in an attempt to inform and through that reassure rather than to intimidate.

The two women who are accusing me are close friends. At least one of them is a member of an organisation that has been linked to high levels of crime in the vicinity of Beechwood Avenue which has been classified by the police as having a harassing effect on local residents. Another member of that organisation has been demonstrated to have made false and misleading statements in a Court of law. Therefore under normal circumstances the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) would take an allegation of this sort and place it straight in the bin on the grounds it lacks credibility. However the fact that the member of the organisation was not prosecuted for perjury by making false and misleading statements in a Court of law suggests that we are not dealing with normal circumstances.

Oh and if you're familiar with the UK film "Four Lions" the Boston Marathon bombing and the firebombing of a Mosque in Grimsby will make a lot more sense.

The Woolwich Murder.

The last time I checked the purpose of terrorism was to induce terror. Therefore I've always felt that terrorist attacks are generally best ignored wherever possible.

However as my father's always been the sort to scare easily when I woke up this morning he couldn't wait to tell me about how the fact that Ingrid Loyau-Kennett (from Cornwall) who confronted one of the alleged attackers of Fusilier Lee Rigby in the Woolwich district of London yesterday (22/5/13) was a cub scout leader reminded him of that time an Eden Strang walked into my local Saint Andrews Roman Catholic church with two swords and started hacking away at the congregation. As it was far too early for me to put up with him once again showing off the little bit of cheap tin the Scout association will give Ms Loyau-Kennett for her 'bravery' I quickly changed the subject to point out that the way the blue Vauxhall Tigra car had crashed in Woolwich reminded me of an incident during the Croydon branch of the August 2011 riots. Basically the police put a line of riot police across the junction between London Road and Station/Tamworth Road to contain the crowd on London Road. So members of the crowd simply hijacked a passing car and drove it at speed into the line of riot police who sensibly moved out of the way.

Also one of the alleged attackers has been identified as Michael Adebolajo a 28 year old UK national with Nigerian ancestry. The Nigerian connection is a clear reaction to the current state of emergency that has been declared across three states in north-eastern Nigeria in response to the threat by the Islamist Boko Haram terrorist group. The UK is absolutely livid about this. You see they'd been building up Boko Haram in order scare the Nigerian government into deploying troops to the conflict in Mali. Rather logically the Nigerian government have instead decided to solve the problem in their own country first.

On an entirely related note the Movement for Unity and Jihad in West Africa (MUJAO) which is the umbrella group for Islamists in Mali, Nigeria, Niger, Chad and other West African nations have claimed responsibility for two suicide bomb attacks today in Niger that killed 20 at an army barracks in Agadez and at the French owned Somair uranium mine near Arlit. The targetting of the uranium mine was clearly intended to strengthen support for MUJAO's cause by portraying the foreigners they're fighting in Mali as colonialists there to steal Africa's natural resources. The reality of the situation is much more complicated then that. However the main message of the co-ordinated twin attacks in a nation that had until now been untouched by the conflict in Mali that there is still a lot of fight left in the Malian Islamists.

16:50 on 23/5/13.

Operation Misery: Month 3, Week 2, Day 7.

On Friday (24/5/13) Rihanna's Diamond World Tour recommences in Rabat, Morocco. I have already extensively covered the political dimensions of this loss making concert in my post "Operation Misery: Week 3, Day 6 - The Morocco Concert" that can be read here; http://watchitdie.blogspot.co.uk/2013/03/operation-misery-week-3-day-6-morocco.html

However in the latest development the US Attorney General Eric Holder has today officially confirmed that the US killed Anwar al-Awlaki - the 'totally convincing leader' of Al-Qaeda in the Arab Pennisula (AQAP) - and three other US Citizens including al-Awaki's son Abdulrahman along with Samir Kahn and Jude Mohammed in CIA drone strikes in Yemen. This is intended to stoke up anti-American feeling across the Middle East North Africa (MENA) region while confusing governments in all the bits of the map that aren't marked "USA" by bringing up the complex issue of Islamic terrorism in Yemen (one suggested solution to the Syria conflict is known as 'The Yemen Model') and creating speculation about whether Chris Brown will be joining Rihanna ever again. You will note though that as far as we know Chris Brown has still not been arrested, indicted and placed on strict bail conditions while awaiting trial for offences including the original 2009 assault on Rihanna and multiple breaches of probation conditions including fraud, bribing public officials and perverting the course of justice. This in itself is intended to increase anti-American sentiment across most of the rest of the map.

On Sunday (26/5/13) Rihanna is scheduled to perform in Bilbao, Spain. This concert marks the start of the European leg of the tour which save for a scheduled diversion in Istanbul, Turkey (30/5/13) - I hear Rihanna's feeling a little 'throaty' - will stretch across 36 concerts before ending in Helsinki, Finland on July 28th (28/7/13). Unlike the US/Canada leg of the tour the European leg only really has one political objective - to allow the UK to reintegrate itself into the European Union (EU) or at least allow the US to gain a clear indication of where the UK has strong allegiances and where the UK has weak allegiances within the EU. So if you were medically minded and feeling a little bit lippy you could describe Rihanna's function as that of a barium enema.

The original plan was that during the US/Canada leg of the tour the disruption Rihanna caused through her antics - especially on the Asian/Australasian financial markets and the MENA region would leave European governments so baffled, confused and angry that they would be provoked into jealously lashing out against Rihanna. This could take the form of big, overt things like delaying the tour caravan at international border posts or arresting members of the core tour party for drugs offences. However the hope was that it would take the form of more low-key, discreet attacks like rider requests not being fulfilled, noisy neighbours in hotels and tensions between members of the core tour party being exacerbated in order to disrupt concert preparations in order to ensure reputation damaging poor performances. Obviously in order to retaliate against Rihanna in this discreet, behind the scenes way the host governments would need to know all the juicy backstage gossip.

To this end Rihanna's CIA handlers have made it abundantly clear that it has given all the necessary information to the UK. This included making sure that Rihanna was seen to be spending a lot of time with Cara 'Property of MI6' Delevinge and the launch of the summer collection that Rihanna has licensed UK High Street retailer River Island to use her name in an attempt to sell. The grubby little video that River Island put out to announce this made special effort to point out that every member of the core tour group had influenced at least one item in the clothing line. The big hint though was that during the tour break both UK Prince Harry and UK Prime Minister David Cameron made high profile visits to the US in what was meant to represent a ceremonial handing over of the reins that control Rihanna from the US to the UK. 

The problem is that despite the best efforts of the CIA handlers and sadly Rihanna herself part one of this plan has largely failed. Far from being confused by or made jealous of Rihanna most EU governments understand perfectly what is going on and view Rihanna as a victim to be pitied rather then punished. As such there is little will to attack her further meaning that the information handed to the UK by the US is of little value. However the UK along with other Monarchies still maintain a very hostile sentiment towards Rihanna that is driven largely by jealousy. Therefore the nations on the tour schedule can largely be divided into three risk categories with Tier 1 (T1) being medium risk, Tier 2 (T2) being low risk and Tier 3 (T3) being very low risk. Obviously the plan should be to maximise the amount of time spent in T3 nations while minimising the time spent in the T1 nations. At the risk of provoking a wave of b*tching, moaning and complaining the tiers are as follows;

T1; The UK, Belgium, The Netherlands, Switzerland and Sweden.

T2; The Republic of Ireland, Denmark, Monaco, Norway and Finland.

T3; Spain, Portugal, France, Germany and Poland.

That said EU politics are notoriously complex and interlinked. Therefore (in a totally made up example) in order to secure Romanian support for the Common Agricultural Policy (CAP) element of the European Commission (EC) Budget France might have to show support for the Irish Republic's position on the horsemeat scandal by lashing out against Rihanna. As such the normal rules of illegal items being provided and held by citizens of the host nation, tour equipment moving to the next international border as soon as possible and zero contact with Chris Brown all still apply. Also as neither the tour promoter Live Nation nor the record company Roc Nation have provided me with a phone Rihanna really needs to follow me on Twitter in order to inform me about border crossings. That's because her role in EU politics is going to exert great pressure on African governments as they attempt to deal with the Mali problem.

The other major problem is going to be the three day break between the London, UK (16/6/13) concert and the Sunderland, UK (20/6/13) which will coincide with the very hot G8 Summit being held in Northern Ireland, UK. You see in their infinite wisdom the UK hosts of this year's G8 Summit have decided that it will be held in Northern Ireland during Protestant marching season. Therefore I cannot guarantee that it will be 100% riot free. However I'm pretty sure any antics will be confined to a roughly 1 square mile (1.6km^2) of Belfast where they all know each other anyway. Fortunately the summit itself will be held at the Loch Erne golf resort which is roughly 100 miles (160km) from Belfast and well if the hosts aren't paying for the delegates listed under the 1961 Vienna Convention to bring their own helicopter gunships then frankly they don't deserve to be a member of the G8 anymore.

Therefore I think it is totally unacceptable for Rihanna to be in the UK during this time. Fortunately due to the Channel Tunnel for less then USD300 Rihanna can be in Paris, France in under two hours of coming off stage in London. If  Live Nation were to splash out on a private jet she could be in Spain or Portugal in roughly the same amount of time. As non-members of the G8 either Spain or Portugal would be much better options especially as Portugal is so broke they'd probably be prepared to leave Rihanna the keys.

