Superbowl XLIX: The Commercials.

The Super Bowl features an hour of gameplay and a half-time show that lasts for around 15 minutes. However the broadcast lasts for at least 4 hours meaning that the overwhelming majority of it is commercials. Obviously then I can't pretend that I've seen every single commercial but I do think I've seen a good cross section including the most talked about ones. I am though of course open to taking recommendations.

As I explained in my post on Monday (2/2/15) before my To Do list suddenly grew the main trend amongst the commercials was what I'm calling the "Pravda Theme." Basically with the main theme of the game being America's recent racial tensions many advertisers were so afraid of being seen making light of a serious issue that they ran very sombre commercials that showed their commitment to social issues. However some took it a lot further producing what could easily be confused for government produced public propaganda films. This was done to promote discussion about just how far into radical and authoritarian socialism President Obama has sunk. After all these type of government announcements telling the public how they should think and behave where synonymous with Communist Russia especially through the state-run newspaper "Pravda" whose title meaning "Truth" rapidly became a joke.

Although I think that Always with their "Run Like a Girl" commercial completely owned all the competition the most talked about commercial by the Nationwide insurance group was firmly in this trend. It featured a boy of around 10/11 years old saying things like "I never got to learn to ride a bike" and "I never got to kiss a girl" alongside images of an idealised childhood before he stares down the camera and says; "Because I Died." Obviously I heard about this before I saw it but this is the sort of emotional bomb that would have really killed the mood at what is supposed to be America's biggest party. The commercial then shows us a montage of an overflowing bathtub, the poisons under the sink and a flat-screen TV while warning us that accidents in the home are the number 1 killer of children in America.

Basically the whole thing was just a government propaganda film with a corporate logo tacked on the end. Now that Communism has died as an ideology what everyone is talking about is authoritarian capitalism where corporations rather then the state telling the masses how they should think and behave.

Within the trend I think an honourable mention has to go to Reebok for their "Freakshow - Be More Human" commerical. Obviously being a sportswear brand it is quite difficult for Reebok to produce a commerical that doesn't glamorise sport and fitness in some way. However this particular commerical shows lots of everyday people training hard while explaining that they don't put themselves through punishing fitness routines because they're crazy but because it makes them better people. This tallied perfectly with the British government "This Girl Can" campaign that was referenced during the half-time show and is intended to get more women participating in health and fitness.

Now I do try and keep fit so I'm fully aware of the benefits it brings. In fact part of the reason why I was bouncing around until 3AM on Tuesday (3/2/15) night is that having got back to the gym recently my energy and stamina levels have suddenly shot right up. However when the government propaganda films - the UK's previous Labour government were big into this fitness theme - are telling me to do it strikes me less as a friend going; "You should try this, it's brilliant!" and more like a cattle rancher plotting ways to maximise his profits by reducing illness in the herd. That has particular reference to the immunisation debate that has blown up in US politics recently in the wake of a recent measles outbreak.

Obviously with many advertisers staying away this year it allowed some of the bigger players to run multiple adverts with which they did different things. For example Toyota ran a commerical with Paralympian Amy Purdy which resembled a Pravda commerical for disability rights and public health. However they also ran another commerical "My Bold Dad" which looked at the issue and importance of fatherhood.

While a small minority or Americans have been rioting in the streets screaming "Racism!" the rest of the country have been staring at them going "What the hell is wrong with Black America?!" One possible answer has been a disproportionately high number of fatherless black families which robs young black men of positive role models. So while many were nervously looking at their shoes in silence Toyota were at least prepared to stick their head above the parapet and join the discussion.

Similarly Microsoft ran one commerical that focused on disability sport and another that championed a woman who runs a project to provide education to poor (black was implied) American children. Disproportionally low rates of participation in even basic education may be another contributing factor to Black America's problems.

With race being such a sensitive social issue this year I think a conspicuous gallantry award must go to Geico insurance for their "Who Got the Swag" commercial. This featured a wrinkly old man of around 70/80 years old who can certainly play Jewish acting like some young, black hip-hop fool going on about all his money, gold chains and his women.

This style is what a lot of often homophobic young black men refer to as their "Swag" because due to very low rates of education they don't know that the term comes from the gay language of Polari and is an acronym meaning "Secretly We Are Gay." As a result the whole commerical plays on the notion that while young black men are out acting tough, selling drugs and killing each other old white men are sitting back and laughing about how they don't have to provide education, housing and jobs for them. Apart from homophobia anti-Semitism is a big problem within Black America and from the way that Obama behaves towards Israel you get the impression that his cohorts, especially Al Sharpton, constantly have an old Jewish guy in their heads telling them the simple truth that they're just not good enough.

