A Quick Memo.

I'm sorry for sullying my blog with this quick memo to the US State Department. It's just one of those things that's just a little too long for a series of Tweets.

Hi,
      Just wondering when you are going to confirm whether it will be the US Embassy in Singapore or the US Embassy in Thailand that will be dispatching a delegation to explain to Rihanna's tour party their new obligations for this tour. It's just we all already know that the three pillars of the US' control over Rihanna are as follows;

• A fear that her behaviour will somehow result in Chris Brown finally being punished for his multitude of crimes. I appreciate that the US were hoping to spin this into a debate about whether Rihanna is still in love with Chris Brown. Unfortunately wherever you go on this planet most people understand that there is quite a range of human emotions between being madly and deeply in love and wanting to see someone sent to prison.

• A fear that her behaviour could result in her or her friends being stripped of their right to remain/work in the US. I appreciate that the US were hoping to spin this issue into a debate about US immigration policy. However the way things are going at the moment I'm seeing less of an immigration debate and more of the Democrats just giving the Republicans everything they want.

• A fear that her behaviour will result in the Judge ruling against her in this Berdon LLP lawsuit. I appreciated that the US were hoping to spin this issue into an attempt to destroy Rihanna's reputation by making it look like it's all about greed. However most people understand the the Berdon case is interlinked with the Inland Revenue Service (IRS) audit which may result in a criminal prosecution of Rihanna and her associates on tax evasion charges. Wherever go on this planet though most people understand that there is a range of human emotions between wanting to see someone sent to prison and wanting to see yourself sent to prison.

Once these pillars have been identified the specific mechanisms by which that control is exerted is of little interest. At this point though I would have liked to point out that the agent outside of the room would be the easiest to deactivate. However previous experience tells me you'd only find a way of convincing yourself that such a statement could be spun to get everybody focusing on the @PiscesAreUs Twitter feed. We won't. It will either still be there at 12:00 on Saturday (21/9/13) or it won't be.


As for South Africa; I strongly suggest you cut out all this rape, rhino poaching, crime cr*p because it only makes you look poor. In fact as this third leg of Rihanna's tour is built largely around the two South Africa concerts it would probably be best if you just kept quiet no matter how much the UK tries to provoke you with the Shrien Dewani issue.

14:00 on 20/9/13.