Sorry Did I Miss Something.

As those of you who follow me on Twitter may know I've spent the day down in Brighton visiting that friend who spent most of last summer building a deck in his back garden. As that deck is now finished save for the barbecue and the sun was shining we spent most of the afternoon sitting on that deck drinking beer discussing how best to finish off the barbecue. Personally I suggested knocking it down to build a fire-pit over which we could spit-roast prime hog. However that might require a little bit more research. We of course also discussed his book-keeping/accountancy efforts in support of his small business. I for one am predicting a very taxing tax season.

In what I can only interpret as an effort to ruin my rather pleasant day the Officer In Charge (OIC) my case known by the codeword "Sarastro" took the opportunity for call me to arrange for me to come into Croydon custody centre to resolve my case. We agreed that by "resolve" he meant come in at 15:00 (local) on Thursday (25/7/13) to be charged with criminal damage contrary to (S) section 1.1 of the 1971 Criminal Damage Act. Crucially he does not want to interview me again. This is clearly an attempt to make sure what I failed to mention when questioned can be used to infer guilt should I rely on it on Court. That is quite easily explained away by the fact that the female Police And Criminal Evidence (PACE) Act 1984 Inspector insisted that my father sat in on the interview as my "Appropriate Adult" to exert social pressure and I quote; "Stop him telling funny stories." After immediately finishing the conversation I Tweeted that the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) will drop the case the moment Croydon police hand it to them.

This was quickly followed by the news that a man had been charged with the murder of Police Constable Keith Blakelock in the riots on the Broadwater Farm estate in Tottenham, London, UK in 1985. This is a very long running saga in the UK with a mentally deficient black man Winston Silcott being framed by the police and sent to prison only to be freed on appeal in 1991 following a long campaign. The story was recently revived after something I said prior to US President George W Bush's post-Iraq invasion visit to London in autumn 2003. I am not going to expand on that any further but the people who were there will remember. Therefore the CPS announcing that they have sufficient evidence to charge in this case could be the UK indicating that it will pervert the course of justice in this case in order to punish me for my involvement in the Iraq war. It could also be the CPS announcing that they've now got enough evidence to charge certain people with attempting to pervert the course of justice. Either way I think I need to find a lawyer. Well actually what I need is a para-legal to play the evidence disclosure game and a barrister to provide the theatrics. Sorry if that leaves me unable to provide information in the current debate over Legal Aid in the UK Parliament but this is one of the areas where I really don't qualify as "typical."

Anyway while I was sitting on that deck in the sunshine drinking beer it certainly appears that the US and the UK have been having a right ding dong of an argument. If you chose to ignore the 9 months preparation work that the Duchess of Cambridge has been putting in it certainly looks like the US started it on Monday (22/7/13) with their crash of a South-West airlines Boeing 737 at La Guardia airport in New York State. The aircraft landed gear up on its nose after its front nose gear failed. "Nose Gear" could of course be a reference to Cocaine. "Gear Up" could be a reference to arming oneself as if preparing for war.

The main story of the day though was the wait for the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge to emerge cradling their new son for the world to see. The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge's "new baby" could be a reference to me because not only have I met Prince William and Prince Harry I've actually met them on numerous occasions specifically over the period where their parents Prince Charles and Lady Diana were divorcing. Therefore I have forever burned into my memory an image of a scared, roughly 10 year old Prince Harry hiding behind his older brother's leg looking for emotional support. However the wait for the baby to emerge was also intended to be a reference to this child I supposedly fathered after raping a woman in roughly 2007. The intention was to promote discussion over whether Croydon would also be bringing up that alleged offence in Court. If they intend to do that I would say that they will need a very loyal Monarch because generally Courts bound by the Rome Statute tend to take a dim view of using vulnerable women as live HIV test subjects.

The two teenage girls who went missing only to be found dead in the UK's river Wear were supposed to be a confusing reference to any number of teenage girls I may pose a threat to because I'm a paedophile/I've got AIDS/I'm a rapist/I'm a psychopath (delete as appropriate). It also touched on the "Child Not Bride" campaign against child marriage that is mainly aimed at developing nations with my full support. The UN report on Rwanda's funding of the March 23rd (M23) rebels in Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC) was a United Nations (UN) attempt to get the US to make it clear that they no longer endorse the behaviour of the Notting Hill Housing Trust (NHHT). The conviction in Florida, US for two Brits over a 'Boiler Room' fraud scam was the US and the UK agreeing that yes someone has certainly been defrauded over recent years.

The UK Monarchy's Tweet about the "Boston Stump" was intended to be interpreted as a sick joke meant to fire up the UK's para-Olympians as the competed in Lyon, France. However in reality it was intended to put pressure on Massachusetts state police during the disciplinary hearing over the officer who released the pictures of Dzhokhar Tsarnaev with a snipers red dot on his forehead. I believe the officer was put on restricted duties. I agree with this light punishment because let's just say that having taken the Boston (political) stump I appear to have found some support. Or to put it another way; FBI SWAT team = intimidating. Croydon borough CID - not so much.

As for Egypt's Independent you may need to tell me twice but you don't need to tell me a third time. The military's announcement that they'd captured a Sinai militant in possession of a military uniform could have been a very clunky way of reminding the Egyptian public that during Morsi's rule there were a great number of Muslim Bortherhood members who picked up military and police uniforms. Therefore the fact that an attacker was wearing a military uniform does not automatically mean they are a member of the military. Either that or someone has kicked Egypt really hard because the issue of stolen military uniforms resonates all the way from Afghanistan, Syria and Libya through to Mali and the DRC.

23:59 on 23/7/13.