In the meantime I been to a wedding and sadly not picked up a certificate of wounding but I am intending to update my Twitter (@Sovereignaka) avatar. As for Rihanna apparently she still is on Twitter but seems intent on continuing to ruin her career by insisting that Instagram is still a good idea.

However I gather that she has mainly been set to work completing the video for the soon to be released video for "Pour It Up." This was of course was intended to interpreted as proof that the 'community containment' that keeps her away from Chris Brown is still working. In reality though the US is still largely a civilised country that has a very expensive criminal justice system that is more than capable of containing the threat that Chris Brown has presented to Rihanna since at least 2009. Therefore the real reason for the CIA handlers are forcing Rihanna to shoot the Pour it Up video is to further ruin her career. After all as I've said 1000 times of more that Pour it Up is really not the image of herself Rihanna wants to be presenting to the world while she's bankrupting herself in an effort to rob most of;  the EU, Africa and the Middle East.

Also I understand that Rihanna has been forced to spend a lot of time in the recording studio. Unofficially she's been ordered to license her brand in order to help fellow Roc Nation artist Wale sell his next album. However it was intended to be interpreted as further evidence that the 'community contaiment' is working while convincing everyone that Live Nation have accepted my point and need to end the Diamonds World Tour in Helsinki, Finland (28/7/13) and Roc Nation is already working on Rihanna's comeback album. The problem is that if Rihanna's next album is as poor as her last album "Unapologetic" and the "Diamonds" tour that supported it will be the final nail in her coffin. The second problem is that because that last album and this tour are so incredibly political the next album will have to be at least be a little political in order to address all those political faux pas. If the tour continues all the way until November 2013 (11/13) we will not even know what the questions are until at least December 2013 (12/13) let alone have found the correct answers in time for the Christmas sales.

There is of course a much more sensible solution but if Roc Nation haven't been given enough clues by now they really need to hurry up on that Lebanon line.


23:59 on 22/5/13

at 23:05 on 22/5/13 there is much more to come
at 23:25 on 22/5/13 I'm determining these to be considered footnotes.

at 23:55 on 22/5/13 there's just a tiny bit more.
at 00:40 on 23/5/13.

at 01:15 on 23/5/13 - See Footnotes*

The 2013 Eurovision Song Contest. Part 1.

On Saturday (18/5/13) the grand final of the Eurovision Song Contest took place in Malmo, Sweden. As I've already mentioned I was at a wedding at the time so rather then watching the voting play out live I'm left trying to decipher a quite complex results chart. Therefore I will have to comment on the voting separately although with Rihanna's Diamonds World Tour starting again in Rabat, Morocco on Friday (24/5/13) I'm not sure when I'm going to get the time.

I did though manage to watch both of the two semi-finals and saw the acts that qualified automatically for the final. The first thing I have to mention is how impressed I was by the very high standard of all the entries. I know I sort of say that every year but this year I was really struck by the sophistication of what were very politically charged entries. Normally what happens in Eurovision is that an entry will attempt to make a single political point and spend the next three minutes really ramming that point home. This year all entries made several political points and many featured a sort of opera like narrative arc that shifted throughout the song - something that is quite difficult to do in just three minutes.

A prime and rather uncontroversial example of this was the Irish Republic's entry "Only Love Survives." During the performance Ryan Dolan was accompanied by shirt-less male dancers wearing body paint intended to resemble Celtic tattoos while playing traditional Celtic instruments. This was a clear reference to part of the closing ceremony of the 2012 Para-Olympic games and made it appear that Ireland was supporting the UK over what was the start of my deeply unhappy marriage to Rihanna. However a the song progressed this support became more and more sarcastic in tone giving the impression that Ireland was actually mocking the UK. This was done in a clear attempt to appeal to both those who agree with the Rihanna operation and those who disagree.

Even the worst entry of the competition (excluding Romania's incredibly poor effort) Serbia's "Ljubav Je Svuda" seemed intentionally so. With the all girl three piece being reminiscent of Haim - the most hyped band of 2013 and their stage costumes borrowing heavily from the South Korean 'K-Pop' trend Serbia seemed to be complaining that its years of isolation following the break up of Yugoslavia are causing it be confused about what is going on in the rest of the world. This protest didn't seem to go down well with the judging panels not only snubbing Serbia but also snubbing all the former Yugoslavian nations in a clear attempt to make Serbia even less popular with it's neighbours in an effort to resolve the Kosovo issue.

The main political theme of the competition was the changing relationship between the old NATO allied western Europe and the old Soviet allied eastern Europe. This was mainly done through the differences between the western European liberal attitudes to homosexuality and Russia's illiberal attitude. The main driving force behind Russia's position on homosexuality is that heterosexual people can be tricked into thinking they're homosexual therefore if homosexuality is allowed to be widely promoted it will cause the collapse of the traditional family destroying society through a falling birth rate and HIV/AIDS epidemic. Therefore many of the entries played around with the issues of marriage and sexuality along with things that can influence youth sexuality such as pop-music, TV shows, films and drugs meaning there were a lot of women in white which could be both a reference to the traditional white wedding dress or cocaine. Both Malta's entry "Tomorrow" and Hungary's entry "Kedevessem" played around with the notion of metrosexuality which has led to a decline in male masculinity in most of the western world.

The controversial running order for the first semi-final was set by the Swedish hosts in an effort to put maximum pressure on former Soviet bloc countries by making it abundantly clear what the big theme was.

The clear winner on this political front was Finland's entry "Marry Me" which featured the singer wearing an actual wedding dress and singing about how desperate she was for her boyfriend to propose to her. This obviously raised questions about why in a post-feminist world in which women can do pretty much anything they like many of them are still desperate to get married. As the performance ended with the singer enjoying lesbian kiss with one of her female backing dancers this also raised issues such as same-sex marriage. However as the singer clearly isn't gay while the backing dancer clearly is and along with lots of subtle little references to Katy Perry's "Hot & Cold" video this also raised discussion about why some women pretend to be bisexual in order to attract men and the problem of heterosexual people being tricked into homosexual relationships. In the final voting Finland were slammed hard for that last point because telling uncomfortable home truths about homosexuality is clearly not the way to win at Eurovision.

The other main political theme was the CIA's Rihanna operation with nations like the hosts Sweden trying to use Eurovision as a way to assess the progress of the operation ahead of the European leg of Rihanna's tour. Therefore pretty much all of the female contestants cited the Whitney Houston disaster as one of their main influences and quite a few of the costumes such as Croatia and Romanias made subtle little references to Rihanna's tour costumes particularly the Givenchy coat. Obviously in order to assess individual nations views on the Rihanna operation I will have to get heavily into the voting However with Denmark's para-Olympic themed and rather dark "(Between us) Only Teardrops" winning and Azerbaijan (a by-word for Rihanna's fragile emotional state) coming second I would say there is a significant level of concern about Rihanna's well being therefore it seems unlikely that European nations will be queueing up to further attack someone they see as a victim.

21:05 on 21/5/13.

Abu Qatada Refused Bail.

Today world renowned MI6 operative Abu Qatada has been refused bail by a UK Court while another UK Court drags out his extradition to Jordan for as long as humanly possible. So allow me to cut a very long story short;

With few options left the Syrian government is focusing its efforts on creating an Alawite state along the Mediterranean coast. The current wave of bomb attacks across Iraq are intended to promote discussion about a possible solution to the Syrian conflict that would see everything from Lebanon to Iran's borders with Afghanistan and Pakistan destroyed and replaced by an Alawite state, a Sunni state and a Shia state. The names of these three new states have yet to be decided but the UK is really pushing the idea under the argument that what we consider to be Lebanon, Syria, Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, Pakistan, India and Bangladesh are actually entirely false nations created during the fall of the British Empire. Therefore it would be 'healthy' for the region to allow it to re-balance itself along ethnic/tribal lines.

The problem is that Jordan is also an entirely false nation created by the UK in return for tribal support for the second world war. Therefore the news that Abu Qatada is not going to be set free on bail is intended to be interpreted as the UK reassuring the Jordanian Monarchy that their fiefdom is not going to be allowed to re-balance itself. Personally I don't think there was any need for this reassurance because if the UK was serious about eliminating false middle-eastern nations the logical place to start would be Saudi Arabia followed by Yemen, Oman, Qatar and the United Arab Emirates. You of course may remember that at the start of this 'totally genuine Syrian uprising' the UK widely and openly mocked the Syrian government spokeswoman for pointing out that Syrians and Turks used to routinely cross the border to meet up with relatives.

This neo-colonial process of starting brutal civil wars to divide nations into little bite sized chunks has become known as 'Balkanisation' after is worked so effectively in that area of Europe following the collapse of the USSR. Therefore this has huge resonance within the Eurovision Song Contest. Although I'm opposed to the concept dividing it up into small bite sized chunks is actually how I intend to eventually tackle the Eurovision Song Contest.

Seriously it's like trying to eat an elephant.

14:15 on 20/5/13.

Bathe Me in Bleach and Burn My Clothes.

