Pussy Update.

I know. I'm sorry but there's been lots of exciting news amongst our feline friends.

In the middle of March my cat suddenly and mysteriously lost his voice. He just walked in on day and started to move his mouth as if to miaow but no sound came out. This surreal and disturbing scene almost caused me to make a post entitled "My Cat Has Lost His Miaow!" but I resisted the temptation. I am glad to report that after about a week my cat's voice returned although we are slightly envious of the time when he was quiet.

My cats arch-nemesis. The black cat from next door. Has finally come of age and proved himself to be a sleek, muscular and highly efficient hunting machine. His owners have decided to mark this milestone in the traditional fashion by awarding him with a large bell to hang around his neck. The idea of this bell is to warn the poor, little birdies that he is on the prowl and generally slow down his attacks. My cat is finding the whole situation to be nothing short of hilarious.

My mothers cat, Sam, has been having a much worse time of things. On the morning of April 4th my mother went out to the garden to find him dead. Apparently the otherwise healthy 7-year old just suddenly dropped dead from natural causes. As there seems to have been alot of that going around this summit season I think one of my mother neighbours poisoned him. This served two main purposes. Firstly rumours that Sam, my mother's pussy, had dropped dead from natural causes is the sort of brain melting story that would give a few of the NATO delegates a stroke. Secondly causing my mother grief would make me feel compelled to strengthen a familial link that has been strained of late. This familial link is key to the cunning trap the Brits are planning to spring on me in June.

The other things I need to round up are not strictly related to pussies but I've been doing some more research into the G20 death. On a lot of news wires, bulletin boards and discussion forums used by activists and journalists there have been a number of posts claiming the deceased had died from police inflicted head injuries. The circumstance of the death are inconsistent with head injuries and a brain injury is not the sort of thing even the dimmest Home Office pathologist could get away with missing at autopsy. These rumours appear to be an attempt by MI5/Special Branch to build a sort of grass roots campaign claiming that Mr Tomlinson died of head injuries. This straw man argument would then be easily discredited by the IPCC investigation further helping to cover up the fact that Mr Tomlinson was killed by the police.

Clifton Suspension Bridge in Bristol was closed on Saturday night. Apparently this was the first time this had happened in 40 years and it was done because engineers discovered cracks in the supporting rods. The bridge was meant to re-open on Sunday but I didn't bother check because this couldn't possibly be a reference to the Bristol Abuse Case. After all it would take more then a team of engineers and 24 hours to make that project viable. No wonder the Sun wants you to avert your gaze.

An earthquake has struck Italy killing at least 70. I have to offer my deepest sympathy to the Italians because it appears Silvio Berlusconi was not amongst the dead.