Thursday, 31 July 2008

Can you guess what day it is today?

That's right it's Thursday!

Thursday is traditionally the most stressful day of my week because it it is the day that I spend two hours helping my disabled grandmother cook a horrifically overblown meal which my father, my brother, my grandmother and me then sit down to eat as a family while discussing the news of what is going on in our lives.

Purely by co-incidence Thursday also happens to be the day when something unexpected usually happens to stress us all out.

Today the Whitehall gods of coincidence have excelled themselves by pulling something extra special out of the bag because for a start my home Internet connection has been blocked forcing me into an Internet cafe. The main event however was the early morning phone call I received informing me that my anorexic sister has once again been admitted to hospital by Surrey Police.


Obviously the first reaction anybody would have to this news would be to rush around in a panic and do anything they can to try and help. I have to admit that this was my first reaction. The problem I have with acting on that urge though is that I know full well that my sister's myriad of mental health problems are the direct result of being raised by the British State who are so sociopathic and violent they genuinely believe that ruthlessness is a valid alternative to competence.

This knowledge puts me in a difficult position because I know that if I rise to the bait and help my sister I will be rewarding the state for a violent attack on her. Doing this will only enforce the notion within the state that it can use violence rather then ability will get it what it wants and it will continue to use violence against thousands. possibly millions of people in the future.

That represents quite a moral conundrum I'm sure you'll agree because do I endanger thousand by attempting to help one or do I endanger one by attempting to help thousands?

Of course the sisterhood at channel 4 will be telling everybody that it's a no brainer because "The state has changed!". It's a shame really that the poor little darlings haven't realised by now that the state have been using that line for the last forty odd years.


Edited at 14:23 to add: Although the specific trigger has yet to be indentified my sisters admission was a result of the increased stress she was under on account of the fact she was made homeless at just about the same time I was having that little spat with Mind in Croydon. Although the reasons why she was made homeless are not yet clear I'm sure that the local housing association and relevent authorities bear no legal liability for the situation.

Wednesday, 30 July 2008

Another day another Amy Winehouse saga.

Apparently yesterday Amy Winehouse was admitted to hospital after a collapse. Today it has been alleged the collapse was brought about because somebody had spiked her with ecstasy. Although this story in no way address the validity of state sponsored forced marriages I'm still arrogant enough to think it was a fishing trip aimed in my direction.

If that was the case I may or may not be able to provide information that could challenge that statement but to do so would represent rewarding violence and I'm just not prepared to do that. Besides we have already established the young ladies life will have to be comprehensively ruined because certain observers will need a full fifty to sixty years to work out exactly how they've ruined her life in the hope the will be able to plot a mathematical accurate bar graph on the subject.

It was nice of it to appear though because it helped to break up my busy day of waiting. The first thing I've been waiting for today is a response to my offer that I will be prepared to drop my objection to a certain situation just as soon as those responsible for the situation demonstrate that the situation is being run in accordance to the subject best interests. Failing that I will be happy if it is demonstrated that the subject have given their informed consent to the situation. As yet I have yet to receive a response but I suppose you could say the silence is speaking volumes.

The second thing I've been waiting for today is the details of my grandmother's visit to surgical team in order for her to be reassessed for surgery. Here we had more joy because we discovered the "heart problem" she was suffering from was atrial fibrillation. Despite my dad explaining this to me in terms that "The heart is like a big house with four rooms and as the blood moves between the rooms it picks up oxygen" we learnt that the problem is well within acceptable limits and surgery can go ahead without any prior treatment. Obviously that is good news but does beg the question of why the surgery was cancelled in the first place.

Tuesday, 29 July 2008

Ding Dong Doha's Dead.

Despite Gordon Browns assurances at the G8 summit that the Doha round of World Trade Organisation talks would be ratified today the WTO meeting in Geneva have collapsed without ratification.

Some of you may be confused as to why a round of talks held Geneva are named after a place which isn't even on the same continent. The reason for this is quite simple the talks are named after the location where they were first meant to be ratified way back in 2001. Although being a doorstep of paper written in the driest of diplomatic terms the Doha agreement was primarily concerned with cutting the subsidies that governments of developed countries paid to their farmers and abolishing taxes that farmers in developing countries would have to pay on imported fertilisers and farm equipment.

This would have made it economically viable for farmers in developing countries such as India, Thailand and Zimbabwe to export their produce to markets in developed countries such as the USA and France and have the knock on effect of increasing global food production averting the current global food crisis and cutting the cost of food worldwide.

As they are one of the countries hit hardest by the global food crisis it was always going to be difficult to get India to sign up to a trade agreement which was in direct contravention to it's recently imposed ban on rice exports. I however I think the main diplomatic mistake was to piss off China by making up fairy stories about it's involvement in Africa and a load of middle class posing over the "Great firewall of China". This last point is especially ironic as the UK is in the process to introducing similar technology in order to protect it's citizens from the bits of the Internet of which it's government does not approve.

Sunday, 27 July 2008

Joke of the Day.

Harriet Harman. Not specifically her personally of course just what she said today.

The former minister for liberal hand wringing and wimmins problems has by some miracle been promoted to the officer of deputy prime minister meaning that while Gordon Brown is on holiday she is actually running this country. Her first role in this job was to appear of television and state among other things that as a politicians it was the job of her and her peers to do the right thing rather then worry about doing what is best from them and protecting their jobs.

