Typhoon Haiyan: Day 5.

Yes Tuesday November 12th 2013 (12/11/13) would indeed have been the 5th day since Typhoon Haiyan (Yolanda) made landfall in the Philippines. However if you've been following this blog or my Twitter feed (@Sovereignaka) you would know that today I've been a little bit busy.

However from the news I've been able to collide with I'm happy to report that things are slowly starting to improve. In a large part this has been due to the efforts of the Filipino government who have been able to re-establish 20-30% of the electricity and telecommunications to most of the 11 provinces affected. As a result they are beginning to receive more detailed assessments of the destruction experienced.

The Filipino government should not claim all the credit for the improvement though because once again the United States has heroically ridden to the rescue just 52 short days after they inflicted Rihanna on the nation. The first group of US Marines (USMC) arrived from Japan on Monday (11/11/13) bringing with them I believe 1 C130 transport plane and 4 V-22 Osprey's. If you are not familiar with the V-22 it is possibly one of the coolest aircraft ever invented. The size of a medium lift aeroplane it can take off an land like a helicopter. If you know anything about the physics of flight you will understand that this is a truly astounding feat of engineering. However if you know nothing about the physics of flight you will know that this is much like a CH-47 Chinook helicopter only much more expensive and much more temperamental.

However the point I was aiming for in my drunken state is that upon arrival the USMC Commander made the point that for every person they bring into the country they also have to find water, food and shelter for that person. I believe the USMC are now in charge of building airstrips. As a result of these pathfinders though the US has now dispatched the USS George Washington carrier group to the Philippines. I'm not sure exactly how many ships make up that carrier group but the George Washington itself provides an landing platform for up to 80 aircraft. I assume for the duration of this visit those 80 aircraft are going to be made up of UH-60 Black Hawk and AW101 Merlin helicopters from around the world.

Valiantly joining in the UK has also dispatched a single C130 aircraft and the HMS Daring destroyer from Singapore. Daring is expected to arrive on Friday (15/11/13) complete with one Westland Lynx helicopter which although it can fly upside down is like the helicopters the Filipinos have already got only a bit more sh't. However the HMS Daring along with all the ships in the USS George Washington group each represent a clean water factory which will save lives.

On Monday the Flipping government declared a "state of calamity" which legally makes absolutely no sense to me at this point although I believe it prevents local vendors raising their prices in order to profiteer from the disaster and makes government funds readily available to the provinces. Although this seems highly sensible to me it does stop short of the declaration of martial law that I insist is required. After all if people are going to attack rescue helicopters as they land rescue helicopters are going to be have to be flown with an armed escort helicopter and frankly those escort helicopters should be allowed to at least machine gun a few of the c*nts on the ground.

In terms of disaster relief I believe the United Nations World Food Program has now set up a special fund that is accepting donations here; https://www.wfp.org/donate/typhoon-philippines-a

Also the UK's Disasters Emergency Committee (DEC) is attempting to raise money but I can't recommend that umbrella organisation until I manage to streamline my hatred of the 'charity' "Save The Children" into something vaguely resembling English.

However for my celebrity readers the Filipino government has transferred it's clearing account to  NDRRMC at the Development Bank of the Philippines SWIFT code; DBPHPHMM account number (#36002016). At the risk of setting fire to the Asian markets and starting a small war with Iran I assume fees are going to be waived.

Finally in this overwhelmingly Catholic nation I think it is up to the Pope to grant collective last rites to all the dead so that they can immediately be cremated or ideally buried in mass graves whilst still getting into Heaven.

23:55 on 12/11/13.