Seeing as the porns been swtiched off I've decided to focus more on football.

As we are coming to the end of the current seasons, both domestic and European lots of teams are beginning to state that results cannot be judged until the end of the season.

The way that there has been flurry of these statements after yesterdays pile of wank would suggest that these have some reference to the alleged contest between myself and Anna. I can't understand how this would be true though because from a purely espionage and soft science perspective Anna's season ended almost two years ago when she blew her cover.

It was also over when she again blew her cover ahead of the German fishing trip which resulted in quite high costs to her team both in terms of lost intelligence and the expense of shutting down Bristol airport.

Her season also ended when she behaved in such a manner that she caused me to behave in such a manner that I didn't want to become her bestest, bestest friend and tell her all my secrets.

Her season also ended when she caused me to pull out of the Enterprise House project.

Her season also ended when such got into such a paranoid panic that somebody was out to get her she again caused the government to act in order to protect her.

In fact you could say that Anna is very lucky that this is a football metaphor rather then a cricket metaphor because having been caught out so blatantly on so many occasions she would have long ago have been expected to head for the pavilion without the need for an umpires decision.

Luckily for Anna though none of that is apparently relevant because the "season" we are discussing is the Proxara Biotechnology research project she is currently involved on.
This £2.8million research project is involved in research into lung cancer and is headed by two professors, neither of whom are called Anna or indeed even female. As it is a five year research project it is not scheduled to report until 2012, two years after the next general election and eight months before London hosts the Olympics although I'm sure if required this date can be extended.

Although I'm angry I can't actually say I'm that bothered because we already know that this research will not result in either a marketable anti-cancer drug nor will it result in any cancer treatment protocols. The absolute best this project will produce is a set of data which will require another couple of million pounds in grant money and another five to ten years in development.

I how ever know that my soft science hypothesis is good and will still be good in five years, ten years or twenty years so I have no real problem sitting around waiting for Anna to get her act together. I am however at little pissed off because if I'd been allowed to start two years ago my work would actually be finished by now.

The only two problems I have really with the contest is that I am aware that neither I, Anna or her partner are getting any younger and it is a well established fact the ability to learn decreases with age.

Also I apparently not be getting paid at any point during this elongated waiting period because it has already been made quite clear that I'm not going to be permitted to work. This however is not much of a problem because the benefit claim I've just submitted is a four year claim so if approved it will be coming to an end at the same time as Anna's research.

Obviously though this cannot be allowed to happen because if it does I'll still be around when Anna has to publish some indication of her success or failure. When that happens we'll be forced to sit down and consider the results of Anna's "season" alongside the £2.8million spent on it, the £32,000 spent on me, the £72,000 spent on her partner, the £80,000 spent on Sadie and all the pop stars we had to fly over for exclusive gigs. Also we will have to consider it alongside all the other work that we have been unable to do while we've been waiting and the work that our global competitors have been doing in that time.

Once we've considered all that we will have to ask the fundamental question of; "Was it worth it" and we all know the answer to that question will not reflect well on the project manager especially as I have no objection to Anna being allowed to continue her research at Bristol university and in fact I think her partner will actually benefit from be placed into an environment that is more dynamic then a city which needs to pay marshals to help Britstolians complete the complex task of catching a taxi.

It would appear though ladies an gentleman that I am facing the old Alex Ferguson stopwatch, a phenomenon first noticed in the late 1990's when teams visiting Old Trafford would discover that stoppage time at the end of the match would last exactly as long as it took Manchester United to score the winning goal.

Interestingly at the time this was happening the Man U brand was being expanded across the globe with cheap merchandise to act as a soft power beacon for Britain but we wouldn't want a long and tedious discussion about Brown's views on multilaterialism and China to spoil a neat soundbite.