I Had a Day Off Thursday.

I had planned to spend it at the gym. Unfortunately the previous (26/2/14) day's walk to and from the barbers only served to remind me how much strength and mobility I've lost in my right ankle recently. As a result I decided to upgrade my exercise regime to "Strolling."

The first part of that strolling brought me into the kitchen where I decided to make a stew. At that point my neighbour "Ratko Mladic" decide to arrive to 'improve' the lock on my kitchen door. I, of course, decided to leave him and my father to it. In fact I settled down to watch an episode of "Castle" in the front room. I think it may have been the "Steampunk" episode but around 25 minutes in I thought - looking across one of those crime scenes - "Crikey! Those sirens sound real."

Anyway as I looked up and left through the window I saw a London Metropolitan Police Support Unit (MET PSU) arriving at speed. I also saw two young black gentleman 'bailing it' over the bonnet of a silver hatchback. One exited stage-right pursued by presumably two members of the Met's Tactical Support Group (TSG). The other exited stage-left up my driveway pursued by two police officers. My first thought was; "He's going to get a surprise."

22:05 on 2/3/14 (UK date).

Unfortunately by the time I'd extricated myself and my surprising thought from the sofa it had all blown past. I gather what is now known as "The Suspect" leapt the rear wall pursued by one of the police officers. The other, more black looking, police officer remained - under supervision - in my garden. It was it at this point I went back to TV. However I gather that in the full "Hot Fuzz" style the "Police Officer" and "The Suspect" enjoyed a few fences of chase before the Suspect was apprehended. Apparently the other Suspect was also apprehended close to what are known locally as "The Steps."

It turns out that this was all caused by a car that failed to stop. I'm assuming that the TSG chased it into our 'cul-de-sac' at which point the vehicle was abandoned. As a result of this and their worried demands for a helicopter at said address the TSG were punished by being forced to stand guard over 'said address' until the forensic team were available to remove the vehicle. About three hours later I decided that - even during the Olympics - it was a horrific waste of resources for 8 police to stand guard when 1 Police Community Support Officer (PCSO) or even a private "Crime Scene Guard" really could have done the job. After all if I am to receive a diplomatic guard I expect there to be at least two of them and for them both to be excessively armed.

Obviously we have had calls from "the other place" suggesting that I sue the police over that criminal damage escapade. I am clearly interested in moving forward with both that idea and the recovery of my hammer. Apart from the Sochi games this effort has been somewhat hampered by the fact that "Sarastro" - the detective in charge of my case - is now somewhat less then a detective. Apparently only the "Officer In Charge (OIC)" is allowed to 'make decisions' regarding "evidence" though.

22:35 on 2/3/14 (UK date).