Operation Misery: Month 9, Week 3, Day 7 - The AMA's

Yesterday Rihanna attended the American Music Awards (AMA's) at the Staples Centre in Los Angeles, California. This was supposed to be a celebration of American music over the past 12 months so obviously it wasn't entirely about Rihanna. However;

The show was opened by Katy Perry, Rihanna's sometimes friend and opponent of her relationship with Chris Brown. It was closed by Miley Cyrus who has been frequently compared to Rihanna over the past 12 months or so as both a rival and possible replacement. Somewhere in the middle Lady Gaga performed "Do What You Want (With my Body)" alongside R Kelly who was playing the role of a black President. This was a none too subtle reference to how US President Barack Obama has endorsed the horrors that have been inflicted on Rihanna over the past year in order to further his own political agenda. The show was hosted throughout by Cuban/American rapper Pitbull and featured Puerto Rican Jennifer Lopez performing a tribute to Celia Cruz a Cuban singer who was dubbed "The Queen of Salsa." This was all to appeal to the Hispanic audience that is so central to the immigration reforms Obama is trying to use Rihanna to force through.

Despite my best advice Rihanna not only attended the award ceremony but sat in the audience throughout. I suppose we should be thankful for the small mercy that Rihanna was seated away from anyone controversial such as Miley Cyrus although she was just across the aisle from Katy Perry. I suspect that physical gap was supposed to represent the rift between the pair caused by Chris Brown. For the early part of the ceremony Rihanna wore a black custom Jean Paul Gaultier bra top and mini-skirt with lace trim that gave the impression of a much longer skirt. Throughout Rihanna's hair was worn short, slicked back and pinned down in a style known as a "Dominican Doobie Wrap." This was obviously better then the Whitney Houston/Winnie Mandela style Rihanna had been sporting over the last week but was a none to subtle reference to the immigration issue.

Despite being nominated for four awards Rihanna only succeeded in winning "Favourite R&B/Soul Female Artist." This was a surprise because I would have thought in order to get Rihanna to attend the AMA's the organisers would have had to at least guarantee that she would win everything she was nominated for. The reason why most people would have expected Rihanna to miss the AMA's is because the organisers were openly mocking her by presenting her with the special, and unique "Icon" award. This type of award for which there is only ever one nominee is normally reserved for people at the end of their lives and is sometimes dubbed the "Quick Give Them Something Before They Die" or "Epitaph" Award. Therefore by presenting Rihanna with the Icon Award the AMA organisers were trying to send the signal that Rihanna's time is up and her career is now over.

Prior to accepting the Icon Award Rihanna changed into a full length inky grey silk gown and performed "Diamonds" with a full orchestral accompaniment. "Diamonds" is of course the title track of Diamonds World Tour that was intended to destroy Rihanna's career and still might with Rihanna's CIA handlers/Live Nation (the management) continuing to push for it to be extended with a South American leg. The act of Rihanna performing "Diamonds" at the AMA's was itself intended to be another nail in the coffin of Rihanna's career by reminding us of the really nasty element of the tour strategy that involved turning the mineral rich nations of central Africa into an even worse hell hole. Fortunately due to the raising of several quite large armies that element of the plan failed to materialise.

Rihanna was presented with the Icon Award by her mother Monica Braithwaite. This was obviously intended to raise all the issues about Rihanna's childhood such as her violent father and the impact on Rihanna's own relationships especially with Chris Brown. Those who have a greater depth of knowledge of the subject will also have picked up on the reference to the ongoing Berdon LLP case and the associated Inland Revenue Service (IRS) investigation into Rihanna. After all while I don't know the truth both Rihanna and her mother's apparent evasiveness in giving depositions of evidence has been used to imply that the pair are guilty of tax evasion and therefore the IRS audit is justified rather then merely a mechanism to allow the management to exert control over Rihanna through fear.

In her acceptance speech Rihanna talked about growing up in Barbados and her journey to America and fame and fortune. This obviously has quite a strong relevance to the immigration debate. However when you consider it alongside the IRS issue it seems to also touch on the issue of slavery and people trafficking. By talking about how at 15 years old she had to battle her mother in order to be allowed to audition for strange men in their hotel room wearing her school uniform Rihanna appeared to be arguing in favour of child prostitution. However on what was clearly a difficult evening I think we might let that one slide.

In case anyone failed to pick up on the fact the AMA's were marking the end of Rihanna's career - and hey Rihanna turned up - later in the show two of the original members of the band TLC performed "Waterfalls" with Lil' Mama assisting. The third original member of TLC - Lisa 'left eye' Lopez - was killed in a car crash in 2002 meaning that the band is now forever associated with death. Also before the start of the Diamonds World Tour I made reference to the song "Waterfalls" in order to highlight the espionage 'waterfall' technique that the management were intending to use to destroy Rihanna's career by turning her fans against her.

As for Miley Cyrus she closed the show by singing "Wrecking Ball" wearing basically panties and a sports bra in front of a computer animation of a giant pussy cat that was singing along with her. Even by my standards this was a really tasteless reference to the fact that since Miley Cyrus has started appear wearing not many clothes literally millions of people have started commenting on her 'Camel Toe.' A 'camel toe' is the outline of the outer lips of the vagina or 'pussy' as they press up against tight fabric. I believe there is now even a Twitter hashtag #MileysCamelToe.

So in closing the only good thing I can say about the AMA's is that now Chris Brown has been given Court mandated rehab Rihanna now has a little under three months to stop, breathe and consolidate her position in LA. Alternatively she could press ahead with the move to the east coast.. I of course though think that Rihanna should come to London, UK to see me for a bit. That's because part of the reason I'm so p*ssed off by all this is that it has always been so easy to avoid.

16:45 on 25/11/13 (UK date).


Edited at around 19:30 on 25/11/13 to add;

Writing the above was an experience akin to having your teeth pulled out. So for the sake of brevity I left out Katy Perry's performance because it struck me as obvious. However I've now decided that might have been remiss of me.

All the Japanese iconography was clearly a reference to Japan. However I think the main theme of Katy Perry's performance was that of the Geisha. Although there is slightly more to it then that Geisha's are essentially prostitutes so this brings up the prostitution element of the slavery/human trafficking debate which has been a central element of Rihanna's life recently especially in her relationship with Chris Brown. Also the issue of "comfort women" who were essentially Chinese women who were kidnapped to have sex with Japanese soldiers during the second world war is still a major source of tension between China and Japan. Therefore it seemed an appropriate way to start a ceremony that was intended to exert pressure on people in the eastern hemisphere who were getting up and starting their working week while all this was going on.

As for my performance apart from screwing up my sleep patterns the management were hoping that I'd be watching and giving a live Olympic ceremony style Twitter commentary in order to make sure all the issues were raised and discussed by the audience. In protest I decided to just muck about in the most confusing and offensive way I could manage in. So for example when I announced I was following Katy Perry on Twitter I was merely pointing that I was actually listening to Orpheous' "The Can-Can" at the time. When I asked Miley Cyrus if she'd had any large incursions recently I was trying to hint that I was listening to Massive Attack in the smuttiest way possible.