That's right I'm back in London where they have locks on their doors and working Internet connections. My priorities now are really having a bath, having dinner and then going to bed.

Obviously I don't want to tell you too much about the wedding because as you may have guessed from the lack of a magazine deal it was pretty much a private affair. However it was a simple Church of England ceremony during which neither I nor the two gay couples in attendence burst into flames. This was followed by a reception at a hotel with a sit-down dinner, a wedding DJ in the evening and lots and lots of drinking. Things ended at around 23:00GMT.  The giant splint on my finger meant I was largely avoided by the vast number of doctors who attended and didn't want to get dragged into work conversations. The groom though did introduce me to supposedly one of the best hand surgeons in London. Unfortunately shortly after being introduced to the groom's very Irish cousins he decided he was a leprechaun and was last seen gently rolling down a hill into a lavender bush. So much to the alarm of the hotel staff who'd clearly been warned about my reputation I was actually one of the better behaved guests.

Oh and I am a bit p*ssed off they've changed the signs at East Croydon railway station. The old ones used to read; "Home of Fairfield Halls."

16:30 on 19/5/13.

Edited at around 20:25 on 19/5/13 to add;

Actually thinking about it a magazine deal might not have been a bad idea because the explosion in Newark, Nottinghamshire, UK has reminded me that the G8 Summit is taking place in northern Ireland this year. So I should explain;

The groom's father is my mother's brother meaning that he was born in London, UK making him an English Catholic. He went on to marry a Protestant woman from a part of the Irish Republic that is so rural and so Irish it was literally used as the exterior scenes in the BBC1 TV show "Ballykissangel." Therefore the English cousins are the ones with the Irish names while the Irish cousins are the ones with the English names. As a result when we get together and try to work out how we know each other there are frequent references to 'an incident during the civil war' and everyone moves on without saying much more about about these various incidents. Normally this shouldn't be a problem but on this occasions some of the Irish cousins stood up and gave a toast in Gaelic. This was actually a very moving traditional wedding toast that talks about how we are born into a family before going on to live our lives alone until we meet that special person, join together and go on to raise our own family.

The problem is this toast makes lots of references to "ourselves alone." Along with "Slainte" which means "Cheers" this is probably the most known Gaelic phrase to non-Gaelic speakers because it translates as "Sinn Fein" - the name of the political party that has long sought to end British rule in northern Ireland. As for the bride's family after dealing with mine I didn't really get the chance to say hello. However I'm guessing English Protestants and lower level Freemasons.

While I'm here I should also point out that along with me and the two gay couples neither the Muslim nor the Jew burst into flames during the ceremony. However I think it was a bit of a faux pas to seat me (Simon) and the Jew (Simon) back to back on different tables without first introducing us to each other because this only led to us staring at each other confused every time a loud and drunken voice rang out "Simon!" from across the room. My main faux pas was not introducing the not very observant Muslim to the not very observant Jew before she started telling a very loud, drunken and possibly made up stories about her relatives in India views on Israel. This led to the Jew being treated to some very random and very choice phrases while he was trying to have a heart to heart with his equally drunken gentile fiance.

So yeah like I said; "Syria - peice of piss(!)"

Edited again at around 03:45 on 20/5/13 to add;

As the surgeon fell the anaesthetist shouted; "Don't Worry. We have a dog that will sh*t on command!" But sadly that west highland never could rise to the occasion. I blame #Shin #Bet.

I Should Probably Tidy That Up.

Unfortunately I've got to dash off to this wedding. Therefore it's going to be semi-coherent Tweets only from me until Sunday (19/5/13)/Monday (20/5/13) and good manners dictate they will be intermittent at best. Before I go though the US have obviously been working very hard to push Rihanna to the top of the agenda for the Eurovision Song Contest. So a quick update;

Early this morning - in order to maximise the impact on the Asian and Australasian finacial markets - it was announced that Rihanna will be supported on the European leg of her Diamonds World Tour by the most hyped band of 2013 - Haim. For the Morocco (24/5/13) concert and the Turkey (30/5/13) concert the purpose of this is obviously the "Are Haim Jewish or not?" question. Despite the fact that Haim have yet to do very much and are very weird and cult-like the Haim girls are clearly very artistically talented. Therefore the CIA handlers hope is that all the other European concerts will be accompanied by serious music journalists going; "Well the support act are clearly much better than the main act." Throughout the tour the hope is that Rihanna and Haim will become close and they'll help report details of how the tour is going back to the US.

Also today press reports are emerging that Rihanna is suing a UK High Street clothes retailer. Sadly though this legal action isn't being taken against River Island in order to bring the ill-conceived Rihanna licensing deal to an end. Instead it's against River Island's main rival Topshop for their use of Rihanna's images on T-Shirts without Rihanna's permission. I haven't seen the legal papers or the T-Shirts in question. However if they were taken in a public place the copyright of the photographs belongs to the photographer so they can do what they like with them. I suppose the case will spark some debate about press freedom (especially the paparazzi) and the use of so-called 'Orphan photographs' particularly on the Internet. However in the UK it is up to Parliament rather than the Courts to change the law. Therefore all Rihanna is doing is setting herself up for an expensive failure - something which is sadly fast becoming the unofficial motto of Rihanna's increasingly nihilistic management.


11:20 on 17/5/13.

Beyonce and Eurovision.

Yeah I've just got back from dinner with my mother. It was all sociable and really the only topic of conversation was the practical plans surrounding this wedding such as how we're all going to get there and back. With the Eurovision Song Contest going on all week, the Europa football final taking place as I right, a donors conference on Mali and United Nations General Assembly (UNGA) meeting taking place today I'm a bit pressed for time. However there is one thing I should comment on.

On Tuesday (14/5/13) Beyonce the wife of Rihanna's mentor Jay-Z cancelled a concert in Antwerp, Belgium citing exhaustion and dehydration sparking rumours that she might be pregnant again. This might be true however the real reason for the cancellation of the concert is that discussions about rescheduling and ticket refunds could be used as a way for the US and Belgium to talk about Belgium's Eurovision entry. Obviously I don't want to give too much away before the final but from the running order that was set by the Swedish hosts (a major break from tradition) it is clear that the main way the transition from the old Cold War east and west Europe is being explored is through the former Soviet states attitudes towards the European Union (EU) very tolerant attitudes towards homosexuality and Russia's less tolerant attitudes that were the sub-text throughout the Pussy Riot trial. The Russians argument is that because heterosexual people can be tricked into thinking they are homosexual if homosexuality were to be openly promoted it will lead to a collapse of society with tumbling marriage and birthrates and a HIV/AIDS epidemic. Therefore lots of the old Soviet nations entries touch on themes of marriage, childbirth and things that influence youth sexuality such as drugs, dance music, films, TV shows, video games and Internet pornography. The Belgium entry "Love Kills" by Roberto Bellarosa touches on all these themes and does so in such a way as to make it looks like it agrees with both the Russian position and the EU position. Therefore it's a clear attempt to boost Belgium's popularity and influence in former Soviet states by showing it understands their predicament. It seems to be working with Belgium making it through to the final for the first time in years.

Also the Swedish hosts and few of the competing nations are trying to make Rihanna a big theme of this years contest in order to assess opinions ahead to the European leg of her tour. For example the opening performance of last years winner "Euphoria" by Loreen featured her wearing a flowing red dress while being accompanied by a deaf choir performing a very choral like version of the song. The was a clear reference to the 2012 Para-Olympic closing ceremony which featured Rihanna and marked the start of our deeply unhappy marriage.

20:40 on 15/5/13.

It's Eurovision Time!

Demonstrating that the US were perhaps being over optimistic in thinking it could befuddle Europe through Rihanna operation today sees the first semi-final in the 2013 Eurovision Song Contest. This is is large pop-music competition that European governments engage in every year. Obviously due to this wedding I will miss Saturday's (18/5/13) final meaning I will have to work harder during the semi-finals and my final verdict probably won't be ready until around Monday (20/5/13).

However the main theme of this years competition is Europe's transition from NATO western Europe and Soviet eastern Europe to a united Europe through the end of the cold war. This will be set against a backdrop of Eurozone austerity that has forced nations such as Portugal to pull out of this years contest. This theme has largely been set by the UK through their entry "Believe In Me" by Bonnie Tyler. Apart from being a very unsubtle plea for support for the UK from European nations Bonnie Tyler was very famous in the late-1980's for her overblown power ballads which were very popular at the time. With the Soviet "Iron Curtain" unable to stop FM and AM radio waves this type of music played a key role in helping attract those living under Communism to life in the west.

So much so it's long been acknowledged that one song in particular was purposefully beamed across Soviet Europe in order to set the cultural conditions for the fall of the Berlin wall although it never triggered an actual revolution.  However it has long been disputed exactly which song this was. The US and David Hasselhoff would like everyone to believe that it was the David Hasselhoff song "Looking For Freedom" everybody else though knows it was "Winds of Change" by West German/British band Scorpions/Skorpions depending on the English or German spelling of their name. This song is of course so awful it stands to this day as testament to just grim Communism really is.

