Thursday, 13 March 2014

The 2014 Winter Para-Olympics: Day 6(ish)



Today's big story has been the final day of the preliminary round of the wheelchair Curling. This saw TeamGB first take on TeamUSA and then China in an effort to reach the knock-out stage. TeamGB, TeamUSA and likely the International Para-Olympic Committee (IPC) conspired to make it look as if there was some urgent discussion going on between the UK and the US before dumping that discussion in China's lap to see how they would cope. As things stand in UNFCCC negotiations the US and China represent the two main opposing camps and as usual the UK is trying to carve out a role for itself as an intermediary.

The largest part of this supposed discussion between the US and the UK has been the search for Malaysian Airlines flight MH370 which has been missing since the start of the para-Olympics. Obviously the Malaysians - acting at least partly on the UK's behalf - are trying to make this situation as complicated as possible. For example the search for the two Iranian passengers who were travelling on stolen passports was a reference to a reasonably well supported theory that the 1988 bombing of Pan-Am flight 103 over Lockerbie, UK was not the work of the Libyans but actually the work of the Iranians and Syrians in retaliation for the shooting down by the US of an Iranian passenger jet earlier in the year. With the Lockerbie bombing being used as an unofficial justification for the United Nations Security Council (UNSC) backed attack on Libya in 2011 suggesting that Muammar Qaddafi was not responsible for the bombing is hugely inflammatory - not least because Syria is already under attack and Saudi Arabia has most certainly got Iran in it's sights.

At its core though the MH370 story has 153 Chinese civilians missing, presumed dead and the Malaysians are refusing to tell China what has happened to it's citizens. Nations have gone to war over less. By refusing to tell China what has happened the Malaysians are hoping that the pressure from the relatives of the missing passengers will force the Chinese to deploy its latest military technology in the search. Primarily this forces China to expose its capabilities but the Malaysians - and by extension the UK - were hoping to use this exposure of Chinese technology would make it look like they were explaining to the US that the Rihanna operation failed because South-East Asian nations were perfectly capable of tracking Rihanna's plane as she made her way around the South China Sea including the unscheduled detours to Thailand. For example the Malaysians have recently requested help in the search from the US - the US obviously being the only people on earth capable of interpreting radar data(!)

To confuse the situation further the UK today released the findings of the inquest into the 2009 crash of a Bond Helicopters SuperPuma in off the coast of Scotland. Obviously people in espionage circles were expected to know about this announcement in advance. That helicopter crash occurred during the emergency G20 Summit that was held in London to formulate a response to the 2008 financial crisis so could be a reference to any number of things. Also (incorrect) comparisons have been drawn between the 2009 crash and the recent crash of a police helicopter - also operated by Bond - in Glasgow, Scotland adding an extra level of confusion to the situation.

For their part the US already had in play the investigation into the large building fire in San Francisco, California and the investigation/rising death toll from the building collapse in New York City both of which occurred yesterday (11/3/14). Added to that overnight a car crashed into a crowd of concert goers outside a venue of the South by Southwest (SXSW) music/film/technology festival in Texas. Obviously through the concert/tour theme the US was trying to make it look like a inquest into what went wrong with the Rihanna operation. The fact the incident is being blamed on a drunk driver is supposed to indicate that the US are still blaming me entirely for the failure of the Rihanna operation and that they think I must have been drunk/under the influence of some narcotic not to let them carry out their plan. Continuing the dangerous driving/narcotic theme there was also a lengthy car chase through the streets of Denver, Colorado that saw the suspect steal several vehicles before being caught. Again this could mean pretty much anything. In an effort to make it look like there was a conversation going on the UK piped up with a pedestrian who was killed in a collision with a police car which was chasing a suspect vehicle.

My favourite section of the back and forth between the US and the UK though began with a US story about two teenage girls in Maryland, Virginia who bullied a 16 year old autistic boy into performing sex acts and to doing dangerous stunts like throwing himself in to a frozen pond. Obviously the theme of exploiting someone with autism could be interpreted as a reference to the various ways my high-functioning autistic father has been exploited particularly over the criminal mis-treatment of my grandmother. The UK then moved the conversation on with an announcement that various charities are calling on the police to do more about so-called 'Mate-Crime.' Borrowing from the term "Hate-Crime" this describes a practise in which people pretend to become friends (mates in slang) with people with learning difficulties in order to steal from them, physically assault them, sexually abuse them and generally humiliate them. As this story was routed through the BBC's pop-music radio station "Radio 1" this was clearly intended to be a reference to Rihanna's faux relationship with Drake. After all with Rihanna's world already having shrunk dramatically since 2012 it is hard to see her coming back from this rather begging the question; "Just how stupid is she?!"

