Un - Burgled.

As I think I've mentioned, in quite colourful language, my father has been in contact with Croydon Council. On Tuesday, 19/5 he invited members of Croydon Council's "Stay put. Stay Safe!" team round to discuss certain jobs he wanted doing in the property. During the course of this conversation he presented them with a task list that included; #12. Tree over Playroom and #14. Secure Bathroom Window.

Within minutes of the Council team returning to the office the neighbour whose tree was mentioned in item#12 received harassing phone calls in order to get them to cut the tree themselves. Then today, 21/5, my- father's window cleaner turns up of his own accord and proceeds to spend the next hour going over every inch of every window in the property. Sadly this was so big, so loud and so obvious that my father realised that for once it might be his shit under threat and got into a panic telling the whole Internet about it so we remained un-burgled.

Even without a criminal offence being committed this unfortunate turn of events would normally give the police probable cause to open a serious and organised crime investigation. The purpose of that investigation would be to examine if a tax payer funded and council run operation set up to protect retired people from burglary was instead being used by burglars to identify pensioners that would be easy targets for robbery.

Depending on how much time I have tomorrow I might bring the matter up with the Croydon branch of Her Majesties Constabulary. I'm not sure I can be bothered though because, as we've already established, there is more then enough evidence to bring Croydon Council under emergency measures.