Well This Is Awkward.

Yesterday (29/5/15) Jordan's Prince Ali bin al-Hussein in effect forced a vote of no confidence in FIFA President Sepp Blatter. This failed rather dramatically with Prince Ali only scrapping 1/3rd of the vote and falling far short of the 2/3rds majority required.

Having created the nation of Jordan and therefore the Jordanian Royal Family back in 1922 the UK is utterly furious about this and is currently stomping it's feet, snarling and looking for any excuse to withdraw from World football in protest as what it sees as "corruption."

In the meantime though today sees the grand final of the English Football Association (FA) Cup. From next year this will be known as the "Emirates Cup" after the Dubai's Sovereign Wealth Fund "Investment Corporation of Dubai" paid GBP30m (USD4.5million) for the competition.

On a completely unrelated note Arsenal who play at the Emirates Stadium are considered the hot favourites to win the competition.

Mind you their opponents Aston Villa aren't exactly over-blessed with credibility themselves having staged a mini-riot at their Birmingham ground during the quarter-finals in an effort to embarrass US President Obama during the Selma anniversary march. Then of course there's Bradford whose 'magical' cup run really helped draw attention to George Galloway's re-election battle in the Bradford West seat.

Actually, thinking about it, I'm pretty sure Emirates only made their offer in an effort to underline that this is just a participation trophy we hand out every year to convince the lesbians that they're still a big club.

11:20 on 30/5/15 (UK date).

Edited at around 19:35 on 30/5/15 (UK date) to add;

When I write about FIFA World Cup matches I find myself writing about football. When I write about English football I find myself writing about the political message that has been prepared for the consumption of the masses. With the FIFA election yesterday and today's English and Spanish cup finals it was almost as if the script had been written for a perfect trifector of this messaging.

The UK obviously supported Jordan's Prince Ali because they thought they could control him. This is what brought him votes from the UK Commonwealth nations such as Canada, Australia and New Zealand. Qatar and their allies obviously supported Prince Ali for exactly the same reason.

Unfortunately Qatar's Sovereign Wealth Fund "Qatar Investment Authority" do not have a presence in English football but are the title sponsors of the Spanish side Barcelona who are playing in the Spanish cup final. As a result Dubai's Sovereign Wealth Fund had to stand in for Qatar with their sponsorship of Arsenal.

Arsenal are an absolutely massive club to Britain's foreign intelligence agency MI6. Across west Africa Arsenal's nickname "The Gunners" is seen as really butch and macho attracting many people to their supporters association which provides an effective way to run West African agents. The joke is that due to their highly successful women's team in more economically advanced nations Arsenal are used to represent lesbians - some of whom like to think of themselves as really butch and macho but will never be real men.

The problem for MI6 is that in top-flight football Arsenal are at best also-rans. So every year they're handed either the FA Cup or the League Cup to allow their fans to feel like their achieving something. This has got so blatant the Investment Corporation of Dubai are now sponsoring both Arsenal and the competition so there can be no denying that it is Arsenal's competition. Arsenal's designated victims this year were Aston Villa who are owned by an American "Randy Learner" and whose most famous fan is FA patron Prince William.

Therefore if Prince Ali had been elected FIFA President I would have expected Aston Villa to hold off Arsenal all the way through normal time and extra-time before defeating them on penalties. That way when Qatar were spraying themselves with champagne after winning in Spain the UK would still be able to make it clear to the world that they were controlling Prince Ali and would be imposing penalties on Qatar over the 2022 World Cup in the hope of quelling calls for them to be stripped of the competition. After all of the Gulf Monarchies Jordan and the UAE are certainly the least crazy. In fact the UK frequently holds up Jordan as an example of how it is civilising the savages.

Despite Prince Ali being defeated both sides stuck to this script for almost the entire first half with Arsenal's strikers working very hard to hit everything except the back of the net. Then Theo Walcott had a bit of a rush of blood to the head in the 40th minute and scored. Although a good player Walcott is prone to injury so a lot of people have been questioning whether it's worth paying him tens of thousands of pounds a week to sit in the stands and watch his teammates play football. He clearly thought that scoring a stunning goal in the FA cup final would help him with his contract negotiations.

Walcott got this calculation very badly wrong because Aston Villa have not scored against Arsenal this season losing, I think, 3-0, 5-0 and 3-0 on the three occasions they met. As a result Walcott's goal meant it would take a piece of epic and blatant match fixing to get the game back on script. I think the situation was summed up by the reactions of Walcott's teammates. Walcott went to embrace, I think, Cazorla who rather then embracing Walcott back put his hand over his mouth and whispered something in Walcott's ear. It was at this moment the bottom appeared to drop out of Walcott's world.

After a very tense start to the second half Sanchez appeared to go; "F*ck it, we're in trouble anyway - we may as well do it in style" and scored in the 50th minute. Arsenal went on to win 4-0. So if the Qatar Investment Authority go on to win in Spain - as seems likely - it should be extremely clear to everyone who is running the English FA.

With Prince Ali falling at the first I would have been tempted to rely on Aston Villa's nickname "The Villains" to change the script and hand them the win to make it a message about Blatter's villain's defeating the heroic Prince Ali. But then I think too much had already been staked on Prince William's status as an Aston Villa fan.

20:15 on 30/5/15 (UK date).