While you lot might not find that funny I find it hilarious because for the past ten months all I've heard from this government is that they couldn't possibly do the right thing because that would jeopardise their careers as their careers were somehow to the benefit of other people.

She always went on to explain that the economic problems and the social problems were beyond the remit of the UK government but that's all I can really be arsed to write for a Sunday afternoon rant.

Saturday, 26 July 2008

Glasgow East by-election.

To be perfectly honest I'd forgotten all about it. This was partly because it was in Scotland and partly because Labour's already proved itself to be incapable or unwilling to run the country regardless of whether they win or lose elections.

As you all know by now Labour lost Thursday's by-election. Although they only lost by the matter of some 300 votes this represented a disaster for them because Glasgow East was Labours 4th safest seat having returned a Labour MP in every election for the last 60 odd years. The loss represented a massive 23% swing of the vote away from the Labour party, if this was repeated nationally it would leave Labour with only four MP's and vying for the role of fourth largest party alongside the United Kingdom Independence Party.

The result is even more disastrous for Gordon Brown because there is a suggestion that the incumbent Labour MP for Glasgow East was encouraged to resign his safe seat in order to force a by-election that Labour would easily win. This would reversed the trend of defeats that has recently plagued Labour and taken the pressure off Brown ahead of the summer break by allowing him to make lots of speeches about how "The tide has turned!" and "Labour is back in control!". While this clearly didn't happened it hasn't stopped Labour MP''s and party members running around being utterly convinced that they can still their fortunes around. This utter failure to comprehend the obvious would be admirable if it wasn't such a destructive property in a leader.

The whole incident however is leading me to become more and more convinced that rather then being a Labour minister smug faced twat, James Purnell, is actually a fifth columnist sent by Tory party HQ to infiltrate the party and destroy it from the inside.

You see Glasgow East is one of the poorest and most deprived areas of the UK and is known locally by such nicknames as "Mogadishu" and "Gaza". The last of these is particularly apt because you are probably less likely to meet a violent end in the Gaza strip then you are in parts of Glasgow. Amist such poverty in what is supposedly a "developed economy" some 1 in four of the population of Glasgow east are either unemployed or receiving incapacity benefit. Therefore Mr Purnell's decision to announce that his government was going to war with these people on Monday, three days before the poll, was either a deliberate attempt to further isolate already pissed of voters or an act of crass political stupidity.

In other news I think a special award should be given to the TV newscaster who introduced the story of the Qantas jet accident with the words "400 airline passengers bound for Australia had a lucky escape when their plane landed in Manila!"

Thursday, 24 July 2008

Another clear victory for British Fascism.

And on this occasion we can legitimately use the term fascism.

Today judgement has been returned on the Max Mosley Nazi Sex Orgy Case. This case began back in March when Max Mosley, son of British Fascist leader Sir Oswald Mosley, employed a number of prostitutes to engage Sado-Masochistic orgy. One of these prostitutes, who also happened to be married to an MI5 officer, then proceeded to arrange a five hour sex game in which women were dressed in concentration camp style uniforms and barked orders in German while beating the "Prisoners".

This incident was filmed by one of the prostitutes and that tape found it's way into the hands of Sunday newspaper The News of the World. Believing the high profile son of a close friend of Adolf Hitler engaging in a concentration camp style sex game was in the public interest the editor of that newspaper published the story.

Max Mosley, clearly being driven by some unresolved paternal issues then sued the newspaper for breaching his privacy. Today the court reached it's verdict and found in favour of Mr Mosley awarding him £60,000 in damages. While the amount of damages was record breaking more worrying is the legal precedent the case sets because in his summing the judge stated that despite being involved in illegal activity (solicitation, ABH etc)Mr Mosley had an expectation of privacy because he was engaged in that activity on private property.

This means that in future it will be more and more difficult for the British media to engage in investigative journalism of the sort that brought to light racism in the British Police (the Secret Policeman, BBC) and Islamic Extremism in UK Mosques (Undercover Mosque, Channel 4).

The over riding message of the case seems to be that if an MI5 asset enters a private residence and then proceeds to beat, abuse and sexually degrade a person the media has no business reporting those events because it may reflect badly on the activity of the state.

Monday, 21 July 2008

Welfare Green paper.

Earlier today, or yesterday (my internet connection got arsey), Conservative MP James Purnell published the governments long awaited plan to change the UK welfare system. It has been claimed that this is the biggest shake up of the system since its creation and is based on two major ideas.

The work for benefits scheme. Under this scheme people who claim unemployment benefits or "Jobseekers Allowance" will be forced to carry out community based work programs doing things such as picking up litter, painting over graffiti and cutting grass. When these same task are preformed by convicted criminals they are known as "community punishment orders". Although both the Labour party, the Conservative party and the UK Independence Party have claimed this idea as their own it has in fact been stolen lock, stock and barrel from the United States where it has been tried, tested and found to be pretty much useless.

While the scheme is quite successful in getting people off welfare very few of those people have actually gone on into paid work. The majority find themselves being declared ineligible for welfare by reason of lateness, insubordination or poor work etc and slip out of the bottom of the system presumably into the black economy. Apart from supervisors effectively making up supposed offences in order to meet throughput targets this scheme also suffers heavily from the problem that people who are doing full time voluntary work don't have the time to undergo training or look for paid employment.

Most importantly, despite the decreased number of welfare claimants the cost to the taxpayer of this type of welfare scheme remains pretty much the same because of the increased costs of administering and supervising this type of state ordered busy work.

