Saturday 11 June 2016

The Euro Pox.

I have just spent the last month providing in depth coverage of the 2016 Eurovision Song Contest. I have also in the past provided extensive coverage of the ceremonines of both a Winter and Summer Olympics.

This is now starting to look like a mistake. It seems that the whole thing has now become so popular in Europe in particular it has become impossible to do anything without some sort of public art performance.

For example the recent 100th anniversary of the World War One battle of Verdun featured some 3,400 German and French schoolchildren running and dancing through the graves at the cemetary of the battle's dead. Even the recent opening of the Gottard tunnel in Switzerland was not immune from this scourge of public art featuring an opening ceremony that seemed to mystify most of the continent.

So it should hardly come as a surprise then that prior to last night's start of the Euro 2016 football tournament in France we were treated to yet another opening ceremony to decode and digest.

This saw the pitch being turned into a sort of maze/ornate garden. This was a reference to the French Palace of Versaille and particularly the current French TV show "Versaille" which is set amid the Royal Court of King Louis XIV at the time of the building of the grand Palace.

At a cost of around USD/Euro 30million per 55 minute episode this is by far the most expensive show that Canal+ has ever produced. With them being forced to go as far afield as Canada to raise this money the show is also the first they have produced fully in English.

I had sort of been hoping to save Versaille up for an update on the sex & nudity debate that seems to have been a running theme in European - particularly British - TV this year. The main issue behind this discussion is that due to the increasing American influence program makers have been finding it increasingly difficult to include sex & nudity - particularly female nipples - in their work even when the plot requires it.

Versaille appears to have swung completely too far in the opposite direction. In the first episode in particular it seems that whenever they had the choice between putting in plot & characterisation or sex & nudity they opted for sex & nudity. As a result I seem to know what most of the cast look like without their clothes on but can't for the life of me tell you what character they're supposed to be playing.

Also I can't be the only one noticing more than a slight resemblence between the portrayal of Phillipe I, Duke of Orleans and Benedict Cumberbatch's portrayal of the transgendered character "All" in the movie "Zoolander 2." As far as I'm concerned the sooner he gets killed off the better.

At the centre of the garden there was what appeared to be a children's Carousel which are familiar from fairgrounds across the World. This was a reference to the 1945 musical "Carousel." It is from here that Liverpool FC fans take their anthem; "You'll Never Walk Alone." As such it was intended as a tribute to the recent inquest into the 1989 Hillsborough stadium tragedy.

Then of course came the music of Jacques Offenbach's "Can-Can" along with the synonomous high kicking, female dancers. First performed in the 19th Century this is of course a very famous part of French culture. However I think the specific reference they were aiming for was when it was performed in nightclubs and brothels during World War One. There the thumping of the heavy artillery almost became part of the music.

Due to the high-kicks of the dancers resembling the Goosestepping of the Nazi army it also seemed to be a reference to how it was definantely performed amid the looming Nazi invasion of France during the World War Two. Due to the threat of Islamofascist terrorists such as the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIL) the run-up to Euro2016 has started to feel a bit like that.

I seem to remember US President Obama's campaign slogan being "Yes We Can!" If only he'd made clearer that he meant "Destroy the World."

The ceremony was then handed over to World famous French DJ David Guetta. He began by playing the Black Eyed Peas song; "Let's Get is Started." Do references to "The Black Music" come any clearer than the Black Eyed Peas?

Next Guetta moved on to the song; "Play Hard." The video for this was set amid the Mexican rodeo scene. Obama's Black Lives Matter (BLM) campaign seem convinced, despite all the evidence, that Hispanics such as Mexicans are not white/caucasian. In response to the recent #OscarSoWhite American Hispanics responded with the #NotYourMule campaign to tell African Americans to stop trying to drag them into their lunatic race war.

Guetta finished with "Titanium." The oft used lyric "I'm Bulletproof" seems a tad optimistic amid the current security climate.

During this sequence the can-can dancers started "Twerking" as if they were in an American hip-hop video. The joke being that traditionally can-can dancers are prostitutes. The high-kicking dance is to allow them to show off their wares. American black culture did not come off well in this sequence.

Upcoming Swedish popstar Zara Larsson then performed the official Euro 2016 "This Ones For You." Although no-one knows why every major football tournament has an official pop anthem.

While Larsson was performing a giant Eiffel Tower rose from the stage. This is of course a famous symbol of Paris and France. Following the January 2015 Charlie Hebdo attacks an artist incorporated it into the famous Peace Symbol in what became the iconic image of the attacks.

With its bulbous head as the Eiffel Tower erected itself on stage it seemed to be referring to someone as a massive prick.

