It's Offical My Body Hates Me.

In the absence of anything better to do I've been spending a lot of time in the gym focusing mainly on stamina work. This means that I've been unashamedly overexcerising and generally pushing my body to its limits in the hope that eventually those limits will increase.

This is quite good because it allows me to maintain some level of structure and discipline in my ultimately wasted days but it does leave me very, very tired. On the plus side though the horrible burning sensation that inhabited my muscles yesterday has been replaced by a dull ache, that and the fact I've lost a stone in the two months over Christmas.

I woke up this morning, alright this afternoon, and went to get out of bed only to discover that no part of my body below my neck was actually talking to me. After 5 minutes of gentle negotiation I was finally able to get up and get up as far as the sofa from where it took another half hour of motivational speaking to get it together to get dressed and leave the house. Due to the soul destroying rain I was forced to wear a coat and apparently this extra weight put me to the limit of just what my back could carry.

Sweat, strain and suffering aside over the last couple of days I've been hearing some encouraging things about how the next stage of my grievance procedure will go. On the face of it this should boost my confidence but sadly I got to hear very encouraging things about the first stage of the grievance only to have my confidence cruelly dashed when things didn't go as they should.

This leads me to believe that perhaps, just perhaps rather then making private statements and assurances certain people are making very positive public comments about how things will go will go in order to get my hopes up only to have my confidence shattered at a later date.

If of course someone was involved in such a nefarious activity they could only be doing it in the hope that eventually everyone will tire of the constant rollercoaster of emotions and at the end of it all my will would have been broken and I will docilely follow whatever path is offered to me.

Obviously though while things are still in postal service induced slow motion it would be careless to go into too much detail because a lot of people involved seem to be under the impression that they're players at this level and someone of them apparently hold some Scottish nationalist feelings.

In other news I've now finally come to the end of House which means I've got to decide whether to move straight on to The Wire or move onto some films starting with The Lives of Others which should be interesting if a little German. This choice is only been complicated by the fact that I've been hit by this pressing desire to watch Hard Candy again which is a very, very, very good film in a kind of dark, intense, psychologically unsettling sort of way.