It will also be interesting to see if the private companies that put these Jobseekers to work will be the same private companies that are already being paid by the local authorities to carry this type of work out. If that is the case then the taxpayers will in effect be paying these companies twice, once to do the work and then again by allowing them to avoid paying National Insurance and the minimum wage to their labour force.


Employment Support Allowance. This is to be brought in to replace payments made to people who are unable to work through reason of illness or disability. Where it is crucially different from the previous system is that it no longer assumes that the disabled people are in fact disabled. Choosing instead to assume that they are just being difficult by trying to avoid jobs running up and down stair because they haven't got any legs. Ignoring the fact that a large proportion of people claiming sickness benefits will never work due to incurable illnesses and birth defects such as mental sub normality this new benefit is to be considered "temporary".

In order to claim people will have to agree to a series of regular and often useless medical assessments and training orders provided by for profit companies such as Working Links, Learning Links, A4l and Learn Direct. In my experience these organisation do not have clue what skills are required for the modern work environment let alone have the ability to train people in them. They tend to be staffed by people who are so inept they cannot find work beyond the taxpayers teat. One, worryingly named Instant Muscle was so hopeless that despite only having one customer, the government, it couldn't even manage it's own fiances and was forced into liquidation.


While the announcement of these reforms will no doubt tick all the right boxes with the hard pressed working poor who've yet to figure out that rather then being the sick and the unemployed it is the government themselves that is ruining the economy I am in no doubt that it will do anything to either help people get back into work or cut the governments expenditure of the unemployed and unemployable. What it will do is ensure that rather then being spent on the people who really need it taxpayers money will be siphoned off into the pockets of quasi-private companies who can't cut it in businesses without government subsidy.


As all my attempts to get off welfare and into work have been cruelly cut down so the government can use me as a guinea pig this idiotic idea I could go into great detail of exactly what's wrong with it and offer more then a few suggestions of how to improve it but I guess that is Sadie's job now. Besides it's all going to be sneaked into practice without proper parliamentary debate so there seems little point in me wasting my breath.

Sunday, 20 July 2008

Good Morning Monday.

For some of you today is that start of a brand new week. For those of you in politics it's just a continuation of the same old grind because politics doesn't stop for weekends it just hides behinds them. In the UK for example last Saturday featured one of the most important announcements the chancellor has made in a number of years. You can tell how important it was because it was neatly hidden behind Gordon Brown's "surprise" visit to Iraq.

Although he didn't phrase it quite like this the message from the first lord of the treasury was quite clear. The UK economy is fucked and there will be no more money for government departments and their pet projects. Some people decided that this was a coded reference to me and my situation. It wasn't, the UK economy is in a dire situation.

You see back in the autumn of last year when the credit crunch started to bite the government had two choices of how to react. They could have gone for shock therapy where there was a short, sharp decline followed by a slow and gradual recovery. Alternatively they could have stuck their heads in the sand and attempted to mitigate the decline in the hope that the problem wasn't as bad as everybody thought.

Brown's government chose the latter meaning that rather then facing a short market correction the UK economy is now facing a long period of economic decline. This policy was not helped by Browns decision to run into an economic downturn screaming "Britain's bad for business, Britain's bad for business!" at the top of his lungs. The government is trying to pin the second mistake on me which is a bit rich because compared to the government's host of other economic errors my contribution was fractional to say the least. Besides I didn't actually do anything other then hold a mirror up to the British government so everybody could see it's true nature. Also I did warn them time and time again that a kicking contest would have consequences yet they kept on kicking.

This crass stupidity means that the UK is now in a situation where it doesn't know how severe the downturn will be or how long it will last. Some people are even seriously worried that it may last so long that it takes the nation up to the point where it's extreme exposure to Browns beloved Public Private Partnerships becomes apparent but hey, ho, at least Sadie's got herself a job.

Alistair Darling has responded to this situation by declaring that government departments should not bother asking for money to fund their policy ideas because he's finally realised that taxation is too high, borrowing is too high and he thinks people won't tolerate spending on an improved NHS. On this final point i have to disagree with him because with less disposable income people are going to be less able to afford private medical treatment making them more dependent on the NHS. What they will not tolerate though is a government spending vast sums of money on plans that don't improve the NHS.

While a ruined economy is never a good thing I am quite pleased that it means government departments will no longer be given funding for their latest crack-pot ideas. I think if we can now actually stop these government departments having policy ideas and releasing green papers we might actually be in with a chance.


In sports news over the weekend Team GB announced who will be replacing Dwain Chambers in the Olympics. Following the pattern that GB's best cricketer is actually a South African and it's teen tennis sensation is really an Australian, Team GB is hoping to recruit a naturalised Chinaman going by the name of Win One Soon.

Saturday, 19 July 2008

Drugs, Riots and Helicopters

So just a typical weekend in Croydon then. Firstly we have;

The Drugs. These are the drugs that were yesterday prescribed to my grandmother. In order to tell the story properly I have to delve back into history and get a little bit technical so do try and pay attention at the back.

My Grandmother needs a hip replacement. This is a simple 35 minute surgical procedure and the orthopedic surgeon we've spoken to is happy to preform it just as long as the anaesthetist to do his job. Following medical tests the anaesthetist is generally happy but is a little concerned about a slight irregular heartbeat. He didn't give specific details of what was wrong but did say it was only a minor problem that a GP could clear up with a short course of tablets.