The ceremony ended with a flypast by the Patroullie de France military air display team. That explains the recent trend for military air display teams crashing left, right and centre.

What really annoyed me about this opening ceremony is that at the Olympics there's a good 9 or 10 hours between the opening ceremony ending and the start of the sporting action. The Euro 2016 opening ceremony ended about 4 minutes before the start of the opening match. As a result I completely missed the first half that game. As I'm writing this I'm also likely to miss the second game of the tournament.

The alternative opening ceremony was of course provided by rioting English hooligans in Marseille. I'll be back to cover that later. After all they were warned so many times not to do that it's going to take me a while to list all the warnings.

13:25 on 11/6/16 (UK date).

Edited at around 21:00 on 11/6/16 (UK date) to add;

England's hooligans arrived in Marseille challenging the city's 30% Muslim population to a fight by chanting; "ISIL Where Are You."

They attempted to justify Thursday (9/6/16) night's rioting by claiming they were simply defending themselves from local residents. They attempted to justify Friday (10/6/16) afternoon's rioting by claiming they were simply defending themselves from Russian hooligans. They attempted to justify Friday evening's rioting by weirdly claiming that they were simply defending themselves from Polish hooligans. They attempted to blame Friday night's rioting on police brutality.

Blaming the French police is a nonsense argument. Both English and French clubs compete in both the UEFA Champions League and the Europa League. As such in football terms France isn't some far away place with strange customs and incomprehensible policing tactics. In fact the French police probably have almost as much experience dealing with English football fans as they do French ones.

Also for certainly as long as I can remember the custom at this type of tournament is that all competing nations bring with them a policing delegation. This is done to help bridge the language barrier and any culutral differences. This is very much going on at Euro 2016 with quite a large delegation of English police officers active on the ground in Marseille. There is also a large Russian police delegation. The German police delegation has been given permission not only to carry but also use their firearms should the need arise.

What makes the English hooligans behaviour so disappointing is that they've been warned repeatedly over the past month not to do it.

You may remember that on May 10th (10/5/16) the last English Premier League match played at West Ham Utd's Boleyn ground was delayed after an unruly crowd attacked the Manchester Utd team bus. This was done in reference to an Irish rebel song; "The Belfast Brigade."

Elements of England's football hooligans have long appropriated part of that song in the much simpler chant; "No Surrender to the IRA." Amid the chant about shooting down German bombers this is one the main chants the England hooligans have been using in Marseille. Whilst drinking in an Irish pub.

Although because occured during the first Eurovision Song Contest semi-final I had to take some of the melodrama out of it events at the Boleyn ground were condemned from all quarters.

At the Scottish Cup Final of May 21st (21/5/16) there was some limited violence when predominately Catholic Hibernian beat predominately Protestant Glasgow Rangers. Although this was more staged than serious it was again condemned from all quarters. Particularly by Glasgow Rangers. Football clubs do not come more loyal to the British Crown than Glasgow Rangers.

At around the same time as fans were making their way to the English FA Cup final a major London Undergound rail (Metro) station had to be evacuated after someone set off a smoke grenade. This spectacle of a Metro station having to be evacuated following the release of a noxious gas was clearly a reference to the danger of a chemical weapons attack during Euro 2016.

Later that evening the French Cup final between Paris St Germain and Marseille at the Stade de France stadium was marred by crowd violence within the stadium. This prompted an urgent review of Euro 2016 security measures amid concerns that violence by football hooligans could seriously undermine the police's efforts to keep them safe from terrorist attack.

As such there really is no excuse for the scenes we've seen in Marseille. Particulary from people who claim to be so opposed to ISIL.

What we've seen in Marseille today is that for the past two days English hooligans have been running riot claiming they own the city and the police are scared of them. Russian hooligans have decided to correct them on that point. Currently at least one English hooligan is in hospital in a critical condition.

As for the threat from ISIL to Euro 2016 although it is a concern I'm not yet at the point where I'm going to start running around as if my hair was on fire. The Thayls train attack, the Paris Massacres and the Brussels attacks were all the work of a single ISIL cell based in Molenbeek, Belgium.

Although the Belgians didn't move as quickly nor decisively as I would have liked to nip that cell in the bud it has now been largely neutralised. Not least because 7 of its members were killed in Paris, 3 of its members were killed in Brussels and the remaining members seem to have all been arrested.

As such the main threat to Euro 2016 is the possibility that there is another cell that has been kept so well hidden we currently know nothing about it.

If it exists uncovering and disrupting that cell is going to be a lot more difficult if everyone's efforts are distracted by tidying up after football hooligans.

21:36 on 11/6/16 (UK date).