So My Little Brother got Beaten Up.

It actually happened on February 1st the Sunday when the snow came down but I didn't get to hear about it until the Tuesday just gone which sort of proves how often me and my brother talk.

My brother doesn't really know what happened so I, by extension, don't really know what happened either. From what he has told me though it sounds as if he was walking home when he got swarmed by four of five of what the Daily Mail would call delinquent hoodies. After giving him a few good punches and a few good kicks his attackers left him and his property to continue their walk home. He was wearing glasses at the time and during the course of the attack these got pushed against his face and cut his nose open so he had to go to hospital the next day and have the cut glued and closed up with butterfly stitches.

The incident was reported to the police but with no clear description of the attackers, no witness and no clear motive for the attack the local lodge have decided they're not going to investigate further. If there were to ask me to help with their enquires I think there are three possible scenarios they should consider;

• It was just a random attack. This is Croydon after all where the local council can hardly be described as competent. You may have heard about us from one of the murders or that time we topped the Operation Trident league table with 27 shootings in 27 days.

• Laws of War. Someone recognised my brother, correctly identified him as a government informant and did what needs to be done. I'll admit that's a little bit funny but he is my younger brother so if there needs to be some kicking done I'll do it.

• The Council Did it. The attack happened opposite a building called Stonebridge Lodge which is a privately owned building which provides sub-standard Bed&Breakfast accommodation all for a tidy profit paid for by Croydon Council's Housing Benefit Department. This means that someone at the Housing Benefit department could have ordered the attack by getting the owner of Stonebridge Lodge to put the word about that my brother was delaying the council in meeting it's obligations because if my brother was to move out of my mother's flat I could move in and the council would then be able to pay me housing benefit. This is of course nonsense because if the council can pay on my mothers property then they can certainly pay out on my fathers property.

Of these three scenarios I think the third is by far the most likely because when the first housing benefit application went in I got the impression that someone had been rattling the cages of the local hard cases. I could just be wishful think on my part though because if Croydon Council did order the attack then it means they're now so far in the shit they've gone and beaten the crap out of one of their own informants.