Drugs, Riots and Helicopters

So just a typical weekend in Croydon then. Firstly we have;

The Drugs. These are the drugs that were yesterday prescribed to my grandmother. In order to tell the story properly I have to delve back into history and get a little bit technical so do try and pay attention at the back.

My Grandmother needs a hip replacement. This is a simple 35 minute surgical procedure and the orthopedic surgeon we've spoken to is happy to preform it just as long as the anaesthetist to do his job. Following medical tests the anaesthetist is generally happy but is a little concerned about a slight irregular heartbeat. He didn't give specific details of what was wrong but did say it was only a minor problem that a GP could clear up with a short course of tablets.

That was four weeks ago and yesterday after much shouting and prodding with sticks my dad finally got in contact with my Grandmother's General Practitioner (GP). In that GP's defence my father did tell them that he wanted a consultation for a pain problem. Over the course of a brief telephone call the GP decided to prescribe two drugs; Morphine Sulphate and Diazepam. Although I have something of a working knowledge of both of these drugs I am no expert so I decided on the Internet where I found;

Morphine Sulphate. This is known as an opioid analgesic. It is derived from opium and used to treat pain. Although it is a gentle or gateway drug it belongs to a family of drugs including diamorphine, heroin. Oxycontin and methadone. It is both highly addictive and generates a tolerance to it's effects within users meaning ever larger doses will be required to reproduce the same effect. As such it is classified as a Class B drug under the misuse of drugs act. Known side effects include suppression of the circulatory system, tachycardia and cardiac arrest. As it is addictive the British National Formulary (BNF) advise that special care and constant review is given to patients prescribed it. They also recommend special care is taken when prescribing to elderly patients it is also not to be used alongside alcohol and benzodiazepine's.

Diazepam. This is a benzodiazepine commonly known as Valium. This is not a drug used for pain management. It is mainly used to treat anxiety and insomnia. Again it is addictive and builds tolerance within the user. It is also classified as a class B narcotic. It's side effects include amnesia, cognitive impairment, tachycardia and impaired motor function, dizziness and impaired balance. The BNF recommends that special care is taken when prescribing to elderly people and it should not generally be used in patients who are at a risk of falls as my grandmother is.

As I am nowhere near as qualified as my grandmothers GP I do not wish to call her judgement into question although I have to say I would like to discuss her choice of drugs especially as neither of them will be treating the core medical complaint. Even though it would breach my ban on competing for Team GB I would be happy to do that in person. My father however refuses to allow me to discuss the matter with the GP, the pharmacist, my grandmother or indeed him. It's almost as if he's got a sinister plan in his head and doesn't want anybody to interfere with it.

My Grandmothers problems are being compounded by the fact she's started receiving mysterious silent phone calls late at night and bizarre, nonsensical letters from her telephone company. This brings us neatly on to;

The Helicopter. Most people in my area are now so familiar with the seemingly constant overflight of the police helicopter it's actually a bit difficult to sleep with out the noise of it's rotor blades gently rocking you to sleep. Last night was a special treat then as at around midnight the Royal Air Force no less decided to fly a military Sea King helicopter overhead. Although it was dark and it wasn't equipped with a nightsun searchlight the helicopter was flying so low I could clearly see it's Air Sea Rescue yellow colour scheme as it circled round before disappearing behind some houses presumably to land on the Rugby pitch near the hospital. I wouldn't mind so much but we're miles from the nearest air sea rescue base on account of being nowhere near the sea. Also the local hospital is hardly a major trauma centre

The Riot. Well more of a fight then a riot but yesterday the news broke that Croydon had once again managed to put itself on the map when two policemen asked a school girl to pick up a piece of litter. She refused and the situation quickly degenerated into a large confrontation which left two policemen injured and required police re-enforcements armed with batons and pepper spray to subdue. Putting aside childish jokes about policemen whipping their batons out when school girls are about this incident really represents an improvement for Croydon. There were no mothers beating thier children to death, there were no naked swordsmen, there were no Trinidadian transvestites and there was nobody having sex with a corpse. The incident also happend about 100 metres away from an area of West Croydon that used to be known as "the shooting gallery".

The incident also brought the national media to Town and gave the police the chance to show off their favourite new toy. A brand new Mercedes Benz (lightly) armoured personnel carrier just like the one wot the anti-terrorist branch have got. The police are so proud of this van they keep driving round to my house just to show me.