The UK's Contribution to Mali and Zimbabwe.

As I touched on in my previous post with the election results in Mali and Zimbabwe being released in Friday (2/8/13) we are now in a period in which certain elements within the developed world were hoping those two nations would be torn apart by violence and legal challenges in response to those controversial election results. As such the US has been making a great effort to make sure that Rihanna is front and centre of everybody's attention with lots of earnest discussion over whether Chris Brown's handlers will again intervene to force the couple to reunite. The US' neighbour Canada has contributed to the general level of confusion with an incident in which two young boys were killed by a python snake in French speaking New Brunswick. Personally I think this was an attempt by English speaking Canada to be seen participating in the UK's efforts against Mali and Zimbabwe while reminding the US that it is most probably time to let the Rihanna/Chris Brown operation come to its natural conclusion.

As I also mentioned in my previous post being far more heavily invested in Zimbabwe the UK has gone to an extra special effort to put pressure on all parties by spreading confusion and tension. So it goes without saying that Shrien Dewani will indeed to appealing against his extradition to South Africa to the UK's Supreme Court. The UK's efforts though have largely been built around a Channel 4 mini-series called "Southcliffe." If I was writing a professional review of this program I would say that it is incredibly well acted and deeply thought provoking. That's because it is a much more polite way of saying it's a bit boring really with the director choosing to largely disregard a plot in favour of giving us lots of long, lingering shots in which the viewer can ponder how the issues raised affect them in their own lives.

What little of a plot there is centres around a character called "Stephen" who lives in the fictional small market town of Southcliffe and one day decides to go on a shooting spree. The Stephen character served in the British Army and applied to join the elite SAS but failed selection. However he likes to tell people in his small town that he served heroically with the SAS leading to his friends and neighbours thinking he is a bit of a weirdo. Although it's not been officially diagnosed it's heavily hinted that Stephen cares for his elderly mother who has dementia. As such the Stephen character could equally be me or my father. The "Anna" character is pretty obviously a less ginger version of the Anna featured in the Bristol Abuse Case. Beyond that there's a social worker, a pub landlord with a fondness for the band Oasis, a serving soldier possibly suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, a TV news reporter with a troubled past, lots of police officers and plenty of characters that people in the UK will be familiar with in their everyday lives. Well I'm familiar with at least. As the painfully pretentious series continues we will explore how societies failings caused Stephen to go on his murderous rampage. Basically back in 2006 the Communists at Channel 4 promised the UK Crown that they would take control of me and deliver something by 2012. It's 2013 and Channel 4 haven't delivered so it's time for them to examine their failings.

In the meantime though the UK Crown were hoping that I would be experiencing a long, hot summer under constant harassment from occupants 50 Beechwood Avenue and associates. They were hoping that the broadcast of Southcliffe would make the stress all too much and something dramatic would happen. Of course something dramatic has already happened but it was far less dramatic than the Crown was hoping. As a result G4S have tonight pulled out of their electronic tagging contract because well before a UK Court can impose punishment such as electronic tagging it first has to demonstrate that a criminal offence has been committed.

Showing remarkable resilience though following the unsuccessful broadcast of the second of four episodes of Southcliffe last night (5/8/13) the UK sprung back with a shooting incident at a farm in South Lanarkshire, Scotland. This looks like a domestic incident but we were all supposed to speculate whether the broadcast of Southcliffe played a role in the incident. After all the UK were using to hope the power of TV to trigger me into doing something dramatic. The fact that the farm in question also has a horse riding stables attached was particularly cunning because it brought in the incident in which a steward was trampled by two police horses brought into to control a pitch invasion following the League Cup 1st round match between Blackpool and Preston North End. The match was obviously arranged to provoke a minor disturbance in order to invoke discussion about about the recent July 12th rioting in Belfast, Northern Ireland. You see although in Northern Ireland they take things much more seriously this type of disorder is not uncommon on council housing estates across the UK mainland in August. The football match was an attempt to keep the disorder within controlled environment of a football stadium rather then a housing estate. The horse incident seems to be an added bonus. What appears to have happened is that the steward attempted to grab someone running onto the pitch as the horses advanced. Being kind of thick one of the police horses instinctively swerved to hit the person running on to the pitch knocking the steward under the hoofs of the second horse. The question of course is did the person running onto the pitch know that the horse would react in that way?

The horse trampling also fed beautifully into the announcement about dangerous dogs. 'Dangerous Dogs' is of course a long standing UK codeword for young, mainly black gang members. Therefore the announcement could have been a reference to the occupants of 50 Beechwood Avenue and associates. Also the Dangerous Dogs Act 1991 is a perfect example of a poorly written law. However it is quite common for the residents of council housing estates who sometimes engage in August disorder to own and keep dangerous dogs which sometimes leads to some of these dangerous dogs munching on the occasional child. Of course owners affinity or lack there of with living things such as horses is often a factor in these fatal dog attacks. Of course the horse trampling could also be viewed as an attempt to encourage footballs fans to take an interest in horse racing which in turn seems like a protest against payday loan companies such as Wonga.

Also in the UK we've had the tragedy of a schoolgirl killing herself after being bullied by Internet trolls on the site ask.fm. Apart from the Communists seemingly never ending desire for the Internet and the wider world being so heavily regulated that no-one can ever again point out to them that they're idiots this also fed into the news that UK Olympic gymnast Beth Tweddle has retired. You see with all her teeth I wouldn't be surprised to learn that Beth Tweddle has been the victim of Internet trolls at least once. Therefore an outsider might mistake this for an attempt to invoke a highly complex argument from the 2012 Olympics. Tom Daley immediately springs to mind.

Finally there's been some nonsense about the government introducing news laws to discourage NHS hospitals from killing their elderly patients. This could obviously be interpreted as some highly important announcement about my grandmother's case. Personally I think it was the NHS' obsession with fighting tobacco smoking that ruined it all for everyone.

Anyway got a headache yet?

20:25 on 6/8/13.