That was four weeks ago and yesterday after much shouting and prodding with sticks my dad finally got in contact with my Grandmother's General Practitioner (GP). In that GP's defence my father did tell them that he wanted a consultation for a pain problem. Over the course of a brief telephone call the GP decided to prescribe two drugs; Morphine Sulphate and Diazepam. Although I have something of a working knowledge of both of these drugs I am no expert so I decided on the Internet where I found;

Morphine Sulphate. This is known as an opioid analgesic. It is derived from opium and used to treat pain. Although it is a gentle or gateway drug it belongs to a family of drugs including diamorphine, heroin. Oxycontin and methadone. It is both highly addictive and generates a tolerance to it's effects within users meaning ever larger doses will be required to reproduce the same effect. As such it is classified as a Class B drug under the misuse of drugs act. Known side effects include suppression of the circulatory system, tachycardia and cardiac arrest. As it is addictive the British National Formulary (BNF) advise that special care and constant review is given to patients prescribed it. They also recommend special care is taken when prescribing to elderly patients it is also not to be used alongside alcohol and benzodiazepine's.

Diazepam. This is a benzodiazepine commonly known as Valium. This is not a drug used for pain management. It is mainly used to treat anxiety and insomnia. Again it is addictive and builds tolerance within the user. It is also classified as a class B narcotic. It's side effects include amnesia, cognitive impairment, tachycardia and impaired motor function, dizziness and impaired balance. The BNF recommends that special care is taken when prescribing to elderly people and it should not generally be used in patients who are at a risk of falls as my grandmother is.

As I am nowhere near as qualified as my grandmothers GP I do not wish to call her judgement into question although I have to say I would like to discuss her choice of drugs especially as neither of them will be treating the core medical complaint. Even though it would breach my ban on competing for Team GB I would be happy to do that in person. My father however refuses to allow me to discuss the matter with the GP, the pharmacist, my grandmother or indeed him. It's almost as if he's got a sinister plan in his head and doesn't want anybody to interfere with it.

My Grandmothers problems are being compounded by the fact she's started receiving mysterious silent phone calls late at night and bizarre, nonsensical letters from her telephone company. This brings us neatly on to;

The Helicopter. Most people in my area are now so familiar with the seemingly constant overflight of the police helicopter it's actually a bit difficult to sleep with out the noise of it's rotor blades gently rocking you to sleep. Last night was a special treat then as at around midnight the Royal Air Force no less decided to fly a military Sea King helicopter overhead. Although it was dark and it wasn't equipped with a nightsun searchlight the helicopter was flying so low I could clearly see it's Air Sea Rescue yellow colour scheme as it circled round before disappearing behind some houses presumably to land on the Rugby pitch near the hospital. I wouldn't mind so much but we're miles from the nearest air sea rescue base on account of being nowhere near the sea. Also the local hospital is hardly a major trauma centre

The Riot. Well more of a fight then a riot but yesterday the news broke that Croydon had once again managed to put itself on the map when two policemen asked a school girl to pick up a piece of litter. She refused and the situation quickly degenerated into a large confrontation which left two policemen injured and required police re-enforcements armed with batons and pepper spray to subdue. Putting aside childish jokes about policemen whipping their batons out when school girls are about this incident really represents an improvement for Croydon. There were no mothers beating thier children to death, there were no naked swordsmen, there were no Trinidadian transvestites and there was nobody having sex with a corpse. The incident also happend about 100 metres away from an area of West Croydon that used to be known as "the shooting gallery".

The incident also brought the national media to Town and gave the police the chance to show off their favourite new toy. A brand new Mercedes Benz (lightly) armoured personnel carrier just like the one wot the anti-terrorist branch have got. The police are so proud of this van they keep driving round to my house just to show me.

Friday, 18 July 2008

Dwain Chambers made a prat of himself there.

For those of you who aren't familiar with the story Dwain Chambers is without doubt the best 100m sprinter in the UK. Obviously you normally expect him to be the first name on the list of British Athletes going to the Olympics.

The problem is that back in 2003 Chambers tested positive for a banned steroid known as THG. In accordance with Olympics rules this lead to him serving a two year ban after which he was allowed back into competition in 2005. The UK Olympic authority also has another rule all of it's own that states those caught using banned drugs will never be allowed to compete at the Olympics ever again.

Ahead of the Beijing Olympics Chambers has been trying to overturn this ban. In the course of doing this he has complied with the authorities every request by submitting evidence of exactly how he cheated. He has also worked with the authorities to bring in more stringent drug testing. He has also engaged in a number of publicity stunts including signing up to play for a rugby league team. All this has helped keep the story in the UK press for many months.

Today was the day that the court handed down it's judgement and Mr Chambers would discover whether or not his months living on command and humiliating himself at every turn would pay off.

It didn't. The court upheld the ban and team GB will be sending it's second string to the Beijing games.

I don't know about you but to me that sends the message, go against the state and there will be violence. Comply with the state and there will still be violence.










On a personal note the Doctors been round to treat my Grandmother's heart problem and has prescribed morphine. Now I'm no expert so I'll have to google the effects of pharmaceutical heroin on the cardio-vascular system but that sounds an awful lot like a Dr Shipman special.

Thursday, 17 July 2008

Time for a quick history lesson.

Way, way, way back in last year when co-operation was still on the table I suggested to my GP that he got a TV in his waiting room.