If Geico should be given a gallantry award then Mophie should be taken outside and shot for cowardice. Their commercial "All Powerless" shows a World in chaos with dogs walking men, blizzards in Africa and rioting in the streets of an American city with at least one scene of looting. It then cuts up to heaven where it appears that God's cell phone has run out of power. It then pulls back to reveal the mind-blowing revelation that God's a black man!!!

Obviously if your were backing the Seahawks who represented the Black Lies Matter protests you would be expected to admire the courageous depiction of a black god. However if you were supporting the Patriots who represented everyone else you would be expected to admire the brave insult to Obama by pointing out that the world's gone to sh*t now a black guy's in charge. I personally consider that racist because I don't think that the colour of Micheal Brown's skin forced him to behave in the manner which led to his death. I also found this attempt to appeal to both sides quite offensive really underlines what I hate so much about advertising and that attitude of "We believe everything you believe just along as you give us your money."

I was also very impressed by the Turbo Tax advert. This showed the famous Boston Tea Party with the American revolutionaries famously demanding "No taxation without representation!" However a British army officer pops up in a boat wearing the famous coat and says; "OK we see your point about the tax thing. But what if you can file your tax returns for free?" The revolutionaries respond by going; "Yeah that sounds fair" and then just give up.

One of the big cultural battles in American politics is between the Tea Party who are very libertarian and take their name from the Boston Tea Party and Democrats who want to boost government welfare programs such as Obamacare. The Tea Party's big slogan is the entirely truthful; "Freedom isn't the Same as Free Stuff." So although they were plowing their own furrow far away from any trend or theme I was pleased that Turbo Tax were prepared to get into the spirit of things in what was otherwise quite a bland year.

Then you have Jeep's "Beautiful Lands" commerical which due to what I'm now terming the 'Valhalla Incident" turned out to be the most controversial commerical of the year. This just shows a Jeep Renegade being driven across all the toughest landscapes in the World while what has been described as a traditional American folk song by some plays. On the face of it this is just a classic patriotic US Super Bowl car commercial that boasts about how tough and World beating their vehicle is.

However if you scratch the surface the Renegade is being sold as the cleanest SUV on the market and the tagline is "The World is a Gift. Play Responsibly." Although vehicle emissions only contribute around 10% of global greenhouse gas emissions and electricity generation is a far bigger issue producers of huge, gas guzzling SUV's such as Jeep have poured huge amounts of money into climate change denial over the years making them a prime target for environmental activists. The song is actually the famous "This Land is Your Land" by Woody Guthrie which is a huge anthem for environmental activists because it talks about the land being a gift to be shared and protected rather then a possession to be destroyed for private profit.

As such the commerical struck me as the big motor companies going to the environmental activists; "OK we get it now please leave us alone, there are better targets" It must be said though that most US environmental activists have already moved onto things like fracking and tar sands.

Perhaps in an effort to show that they shared the environmentalists tolerant, liberal beliefs or perhaps to suggest better targets the commerical showed a brief shot of a Muslim woman in a headscarf. Arguably showing an image of a Muslim woman in such as completely neutral setting helps normalise Islam to Americans by pointing out that they guys on the news blowing stuff up are really just a tiny minority. The commercial also showed a brief shot of Bedouins on Camels which is basically visual shorthand for "Arabs." Now a lot of Americans who watched the Super Bowl are also on Twitter. Some of them are deeply, deeply stupid while others are so intelligent they immediately realised that my strange collection of outrageous racial insults and footage of hockey fights following the half-time show were actually coded insults about Katy Perry's ex-husband Russell Brand who like me is white. This combination of very stupid and highly intelligent meant that there was a lot of discussion about the use of the Muslim woman.

The Qatari state-run 'news' agency Al Jazeera collected up some of the most offensive Tweets - including the deeply sarcastic and coded ones - and ran a story in which they were used as evidence to show that all Americans (even the Muslim ones) are Christian Crusaders who hate Islam. In short Al Jazeera were once again being the propaganda arm of the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIL).

So when a Jeep smashed into a train in Valhalla, New York state on Tuesday (3/2/15) the US' reaction to an ISIL video that showed a Jordanian pilot being burnt alive was to run at their supposed ally Jordan screaming; "Lol! I bet your boy's face stank as his skin melted. Now what do you think about this Jeep commerical while explaining the philosophical issues raised in Dante's Inferno as referenced in the film Apocalypse Now?!?!"

You can't help but feel that a true ally would instead have led with; "Is there anything we can do to help?"


22:05 on 5/2/15 (UK date).

Edited at around 14:55 on 6/2/15 (UK date): Again rushed, needed to be tidied.