Having played a central role in the Cold War and in particular the fall of the Berlin wall the now unified Germany has recently moved the discussion on with the trial of Beate Zschape the sole remaining member of the National Socialist Underground (NSU). For those of you who have not been following the NSU were a neo-Nazi terrorist group who carried out a series of bank robberies and murders of Turkish and Greek immigrants and German police officers whilst being monitored by Germany's domestic security service the Office for the Protection of the Constitution. Apart from inflaming the long running tension over Turkish immigrants to Germany the NSU case highlighted how many European domestic security agencies such as Britain's MI5 have failed to move on from the Cold War.

During the Cold War NATO countries supported pro-western terrorist groups across the Soviet bloc while the USSR supported Marxist terrorist groups across western Europe most famously the Baader-Meinhoff gang/Red Army Faction in west Germany and the Red Brigades in Italy. The NATO nations countered this threat by building up facist terrorist groups such as the NSU to attack and counter-balance the Marxist terrorist groups whilst inflitrating the Marxist groups. The emergence of groups such as the Informal Anarchist Federation (FAI) and the English Defence League (EDL) suggests that many in European security agencies would prefer to return to these Cold War tactics in response to the Eurozone crisis even though the USSR collapsed some twenty years ago. Turkey blaming last Saturday's (11/5/13) twin car bombings of Marxist groups linked to Syria was their way indicating to Germany that they are aware of this element of the Beate Zschape trial.

On a totally unrelated note Russia has today arrested a CIA agent accused of trying to recruit a Russian intelligence officer. Although I doubt  it says "CIA spy" on his visa application the arrested officer - Ryan Fogle - is one of the CIA officers attached to the Russian Embassy in what is an accepted practice in international espionage/diplomatic circles. Therefore ahead of a meeting between Russia and Israel this is Russia's way of saying that it thinks the US rather than Israel through Syria should be the ones getting punished for the US' Rihanna operation.


12:55 on 14/5/13.

It's Britain's Big Day.

As I mentioned in my previous post the UK Prime Minister David Cameron is today meeting with the US President Barrack Obama in Washington DC, US. This is obviously a very important meeting for the UK so they're already making a lot of noise in order to draw attention to it. The big political talking point is over plans for a non-binding House of Commons vote on enshrining into law a national referendum on the UK's membership of the European Union (EU) before the 2015 General Election that was introduced by rebel members of Cameron's Conservative Party. This is likely to cause a lot of tension because one of the US' main reasons for keeping the UK as an ally is so it can act as the US' eyes and ears within the EU.

In politically adjacent news former Liberal Democrat (LibDem) MP Chris Huhne and his ex-wife have been released from prison after serving just a quarter of their eight month sentences for perverting the course of justice after Pryce falsely took speeding penalty points on her driving license on Huhne's behalf. They will serve the remainder of their sentence under curfew monitored by electronic ankle bracelet. As a much more serious form of perverting the course of justice is the offence that Chris Brown has still not been charged with this is supposed to look like the UK recommending that Chris Brown is placed on curfew and electronic monitoring for the rest of Rihanna's Diamonds World Tour. However as Huhne and Pryce's curfews form part of their post-conviction punishments rather than pre-trial bail conditions the UK actually seems to be telling the US to continue to protect Chris Brown.

Also in legal news Stuart Hazell the man on trial over the murder of Tia Sharp has suddenly changed his plea to guilty which will most likely bring the trial to an end. This is being described as a shock decision but it was really planned all along. Basically the trial has reached the point where the prosecution has come to the end of presenting its case meaning that it is now the defences turn. The defence don't really have a case to present so Hazell has changed his plea at the last possible moment in order to take advantage in the 1/3rd reduction in sentence that automatically comes with a guilty plea.

Finally I received one of those sinister looking brown envelopes from the Department of Work and Pensions (DWP). All it actually was is a income tax certificate laying out that I haven't paid any income tax on my non-income. Now the suspense is out of the way I suppose this could lead onto a discussion about how I'm being chronically underpaid.

The US also looks like it intends to play its part. Apart from the shooting at a mothers day parade in new Orleans last night there was also a large fire in a house in Philadelphia killing a family of six. This was a very abstract reference to the Bangladesh factory attack. It is reminiscent of a series of fires and other industrial accidents in the early part of the twentieth century that led to widespread reform of US labour laws. The 1911 Shirtwaist fire being one of the more famous examples.

11:25 on 13/5/13.

Edited at around 19:00 on 13/5/13.

Shortly after writing the above a large car bomb exploded outside a hospital in the eastern Libyan city of Benghazi killing between 3 and 11 people depending on which report you've heard. This was clearly the work of UK linked militia and was timed to coincide with the UK Prime Minister David Cameron's visit to the US to meet with President Obama. The primary objective was to enquire what is going on with the debate about the September 11th 2012 (11/9/12) attack on the US Embassy in Benghazi that killed Ambassador J Christopher Stevens. Obviously the UK was most keen to learn if the US has acknowledged its involvement in that attack and what it intends to do about it. However it also seems that the Benghazi issue has become a sort of code for the US to discuss everything that has gone wrong with US foreign policy over the last four years. Beyond that the attack on Benghazi brought up the recent siege of Libyan government buildings in the capitol Tripoli that only ended with an obviously politically biased law banning former senior members of the Qaddafi regime and the setting up of a rival government based in Benghazi in a renewed effort to force Libya into a federal model of government. Obviously I don't need to explain how destabilising an effect on Libya having two rival armed groups claiming to be the legitimate government will have. After all that type of situation is normally described as a civil war. The attacks also brought back memories for the recent attack on the French Embassy in Tripoli which is widely believed to be an Islamist response to the French decision to extend it's mission in Mali. This obviously puts the issue of what to do about Mali on the agenda for the meeting between Cameron and Obama.

Shortly after the bombing in Libya the Turkish authorities announced that one of it's F-16 combat jets had gone missing presumed crashed close to the border with Syria. This seems to be a Turkish message that despite the weekend bombing they won't be supporting UK calls for further foreign intervention in Syria at least until the security situation (especially the weapons of mass destruction) post-Assad can be stabilised. Syria was one of the items on the formal agenda for the meeting between Cameron and Obama.

While Cameron and Obama were holding the end of meeting press conference I was seeing my General Practitioner (GP). As the practise is in the process of switching from one computer system to another the report on my infamous ECG test has gone missing. However my GP renewed my prescription for another two months while expressing confusion as to why another doctor had ordered the test in the first place.

By this time the US had fully woken up and was contributing to the general level of noise surrounding Cameron's visit. The first of these was the news that the man accused of carrying out the mass shooting at a cinema in Aurora, Colorado is to plead not guilty by reason of insanity. This will obviously extend the trial and complicate it by making the outcome rest on very complicated medical and legal knowledge on issues of sanity. These arguments are intended to be very difficult for less well developed nations such as those African nations who are being forced into a UN peacekeeping force for Mali to understand. The move is also intended to promote discussion about the nature of Rihanna and Chris Brown's relationship especially in majority Muslim nations such as Morocco and Turkey. The question the US is trying to pose is; Am I insane for thinking that the relationship is false, engineered and abusive or are people insane for thinking it's not? In strict psychological terms the correct answer is that neither option is correct.

Next up disgraced American football player and film actor O.J Simpson appeared in a Las Vegas Court for a Habeas Corpus hearing over this imprisonment for armed robbery and kidnapping. His argument is that his legal defence at the original 2008 trial was so poor it meant he did not receive a fair trial and therefore his continued imprisonment is unlawful until a new trial can be held. Having been nicknamed 'Bart Simpson' the hope was everybody would assume that O.J Simpson was a metaphor for Chris Brown and be tricked into looking into this case for clues about what would happen at Brown's June 10th (10/6/13) Court appearance. However I can see no connection between the two cases. The only possible connection is that it could be argued that Brown's attorney is giving him bad legal advice by telling him there is some grounds for him to plead not guilty to the accusation of perverting the course of justice. However Brown's case has not yet gone to trial so all that would happen is that the Judge would dismiss Brown's attorney and appoint one who would advise him to plead guilty.

The legal principle of Habeas Corpus under which O.J Simpson sought today's hearing is one of the protections against arbitrary detention. It comes from the opening line of the writ (which used to be written in Latin) which a Judge would send to a jailer ordering that such and such prisoner was brought before them in Court at a certain time and date to determine if there was probable cause to imprison them. For nations that don't have protections against arbitrary detention - such as those in the Middle East North Africa (MENA) region - the US was hoping this argument would be highly confusing and especially inflammatory in Libya where the cases of Saif al-Islam Qaddafi and Abdullah al-Sensussi are still ongoing. The fact that "Habeas Corpus" literally translates as "Have the Body" could also cause confusion by making it sound like the US was suggesting that Chris Brown be killed although Latin doesn't distinguish between a live body and a dead body.

On the subject of legal terms I should explain my new tagline on Twitter (@Sovereignaka) - Force Majeure. Literally meaning "Superior Force" in legal terms this refers to an event that is so large, unpredictable and overwhelming that it invalidates the obligations of a legal contract. I think this is how Rihanna's CIA handlers would be well served to view me in terms of their current operation. The legal principle actually has a lot of relevance to government contracts such as debt agreements when one government is overthrown and replaced by another as has happened in Libya. Sadly the Libyan militias seem intent on purging anyone who understands things like this from their government.

