The 2015 Eurovision Song Contest: The Stand Outs.

In what I really hope will be my final post on the 2015 Eurovision Song Contest I'm going to look at some of the stand-out acts. These are the acts that while they may not have succeeded in addressing the main political themes of the contest either expressed a valid political point of their own or produced such an impressive performance they were impossible to ignore.

Greece: In political terms Greece are actually the hottest ticket in Europe at the moment. Obviously there are the knife-edge negotiations over their economy which sees them threatening to quit the European Union (EU) on an almost daily basis. To many of the smaller, eastern-European Eurovision nations who are all clambering over one another in order to join the EU in the hope of improving their economic fortunes this sounds like utter madness.

Although they have stumbled significantly since the election of the SYRIZA coalition Greece's economic problems are still nowhere near as bad as Ukraine's. Despite the fact that the US is refusing to allow the EU to put pressure on Ukraine's Nazis in order to solve Ukraine's problems and is forcing the EU to trash its own economy by imposing sanctions on Russia it still expects the EU to foot the bill for Kiev's insane war against reality. Greece is one of the EU nations that has of course resisted calls for tougher sanctions on Russia much to the anger of the US.

Going back to the EU ascension issue Greece has actually long blocked it's neighbour Macedonia's attempts to join the EU over objections to its name. The Greek province that borders Macedonia is also called Macedonia. As such Greece are concerned that Macedonia the country may try and lay claim to Macedonia the province. In short Greece is worried that Macedonia might try and do to them what Albania appears to be trying to do to Macedonia.

Then of course there is the EU's migrant crisis. Although the spring season has shifted much of the focus of this horrific issue on to the Mediterranean and Italy and Malta, Greece is also facing an up-stoppable tide of what are legitimate refugees from the myriad of conflicts that are going on in the Levant - just across the Adriatic and Mediterranean Seas. To this day even amongst close EU allies the "Blue Sky M" incident remains something that is only discussed in whispered tones by shadowy men and women.

As such pretty much everybody at Eurovision included some little reference to Greece that would allow them to join in the conversation. Some included elements of Greek architecture such as Greek Columns but most went for tribal/Celtic tattoos and tattoo-style designs.

Although the modern Irish and Welsh probably have the best claim to this heritage there never was a Celtic tribe to descend from. Instead there was a Celtic language which was spoken across parts of ancient Europe all the way from Ireland in the west to the Balkans in the east. People often forget that Greece is the largest of the Balkan nations. People who spoke the Celtic language very freely shared ideas and cultural traditions with the other tribes who they came into contact. So what may be considered "Celtic" in Ireland would be considered "Hellenic" meaning "Greek" in a places like Macedonia  It must be said though that prehistoric tribal art is not the most sophisticated of genres.

Despite their international significance within Greece there is only one topic of conversation and it has been the same topic of conversation since 2008 - the economy. Although it references the way that the Greek people feel they have been mistreated by the EU their song "One Last Breath" is essentially Greece begging to remain part of the EU no matter what their current idiot finance minister may say. It even includes the lyric; "I’m begging you take me out of this firing hell."

The song was performed by "Maria Elena Kyriakou" who was born in Cyprus which on the centenary of the Armenian genocide seemed intended to send a strong message to Turkey over their invasion and occupation of northern Cyprus. Kyriakou is also a mother of three which touches both on the way every day Greek families have been impacted by the economic crisis and the Dutch theme of female sexuality as women age.

Most impressively though she is a professor of Hellenic culture and humanities (history & geography) which makes her an extremely useful person to have on hand given all the references to Hellenic culture. It also though touches on Greece's extremely lavish higher education subsidies. While I don't think an accident of birth should ever be a barrier to a talented person receiving an higher education if you're a country where everybody has a PHD but you can't pay your bills there might be some scope for reform.