Yesterday I went in and there was the TV chewing up electricity and spewing out something called "The life channel". This channel is apparently a private new media company that spontaneously sprang up in Belfast sometime last year with the sole purpose of generating content for TV's in GP's surgeries.

Now as with many other things the state has tried to drag it's knuckles over I can't really criticise the initial idea. The execution however is something I couldn't possibly comment on for fear of hurting someones feelings.

In other news the campaign of violence is continuing at it's usual pace. The particular highlight from yesterday's performance was the story of Mr Britton. This fellow is apparently a very evil man who abused his position as a nurse to have sex with vulnerable anorexics.

I think that story is aimed at me because I did once, to my discredit, have sex with a recovering anorexic. In my defence I would like to point out that after she pulled her knickers up and went off telling herself she would do just fine without me, it took a policeman to marry her and have sex with her many more times. I don't know how that relationship went but I think it's important we find out because it does rather go to the credibility of these forced marriages.

Today, being Thursday, has managed to bring together the twin themes of violence and the medical profession. You see following the as yet unexplained decision to cancel her hip operation my grandmother was expecting a visit from a district nurse. Demonstrating the states almost feverish desire for more violence this nurse has yet to turn up. As a result my gran was more then a bit pissed off and asked my father if he would actually consider maybe doing something about it. This rather fair request caused my dad to have a massive tantrum in front of me. Trying to help I told him what he needed to do to solve the problem and this caused him to launch into yet another tantrum where he moaned about the stress his inaction was causing him and then flatly refused to do anything to help his mother.

As all this ferocity is causing two of the states loyal servants a damn sight more pain then it's causing me I can only assume the state is justifying it's actions by telling itself that it's not violence, it's a cunning plan designed to help my father and grandmother. If that's the case I can only presume that they also think it's quite a good idea to preform brain surgery with a sledgehammer.

Tuesday, 15 July 2008

Yikes! Talk about defaming my good character.

Yesterday I received this email;

"Hi there,

Thank you for your application and your interest in Frontier.

On this occasion we shall not be taking your application to the next stage but would like to thank you for your correspondence and wish you all the best.

Good luck with everything.
Best wishes

Jon McCullough

Overseas Operations Officer The Society for Environmental Exploration / Frontier50 - 52 Rivington Street, London EC2A 3QP, UKTel: +44 (0) 20 7613 2520Fax: +44 (0) 20 7613 2992E-mail: operations@frontier.ac.ukWebsite: www.frontier.ac.uk
"To promote and advance field research and implement practical projects contributing to the conservation of natural resources and sustainable rural livelihoods in East Africa, South East Asia and Central America"".

Now although I did once have the misfortune to be associated with a UK educational establishment I did manage to escape before any permanent intellectual damage was done. This means that I would be highly unlikely to re-apply for any such similar degradation. I most certainly would not apply to an operation as shoddy as Frontier.

I am however quite interested by the idea of sending British Students to study overseas. You see being raised by the British Establishment I was never afforded luxuries such as foreign trips or even on occasion teachers and classes. This means that I have never been to Sudan or indeed have a clue what language they speak there.

This disadvantage however did not prevent me from realising the whole Mohammed Teddy Bear incident was moderates within the Sudanese government reaching out to Britain for help ending the situation in Darfur. Sadly my graduated superiors were sharp enough to realise that. It's OK though because the president of Sudan has just been indited for war crimes. I'm sure the people of Darfur will go to bed warmed by the knowledge that the principles of international justice are being upheld even if it means the UN will be withdrawing from the area.

As the email had strong elements of psychometric testing and was designed to bring out a multitude of different interpretations for analysis I have to consider it's use of the word "Operations". The use of the phrase could mean that the document was intended as a threat. A threat that the state will withhold my grandmothers right to receive medical attention.

I hope that isn't the case because there's violence, there is knife crime and then there's lashing out wildly at an 87 year old woman. Not that the British State would have any compunction in doing such a thing, after all what has she done for her country? Absolutely nothing! Nothing apart from giving up her husband for a six year war. Having her brothers and cousins killed in that same war. Putting up with rationing and bombing to raise the next generation of national servants. Why should any of that count when we've got a bunch of silly little lesbians running around trying to out butch each other?

Yesterday I also got sent a questionnaire about the Olympics. This asked me if I felt proud to be British and gave me options to answer including; "Yes, at historical events" and "Yes, when the national team wins." Sadly though it didn't have an option saying;

"I used to. Then Britain tried to kill me and failed before bursting into tears, stomping it's feet and waving it's fists about. After a performance that poor it's hard to feel anything but shame."


Monday, 14 July 2008

And in the end Yossarian jumped.

Remember how the British State has always claimed that they can't do anything about Sadie because "They never turn their guns on their own!"?

Well today we've had a little bit of fun. My dad, who you will remember is one of the British States most loyal employees, has been getting a lot of letters from his energy supplier, EDF energy. Regular viewers will already be familiar with EDF Energy because they're major sponsors of the 2012 Olympics and were responsible for all those funny power cuts during the Lebanon war.

Firstly they sent my dad a letter saying they were going to have to put up his bill by 50% to cover undercharges they'd made. Then they sent him a letter saying they're going to have to put it up by 100% for the same reason. Obviously he's a little upset about this because after 40 years of loyal service which damaged him, his wife, his children and his country he was desperately hoping that one day the violence might stop.

Personally I'm quite upset about this also but mainly quite frustrated because he refuses to change energy supplier and still insists feeding the hand that bites him.