As for Rihanna herself although Live Nation have yet to confirm it she has been scheduled two new concerts in Denver, Colorado on November 9th (9/11/13) and New Orleans on November 15th (15/11/13). These are clear attempts to tie her to the issues surrounding the Aurora shooting trial and the New Orleans mothers day parade shooting that itself ties to the upcoming G8 Summit. Therefore the overwhelming message of the new concert dates is that whether they succeed or fail Rihanna's handlers intend to keep on extending this tour until it totally destroys her. To me this would seem like a pyrrhic victory because not even the Gulf Monarchs truly believe that Rihanna caused the so-called Arab Spring so destroying Rihanna isn't likely to affect their relationship with the US in any way. It does seem likely to have a negative effect on the US' relationship with a host of other countries though. Following last night's (12/5/13) concert in South Africa Justin Bieber has had the relatively small amount of money raised by that concert stolen. This seems to be South Africa telling Rihanna's handlers that they'd rather not have a role in her destruction by having her perform her scheduled concerts in the country.

The Tour Break: Day 5.

I was planning to give myself the evening off to avoid clashing with the Olympic and Para-Olympic dominated British Academy Film and Television Awards (BAFTA) TV awards ceremony. The tone of the evening was rather set by Romola Gari who in presented the award for best actor in a comedy said; "When I recently gave birth to my child I was forced to endure 23 stitches to my vagina so I thought I'd never laugh again. These people proved me wrong."

Therefore my very long an complex post about the UK forcing the Bangladesh factory attack to the top of the global agenda on Friday (10/5/13)will have to wait for another day. However it is worth pointing out that the most anti-US of the three mainstream candidates does appear to have won Pakistan's General Election on Saturday (11/5/13).

However also on Friday the US' National Aeronautics and Space Agency (NASA) 'discovered' ammonia leaking from the cooling system of the International Space Station (ISS). Ammonia is of course an acid which is widely used in acid attacks such as the April 30th (30/4/13) acid attack against a women in Essex, UK, the acid attack against Naomi Onie also in Essex, UK and of course the acid attack against Sergei Filin - the director of the Bolshoi ballet. As the attack against Filin was a Russian assessment of my impact on the CIA's Rihanna/Chris Brown operation the 'leak' on the ISS was the US trying to convince everyone they were performing an asessment on the progress of that operation. The successful fix of the 'fault' on Saturday (11/5/13) was of course an attempt to reassure everybody that the CIA is in full control and the operation is still viable. The fact that there was no way on earth (or elsewhere) that the US were going to blow up the ISS killing some of the worlds top scientists is quite a big clue that this claim of success was scripted well in advance and it's conclusion is in no way the result of an honest assessment of the actual evidence.

The fact that access to acids like ammonia is becoming an issue with the public debates in India about women's rights in the wake of the Delhi bus/gang rape means that it was an attempt by the CIA to understand an issue that also has resonance in places like, Bangladesh, Pakistan and Afghanistan along with most of the Middle East North Africa (MENA) region.

Rather proving that the CIA cannot even allow themselves to contemplate the idea that the Rihanna/Chris Brown operation is failing they've just carried out a mass shooting at a Mothers Day parade in New Orleans. Details are still emerging but it appears that three people opened fire into a crowd wounding 12 including 3 who are said to be seriously injured. The 3 shooters have since fled the scene. The type of weapon used has not been disclosed but I'm guessing AR-15 type semi-automatic rifles or semi-automatic handguns.

The attack coincided perfectly with the end of the BAFATV award ceremony and the start of the aftershow parties. This attack will obviously sour the mood at those parties. Due to the close cultural links between the UK and the US this will have a knock effect on the Los Angeles based US entertainment industry. They will obviously be extra confused because the choice of New Orleans location brings up that ridiculous conspiracy theory that the CIA blew up the levees deliberately causing the flooding in New Orleans during Hurricane Katrina. The LA based entertainment industry have been very vocal supporters of gun control in the wake of the Sandy Hook massacre. Therefore the CIA is trying to make pro-gun, pro-Republican America think that they're getting tough with the anti-gun, pro-Democrat celebrities. However the fact that the three attackers have fled the scene which will obviously lead to a full scale manhunt is reminiscent of a terrorist attack particularly the Boston marathon bombings means that the CIA is actually trying to push for more gun-control claiming it is needed to prevent future terror attacks. This is a direct reference to President Obama's long term fear that pro-gun, pro-Republicans will one day assassinate him which as is was during the Boston marathon bombings seems like an attempt to insult if not totally confuse the President as he responds to the incident. Also the fact the attacks took place in the French quarter are intended to make it look as though the US is urgently discussing the situation in Mali in a effort to drag African governments into a world of hurt.

As for the LA community they appear very keen that the Rihanna/Chris Brown operation is cancelled and the threat presented by Chris Brown is contained. Today it was reported that a local residents association had filed a series of complaints about the state of Chris Brown's home including the treatment of animals within the property, the illegal parking of vehicles outside the property and a series of pictures Chris Brown had drawn on an exterior wall to the property. In recent days the LA Courts system has finally taking notice of these various violations and fined Chris Brown USD300 for "excessive signage" and ordered him to remove the exterior paintings This to me sounds very much like local Court code for; "Shut the f*ck up."

Unfortunately neither Chris Brown nor his attorney show any sign of either understanding or heeding the warning. Chris Brown has already taken to Twitter indicate that he will not comply with the Court order while his attorney is promising to fight the case as a first amendment free speech issue while once claiming that Chris Brown is the most oppressed person in all of human history. Obviously I couldn't comment on a pending case but I'm certain that one thing Chris Brown is not being oppressed by is the 15-20 years he should be serving in prison.

22:15 on 12/5/13.

Edited at around 00:50 on 13/5/13 to add;

The 'Community Parade' element of the New Orleans shooting is an attempt to raise security concerns ahead of the G8 Summit to be held in Northern Ireland, UK. The UK Prime Minister David Cameron will of course be meeting the US President Barack Obama later on today. I would like to hope that Obama has the sense to delay the meeting until my 15:50 appointment with my GP to discuss those ECG results amongst so many other things. Unfortunately I know deep down that was a key factor in the scheduling.

The Tour Break: Day 4.

Despite delaying the sentencing portion of the Jodie Arias trial the US is still continuing with the political aspect of Rihanna's Diamonds World Tour albeit more discreetly. Yesterday (10/5/13) all the action centred around the Boston marathon bombings.

Firstly the location of the Muslim cemetery in Virginia where Tarmalan Tsarnaev has been buried was made public. As Tarmalan Tsarnaev is really not popular in the US this has prompted a lot of anger against the cemetery with local officials said to be examining their legal options to have the body moved. This obviously reignites the argument about what to do with Tarmalan Tsarnaev's body. The obvious answer would to have the body cremated and the ashes discreetly disposed of. This though is forbidden by Islamic law. However Islamic law is also very strict that those who kill innocents should burn in the fires of hell. As one of the victims of the Boston marathon bombings was an 8 year old boy there is actually a very good argument that Islamic law does permit cremation in Tarmalan Tsarnaev's case. This argument of course will be best debated by Muslims living in Islamic societies such as Morocco and Turkey. It will also be particularly inflammatory in Islamic societies in which terrorism is prevalent such as Iraq and Pakistan.

Secondly the Massachusetts attorneys office announced that a probable cause hearing in the cases of Dias Kadyrbaev and Azamat Tazhayakov who along with Robel Phillipos were arrested for assisting the Tsarnaev brothers after the bombings will not be held. This is unusual because the US Constitution stops the government arbitrarily detaining people. Therefore if the government wants to imprison someone they have to prove they have probable cause to do so. However unlike Phillipos Kadyrbaev and Tazhayakov are not US citizens so there is an argument that they are not protected by the US Constitution. This argument has particular relevance to the current debate about immigration reform in the US which directly affects Rihanna and the CIA drone program especially when it targets US citizens in places like Yemen. Also the notion that governments can't just lock people up on a whim will sound completely alien to people who live under repressive regimes which exist across the Middle East North Africa (MENA) region in particular Morocco. Admittedly though the cancellation of the hearing does go some way to making the issue go away.

This wide range of issues affected by Rihanna's tour highlights why her CIA handlers are afraid to even entertain the idea that the operation has failed and needs to be shut down. Put simply the Rihanna operation is the US' big play for 2013 so without it the US can't achieve any of it's objectives. As I've been telling the handlers for months that I know all this and I'm simply not going to allow it to happen this seems like incredibly bad planning on their part. However rather than accepting their mistake they are instead blaming me with a story of a man who went on a rampage in a bulldozer destroying homes and parts of the electricity grid near Seattle in Washington state. Meanwhile in the US capital of Washington DC the White House was briefly evacuated today after people reported seeing smoke coming out of a machine room. This is part of the long running global effort to stop people smoking tobacco. A large part of the reason is that being a neuro-stimulant tobacco smoking gives people pause to stop and think. Authoritarian governments don't like this because people who stop and think are much harder to control. The White House was chosen partly because the incident would be noticed but also to accuse President Obama of dithering by so far failing to give an order to either cancel the Rihanna operation or to let it proceed. The argument being that Obama's tobacco smoking is causing him to spend to long stopping and thinking rather than acting. Personally I think it's more of an inbuilt personality trait rather than the result of tobacco smoking.

