The Brits Nearly Pulled Something Special Out of the Bag There.

As part of national bullshit month Britain yesterday released three carefully crafted stories in carefully crafted chronological order;

1. The Morning Story. It was announced that Northern Rock continued to provide risky 120% mortgages after it had been bailed out by the British Government. Of course in this story Northern Rock could refer to me, it could refer to the Bristol Abuse Case or it could just refer to the Northern Rock bank.
2. The Lunchtime Story. It was announced that a management buy out of Leyland Daf Vans (LDV) was "no longer an option." British Leyland could have been a reference to that other failing British factory Mind in Croydon. It could've been a reference to the activities of the Unite union in the British auto industry or it could just have been a reference to the LDV factory which has been out of production since December 2008.
3. The Evening Story. A closed court session rejected an appeal by unnamed parents to overturn an unnamed local authorities decision to end their treatment of a sick and brain damaged child known only as Baby OT. Naming the child as OT could be a reference to British businesses cutting overtime (O/T) payments to workers in response to the economic downturn. Referring to the child as sick and brain damaged could be a reference to me. Referring to the local authority withdrawing treatment could indicate that my local authority is about to end it's violent treatment towards me. Referring to the child's life support system being turned off could indicate that my income flow is about to be turned off.

Taken individually these stories are puzzling enough but an experienced observer should have been able to cut through the initial confusion and link the stories together. If they were to do that then they would get the impression that in response to my post of Thursday Britain underwent a massive internal power struggle between the Crown and the Labour government to decide my fate. The Crown (the baddies) had won the argument and I am now to be destroyed. This is in itself nonsense because the whole performance goes back to last Friday where I was discharged from my psychiatrist. The idea was that I would be so incensed by this that it would cause me to have an aggressive outburst that would throw Comic Relief night into chaos and in turn make the G20 finance summit a tense and exhausting affair.

Elsewhere Prince Charles is off in South America trying to seduce Brazil, the BRIC group's wild card, into thinking that the G20 Summit is not just there to serve Britain's economic interest. The new Commissioner of the Metropolitan Police has done a series of news interviews giving his predictions for the G20 protests and National Bullshit month has spread outside the world of politics and infected the worlds of sport, cinema, art and music. I would go into more detail about those but it would probably only add to the confusion and besides I've just broken my glasses proving the old adage; If it can go wrong it will go wrong.