Mainly though I am quite amused by it because it means British Intelligence have been given a simple choice; They can either turn their guns on their own in a way will help them or they can turn their guns on their own such a way that hinders them. I am glad to report that they appear to have chosen the latter.

That's the British State all over though. Sociopathically violent and quite thick. Hardly going to be a winning combination is it.

Saturday, 12 July 2008

Zimbabwe News

Well I say news. Yesterday the UN security council failed to ratify a program of targeted sanctions which were sponsored by the UK and US governments. These sanctions would have restricted the travel and frozen the overseas assets of Robert Mugabe and other key Zanu-PF officials.

As this event was utterly predictable I can only assume it was part of official British government policy. Today I woke up to yet another kick in the teeth so I won't be challenging government policy, no matter how stupid it may be.

In more important news yesterday Manchester Utd footballer Christiano Ronaldo announced, to much derision, that he was being treated as a slave. Apparently Ronaldo likes to be identified by his initials C, R and his shirt number, 7. CR7 also happens to be the first three digits of my postcode so some people may be getting the impression that I am claiming that I am being treated as a slave. Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact probably the only thing I have got going for me at the moment is the fact that I am not a slave and don't have to take orders from anybody.

Of course the British government still honestly believe that they can convince me to give that up so I can live out the rest of my days with a wife I hate doing a job that's beneath me while having to put up with a boss that despises me because by far out class him. This fundamental failure to grasp the concept of bribery does go a long way to explaining the current joy that is life in the UK. It also means I won't exactly be awaiting Monday's announcement on knife crime with baited breath.

Friday, 11 July 2008

Not really got much to say today

but it does appear that the latest insult is that I'm a fascist Nazi. I'm not sure if that's directed at me because with the rapist/paedophile/terrorist/Scotsman/Mugabe it's just so hard to tell. If that what I am being called now it can only really be considered a good sign.

While I'm here I should just clear up a popular misconception. Sadie is not an employee of the local council or any other such public sector bemouth. She is the employee of a private company which provides a service to the local authority. As such she has the same employment rights as someone working at McDonald's or some other such private companies. This means that in order to dismiss her all is required is a verbal warning followed by a written warning followed by and instruction to vacate the premises.

This means that while people can apologise all they like if they're going to wake up on Monday morning and continue to commit the same offence the apology cannot be accepted and progress forward cannot be made.

Thursday, 10 July 2008

Seeing as how Mind in Croydon have made their last contribution to society

I may as well clarify what I was babbling about in my drunken glory. When I was suspended from Enterprise House following the letter incident it was done for two specific reasons.

Firstly it was that I had refused to return to work after lunch at 2pm. Secondly it was that I was being intimidating towards Sadie.

At the meeting of 23rd June we addressed the second issue first. I asked if they could explain to me exactly what element of my behaviour was considered to be intimidating. Their answer was that they didn't have to demonstrate that my behaviour was intimidating, all that was required was for Sadie to say she felt intimidated. I then pointed out that if a person felt intimidated by someone having an apparent anxiety attack then perhaps they weren't equipped to work in a mental health project. Although this is suspiciously missing from the record of the meeting the chair who was all twinsets and tight lips while clearly dreaming of an OBE responded by saying;

"Well no, if you're mugged being prepared doesn't stop you being intimidated."

To my eternal discredit I wasn't quick enough to respond with;

"Not if you're prepared for it. Then it's just a silly little girl waving a knife at you."

We then moved on to the first allegation that I had refused to return to work at 2pm. Here I brought up the minor technical point that earlier that morning I had agreed with the staff that as I had a doctors appointment I would finish work at lunch which began at 1:15pm. Therefore it was totally impossible for me to have refused to return to work at 2pm. The trustees then sort of looked at the floor, shuffled in their seats and agreed that they needed to look at that point in more detail because the previous investigations had failed to address it.

If they had been prepared to actually go and do that they would have discovered that in order to have me suspended Sadie, through her own free choice, had lied to her manager, Peter Phillips. To my mind there is no clearer example of workplace harassment then that. They would have also discovered that if the first investigation had addressed that point it would have to uphold my compliant. As at the time Sadie was a probationary employee they would have had little choice other then to dismiss her.

Instead that investigation chose to completely ignore the rather impressive play I made, rejected the complaint and even before the investigation was held allowed Sadie to move to full employment status.

As Peter's rather misplaced faith in his own abilities now makes it much harder, although far from impossible, to dismiss Sadie the trustees decided to ignore the fact that were completely wrong and upheld the original decision with the statement;

"I must resign myself to accept the constraints of the service"

The only response to that I can think off is to point out that a service is nothing but the sum of it's employees. If one of those employees places unnecessary constraints on that service by failing to do their job then it is the duty of the other parts of that service to either repair or replace the defective elements.

In other news I have to say I am being very entertained by the whole Max Mosley sex scandel saga. Here the wife of an MI5 officer has encouraged Max Mosley to engage in a Nazi themed sex orgy. At the same time she has proved the tapes of this orgy to the News of the World Newspaper. Obviously they printed the story and now Max Mosley is suing the newspaper group for libel costing both sides large sums of money.

Wednesday, 9 July 2008

And that was the G8 summit.

Sandwiched as it was between the Zimbabwe election and the Olympic games it was never go to be as high profile as previous years. The 2008 summit was also hampered by the arrival of three new boys and the departure of one old hand. One of the new boys, Gordon Brown decided to use his arrival on the world stage as an opportunity to make a tit of himself by suggesting the world food crisis could be solved by getting Britons to eat their leftovers and stop wasting so much food.