Also the US has responded to the consensus that it was responsible for the collapse of a garment factory in Bangladesh that has so far killed 1053 people. This response came in the form of the start of a criminal investigation into the explosion at the West fertiliser factory in West in Texas and the arrest of one of the first responders to that explosion on unrelated possession of explosives offences. The first responder is expected to plead not guilty at the first part of his trial. However I should point out that this seems to be something the US has been forced into after the UK raised the issue through the credit rating agency Moodys' downgrade to junk status the Co-Operative (Co-Op) bank whose plan to by branches from Lloyds bank collapsed on the same day as the garment factory. This is actually a very complicated discussion that I will cover in more detail tomorrow when I can keep my eyes open. However the main motivation behind the move was the UK attempting to exert even more pressure on Bangladesh especially ahead of today's Pakistani election. Formally known as East-Pakistan Bangladesh clearly has an opinion about it. The dramatic rescue of Reshma Begum yesterday was obviously Bangladesh's coping strategy.

As for Rihanna herself she is still on the east coast of the US in New York City while Chris Brown is on the west coast of the US in California. However they have apparently been rowing through a series of private telephone calls and cryptic Twitter/Instagram postings. Although this does prompt a lot of discussion about Rihanna and Chris Brown's relationship or lack thereof and has clearly been triggered by the Andrew 'Bart' Simpson incident this strikes me as genuine. After all Rihanna and Chris Brown's renewed relationship has always been fake. Now the artificial influences holding the relationship together have been removed things have returned to their natural state. The natural state of most romantic (engineered or not) relationships ending is generally people yelling at each other. Although I'm never happy about Instagram I don't have a problem with this continuing during the tour break but it must stop before the tour resumes.

Also yesterday Rihanna was shown to be in a recording studio working with another Roc Nation artist. This was an attempt to promote discussion about what happens to Rihanna after this current tour ends. This tour and the Unapologetic album are being very damaging to Rihanna's reputation putting huge pressure on her to release another album to sort of clean the slate. However Rihanna also needs time off. Therefore the logical solution would be to end the tour after the Helsinki (28/7/13) to allow Rihanna to have time off and work on her comeback album.

The rows and arguments with Chris Brown are of course causing some tension within Rihanna's core tour/social group with some members being happy about the break-up and others being sad. The other big division within the core group is over me. Firstly this is because I pointed out that if I was travelling as part of the tour I would spend this break away from the group doing my own thing in order to let things calm down before the really stressful two month European leg begins. That's why I think Rihanna should have been given the home advantage of either California or even Barbados during the break. Obviously some within the group disagree with me but I should point out I haven't actually met any of these people.

The main tension I'm creating though is through my suggestion that Rihanna follows me on Twitter so we can send each other more discreet direct messages. Obviously some members of the group are hugely opposed to this. Therefore I should point out that while I won't be fooling anyone by claiming I'm not attracted to Rihanna with 40 people killed in car bombings in Turkey today my main priority is that there is a job of work to be done. If Rihanna could send me direct messages I could answer any questions she has about things like the Amanda Berry/Cleveland kidnapping case and the Andrew 'Bart' Simpson incident as soon as she asks them. Also she would be able to inform me straight away of when she's successfully passed through border controls or encountered problems. The main objection to this at the moment seems to be the fact that most people in the business have access to my Blackberry so although discreet direct messages wouldn't be secret. On the last point this would actually work to Rihanna's advantage because by informing me she would be informing everyone in the business with her location and travels without having to inform the whole wide world. Therefore Rihanna's handlers agreeing to this compromise would be a firm indicator that their Rihanna operation has been cancelled.

20:00 on 11/5/13.

The Tour Break: Day 3.

I know it's a poor joke but my timing couldn't have been better.

This morning I went up to the fracture clinic about my finger. Basically it's what we thought a simple fracture with no tendon damage, no nerve damage and no significant soft tissue or vascular damage. In fact when I was getting a new splint fitted I had to point out to the guy which of the fingers was the broken one. They're arranging another appointment for six weeks time and I've got to keep the splint on until then if I want the bone to set neatly. Then I went into town to get some exciting things like a new diary, underwear and a tie for this wedding.

In more important news last night the British Olympic medal winning sailor Andrew 'Bart' Simpson was killed when his catamaran owned by the Swedish team Artemis capsized in the San Francisco Bay while training for the America's Cup yacht race. Andrew Simpson was nicknamed 'Bart' after the Bart Simpson character in "The Simpsons" cartoon. Chris Brown who was in the San Francisco area at the time is said to be a huge fan of the Simpsons cartoon. Therefore the crash seems to be a Swedish and British effort to said a message to the US that their Chris Brown/Rihanna operation is no longer viable so they had better spend this break in Rihanna's tour considering what options are still open to them. The message quite simply being "Bart Simpsons' boat has sunk." However I don't think the intention was for Andrew Simpson to die during the incident.

Fortunately the US seem to at least be giving the impression that they've got that message and will be taking a break through the delay in the sentencing portion of the Jodie Arias trial. I've not been following this case but I gather Arias is a woman who murdered her boyfriend but claimed she was forced into it because of his domestic violence. Therefore in the metaphor Rihanna is Arias while Chris Brown is the boyfriend. In the typical US style of blaming the victim the story is intended to make Rihanna feel guilty for 'killing' Chris Brown by ruining his career by reporting the 2009 assault during which I believe that at one point he tried to bite her face off. Further insulting Rihanna in opera an Aria is a melodic piece often sung solo without accompaniment and is widely considered the true test of a vocalists ability. Although Rihanna is a soprano she's not that type of soprano but then has never claimed to be.

A further indication of how genuine the US is being in their efforts to take a break for quiet contemplation will be the prominence given to UK Prince Henry/Harry's visit to the US. You may remember that one of the intended objectives of the US leg of Rihanna's tour was to find how I was able to succeed against the embarrassment of Rihanna and Chris Brown reuniting in order to influence the outcome of the 2012 US Presidential election. Prince Harry's visit is supposed to look like the US informing their UK counterparts of what they learnt. However as everyone seems to have forgotten about that I guessing they didn't learn much.

One other thing that looks like it is about me and the Chris Brown/Rihanna operation is the news that the extradition hearing in the case of Abu Qatada has been halted because Qatada has said he is prepared to voluntarily leave the UK for Jordan once an agreement between the two nations has been implemented. Sadly this is not the case. Abu Qatada has always been the basis for a bilateral discussion between the UK and Jordan over Syria. The UK Prime Minister David Cameron is currently meeting with the Russian President Valdimir Putin to discuss the situation in Syria. The news about Qatada is intended to find out if the Russian support for the Geneva Communique expressed during US Secretary of State John Kerry's visit to Russia extends as far as an agreement that Syrian President Bashar al-Assad must step down. The hinted at connections to me are just an attempt to confuse matters.

15:50 on 10/5/13.

Operation Misery: Month 3, Week 1, Day 2.

On Tuesday (7/5/13) Rihanna played the final concert of the US leg of her Diamonds World Tour in Brooklyn, New York City. The main pressure ahead of the concert was the fall out from her disastrous concert in Boston the night before. This was made worse by my review of that concert that not only repeated what a stupid idea it was to keep her fans waiting for three hours in Boston but went on to explain that the political reasons why Rihanna had been instructed to do this were far more sinister than her CIA handlers had led her to believe. You can read that post entitled "Operation Misery: Month 2, Week 5, Day 2" below so I see no point in repeating myself.

The other major pressure ahead of the Brooklyn concert was the TV premiere of the video to the UK boyband "The Wanted" new single "Walks Like Rihanna." Although this video was only shown on UK TV it was trending on Twitter for most of the evening and was discussed on social media across the world. With the chorus of the song being; "She can't dance, she can't sing but she walks like Rihanna" this song is clearly intended to mock Rihanna. However the video attempted to disguise this by mocking a wide range of US boybands from the 1990's such as "New Kids on the Block," "Nsync" and "The Backstreet Boys" while generally mocking the US pop industry. The main target of the videos insult though seemed to be women in their twenties and thirties who still idolise boybands as if they were still teenagers. As these women make up the portion of The Wanted's fanbase with the most disposable income this raised questions about whether The Wanted were trying to do themselves out of a job. Towards the end of 2012 The Wanted recorded a song with Chris Brown but decided against releasing it in order to avoid damaging their reputations. Therefore the complete song and video package seemed to me to be the UK pop industry protesting about being asked to damage their reputations by working with Chris Brown. This obviously leads onto a discussion about the number of collaborations that Chris Brown has done with US (based) artists such as Pitbull and Nikki Minaj in order to give the impression that Chris Brown is viewed as a credible artist. The fact that the video for Pitbull's collaboration with Chris Brown "International Love" seems like a big joke at Chris Brown's expense suggests that even US artists and label mates are getting sick of performing this sort of charity work to help keep Chris Brown's career going. That is obviously an unsettling thought for Rihanna because even if you don't believe the rumours about them breaking up she clearly doesn't hold the level of malice towards him that would see her enjoy watching his career collapse.

