COP21 Terrorism Update #10.

It has now been confirmed that the Los Angeles Unified School District terror threat was in fact a hoax.

Apparently a series of poorly spelt emails were sent to districts across the US threatening a mass casualty attack perpetrated by multiple Islamic extremists using chemical agent hidden in luggage such as backpacks hidden across multiple cities.

From New York City heading west this threat was received and immediately determined to be a hoax. Right until it hit Los Angeles apparently.

It appears that the ISP in the email header has been traced back to Frankfurt, Germany. Obviously I don't want to give away spoilers but this seems to be a reference to the - most recent - Season 5 of the US TV Show "Homeland."

If you've not seen it this season is set in Berlin, Germany and takes its central premise from the antics of highly decorated CIA operative Edward Snowden.

Essentially both the CIA and their German equivalent the Federal Intelligence Service (BND) get into a lot of trouble after a computer hacker reveals that the BND have been working around Germany's famous privacy laws by getting the CIA to illegally intercept German electronic communications such as cellphone calls an emails.

This is of course not the first time that this season of Homeland has hit the headlines;

In the second episode - "The Tradition of Hospitality" - the central character "Carrie Mathison" - now working in the private sector for the German "During Foundation" travels to a camp hosting Syrian refugees in Lebanon.

Shot entirely in Germany the show's production staff employed Syrian refugees who had themselves found asylum in Germany to dress the set with authentic Arabic graffiti. These ametuer artists used this opportunity to sneak in phrases criticising the show and felt jolly proud of their work.

Clearly they hadn't realised that the show's creator - Gideon Raff - is an Israeli and therefore both speaks and reads Arabic as if it was his native language. It also turns out that the show is not afraid of an in joke.

Things began to escalate though when Turkish President/Prime Minister/Emperor Recep Tayyip Erdogan or one of his acolytes realised that one of the supporting characters was a journalist named "Laura Sutton."

So Turkey's National Intelligence Organisation (MIT) decided to murder a real-life British journalist "Jacky Sutton" in Istanbul International Airport on October 17th (17/10/15) in scenes that were reminiscent of Season 4 of Homeland.

The intention being to provoke a reaction for the UK in order to generate support for Erdogan's re-election bid by fuelling the grand conspiracy theory that the entire world is engaged in one vast Islamaphobic conspiracy to prevent Erdogan from taking up his holy duty of eternal ruler of the new Islamic Empire.

Fortunately the UK didn't rise to the bait even if I doubt the Wood Green massive will be bitching for Toulon.

Sadly though Erdogan did find himself re-elected.

I don't think it is much of a spoiler to say that Season 5 of Homeland builds towards a looming terrorist attack. After all that is the plot of all four previous seasons of Homeland.

However in the episode broadcast on UK Channel 4 on Sunday (13/12/14) I was particularly drawn to a scene between two of the regular characters shot in an anonymous hallway that could well have been the production office. Referring to the looming terror attack one roughly said to the other;

"No-one wants to see a repeat of Paris."

I like to think that we live in a world where this was a hasty re-shoot to reference the November 13th (13/11/15) Paris Massacres.

Harder to explain is a scene shot in a similarly anonymous office in which we were reminded that the bombing at the CIA HQ in Season 2 occurred on December 12th (12/12). This seemed intended as a reminder that the plan for the COP21 agreement had been put in place a long time in advance.

Rather then dealing with industry insiders I personally think that they were getting show envy from the Working Title production "London Spy" which was shown on UK BBC2 in five episodes starting on November 9th (9/11/15).

From the "Law & Order" style disclaimer that the follow depicts no person living or dead London Spy was clearly based on the case of Gareth Williams - the so-called "Body in the Bag Spy."

However told from the perspective of the deceased's gay lover the show quickly extrapolated from that central premise to become an elaborate conspiracy to f*ck with my head in the run-up to COP21.

For example there was a lot of homosexual male sex in it. Not only that but this sex was so graphic that you feel that if it was heterosexual sex not even BBC2 would have got away with broadcasting at 9pm on a Monday. It is the sort of thing you would feel distinctly uncomfortable watching with you father.

Personally I though found the scenes which the young boyfriend (AKA: "Me") shared with the older, gay, Cold War veteran, platonic, father figure played by Jim Broadbent much more uncomfortable to watch with my father. After all I've seen so much gay porn it's embarrassing.

Then of course there was the episode when the young boyfriend discovered that much like Charlie Sheen MI6 has infected him with HIV/AIDS in order to discredit him.

This was trailed by a short scene in the preceeding episode in which "The Wire's" Clarke Peters playing a CIA agent gave him a single Truvada pill as a warning of what was to come. Unfortunately the boyfriend mistook the Peters character for a MI6 agent, tore up his business card and sealed his fate.

During the course of the HIV episode the Broadbent character tells the young boyfriend about how one of his friends had died during the first wave of AIDS in the 1980's. The resounding message was about learning to; "Accept the Certainty of Defeat."

The big theme of the story though was that the murdered spy had devised a theory that was; "Going to Change the World." However the World's major intelligence agencies - weirdly Saudi Arabia was included in this - had met and decided this theory could never be allowed so the super-spy had to be murdered.

The young boyfriend though did manage to receive a copy of this world changing theory and posted out copies to everyone he could think of.

Unfortunately MI6 intercepted all the copies and sent them back to the handsome young boyfriend. However when he opened the package every single copy of this world changing theory had been replaced with blank pages.

If you've read the draft of the COP21 agreement that I posted online on November 30th (30/11/15) alongside the final 12/12 agreement this seems a rather apt metaphor of US President Obama's death text.

Of course the really traumatic thing is that the young boyfriend was played by Ben Wishaw. In the latest round of James Bond Movies he's mere Q-branch.

Elsewhere in response to Obama's death text the Australians have suddenly decided to class the f*ck up.

On Monday (14/12/15) they banned the sale of various "Nurofen" Ibuprofen products. Apparently much like the Paris agreement it doesn't do anything like what is says on the tin.

Then later in the day they announced that apparently their cattle farms aren't releasing as much methane into the atmosphere as previously thought. Methane is of course the most potent greenhouse gas (ghg). However unlike carbon dioxide it is a reactive gas meaning that it soon breaks down into non-ghg compounds rather then just sitting there for all eternity.

Apparently the confusion was caused by the fact that previous ghg inventories had been based on studies of dairy cattle. It turns out beef cattle fart less.

This seems to be a reference to a speech that former California, US Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger (AKA: "The Terminator") gave to a COP21 side event on Tuesday (8/12/15) in which he urged the world to go vegan to save us from the Methane emissions produced by cattle farming.

The Australian message appears to be that; "There's plenty of room for more meat in that agreement mate."

That is of course Aussie for; "Classing it up."

Meanwhile an Airline from Japan - as in the Kyoto Protocol - has announced that it reviewing flights to Paris, France in light of all the atrocities.

Therefore US authorities are currently investigatiing reports of a "suspicious package" aboard a flight in Miami, Florida.

Before I go - seeing as it is Panto season - I should mention "Cinderella."

Apparently there is something so universal about a tale of a woman being rescued from endless chores to go live in luxury with a Prince that there was like 900 versions of this story being told in many languages in many cultures all completely unconnected to each other long before Hans Christian Andersen wrote it down and claimed the copyright.

It was his version that was the first to mention the glass slipper. Apparently he mis-translated the Medieval word "Viar" meaning "fur" with the word "Verre" meaning "Glass."

I have been waiting for like 10 years to find a way to finally work that into a conversation!

00:35 on 16/12/15 (UK date).