This announcement so idiotic I can only consider it to be a blatant provocation and chose to ignore it. It was either that or take it as a suggestion I should kill Sadie and keep her in my freezer. After all that's got to the only way she will be able to make a useful contribution to society.

Now with the leaders wives section of the summit over and me being accused of keeping secrets I think it's a good time to tell you what I've been up to over the last couple of days.

Saturday; This was mainly cancelled due to my late entry into the world sleeping championship. Seriously I woke up at around 1pm, got out of the shower about two and just had quick sit down. Suddenly it was five in the evening and time to watch the Doctor Who finale. As I'd just woken up I don't really have a clue as to what happened but apparently it was very good.

Sunday; Watched an excellent British Grand Prix before adding the third coat of paint to the now infamous bathroom ceiling. I think that job is pretty much done by now and I'm just having the internal debate as to whether it would annoy me more to add a fourth coat of paint or to have to go to bed every night knowing it's ;ess then perfect. In the evening I went to the pub where as you may have heard there was a little bit of live entertainment. I should make it clear that rather then being the start of world war three it was just a minor scuffle that was quickly broken up by the bar staff. You would have noticed it happening though.

Monday; Went to see my mother briefly and it's the same old British story. Although life is about choosing from a series of options we will always have to settle for the failure option because our leaders are too scared to choose the success option. Also I got a letter from the DWP informing me that they will be unable to pay me benefits from the June 5th. This is interesting because I haven't claimed from the 5th of June and I hope it's the first in a series of letters telling me I won't be able to claim benefits from every other date I haven't claimed form since the dawn of time.

Tuesday; Didn't do much apart from going shopping. This was no more or less painful then usual. I did however remember to pick up an extra £8 worth of food just so I could throw it away unused.

Wednesday. Got a letter from Mind in Croydon and the message is the same that no matter how well I play the game the rules will always change to make sure I do not win because for some reason we benefit as a society by paying people for jobs they cannot do. Although I've yet to fully digest the correspondence it does seem to leave me with three options and the chance for another numerical list;

  1. Mount a legal challenge against the organisation
  2. Mount a legal challenge against named individuals within that organisation
  3. Do nothing. Legal actions are time consuming and complicated and you have to admit it is quite funny that the council is going to have to pay out upwards of £60,000 a year for a service which does not work. Obviously that's less funny if you're a taxpayer or someone who needs are service that can produce results but hey, I'm a member of the ruling class now so I don't have to worry about mere details like that.

I'm think the option I decide to take will depend on how easy it is for me to find a solicitor. I also have to consider that by defending Sadie the state do honestly believe that they are helping to hide the truth that they always turn their guns on their own.

Today I also went to see my psychiatrist. The appointment was meant to be at 11am but they didn't manage to see me until 1pm. I presume this was done in the hope that I would get bored and leave so they could discharge me for failing to attend. Apparently this is still considered a valid reason for discharging mental patients but I suppose when the system is as badly overstretched as ours it doesn't matter how you get patients off the waiting list just as long as you get them of the waiting list.

While I wouldn't normally discuss the details of my appointments with doctors the re-emergence of the Dwain Chambers drug cheat story I do need to mention one thing. My doctor and I discussed increasing one of my medications. The drug is question is Quitepine Furmate. This is a very powerful sedative the effect of which, like alcohol, is to Sloooowwww my Braaaaiiiin riggggghhhht dowwwwnnn. Apparently this is something I'm going to need a lot more of if I'm going to find a place within the British Establishment.

Friday, 4 July 2008

More fun and games from the Department of Worthless Pervesions

Yesterday they sent me a letter which incidentally arrived already opened. It stated that they were unable to process my claim for Income Support because the people who handle Incapacity Benefit (IB) claims are yet to make a decision as to whether or not I am eligible. As IB is dependent on National Insurance payments which last time I was assessed I hadn't made enough of and I've not made a NI payment since this perhaps isn't the most complicated decision they will ever have to make.

In the very same envelope as the letter telling me they were unable to look my claim they also sent me a letter stating;

"The Decision Maker has looked at your claim and I am sorry to tell you that we cannot pay your income support from [date]. This is because the law gives special reasons, which allows claims to be backdated, and the Decision Maker has decided that the special reasons do not apply to your claim."

Once I'd pacified my grammar nazi over the unnecessary use of commas I went and looked up the "special reasons" which allow claims to be backdated, in tedious numerical order these are;

  1. The appropriate office where the claimant would be expected to make a claim was closed and alternative arrangements were not made
  2. The Claimant was unable to attend the appropriate office due to difficulties with his normal mode of transport and there was no reasonable alternative available
  3. There was adverse postal conditions
  4. The claimant was previously in receipt of another benefit and notification of expiry of entitlement to that benefit was not sent to the claimant before entitlement expired.
  5. In the case of a claim for Working Families Tax Credit, the claimant had previously been entitled to Income Support or Jobseekers allowance and the claim for Working Families Tax Credit was made within one month of expiry of entitlement to that benefit.
  6. In the case of a claim for Income Support or Job Seekers Allowance the claimant had ceased to be a member of a married or unmarried couple within the period of one month before the claim was made;
  7. During the period of one month before the claim was made a close relative of the claimant died. For this purpose, "close relative" means partner, parent or child.