Although I doubt it was at the front of anyone's minds the issue of learning difficulties/mental retardation is quite an interesting one to bring up during the para-Olympics. That is because the para-Olympics are often mistaken for the Special Olympics. The para-Olympics are simply for athletes with some form of physical disability. The Special Olympics on the other hand are for people who are so stupid they fit into the medical definition of "retarded." That is to say they - for a variety of reasons - are so stupid that they are incapable of understanding things like the fact that you need to eat food in order to avoid starving to death or that sticking your fingers into an electrical socket is generally a bad idea.

While I can't immediately think of any examples at the Sochi games this misconception that people with a physical disability are also mentally retarded is a big issue within disability rights. The classic example being Cerebral Palsy which can make sufferers look physically quite odd and give them great problems with things like speech that can make them appear stupid. However this is simply caused by a problem with the way the brain communicates with the rest of the body and people with Cerebral Palsy are no more or less likely to be mentally retarded then anyone else. In fact the TeamGB equestrian para-Olympian Sophie Christiansen who has Cerebral Palsy is not only of average intelligence but is actually so clever that she's gone beyond the level of genius into the category known as "frighteningly intelligent."

With such a complex set-up the TeamGB v TeamUSA Curling match couldn't be anything less then dramatic and both teams played their part. In the early part of the game it was all TeamUSA before TeamGB put on one of the most dramatic comebacks in Olympic Curling history to win 8-7 in effectively extra-time. Sadly TeamGB then went on to play China who wiped the floor with them 6-3. With Russia losing to Slovakia at the same time this meant that TeamGB would be forced into a play-off tomorrow (14/3/14) where they would most likely face China all over again. Fortunately though Russia defeated Slovakia ending a possibility of a re-match between TeamGB and China which certainly gives TeamUSA and TeamGB plenty to think about in terms of the current relationship between China and Russia.

Away from the Curling arena today also saw the first big drugs scandal of the para-Olympics. Italian Ice Sledge Hockey player Igor Stella was banned for 18 months and fined USD1,570 after testing positive for a banned steroid three days before the start of the games. A steroid is obviously a hormone that forms part of the endocrine system which is crucial to the physiological basis for homosexuality. 

Although details are still thin on the ground at the moment due to the shortness of the ban I suspect that Stella had tested positive for a cortical steroid that he could have accidentally ingested as part of a cold and flu treatment similar to the treatment I was using for my recent cocaine related sinus infection. Although this type of steroid is unlikely to have improved Stella's athletic performance on testing they can mimic other steroids that do so are banned. This sort of accidental steroid use was behind many of the bans that were handed out in the final week of the Olympics. Beyond that "Stella Artois" is a brand of beer that is famous for sometimes sending people - myself included - a bit loopy so the Italians could be attempting to promote discussion about that. Also during Paris Fashion Week I mentioned that Rihanna's decision to attend the Stella McCartney fashion show would be used by the UK to drive Rihanna onto the para-Olympic agenda by claiming they had some special insight into her life. As such the Stella case could also be the Italians attempting to promote discussion about that plan which has grown to include Rihanna joining Drake in the UK in an effort to sell the idea that they are mating/dating.

Then of course there was the small matter of a hockey semi-final between defending para-Olympic champions Canada and TeamUSA. Due to Channel 4's refusal to broadcast this and my refusal to watch livestreams I still I haven't seen this match although I hope to watch it tomorrow.  I gather though that the Canadians more or less failed to turn up handing TeamUSA a 3-0 win. With Russia defeating Norway 4-0 earlier in the day this means we will finally get the gold medal match between Russia and the USA that we were cruelly denied at the Olympics due to the American backed coup in Ukraine.

I though prefer to think of this result as a tacit agreement between the USA and Canada that Drake will immediately return to his native Toronto where he will be free to to develop his career in the fast food industry. As I'm sure Drake's learning though if you want to sell out stadiums you've got to hype things up a bit.

20:20 on 13/3/14 (UK date).

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