Rihanna clearly didn't let this affect her performance arriving on stage at roughly her unofficial start time of 22:00 and delivering a vocally strong and capable performance of the usual set-list and costume changes. If I had to come up with a criticism of the performance and it is an effort I would say that Rihanna seemed dispassionate throughout. However this is not the same as saying she displayed the same aloofness that marked her performances in Atlantic City, Newark and Washington DC. In fact she seemed to be making a conscious effort to connect with her fans. After the Boston debacle it would be cynical to say this was simply a good business move but having watched Rihanna as she was doing this it struck me as genuine and highlights that the disregard she showed her fans in Boston was the result of orders from her CIA handlers rather than something Rihanna herself wanted to do.

The fact that the concert had been rescheduled from Saturday (4/5/13) meant that a lot of people who had VIP passes were unable to attend but being one of the finale shows in New York City celebrities such as Kylie Minogue, Katy Perry and Riccardo Tisci were in attendance but didn't appear to be invited backstage. The fact that Katy Perry and Rihanna kept their distance seems to suggest that while they are back on speaking terms they're clearly not as close friends as they once were. Following the concert Rihanna attended a party at the Greenhouse nightclub. This was supposed to be the album launch party for a rapper called Talib Kweli but Rihanna seemed to hijack it for an end of tour blowout.

That party seemed well deserved and I for one am most certainly celebrating the end of the US leg of Rihanna's tour. Not only does it mean that I get two and a half weeks off it also means I no longer have to worry about Rihanna performing a concert outside of my approximate time zone until September. In political terms this is amazing news because it means all of Rihanna's concerts will appear during what I term "economic slack water" - the three to four hours every day in which most of the global financial markets are closed. Up until now Rihanna's concerts - good or bad - have taken place during the opening of Asian markets putting great pressure on traders and financial institutions across the continent. Now that is over the chances of Rihanna p*ssing of people with lots of guns has been significantly reduced.

With the US phase of Rihanna's tour now over it would be a good time for her CIA handlers to stop, take a breath and assess whether or not their efforts have been in vain before deciding if it is worth continuing with the next phase of their plan. Unfortunately through things like the visit of UK Crown Prince Henry/Harry to the US, the upcoming meeting between US President Obama and UK Prime Minister Cameron and the ongoing Amanda Berry/Cleveland kidnap story show no sign of doing this. It's almost as if they're afraid that if they break the momentum of the operation they'll be forced to realise that it's already failed and they have no option other than to give up. The Amanda Berry/Cleveland kidnap story is of course intended to make us speculate widely about the whereabouts of Rihanna and mysterious, unidentified members of her core tour party (the kidnapped women) along with the whereabouts of Chris Brown and mysterious, unidentified members of his core group (the three brothers) along with salacious details of Rihanna and Chris Brown's sex life (whips, ropes, chains etc). As far as I can tell Chris Brown is currently on the west coast of the US in California while Rihanna is on the east coast in New York City where I hope she will eat something because annoyingly even her skin tight catsuit for the "Jump" act is looking a bit loose these days. Obviously though a lot of the drama of the tour break will come from speculation about whether they will remain in those locations and if they do the Amanda Berry/Cleveland kidnap story will develop into other things.

Although the US seem intent of keeping the momentum of the operation going other nations have used the opportunity of the tour break to give their verdict on the first phase of the operation. First up were those old Europeans Belgium and Switzerland who on Wednesday (8/5/13) arrested 31 people in connection with a diamond robbery in February. This was intended to encourage the US to continue by making it look like the Swiss and the Belgians were so confused by the Amanda Berry/Cleveland kidnap story that they'd been forced to put on their own confusing story in an effort to gather information. This of course was huge bluff and the fact that they story was phrased in terms of the arrest of a large criminal network was the Belgians and Swiss conceding that if the operation is going to go ahead something has to give either with the large criminal network surrounding Chris Brown or the large criminal network that has been trying to put pressure on me through threats of violence etc need to being shut down. Also encouraging the US to continue with the operation has been China through a story of a young girl (around 12) who murdered two of her class mates because they were more attractive than her. That is obviously a reference to the three mysterious, unidentified members of Rihanna's core tour party.

By contrast Brazil has encouraged the US to shut down the operation by openly mocking the suggestion that anyone is that confused or interested in the details of Rihanna and Chris Brown's sex life through a story of a woman who survived being shot in the throat with her husbands giant spear as he was cleaning his weapon. Australia has also discouraged the US from continuing with an Australian choreographer who spoke in Micheal Jackson's defence at his 2005 child-sex abuse trial changing his story and now admitting that Jackson did sexually abuse him. The message from Australia there being that they fully understand what is going on and are not prepared to help the US cover it up this time. This prompted quite an angry reaction from the US who responded by forcing the Australian authorities to search for two people who supposedly fell from the Carnival cruise ship "Spirit" as it docked in the infamous Circular Quay. This got the UK all confused so they responded with any story they can think of about people falling off things including a man who fell from a hotel balcony in Dubai back in April and man who fell from a hotel balcony in Cumbria, UK today.

Finally demonstrating how the Amanda Berry/Cleveland kidnap story can shift as needs must a lot of the talk on Tuesday (7/5/13) was about how "the women were allowed in the garden but only as far as the garage." The was the US trying to promote discussion about how far onto my property the local criminal network are allowed to encroach in order to intimidate me. By today this had shifted into a discussion about two of the Castro brothers being arrested and charged with minor offences such as having an open container of alcohol in a public place. That appears to be the US now suggesting that the local criminal network should be contained by British police opening a gang related murder investigation into my grandmother's death. That would allow them to pick up any and all suspected members of the gang. They would then be charged for any and all possible criminal offences not matter how minor and arraigned in Court for a trial to take place long after Rihanna's tour ends. They can then either be remanded in prison or placed on bail conditions that prevent them entering an exclusion zone around me or my property - the area of "Thornton Heath" would be an example but the area of "Croydon" would be preferable. If they break those bail conditions they would then be held in contempt of court and sent straight to prison. This is a pretty standard policing tactic that my associates and I deal with on a daily basis.

19:45 on 9/5/13.

Yeah I Broke My Finger.

In my last post I was complaining that I'd badly bruised my knuckle after an altercation with someone who was trespassing on my property. As I was going to bed I noticed that the discolouration and swelling weren't getting any better so I decided to go to hospital to get it checked while it was quiet. I know this sounds toadyish but but I was actually really impressed by the Accident and Emergency department at Croydon University Hospital (CUH). Although I was clearly not popular all of the staff at least managed to pretend to maintain a level of professionalism and I was dealt with in less then 90 minutes despite being at the absolute bottom of the triage list just one above a complete time waster.

Anyway after me and a nurse practitioner spent a while poking and prodding the affected digit I went for an x-ray. Long story short I have broken the distal phalanx (tip) of my left middle finger. While this is a significantly bigger break than a hair-line fracture it hasn't gone all the way through the bone. Therefore it should heal up quite quickly and once the soft tissue damage heals it shouldn't be too much of a problem. I have though got to go to the fracture clinic on Friday (10/5/13) so they can tell me there's not much they can do about so I've just got to keep the splint on and wait for it to heal.

11:30 on 8/5/13

Operation Misery: Month 2, Week 5, Day 2.

On Monday (6/5/13) Rihanna played her highly controversial Boston concert. Although simply appearing in the city so soon after the marathon bombings  should have been stressful enough for Rihanna and damaging enough to her reputation Rihanna's CIA handlers were hard at work increasing the pressure on her and further linking her to the terrorist attack.

Primarily this involved a Court hearing for Robel Phillipos - the US citizen who had been charged with assisting the suspected marathon bombers after the attack took place. As Phillipos has always been intended to be a metaphor for Chris Brown the fact that he was released on USD100,000 bail bond, forced to wear an electronic tag and been confined to his mothers home was supposed to be interpreted as a sign that Chris Brown will face similar restrictions while awaiting trial for multiple criminal offences.  The accompanying news that Tarmalan Tsarnaev's mother intends to return him to his place of birth (Russia) for burial was intended to look like an attempt to promote discussion about whether Chris Brown will be allowed to remain in his state of residence (California) or whether he will be returned to his state of birth (West Virginia) while awaiting trial. However as it was extremely unlikely that the charges against Phillipos were simply going to be dropped the fact he has been released on bail rather then being remanded in custody was actually a sign that the CIA handlers have no intention of lifting their protection of Chris Brown because they either consider the operation to still be viable or don't want to lose face by admitting that it's not.

Next came the news that 1990's pop-star Lauryn Hill has been sent to prison for tax evasion. Rihanna has been under investigation by the Inland Revenue Service (IRS) for the best part of three years over tax evasion allegations relating to Berdon LLP's mismanagement of her financial affairs. Therefore the imprisoning of Lauryn Hill for the same offence that Rihanna is being investigated for was a naked threat to Rihanna that unless she obeys she too will be put in prison. However it must be said that as long as Rihanna's handlers know that the IRS investigation will make her compliant there is no chance of the IRS investigation ending.