Aside from a song and a video each act is required to record a short film known as a "Postcard" that is shown just before they take to the stage and is supposed to illustrate something about the artist, the nation they represent, the nation they're performing in or whatever. Greece's postcard showed Kyriakou helping disadvantaged children as part of an after school program which is something she does in real life. The task she was helping these particular children perform was building a model boat. This referenced the-EU's migrant crisis but also south-east Asia/Australia's far nastier migrant crisis where children are often trafficked to work as child labourers/slaves.

Australia: Due to it being the Song Contest's 60th birthday Australia were given special permission to perform as reward for their outstanding commitment to the contest. Seriously, despite it being shown at dawn and them not usually being allowed to participate Australia has some of the most committed Eurovision fans in the World. However I think it's fair to assume that the nation that gave us "Baz Luhrmann" is more interested in the high camp and glittery silliness of the contest rather then the hardcore politics.

Australia's entry "Tonight Again" fully acknowledged this with lyrics such as; "Oh Everyone’s got their problems [...] Oh but tonight we aint gotta solve them" while making it clear that Australia still wants to do the whole thing again next year. Although we can debate his artistic pedigree - and at Eurovision someone always will - "Guy Sebastian" is undoubtedly the biggest gun that Australia have got at the moment being the most successful male artist in Australian chart history. So no-one can accuse Australia of not taking the competition seriously.

If Australia does truly want to come back next year they will have to formally join the European Broadcasting Union (EBU). Part of that membership involves them signing up to the Euro News pool. A familiar term to TV journalists this means that if there is a big story in a member nation such as a natural disaster or an election the designated news outlet - ironically in the UK that's "ITN" who produce the terrible "ITV News" - have to make at least part of their coverage available to all broadcasters in the EBU. That coverage is often also broadcast on the "EuroNews" channel which although it has toned it down in recent years is often just as delightfully bonkers as the song contest itself. This news pool of course plays a vital role in making sure that all the Eurovision nations at least have a vague idea about each other's political issues.

I must say though that despite not being members of the news pool Australia didn't actually do too badly on the political front. As with most Australians Sebastian is 100% immigrant coming from a background that includes English, Scottish, Portuguese and Sri Lankan heritage. He was also born in Malaysia which references Malaysia Airlines flight MH370 - the search for which has cost Australia a lot of time and money. It also references the shooting down of MH17 over Ukraine which killed 27 Australia nationals and led to Australian Prime Minister Abbott seeming to threaten to punch Russian President Putin which struck me as unwise for a whole host of reasons.  

The tone of Sebastian's skin could also lead to him being confused with one of Australia's native Aborigines  such as "Jessica Mauboy" who was granted observer status at last year's competition. This of course brings up the fact that Australia is a nation of immigrants (and convicts) and in turn its own migration crisis. For a long time I've avoided comparing Australia and the EU's migrant issues because I see them as more defined by their differences then by their similarities. There is though certainly a benefit to having the discussion if only to identify the differences.

Israel: It can't have escaped anyone's memory that on January 9th 2015 (9/1/15) an Islamic terrorist walked into a Kosher supermarket in Paris, France and murdered 4 people simply for being Jewish. This year Israel were represented by "Nadav Guedj" who was born in France but moved to Israel as a young child when his parents decided to emigrate.

As part of his campaign be re-elected as Prime Minister of all of "God's Chosen People" Israeli Prime Minister "Benjamin Netanyahu" immediately travelled to France to repatriate the remains of the victims to Israel. At the memorial service Netanyahu recommended that all of France's golden boys and girls immediately return with him to Israel so he could show them Tel Aviv and protect them. This type of journey is referred to as "Aliyah" or "Ascent" and amongst Zionist Jews is considered a religious duty similar to Muslim's duty to make a pilgrimage to Mecca.

Although shocking the Paris attacks didn't come as much of a surprise because anti-semitism has been on the rise across the Eurovision area for a good number of years now and the song contest has provided something of a barometer of this. In the old days when voting was the exclusive domain of secret juries which had foreign ministries and intelligence agencies on speed dial Israel's fortunes in Eurovision were a very subtle, complex and precise affair.

