Seeing as Zimbabwe appears to be over save for the killing

We may as well avert our gaze because we don't want all that suffering to spoil the buzz of how successful we are and turn our attention to domestic politics. Where there has been some quite interesting debate.

Firstly we have had the announcement that former Deputy Prime Minister and well known lard arse, John Prescott has in fact been suffering from a long time from Bulimia, a disease which causes sufferers to binge on vast amounts of food and then purge by making themselves sick. Given that the people who normally suffer from this condition tend to be stick thin and suffer the health problems associated with malnourishment I have to say that John Prescott is without doubt the fattest Bulimic I have ever seen. So fact in fact I think he's actually confusing the chronic, serious and often life threatening mental illness with the more gluttonous problem of simply eating and eating until you make yourself sick.

This apparent confusion does however shed some light on why the Labour government appears only to come up with the most idiotic and suicidal plans to reform mental health care and sickness benefits system.

The second major issue that is making headlines at the moment is the scrapping of the 10% rate of income tax. As you may remember this was announced in Gordon Browns last budget as prime minister where he attempted to dress it up as a 2% tax cut.

For those of you who are not familiar with the UK income tax system there are three tiers for the top earners this rate is set at around 40%, for the middle tier it is set at 20% and for the lowest tier, the poorest in society, it was set at 10%. However as of this month the lower band has been scrapped meaning that everyone will now pay either 20% or 40% and the lowest earners in society have seen their income tax increase by a staggering 100%.

Brown has attempted to justify this change by saying that it will simplify the tax system and generate an extra £7bn for the treasury. What he failed to mention though is that it will also squeeze people who are already suffering from food poverty and fuel poverty even harder while making people who earn around £50,000 (twice the national average) much better off.

He has also apparently failed to consider the idea that people like me who are currently receiving benefits and considering moving back into work will look at that and go; "Fucking hell, returning to work will in no way ever be of benefit to me so I just won't bother". Also the several million people who are currently working in low paid jobs doing things like working in the restaurant trade, cleaning hospitals and working in job centers will look at that and go "If I carry on working I'm going to have to choose between eating and heating my house, fuck that I'm going on benefits."

Of course Mr Brown in his wisdom has decided that will all be avoided by getting even tougher on benefit claimants making the people who work for the benefits agency even less popular and their job even more difficult so we will have to pay more to encourage people to do it. If you doubt this just bear in mind that Benefit Agency staff are already scheduled to go on strike on April 25th over pay and conditions.

The other main defence for this tax plan Browns government has offered is that the money saved will be used to fund an elaborate scheme of child tax credits so the only people who will be punished by this change are the feckless people who choose not to have children they cannot afford to raise.

The fact that the government seem to think that this is a good thing can only lead me to conclude that the real justification for this plan is that it will address Britians falling birth rate and help us solve the pensions crisis and breed soldiers for the ongoing war against Islam.

The idea that encouraging the poorest sections of society to have more children will solve the pension crisis is laughable because as experience shows these children will require more government spending on education, more government spending on health care with very little guarantee that when these children grow into adults they will be able to do the jobs available for them in the next 20 - 30 years raising the possibility of even more government spending on welfare programs.

I know that the idea of a war against Islam might sound deranged but I used to live someone who worked for Cabinet Office Briefing Room A, the infamous COBRA and they do sit around all day asking themselves questions like "What would we do if there was a major terrorist attack on London on the same day we were invaded by Martians and the USSR reformed and started nuclear war?" so while that dystopia might seem unlikely it would be remiss for the government not to plan for such and eventuality and quite frankly the way geopolitics are going at the moment it is looking more and more likely by the day.

The problem with that plan though is that warfare has changed. Gone are the days where long lines of conscripts would fix bayonets and charge on the enemy lines. Now we have guided bombs, nuclear weapons and asymmetric warfare there is little need for vast armies. Also the wars of the future will be fought against the backdrop of resource shortages. Under these circumstances you would want a small, intelligent and dynamic population rather then a huge bloated one which needs the government to tell them how to wipe their own arses. So even the most extreme justification for this tax cut I can come up still fails to make it look like a good idea.

Obviously having come out with such a shockingly bad idea many of Mr Browns MP'S are threatening a commons revolt over the issue. One of the Milibands has responded by warning them that squabbling in the ranks could endanger Labours chances at the upcoming local elections. Which aside from being a threat to obey or else is a statement of the blindingly obvious as it is something we've been aware of for a long time and explains why the pinstripes have been standing in ministers offices, "No there's nothing we can do about it" and "Don't worry they'll come round too to the idea soon sir." God anyone would think that the silly little graduate had never seen an episode of Yes Minister and quite frankly if this lot can't manage to run their own departments I'm beginning to wonder whehter it's such a good idea to let them try to run the country.


On a personal note I apparently have "won" which means I now have to rely on this same shower of shite to go off and preform a series of delicate and complex task which they have already demonstrated they do not understand and unwilling to follow my advice on so excuse while I sit back and feel that this "win" is in fact more of a loss.