The 2016 Eurovision Song Contest: The Stand Outs. Pt.5

A continuation of Part 4; http://watchitdie.blogspot.co.uk/2016/06/the-2016-eurovision-song-contest-stand_8.html

Georgia: They weren't so much outstanding as outstandingly bad.

Amid the collapse of the Soviet Union Georgian Ultranationalists tried to cleanse the ethnically Russian areas of South Ossetia and Abkhazia. In 1993 this led to Russian peacekeepers being stationed in those areas to protect the ethnic Russian minority. In March of 2008 both Abkhazia and South Ossetia formally applied to be recognised as independent states.

During the Beijing Summer Olympics in August 2008 the Georgian military launched an invasion of South Ossetia seizing the capital Tskhinvali on August 7th (7/8/08). This obviously forced the Russian peacekeepers to fight back in order to expel the invasion force and protect the ethnic minority.

Georgian President Mikheil Saakashvili's calculation that this repelling of the Georgian invasion force would be viewed as "Russian Aggression" triggering a NATO intervention. This would allow Georgia to not only seize control of Abkhazia and South Ossetia but also seize the North Ossetia province from Russia in much the same way as NATO seized the Kosovo province from Serbia back in 1999.

It is testament to how extreme and dangerous US foreign policy has become under President Barack Obama that his predecessor President George W Bush did not fall for these false claims of "Russian Aggression" and refused to support Georgia in the war it had started. Without NATO support the Russian peacekeepers expelled the Georgian invaders in just 8 days.

Since then Georgia has been out in the diplomatic cold.

Within the Eurovision community they made their situation much worse by attempting to enter "We Don't Wanna Put In" by Stephane & 3G in the 2009 Song Contest. Due to the similarity to "Vladimir Putin" this song was viewed as overtly political and therefore ineligible for competition. Georgia were then invited to submit an eligible entry but refused. As a result they chose not to compete that year.

Georgia responded to their decision not to participate in the 2009 Song Contest by very loudly accusing the event organisers of a pro-Russian bias. As a result over the past 7 years no-one in the Eurovision community has been prepared to sit with the Georgian representatives at lunch.

Since then every Georgian Song Contest entry has had one message and one message only. Pleading with people to talk to them again.

Their 2014 song "Three Minutes to Earth" by The Shin and Mariko was possibly the most incoherent Eurovision song I have ever seen. And that is really saying something. It was done entirely on purpose in the hope that we'd all feel sorry for Georgia because the continued isolation was clearly making them weird and incoherent. It didn't work with the song not making it past the semi-final stage.

This year Georgia went in completely the opposite direction. Their intention was to show just how western they are.

They were represented with "Midnight Gold" by Nika Kocharov and Young Georgian Lolitaz who are very much a sort of art school rockband. If I had to find a shorthand to explain their style I would compare them to the US band "The Strokes." However the band members all had their own influences.

For example the lead singer very clearly wants to be Carl Barat from "The Libertines" while the lead guitarist seems to think he's Noel Gallagher from Oasis. Using lots of red, green and blue lighting effects both their live performances had a distinctly psychedelic feel to them while the video in support of song featured the band appearing to play instruments made out of plasticine added to that sensation. That betrayed influences from bands such as the Stone Roses and Primal Scream. The guitar riff itself seemed heavily influenced by "Ashes in the Fall" by Rage Against the Machine.

The problem of course is that all those influences are at least a decade old. To make matters worse this wasn't done in parody of or in reference to those bands. It's just that the coolest band in Georgia is about 10 years out of date.

As such in terms of being Song Contest entry this was almost completely empty with nothing of substance to it. Therefore I wouldn't have voted it into the Grand Final.

However that said on a technical level the song isn't that bad. Also it was quite different from normal Eurovision fare so casual viewers might have seen it as a super hip rebellion against the usual parade of Europop and Torch songs you get at Eurovision.

To show how rebellious he is the lead singer Nika Kocharov changed a line in the song in both the semi-final and Grand Final performance to make a thinly veiled reference to smoking Marijuana. This promotion of illegal activity is technically against contest rules not that anyone was that bothered. To the point I can't even find reference to it on the Internet.

Also on a political level putting the Georgia story into the mix in the Grand Final also helped increase pressure on Shamali Province by highlighting the extent to which their song "1944" is ineligible for competition.

Furthermore one of the big things that Georgia has done to bring itself back into the political mainstream is that in July 2014 they indicted former President Mikheil Saakashvili on a number of charges relating to abuse of power. Particularly in the way that he aggressively put down popular protests against his rule in 2007. The 2008 war is widely considered an attempt by Saakashvili to divert attention from his own corruption and unpopularity.

Saakashvili has so far escaped prosecution first being sheltered by the US and then by Shamali Province who made him Governor of Odessa in May 2015. In that role he is currently blocking international attempts to bring prosecutions over what is termed the "Odessa Massacre" when on May 2nd 2014 (2/5/14) 48 ethnic Russians were burnt alive by members of the Nazi junta in the Trade Union House building in Odessa.

In the hours before the second semi-final British band The Stone Roses announced they would be releasing their first new material in 16 years. That seems to have been scheduled to mock Nika Kocharov and Young Georgian Lolitaz by pointing out just how out of date their influences are.

This led to the UK jury being forced to give Georgia the maximum 12 points in the Grand Final by way of apology.

And because I said I was going to cover absolutely everyone this year;

Hungary: Their song "Pioneer" by Freddie was yet another intense mockery of Shamali Province. It featured lyrics such as; "When you need to run away // From what other people say // Your enemy might be your own mind." 