For example if Israel did something aggressive like invading a neighbour even a very strong entry would do very badly but if Israel did something nice like agreeing to peace negotiations a very poor entry could do very well. With the inclusion of public voting - particularly from nations like Ukraine and Hungary - all this subtly and precision has disappeared to be replaced with a roar of "Kill the Jews!" In fact Israel have indicated that as a result of this blatant anti-semitisim 2015 could be their last year in the song contest.

About halfway through the song "Golden Boy" breaks into very Turkish-style music. In the centenary year of the Armenian genocide Turkey are not the most popular nation in Eurovision. However under "Recep Tayyip Erdogan" the relationship between Turkey and Israel has become extremely bad. Essentially Erdogan has been backing the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIL) in Syria and backing the Muslim Brotherhood in Egypt who have been running weapons to Hamas in Gaza causing the 2014 Gaza war.

During that war "Jews, Jews to the Gas!" became a very popular chant in Turkey and members of Erdogan's own AK party made a point of being photographed drinking "Fanta" to show their support for Hitler and Nazi Germany. During the song contest Turkey shipped rings bearing ISIL's logo to Gaza and the West Bank in a clear signal that they hope ISIL sprout roots there too.

So in this sequence the "Golden Boy" of the title could well have been interpreted as a big dig at Erdogan and his huge - and judging by Turkey's absence this year - extremely delicate ego.

Israel is indisputably the most gay friendly nation in the middle-east and Tel Aviv is it's gay capital. Whenever Israel is trying to boost it's reputation internationally or simply attract tourists it very much puts this fact front and centre. This has led to anti-Israeli Boycott, Divestement, Sanctions (BDS) protesters making accusations of so-called "Pink-washing" - essentially using Israel's support for gay-rights as a way to distract from or even justify their often extreme mis-treatment of the Palestinians.

In fact during the contest (18/5/15) the "Vancouver Queer Film Festival" changed their rules to ban national symbols after a Jewish group circulated flyers that showed the Star of David imposed on the Rainbow flag of gay pride to make it resemble the Israeli flag. With nations such as Latvia and Lithuania trying to use gay-rights as a way to whip up anti-Russian hatred this seemed an extremely valid topic for conversation this year.

Although it was difficult to convey on stage in the video Guedj is seen addressing a large crowd at what is presumably a music festival in what we are led to believe is Tel Aviv. However it could easily have been mistaken for one of those mass rallies that Netanyahu himself addressed in Tel Aviv just before Prime Minister Rabin was assassinated by ultra-nationalists. As Israel's demographics have shifted towards more and more people being born in the country rather then migrating in from elsewhere the country has begun to develop - what would be described in the UK as - a distinctly "chavvy" working class. Although I doubt few of them are experts in the Torah many of these ultra-nationalists take great pride in their status as "Gods Chosen People" and these golden boys can often been seen marching through streets chanting "Death to Arabs!"

So I actually happen to think that Israel's entry was particularly strong this year. For example the golden, winged trainers that Guedj wore during his performance could well have been interpreted as a reference to the Greek god "Hermes" although he is often mistaken - by Americans - for the Greek goddess "Nike." I gather Nike has been banned by ISIL who find the sight of her "Swoosh" to be far too sexually suggestive. Also while it may have been a carefully considered public relations (PR) stunt Israel's entry was certainly not afraid of raising difficult questions about Israel itself.

I couldn't help but notice that in the voting Israel gave the maximum 12 points to Italy. With an entry paying homage to Italy's achievements in classical/operatic music, "New Wave" cinema, fashion and - let's be honest - serious and organised crime this struck me as an extremely viable alternative to the great Sweden V Russia p*ssing contest.

As a little aside I should point out that 17 years ago in 1998 Israel actually won with "Dana International" - a post-transition transgendered woman. Therefore I think "Bruce Jenner" and the entire "Kardashian" clan would be more then welcome at Eurovision. Just as long as they don't expect anyone to raise any eye-brows.

