Now That Was a Little Bit Less Then Healthy.

last night my neighbours at number 50, henceforth known as the hen house, decided to stay up late and do their bit for the crown. Although there was no loud music involved they chose to be in their back garden 'till around 04:00 swearing, shouting and trying their hand at some less then convincing fake laughter. They regretted this slightly when I got up at around 05:00 to watch the Australian Grand Prix complete with the loud and screaming F1 engines.

After I watched the race I went back to bed for a few hours and awoke just in time to watch the repeat showing of the Grand Prix. This caused me to spend a good few hours of my day wondering if the last few hours had been a horribly predictive dream. To make matters worse old bloody fascist summer time began today so some of the clocks in the house were showing the correct time and some of them were set one hour forward. It is perhaps fortunate then that I had the malice and aforethought to prepare dinner before I became far too drunk to deal with that shiny, sharp, knifey thing.

The good spirits of the evening though has left me feeling warm enough to share with you a little secret. Keep it close to your chest and under your hat though because despite their high level of access the Brits haven't worked it out yet. In the F1 codebook I am both Jenson Button AND Lewis Hamilton. So I'm predicting a good season for Ferrari then.

While we're on the subject of competitive events tomorrow is Monday and the start of the British working week. That means that by 15:00 I will be expecting an email response from George Atkinson, my contact at the Office of Public Guardians (OPG.) Ideally this email will apologise for his most recent correspondence and inform me that all relevant LPA's have been cancelled due to a clerical error. If this is not possible then the email will contain a sworn statement admitting full liability on behalf of the OPG and details of how they will now be taking the matter to the Court of Protection (CoP) on my behalf. If not then George K Atkinson will have added himself and all those above him in the OPG's organisational structure to the list of people who will now have to be burnt from the pages of history.

So no pressure then.