As the only reason I am submitting a new claim is that I was not notified of the expiry of my previous claim I have rather obviously written back advising them to look at their decision again because as I've been told time and time again everybody has to follow the rules.

Coincidentially I saw an advert for a job at the DWP and it was being sold under the slogan "SHAPE A POLICY WHICH IS REALLY WORKING!" which has to be a case for the advertising standards authority.

Thursday, 3 July 2008

Clearly I haven't quite got the hang of this negotiation lark.

Take the Bristol issue as an example. I've indicated that I'd be happy to forget about the whole thing. The only condition I would require is that using a indirect contact mechanism the state assures me that the situation is being run in line with the participants best interests. Failing that I would be prepared to settle for the state demonstrating it had obtained the participants informed consent.

The state responded to this concession with such a level of anger that you would thought I'd asked for a day trip to the lost city of Atlantis or something as equally impossible to achieve.

Next we have the Enterprise House thing. Despite the fact I think it would be in every bodies best interests to see a certain person to be crushed into the dirt I again offered a series of concessions. I would be happy for the young lady in question to be moved sideways into a job of equal pay and status regardless of how ill qualified she is. I've also made it clear that I would be perfectly happy to work in a different project anyway int he UK just as long as it provides the environment that E/H is no longer able to provide.

This was met with more aggression and a refusal to engage as if the government thought the lesson I had to learn to get ahead int he UK was how to tolerate incompetence.

As apparently one of the great crimes I've committed is to protest against foolish government policy I decided to concede and turn over a new leaf. I did this by urging people not to participate in anti-G8 protests in Croydon. Again the government responded with more aggression and a mobilisation of the trolls not seen since, well the Olympic flame protests.

The only way I can envisage the government being angry about me urging people not to protest was if rather then considering protest to be a crime they were trying to use as part of Croydon's re-generation strategy. If that was the case, having done a lot of work on the issue almost a decade ago way back in 2000/01, I have to assure them that Croydons problems are too vast and deeply ingrained to be solved by a few banner waving people on bikes.

So I am totally baffled by this "negotiation" thing but then I suppose I was brought up to believe that negotiation was a process based on integration whereby both sides make small concessions to reach an amicable agreement. Anything else is dictation based on subjugation which can only be attempted when one side is superior to the other.

In other news the situation in Zimbabwe appears to have finally ground to it's inevitable halt with the African Union refusing to bring sanctions against the nation and the MDC refusing to form a government of national unity. Although this is a far from ideal situation I think it is the best possible outcome possible following the catalogue of failures before, during and after the election.

Many in the west are now calling for a raft of tougher sanctions and a power sharing agreement with Mugabe with one British MP even calling for sanctions to be laid against South Africa. I cannot back any such calls because I am at a loss to see how power sharing with Mugabe will lead to anything other then a paralysis of the Zimbabwean government. Also I cannot see how international sanctions will do anything to weaken Mugabe's position. I can however see that they will make life worse for the people of Zimbabwe and I don't think that is a price they should be forced to pay just so British politicians get to avoid admitting their failures by pretending they're getting tough on Mugabe.

There has been some good news in sport because Andy Murray has been knocked out of Wimbledon. Now while I don't have a problem with Murray or indeed give much of a damn about tennis either way I am glad this is over because some people have been attempting to draw a comparison. I object to this for three simple reasons;

  1. The rules of tennis are fixed and agreed in advance. This means that the rules cannot be changed just as soon as Murray looks like he could win. It's just a shame the Scottish guy wasn't good enough.
  2. While I may be a bit English, Irish and Welsh I still have some self respect left so calling me Scottish is only going to be offensive.
  3. Homosexuality was legalised in the UK in 1967 so I can see no reason to continue with much after that.

On a cryptic note I should just say; "Wow you've thought yourself all the way to 2012, there's a clever boy. Sadly when we talk about the future we're thinking in terms of 2020/30 but I'm sure by 2009 you'll have figured out what happened to you in 2007.

Tuesday, 1 July 2008

Got to love the home improvement metaphors.

For the last four days I've been painting the bathroom. Well I say painting the bathroom what I actually been doing is trying to scrape off the horrid black mould which seems to have infested it. The bathrooms decision to reduce itself to nothing more then a glorified petrie dish has meant I spent three days messing about with wire brushes, sandpaper, sugar soap and a mildly toxic fungicide which left me feeling dizzy and a little bit sick, so a typical Glastonbury weekend then.

In much the same way as the recent plumbing problem led to much talk of defective stopcocks this latest little project has caused me to have conversations with my dad along the lines of;

"Well I'm very sorry but I can't get started until I get rid of this nasty little parasite."

and;

" If you want me to do the job I suggest you shut up and let me get on with it."

All of which does make me wish my house was properly fitted with all the latest surveillance cameras and listening devices because it certainly would have been one hell of a performance. Today I managed to finally put the first coat of paint on. As this is supposedly magic paint which goes on pink and then dries to white I'm excited to see will happen because at the moment my bathroom is looking very, very pink.

Not much else has been going on really. Robert Mugabe scored a shocking victory int he Zimbabwe election but as he was the only candidate that was to be expected. It was interesting to note that despite the campaign of violence and he only managed to secure 2million of about 4.5million available but that's all a mute point now.

The other vaguely interesting thing was the local polices decision to respond to my urging people not to centre anti-G8 protests in Croydon with a vertiable orchestra of sirens and rotor blades. Now freshly festooned with something of an emulsion earring I'm of to the pub.