As another aside I should point out that during the 2014 Gaza war I obviously watched a lot of Israeli Defence Force (IDF) videos on YouTube. Every time a video would end it was recommended that I watch a video on ear health and hygiene. At the time this made absolutely no sense whatsoever. Eventually though I found out that to alleviate the boredom of sentry duty IDF conscripts have a habit of taking a bullet out of their rifles and using it to clear the wax out of their ears. This causes an epidemic of ear infections which the IDF have become expert in treating.

As people tend only remember the last couple of songs they've heard there is great pressure on the song contest hosts to immediately put on a big interval act before voting begins to clear everyone's ears out to stop acts at the end of the running order gaining an unfair advantage over those at the top. I think Austria were very successful in this task putting together a long and complex orchestral piece that seemed to include every note, melody and rhythm pattern imaginable. Of course that didn't stop me Tweeting over the top of it because I was so happy to finally have had that ear health thing explained to me.

I've got two more; Romania's quite short but Belgium really isn't. At around 17:30 on 26/5/16 (UK date) I'll try and do that when I get back from the pub but don't hold your breath.

Edited at around 19:40 on 26/5/15 (UK date) to tidy the above and to add;

Romania: This year they were represented by "Voltaj" who although they may now be considered something of a legacy act like "The Rolling Stones" or "U2" have certainly sold a lot of records, albums and concert tickets across Europe over their 20 year career.

In 2014 the band lent their support to the www.delecapat.ro (All Over Again) campaign which highlights the plight of Romanian children who have been left with grandparents or neighbours while their parents travel to find work across the EU. The campaign's main aim is actually to encourage Romanian emigres to return home. The song itself  "De La Capat (All Over Again)" and the video that supports it are unashamedly in support of that cause. Believe it or not although the version of the video on the Eurovision website has now changed the copy I saw originally ended with a stark onscreen message about how many Romanians had left the country and how many children have been left behind.

In itself this actually presented a bit of a problem because song contest rules expressly prohibit this type of overt political message. Although I fully support it due to the goodwill caused by the centenary of the Armenian genocide everyone does seem to have allowed Armenia to completely ignore this rule. This has obviously led to some tension with other competitors and having re-watched Albania and Georgia's entries they don't seem exactly over-whelmed with sympathy for Armenia.

However I think what Romania have done is simply take advantage of the situation to very clearly lay-out a very valid topic for discussion. You may remember that Romania joined the EU's open borders area on January 1st 2014 (2014). This happened amid lots of complaints amongst the richer EU nations that they were being forced to accept a whole new wave of immigrants. The UK in particular really started having a go at Romania and it what seen by many as an attempt to deter migrants senior government officials actually spent the day manning border checkpoints at airports to greet each Romanian migrant individually.

The point Romania was making through their Eurovision entry and the entire campaign of which this is just a small part is that this large-scale migration across the EU also has negative effects on the nations which people are emigrating from and Romania itself would prefer it if fewer of its citizens were leaving. Obviously though that is not to say that Romania doesn't want to be part of the EU because if that were the case they could simply leave. As such they were trying to highlight the fact that it is possible to be broadly supportive of an organisation as vast as the EU but still be able to make suggestions of how it can be improved.

I'm actually very supportive of the EU's open border policy because if you live in a country such as the UK and are offered the chance of a job - such as representing Germany at Eurovision - you can simply hop on a plane at take that job. However it is clear that where there is an imbalance between rich and poor member states the policy creates a problem by allowing people from the poor nations to flood into the rich states. A possible solution to this would be to extend the time between a new member state being making changes to their economies to make them compliant with EU rules, joining the free-trade zone allowing them to boost their economies and allowing them to join the open border area in an effort to close the economic gap to deter migrants from flooding out of poorer nations.