It also featured the lyrics; "Million lies in a million temples // It’s only fear, // become a pioneer oh-oh" in specific mockery of Shamali Province's Islamofascists anti-Semitism and their attempts to blame all their problems on the Grand Zionist/Masonic Conspiracy.

Spain: Due to their continuing economic hardships it's quite hard for Spain to justify spending much money on their Eurovision entry at their moment. Their neighbour Portugal actually declined to participate this year for exactly that reason.

Spain certainly couldn't justify winning and then having to pay to host the contest in 2017. As such I don't think they'll be that offended if I point out that they didn't put much effort in this year.

Their ridiculously happy, clappy song "Say Yay!" was a clear mockery not just of those nations that voted in favour of creating Shamali Province back in 2015 but also the entire process of nations being forced to vote "Yay!" or "Nay!" to the creation of Shamali Province.

On stage Barei wore possibly the exact same basketball shirt/dress that Rihanna wore at the 2012 iHeartMusic Awards. This was the Spaniards going; "Oh, just stick some stuff about Rihanna in there to mock Obama and The Black Music. After all it's not like the Eurovision nations found the Diamonds World Tour to be a challenge."

For the benefit of possibly only Meghan Trainor I should point out that the Song Contest has a long history of acts using strange gimmicks to make themselves stand out from the crowd.

For example Bucks Fizz who represented the UK back in 1981 did this thing where the two male singers tore the long skirts off the two female singers to reveal short skirts. In 2013 Finland's Krista Seigfrids wore a wedding dress. She wore that wedding dress from the moment she arrived in Sweden until she left Sweden a week later after the contest had ended.

This use of the silly gimmick has become so much part of Song Contest legend that it has spawned numerous drinking games amongst Eurovision fans. In her performance Barei fell over, on purpose as part of this drinking game.

At around 16:55 on 9/6/16 (UK date) I just have Italy left to do. That will be much easier once I've taken a break for dinner.

Edited at around 18:35 on 9/6/16 (UK date) to add;

Italy: This year they were represented by Francesca Michielin with the song "No Degree of Seperation."

Unlike many Song Contest entries this song was not specifically designed for Eurovision. Instead Francesca Michielin is a very big popstar having won their version of X-Factor back in 2011 at the age of just 16. Her records have gone double platinum twice and five times plantinum once. She even appeared on the soundtrack for the big Hollywood movie "Spiderman 2."

No Degree of Seperation is merely a song that Francesca Michielin has released normally as part of her career that Italy have then used to represent them in the Song Contest. Obviously though it is possible for the artist and her record company to hold more than one idea in their heads at the same time.

Sending this type of star to the Song Contest obviously shows great respect for the Eurovision community. In contrast to the complete lack of respect that the US has shown the community in recent years.

In the context of the Song Contest No Degree of Seperation is intended to highlight just how close Italy is to north Africa which puts it on the frontline of the Medeterranian migrant crisis. This obviously places a huge security burdern on Italy.

For example on March 18th 2015 (18/3/15) Islamist terrorists who had pledged alligence to the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIL) attacked mainly European tourists at the Bardo National Museum in Tunisia murdering 22 and injuring 50. It emerged a member of that terrorist cell - Abdelmajid Touil - had posed as a refugee in order to enter Italy where he was arrested on May 20th (20/5/15).

The security burden placed upon Italy is made much worse by the fact that ISIL seem to have a massive chip on their shoulder about both the Catholic Church and the Pope in particular. It is Italy that is tasked with providing security to the Vatican City State where the Pope is based within the Italian capital Rome.

No Degree of Seperation also goes beyond merely indicating support for Russia over the US when it comes to Shamali Province. It recognises Crimea as an inseperable part of Russia.

In its more general context the song laments the lonliness of fame. While they may be adored by millions what a popstar often sees on stage is a sea of anonymous faces staring back at them.

In the video in support of the song this point is emphisied by Francesca Michielin being surrounded by some of her fans. Their faces are obscured and anonymised because they are all wearing 3D Movie glasses. This obviously brings the issue of 3D TV into the technical discussions while reminding everyone that Italian cinema is far superior to American movies.

This lonliness of fame was a particular issue during Rihanna's Diamonds World Tour. The reason she kept being tempted to go back to Chris Brown because she's that famous it's hard for anyone new to get past the immense security that surrounds her. So in the video Francesca Michielin and her fans are seen clutching diamonds/jewels.

That obviously serves to mock Obama and The Black Music because Rihanna's Diamonds tour really wasn't a struggle for the Eurovision nations. I myself took the entire summer off. 

This diamond/jewel reference also showed that Italy had insider information about the the third season of the British TV show "Peaky Blinders" that the UK controversially tried to use as its entry this year. A large part of the storyline in Peaky Blinders focuses on jewels that have been smuggled into the country stuffed up women's *ahem* jewels.

In the stage performance the diamonds/jewels were replaced by neatly trimmed hedges. On the screen behind the stage were projected animated trees.

One of these trees was intended as a reference to the Tree of Life from the Garden of Eden as a reminder of Italy's links with the Roman Catholic Church. As with Malta's entry it would have been revealing to see how nations such as Poland reacted to this reference to Europe's Christian heritage.

However it was also a reference to the large number of fake trees Germany used on stage during its live performance. It order to annoy every one. It was also reference to the trees/magic mushrooms Austria projected during its live performances. In order to mock Germany for annoying everyone.

Obviously Italy reducing Germany's grand artistic statement to purile jokes about "Lady-gardens" or pubic hair can hardly be viewed as a sign of respect for Germany.

So yeah. That's what the Italians come up with. When they're not putting much effort into it.

And now I have finally covered everyone. This is why every year I say; "I'm not going to cover everyone."

19:25 on 9/6/16 (UK date).