Then - just after I went to bed - the news broke that Amanda Berry (a US woman who has been missing since 2003) had been found safe and well living with two other missing women and three men in a house a few streets away from where she went missing in Cleavland, Ohio, US. Although the three men who were immediately arrested were hispanic they were brothers which is slang for black men. When you smoke as much marijuana as Rihanna does the name "Amanda Berry" sounds like the phrase; "A man to bury." Therefore the news that the US has got 'a man to bury' and three brothers had been arrested for holding a woman prisoner was intended to be interpreted as further indication that Rihanna was the prisoner and the US now intends to kill or imprison Chris Brown and three further mystery men over her treatment. Putting aside the fact that Rihanna is still clearly hopelessly devoted to Chris Brown it is never nice to hear yourself referred to as "the victim."

As Berry and the two other women appeared to have been living in a crowded residential area they knew well for 10 years without attempting to escape this story promotes discussion about the phenomenon by which during long periods of captivity prisoners form an emotional attachment to their highly abusive captors. This is commonly known as 'Stockholm Syndrome' although that is not recognised as a scientific term is psychology circles. The fact that Berry's 'escape' can right on schedule with me going to bed and Rihanna's concert preparations further highlights that Berry had been colluding with her captors and that her captors were being protected from local law enforcement by people high up in the US Establishment. The manufactured emotional attachment between an abuse victim and their victim has an obvious relevance to Rihanna's relationship with Chris Brown and the story will no doubt develop into a discussion about how Berry/Rihanna can be de-programmed/rehabilitated.

However this type of collaboration between captive and captor is also hugely relevant to the current hunger-strike taking place at Guantanamo Bay. What is happening there is that the actual CIA and the detainees have got together to create this 'crisis' in order to put pressure on President Obama to close Guantanamo Bay. This detainees motivation for this is pretty obvious - after all being in Guantanamo these days is actually pretty boring. The CIA's role is more complicated. The key sticking point to the closure of Guantanamo is the return of 8 detainees to Yemen. Yemen is of course the home base of Al Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula (AQAP) who supposedly run the online magazine "Inspire" that taught the Tsarnaev brothers how to build the Boston marathon bombs. As the Guantanamo hunger-strike began the week before the marathon bombings the CIA is clearly very keen for the issue of AQAP to be discussed however I've avoided commenting on it because I do not think it would be appropriate to do so on the world wide web and I have not suddenly changed my mind. Needless to say though by pushing the issue for such wide discussion the CIA clearly doesn't want the men returned to Yemen so they can be used as double agents in order to weaken AQAP.

While the Amanada Berry story was developing the documentary on Rihanna's 777 Tour aired on the FOX network in the US. Although I haven't looked I suspect this generated quite a response on social media - some good, some bad. After all apart from costing Rihanna a small fortune (USD300,000 in airport fines in the UK alone) it p*ssed off a lot of people including national governments some of whom have their armies of Internet trolls.

As for Rihanna's concert itself it was a disaster. Rihanna eventually arrived on stage some three hours late. That is her usual one hour of lateness plus two further hours. Over the sound of booing those fans who bothered to stay until Rihanna took to the stage got to seen her lazily work her way through the usual set-list and costume changes. In the absence of any apology from Rihanna or her people we are left speculating whether the delay was caused by Rihanna getting stressed out by all the drama or whether Rihanna was simply sulking because the concert meant she was unable to go to Vogue magazine's Met Ball fashion party.
Neither of these things are true because no-one can be that stupid or that stoned.  Instead Rihanna was three hours late on stage simply because her handlers told her to be three hours late. They no doubt told her and their political masters that this was necessary because the angry response would help the discussion about security at the Morocco (24/5/13) concert while the discussion about whether the emotional stress of the angry reaction would force Rihanna back into Chris Brown's arms would help save women in Islamic societies from forced marriage and honour killing.

At 20:55 on 7/5/13 there's plenty more but I need a cigarette so let's consider this part 1.

Edited at 21:15 on 7/5/13.

The real reason Rihanna's CIA handlers instructed her to take to the stage three hours late was of course to increase the tension at today's international conference on the future of Somalia held in London, UK. The idea being that by increasing the tension the US would be able to help the UK gain increased control over Somalia. From a US perspective this is an incredibly stupid thing to do because Somalia sits across the Gulf of Aden from Yemen. As Yemen is effectively a client state of Saudi Arabia if Somalia were to become a UK client state the close allegiance between the UK and Saudi Arabia would allow the two nations to close the Gulf of Aden and with it the Suez Canal allowing the UK and Saudi Arabia to hold the global economy to ransom in the same way Iran threatens to do by closing the Strait of Hormuz. Also UK control of Somalia would allow it to be better able to control the smuggling routes for timber and vital minerals (like Diamonds) out of the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC) and the Central African Republic (CAR). From a humanitarian perspective this would make the already dire situations in those nations even worse. From a tactical perspective it would make the US dependent on the UK for access to the minerals which are as vital to the modern global economy as oil. Therefore while there are more traditional ways to deal with them I think the US actually has a very good chance of securing treason convictions against those running the Rihanna/Chris Brown operation.

Demonstrating the level of collusion between the US and the UK over the Amanda Berry case the UK was today all ready to go with its own version. This revolved around the collapse of a trial against four men accused of keeping men in servitude/slavery at a gypsy/traveller site in Berkshire, UK in September 2011 after the Jury failed to reach a verdict. One of the key problems with the prosecution is that many of the victims refused to testify against the accused and some even went as far as to thank them for their treatment. This of course also reflects the manufactured emotional attachment between a captive and their captor that is at the heart of the Amanda Berry case. Just to add an extra level of confusion later in the day a different Court imposed prison sentences against two men who had already been convicted of the same offence in the same case but were being tried separately for reasons that are in no way clear.

The UK followed this up with the Jury in the trial of Mark Bridger over the abduction of April Jones being shown a one hour recorded interview with one of the child eye witnesses. The April Jones abduction is of course the UK's way of discussing Rihanna reuniting with Chris Brown in a nightclub toilet in October 2012. The one hour video recording was obviously a reference to the 777 Tour documentary. Therefore this development was a way of finding out if any of the delegates had actually bothered to watch the documentary. It was also intended to raise the question of why Rihanna has so far refused to give evidence against Chris Brown. That question was intended to be a test of the intelligence of the delegates to see whether they understand the nature of Rihanna and Chris Brown's relationship. After all while that is well understood in intelligence/psychology circles in the developed world the Somali government has probably got a few other things to worry about at the moment.

As the attachment between an abuse victim and their abuser is always relevant to discussions about the UK Commonwealth the UK Queen also took the opportunity to announce that she won't be attending this years Commonwealth summit. This gave the Commonwealth delegates at the Somalia summit a code base to have discussions about things like Royal succession while at the same time testing the loyalty of the Commonwealth nations with particular attention being paid to Kenya and Rwanda. It also raised the question of whether it would be acceptable for the new Somali government to apply to become a Commonwealth member.

The UK's big play though was the start of the trial of Stuart Hazell for the murder of Tia Sharp a 12 year old girl who was murdered in right near me in Croydon, UK just before the 2012 London Olympics. The opening arguments centred very heavily on the fact that Tia's body had been discovered in the loft/attic of her grandmother's home. My father and I are currently in the process of clearing out the loft/attic of my grandmother's home. In an effort to increase the pressure on me the UK has been spreading rumours that my grandmother's loft/attic is full of very valuable things in an effort to encourage local criminals to break in. Unfortunately it isn't and all the stuff is going straight from the loft/attic into the car and then from the car into the city dump so any criminals will be better off breaking into the local landfill site. However the opening arguments of the trial also focused on the fact that a large amount of child pornography had been found in Hazell's home. This raises the possibility that MI5 could actually break into my house and plant incriminating evidence such as child pornography. Of course in order to achieve a prosecution this way the UK would then have to clear a number of legal hurdles such as probable cause for a search and reasonable doubt off the top of my head. That obviously tests the intelligence of delegates at the Somalia conference to find out if they understand these legal principles and whether they value them. Obviously the UK would much rather work with a Somali government that doesn't.

All this talk of people breaking into my home to steal/add things obviously massively raised the tension of my traditional Tuesday night trip to the local pub where I could be beaten up by big, scary men at any point. Here the UK actually made quite a slick move because the Somali conference actually finished about two hours before I was scheduled to go to the pub. This allowed the UK to claim to the delegates who are still in the UK under the same level of stress that all this wasn't intended to target them but to target the meeting in Russia between US Secretary of State and his Russian opposite number. Therefore the delegate would be much better off forming an allegiance with the UK rather then the US because the UK is smart and knows how to play the US for fools.

Of course I largely avoided this by simply not going to the pub primarily because I've actually been really busy. However with so much staked on there being drama surrounding my personal safety and security the local little nigger network simply sent someone around to my house. So as I was having a cigarette outside as their Russian press conference was wrapping up I came across I heavily set gentleman of a Ghanaian persuasion rooting around deep in my back garden. Obviously I've got a feeling I might be having this read back to be in Court at some point so let us just say he left on his knees with nothing worse than severely damaged pride. I ended up with what is actually developing into quite a nasty bruise on one of my knuckles. I would pursue him for assault but he'll have an army of police officers to back him up. Hence the term "little nigger."

21:55 on 7/5/13.