Another possible solution would be to massively slow down the rate at which the EU is expanding and accepting new members. Migration and the remittances it produces are of course an important part of helping poorer EU states to develop economically. However with the EU expanding so rapidly it has created a situation where rather then, say, the Poles coming over for a few years before returning to allow, say, the Romanians to take their place all of these migrants are coming over at the same time which can seem a little overwhelming.

Also there is the question of whether the EU is ever going to stop expanding. Although I think the issue there is much more to do with NATO rather then EU membership the prospect of the EU expanding right up to Russia's border with Ukraine is clearly creating a lot of tension. If Turkey joins then the EU will border with Iraq and Syria which are very clearly Arab states. Although I don't have a problem with them being Arab states there is clearly a lot of difference between European and Arab culture.


Belgium: Although I found their entry to be impressive I am slightly concerned that their entrant "Loic Nottet" may not be yet fully aware of why he was so awesome. At the tender age of just 17 Nottet already considers himself a master of all the performing arts such as music, acting, dance, choreography and stage direction. As such he was allowed to direct all the aspects of his song contest entry.

The problem is that none of these aspects were particularly Okay, let alone good. As such Nottet has exposed himself as being in possession of the type of extreme arrogance and self-delusion that is only displayed by a certain type of younger gay man or any succession of contestants on TV talent shows like "The Voice."

As a result Loic has perhaps unwittingly presented himself as an impressive talking point on the issue of gay identity and the Eurovision crowd's obsession with gay-rights above all else. In previous years such as with Azerbaijan in 2013 this has led to more then a few embarrassing moments at Eurovision and with nations like Latvia and Lithuania trying to use the issue of gay-rights to whip up anti-Russian sentiment this year it seems and extremely valid topic for discussion.

It also touches on that favourite topic of Eurovision - the age of sexual consent and this particularly instance the homosexual age of consent. As gets established every time Eurovision has this debate there are certain older straight men who enjoy having sex with very young - but legal - girls. The same is true of certain gay men but in more homophobic societies this unpleasant minority is used to label all homosexuals paedophiles and justify more homophobia.

In order to highlight what a fantastic artist he is Loic talks extensively about how his heartfelt rendition of "Diamonds" by "Rihanna" helped him win the chance to represent his nation at Eurovision. Looking at the state of Latvia's entry and with me always lurking in the background this seemed a very sensible conversational avenue to keep open.

Loic though makes much more of his adoration for Australian pop-star "Sia" and how she once re-Tweeted a video of him covering "Chandelier" to all her Twitter followers. However from the way he tells the story you would get the impression that Sia has now taken him fully under her wing and from now on will be mentoring his entire career rather then her, say, accidentally sitting on her phone.

Apart from being a way to welcome Australia Sia is also a very relevant talking point in terms of the paedophilia debate. Unusually for people in the entertainment industry Sia is incredibly shy and tries to keep out of the spotlight. As such rather then appearing in her own videos she gets a pre-pubescent girl "Maddie Ziegler" to play her role. I think the intention is to juxtapose Sia's naive desire for the unconditional love for a child with the more bruising and complex realities of adult love affairs. Obviously though having a pre-pubescent girl gyrating around with a much older man in a skimpy leotard Sia's videos are certainly open to misinterpretation.

In fact I recently read a tabloid expose about paedophile networks on the Internet's so-called "Dark Web." Apparently they are all massive fans of the video for Sia's "Elastic Heart" which also features "Shia LaBeouf." They view the wrestling match between LaBeouf and Ziegler to be a metaphor for paedophilic sex and the cage which surrounds the pair a metaphor for societies disapproval of paedophilia. As such they consider both Sia and LaBeouf to be pro-paedophile rights campaigners.

While I feel I should apologise for dredging it all up again "Pete Townshend" of legendary UK band "The Who" got himself in trouble back in 2003 while researching online paedophile networks on behalf of an anti-paedophile charity. While there was never any suggestion that he is a paedophile in the course of his research he did view child pornography and due to the way the law is worded had to admit to the criminal offence and sign the sex-offenders register. This obviously illustrates how it can be difficult to legislate on such issues.

