Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

With that post being left blank I've been set so far back I may have trouble catching up so today is going to be an especially long ramble to see if we can bring everybody back up to speed.

Yesterday I had my haircut and then started writing up the days posting. When i was about halfway through there was a knock on the door and low and behold it was thieving Linda spinning some sob story about how her life is really difficult because a lot of people who've made her company want to kick the shit out of her. I have to admit I did kind of stop listening half way through because the whole state of affairs does just underline the importance of Option A.

As I was closing the door I noticed a hand delivered envelope addressed to me. I opened it up and it was a letter from my line manager informing me that I'd been suspended for "Intimidating another team member."

Obviously I quickly phoned him up pointed out that taking such drastic action without speaking to me was very bad management practice and bordered on the anti-social especially as to do it he'd actually taken all the time to visit my home address in person but some how lacked the courage to knock on the door. After finding himself unable to explain exactly what element of my behaviour was "intimidating" other then this other team member said so he agreed to allow me to come in this morning to discuss it and he'd give me the same chance he's given the shit.

Happy with that I then finished up the blog (you really should try reading it, it's amazing), sat down to read the paper and then in slightly longer then it takes to read a blog the phone rang. It was my line manager to tell me that he'd spoken to his line manager and there was no way on earth he could lift my suspension and I would be unable to enter the premises until it had been lifted.

I then obviously spoke to his line manager who told me a very different story because the decision is all in my line managers hands and he can lift my suspension anytime he likes.

Interestingly the "intimidating behaviour" I directed at my fellow team member was to write a letter to no-one in particular which was simply the rantings of a mad man with lots of references to the security services, paranoia and phrases such as "festive suicide pact". Along with that letter I enclosed a card telling the team member to pass the letter over to the community mental health team.

To me that's either intimidation or an acid test to determine her competence to work in a mental health project because with the £20,000 we're paying her we could have a properly trained and qualified mental health nurse. I can see the interview question now;

"A service user is quite clearly using the plot. During this process they hand you what appears to be a suicide note and asks you to pass it over to the mental health team. Do you?

A. Contact the community mental health team and ensure the service user is properly cared for.

or

B. Have the service user suspended and cast them away from anyone who may be able to assist with their worsening condition.

I have to admit though that I'm hardly gutted about being suspended at this time of year because I wasn't being paid to work there and my suspension will not appear on my employment record so all I've really lost is the opportunity to drag myself out of bed in the middle of January to have certain elements scheme on me.

Excuse me while the littlest tear in the world falls.

After that I made dinner and went to have a drink with my mum, apparently I've torn the ligaments in my foot.

This brings me neatly onto today where I got up at lunchtime, had breakfast and started doing this. Later I might go watch a dvd but there's so much news flying about I might just sit around watching that.

The big news story of the day is that prosecutors in England and Wales have been instructed to jail for two years certain people who are caught using their mobile phone while driving.

I have to say this hasn't come soon enough because there's nothing more annoying then when you're driving along at a legal speed with a full awareness of the the hazards up ahead and in full control of the vehicle when all of a sudden someone from the slow lane cuts across the front of you flipping your car into a ditch.

Except possibly when the only explanation they can offer is "But you might of had an accident somewhere in the future."

Obviously today's post has taken up so much time I can't tell the stories I promised yesterday because they're both long and complicated but it doesn't matter there's only a very small group of people who think they're still secrets anyway.

I will however pose another question today;

"What language do you need to speak to convince your line manager that he has made a mistake so horrible it threatens to undermine the future of his company and the only way he can solve it is through an embarrassing U turn?"