The reference to Sia also brings up the issue of how artistic expression can be badly misinterpreted and that is something Eurovision's large gay audience have certainly been guilty of in the past. I actually produced an example of this myself by Tweeting a like to the video "Going Out In Style" by the US band "The Dropkick Murphys" as a way to show my coded support for Ireland's gay marriage referendum. Annoyingly it has since got stuck in my head. I do not have any idea about the band's feelings on gay marriage but with the video having been shot, released and forgotten about several years before the Irish gay marriage referendum was even suggested I'm pretty sure that wasn't their intention.

Belgium however produced their own example with the song "Rhythm Inside" seeming to be heavily influenced by "Team" by New Zealand pop-star "Lorde." Obviously alongside the reference to Sia this sends the message that yes Belgium does know that New Zealand and Australia are different countries. Also Lorde has some relevance to the age of consent debate because releasing her first single at just 15 she would have been considered too young to compete in Eurovision.

The reason why Team rather the "Royals" or any other Lorde song was referenced is because it's very "La Haine" style video is set on at a dockyard and due to someone wearing a jacket emblazoned with the word "France" you could get the impression it was set in France. This touches on the French port city of Marseilles which could be a reference to the Mediterranean migrant crisis, the Paris attacks which were proceeded by the 2012 attacks carried out by "Mohammed Merah" or the Mistral warships that France was going to sell to Russia before the Ukraine civil-war began. Belgium has always had a bit of a schizophrenic relationship with it's neighbour France with French speaking Belgians being very keen on them and Flemish speaking Belgians less so. This was very much on display this year although I think Belgium was quietly deferring to France and its role in the "Normandy Four."

The video for the Belgian entry touched on the "Twilight" vampire films which themselves are a metaphor for HIV/AIDS. This seems to have been a way to test the water surrounding nations such as Latvia's attempts to use the HIV/AIDS issue to highlight Russia's apparent homophobia. Also due to my complete inability to remember who she was one of the best rumours that's gone around about me is that I'm completely obsessed with Twilight star "Kristen Stewart." There was a little reference to this in the film "Still Alice" in a scene where the main character simply cannot remember who Stewart is.

The main theme of the stage setting though was firmly "enhanced humans/cyborgs." Quite away from the way cyborgs were referenced by Sweden this is actually a big global issue because through research into prosthetic limbs etc the technology is improving at a rapid rate. "Elon Musk" who founded "PayPal" and is behind the "Tesla" car and the "SpaceX" company apparently keeps an eye on this sort of thing and estimates that cyborgs could become a reality within the next 5-10 years. This is possibly why the issue is featured in the much referenced US TV Show "Marvels Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D" although the "Deathlock/Mike Peterson" character played by "J,August Richards" could well be a comment on US President Obama's need to toughen up and develop a spine.

The TV show that Belgium used as it's reference point though is the UK Channel 4's upcoming show "Humans" which is a copy of the 2012 Swedish show "Real Humans."  Although yet to be broadcast Humans has already created a big buzz because rather then simply showing trailers to promote it Channel 4 instead broadcast apparently genuine commercials claiming that cyborgs would soon be on sale. By choosing this reference Belgium could have been slightly mocking the UK whilst showing it's support for Sweden. However there's also a chance that being in such a rush to tell us he knew a really cool secret Loic simply missed.


I have to say though that the main thing that impressed me about Belgium's entry is that it appeared in the first semi-final. Raising further questions about the running order although things did pick up slightly in the second semi and the grand final the first semi-final was really grim. Basically if a song wasn't about Ukraine then it was about Macedonia - two issues that I was not going to go into that early in the competition. So when I saw Belgium's entry I was overjoyed at finally having something to talk about. Annoyingly though it then went through to the final meaning I had to leave it until last.



Edited at around 14:20 on 26/5/15 (UK date) to bring the sections on Romania up to something close to the required standard.

And I am finally finished and free to talk about something else.

16:45 on 27/5/15 (UK date).